From country club kitchens to fast food joints, this chef's real-life stories will surprise you at just how chaotic, dangerous and dirty life behind the scenes can get.
When You Just Gotta Have A Pickle.
"A woman runs into our restaurant from outside, dodges all the waitresses and then darts into the entrance of the kitchen and yells, " CAN I GET A PICKLE!??!" She was frantic. I've never seen someone so desperate for damn pickles. My co-worker grabbed a to-go box, put a bunch of pickle spears in, and handed it to her. She asked how much and he said "on the house." Then she just sprinted out again without saying another word."
The One Thing You Don’t Want Deep Fried.
"My coworker used to always injure himself in the most ridiculous ways. The first time he was trying to lean on the table next to the deep fryer. He literally missed the table and plunged his whole hand into the burning hot oil. He had to wear bandages for months!"
What Happens In The Country Club, Stays In The Country Club.
"I was walking down the hall of the country club I worked at with the head chef. We run into a security guard, laughing hysterically. He grabs us and pulls us into his office and points to the security monitor. On the screen is two club members having sex in the middle of the club's gym. Both of these charming people were married to other people and involved in local politics. Working at a country club is like being part of a soap opera, we saw so much infidelity."
Love Ain’t Easy.
"The same coworker was hitting on a new cute waitress. In the process he leaned back, real smooth, and instead of leaning on the counter he put his back on the edge of the range. The arm of his chef's coat probably had grease on the sleeve because the whole coat went up in flames! Needless to say, the waitress was not impressed."
Chicken Of The Sea?
"This is an actual conversation I've had to have. The customer asked me what type of soup we had, a perfectly normal question. I responded, "Chicken noodle and cream of crab." The customer said, "Don't you have something thats not seafood?" Then a pointed out that yes we did, the chicken noodle. The customer is always right so he yelled at me, "I said not seafood! Idiot!" Cool."
At Least The Knife Was Ok.
"The same clumsy co-worker strikes, yet again. This time he decided to show off his shiny new, very expensive knife. He decided to spin the several hundred dollar knife around and dropped it. He caught it with his foot. Sad thing is that his gut reaction was to stick his foot out just so the tip of the knife wouldn't get broken on the hard tile floor. Afterwards, I think he was in shock because he just laughed hysterically and let people take pictures of his skewered foot. Eventually, the boss advised a trip to the hospital."
Fancy a Fight?
"Country club parties are a more dramatic than prom. At this particular one the members were starting to get really drunk and very rowdy. One member somehow found out that his wife had been cheating him and punched a GIANT hole in the dining room wall. We watched him get restrained and set home. The police were never called because club members expect a certain level of discretion."
“Candy Crush Got SO REAL I lost Myself for a Second.”
"I was working in the kitchen when a tiny child suddenly just wandered in. He was totally engrossed in a game on his iPad so he didn't even realize he'd wandered behind scenes. The then bumped into me, looked completely startled and yelps, "Mommy??""
There Is Nothing To Be Sorry For.
"After work one day I stopped at the pharmacy to pick up my prescription. I overheard another customer say to her friend, "ew, who smells like bacon?" I'm sorry I'd just cooked 20lbs of bacon."
Guilty As Charged.
"We had a new female trainee who was twice my age, but had never worked in a kitchen before. After just one day on the job she asked astonished, "Does everyone back here swear? And talk about sex?? It's so rude!!!" I laughed hysterically. The answer, yeah, they do, that's just how kitchens are."
Cooking Takes A Lot Of Skills.
"Everyone always says "you can't be a cook, you're too skinny!" What they don't know is that part of the job is carrying things almost as heavy as you are up and down stairs