The most awful thing is studying all day and night for a test and then absolutely blanking when it comes down to it. Well, it's probably worse if you don't even study. But either way, these made up answers are pretty creative and deserve an A+!
I Mean He’s Not Wrong…
“High School Physics
What do waves transmit?
Energy
What do waves NOT transmit?
Giraffes
I got the point” Source
Point Proven
“I once wrote a report in a school English exam. Right in the middle I wrote “I DON’T THINK THAT YOU EVEN READ THESE ESSAYS DO YOU MISS HALL?” In block caps. Miss Hall never said anything to me about it. Point proven i think” Source
Beating The System
“My high school English teacher was similar. We’d get assigned a book every month pretty much, and she wanted a plot summary of each chapter, plus an analysis. After a while people started to notice that longer assignments usually got higher marks. This led to a nice little arms race as far as report length (who says game theory doesn’t belong in English class). What most people didn’t seem to notice (but I did) was that there was a conspicuous lack of creases by the staple when we got the reports back, especially as they got longer.
So, the next book was a Margaret Atwood novel. Don’t remember which one, but I can’t stand her, so I decided I’d had enough of the bull—-. My report was about 30 pages (average last time was 25ish, so 30 seemed good). Nice title page, table of contents, introduction page, the whole deal. Except that after the introduction, every single page was just “lorem ipsum” text. There was a slight flaw in my plan when someone decided to print off the sparknotes for the book and just hand that in (about 50 pages), so I just grabbed a wad of blank paper from the printer and tacked it on the back. Got it back (un-creased) with somewhere around a 90%. Sparknotes girl got a higher mark, but hey, I’m pretty sure I spent less time” Source
A For Effort
“I had a teacher in the 10th grade who made us do “twenty facts” for a video in marine biology class.
My first fact: “Mrs. Keller is a fish.”
Came back with a check mark right on top of the sentence”Source
Oh Kyle
“A friend of mine wrote “PENIS BLOOD MURDER DEATH ABORTION” over and over on an answer he didn’t know for a test. He had to see the school psychologist and he got suspended from school.
The school sent home some sort of notification that said “Kyle was suspended for writing the following on his exam: PENIS BLOOD MURDER DEATH ABORTION.” He took this form to a t-Shirt store in the mall and got a shirt made with that section enhanced. He then wore the shirt to school and got suspended again” Source
And Take That
“I was failing my college pre-calc class and had no chance of passing, even if I got an A on the final. I had no idea what was going on and the professor liked to make an example of me in front of the class on a regular basis because I was behind in the class. Eventually I said f— it and acted like just as much of an a–hole toward him as he did toward me.
The last question was a picture of two graphs that said “Label the major and minor axes”, so I drew a hatchet and a double sided battle axe, and labeled them minor and major axes.
I got full credit for the question, probably as a final “f— you” from the professor” Source
Whoops…
“10th grade Trig. I thought it was odd that the last page of the math test was blank. But, when I finished waaay ahead of everyone else and turned the test over, I decided to use my time wisely…
…by drawing a picture of my math teacher, as a Care Bear, masturbating to a calculator…
When the first person submitted her test, she whispered a question to the teacher. He interrupted the exam, “Everyone, the last problem on the test mighta got cut off in the copier,” and he wrote it out on the whiteboard.
I flip back– sure enough, I see the bottom half of a math problem at the top edge of the page. D’oh!
It was hard. I was absorbed in the problem, and time was running out. The bell rang– I failed to solve it. DAMN! Disappointed in myself, I submitted the test and left. I completely forgot about the drawing.
The next day, I received my grade, and 3 days of “in-building suspension” Source
Easy Peasy
“Not a difficult exam but a required one: on the exam in HS that we had to take to demonstrate basic proficiency in math and English, we had to write a basic 5 paragraph essay to show we were reasonably literate and able to communicate. They stressed repeatedly in the pre test prep and on the test itself that the content of the essay was unimportant, that the graders wanted to see complete sentences, idea progressions and the ability to make a point (ANY point). They gave us 3 or 4 topics to choose from – all broad, easy to answer questions. I wrote 5 glorious paragraphs on how Easy Cheese was the pinnacle of human civilization and clearly what ancient man had been working toward for centuries. I passed and all but my academic adviser was livid” Source
Try Again
“I was taking my Biology final. I don’t remember the exact wording of the question, but it was something like “what constitutes the majority of cells?”
…apparently, “black people” was not the correct answer” Source
Wait, What Does That Say
“My english teacher in highschool was a spiteful b—-. she claimed that she couldn’t read my handwriting… i tried script, i tried cursive, i tried all caps. every time i tried something new she failed me. with no chance of making it up or anything.
so for our final exam i wrote in crayon on that huge handwriting paper from elementary school… the one with the two thick lines and one dotted in the middle. yeah i got suspended. came back, re-tested and got into AP english. F— YOU MRS. CROOKS. YOU OLD PIECE OF S—” Source
The Marginal Cost Is…
“I was taking an Economics final. The question was something about Marginal Cost. I explained that the marginal cost of me completing the questions was far higher than the marginal benefit of me just leaving the exam half an hour early, since I had already passed the subject. Then I left the rest of the exam blank and left” Source
What A Sneak
“I think the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever written on an exam was actually an omission. I was a straight-A student in high school and my Latin teacher loved me. Being a devious little teenager, I decided to try to outsmart the teacher.
When it came time for an exam (which we answered on our own loose-leaf paper), I would make sure to end a question at the end of each page, and then on the other side I would skip forward several questions. I assumed that she was grading so many tests that she wouldn’t even be thinking about what number was last– and I was right. I continued to get A+’s even though I skipped 3-4 questions per exam” Source
A Doodle A Day
“I used to draw on a lot of my test. Not just little doodles, but huge pictures on the back. Just random things, whatever came to my mind, most of my teachers/professors liked it (I only did it with the ones I thought was cool). I guess they might of also thought it was disrespectful or something but they never said anything. They just thought it was creative.
One time we got a bonus “trick” question asking about Noah’s Arc, I forgot what the question was but it asked something like “Why did Moses build an arc?” or some s–t. I wrote: “Moses didn’t build an arc, Noah did. Moses was a basketball player that led the 76ers to a NBA championship in…” I then continued to write a paragraph on Moses Malone. I was a loser” Source
How Did That Even Happen?!
“What a question. My junior year of high school I took IB History of the Americas I. It was towards the middle of the second semester, and we were taking a big test on the Civil War. The teacher wrote the question on the white board, and handed us all a print out with the question on it. It read: “Critically evaluate whether the American Civil War was in fact a civil war. Cite sources from the text, blah, blah, blah”.
It was a written test and we were given 50 minutes to complete it. After the class period, we were all super confident that we’d get A’s. I remember comparing arguments with the guy who sat next to me, to see whose were the strongest. Now, here’s the good part. The next day we come to class and our teacher is livid. He slams down our notebooks and shakes his head in shame, saying how he can’t believe that every single one of us wrote about the wrong war.
Turns out, we had a communal fail moment, and argued that the American Revolution was a civil war, as opposed to the American Civil War. All 38 of us. The sad part is, our teacher didn’t know what to do, so he graded us all as though we’d actually answered the question (and the majority of us got As). It’s something my graduating class has vowed never to forget” Source
Best Answer Yet
“I didn’t write anything, i just stapled a $20 bill to it and handed it in” Source
Brutal…
“Question in health class: “Name three things you can do to help avoid the spread of HIV.”
My answer: “Wear a condom. Abstain from sex. Don’t play basketball with Magic Johnson” Source
It’s Closing In
“I attended a private art college with a heavy focus on classes associated with your major (graphic design, 3D animation, etc). This meant that a number of the general education classes were a complete joke. Our 300 level English class had us reading condensed versions of books that I had assigned in my high school freshman English class.
About halfway through the semester, we were asked to write an essay for the college so they could compare our freshman level writing skills against our junior level writing skills. One of the possible topics was “Describe a room”. That was it, just describe any room you’ve ever been in. I proceeded to write a several page analysis of the classroom I was currently trapped in; how the walls of boredom were slowly closing in on me as the clock ticked away hundreds of dollars of tuition money one agonizing second at a time.
I never did hear back from the college on whether or not my writing had improved” Source
A Sinking Feeling
“Not funny, just wrong. I wrote two f–king pages for a single “short answer” (they told us that meant short essays) question. It was perfect, I answered every point, drew graphs and diagrams illustrating my points, there was no way I would lose marks for it.
I get back home, take a quick glance in my book, and realised I had gotten confused with two words. The exam question had asked one thing, and I had answered the exact opposite. I was, and still am mortified at my stupidity.
This happened yesterday” Source
Not Bad
“On my AP Statistics test in the 3 free answer questions, I drew a penis that spanned 5 pages (the one question was 5 pages), “F— YOU AP GRADERS”, and a picture of a horse having sex with our textbook. I got a 3″ Source
A Terrible Collaboration
“In 10th grade English our teacher assigned us character statement in this format: “The character, (name of character), in the text (name of novel/play/whatever), causes the reader to feel (adjective) because he is a (adjective) (noun).
A friend and I collaborated on the following and submitted it anonymously: “The character Shylock, in the text, “The Merchant if Venice” causes the reader to feel anti-semitic because he is a dirty Jew” Source
How Clever
“An answer to an essay question about plagiarism in English 101:
When I was young, I’d stay up late,
Watch TV, procrastinate.
I’d wake up knowing a report was due
My teacher would collect it in an hour or two.
Back in the nineties, the only way
to plagiarize would take all day.
I’d copy from Cliff Notes every word
on “To Kill a Mockingbird.”
My English teacher would always know,
And my parents would ground me for a week or so.
Eventually, I wrote my own
With theories that were mine alone
Nowadays, the internets
have made it easy as it gets
to lift ideas from other media
Just cut and paste from wikipedia.
Jayson Blair from the New York Times
thought he’d lift a bunch of lines,
ideas from someone else’s mind
in full disgrace, he then resigned.
Plagarism isn’t right
If it’s not yours, you need to cite.
In this class, I’d like to stay
So I’ll cite my source with MLA” Source
Oh…
“We had to do a “writing sample” to be eligible for your HS diploma, back in 2001. It was shortly after 9/11. The topic was “heroes”.
I wrote that Osama Bin Laden was my hero. I compared him to George Washington, President Reagan, David with his sling against Goliath, and a few other choice figures. The whole thing was a bit insensitive but I justified it to myself as being a “f— you” to the core purpose of terrorism, as well as having the nice side effect of getting a rise out of the teachers. Our names were taken off of the essays, they were graded by ID numbers.
I didn’t tell anyone that I did it for fear of being beaten to s–t. A few days later, one classmate, in hysterics, said, “pzero, did you write about your hero being osama bin laden?”
I admitted to it. He told me that the teacher was super upset and failed the essay because of the content. Two other teachers passed it with flying colors, thus giving me a passing score.
I shouldn’t have done it, but it was definitely the most ridiculous thing I wrote on an exam paper” Source
Hey, It Worked
“not on an exam, but on the back of a biology test there was a question that was something like “name the 5 things essential for *_*“, and i didnt know what they were. So i drew a picture of mario and toad and princess peach being carried off by bowser with toad saying “no time for listing things now! princess peach is being kidnapped.”
i got it right” Source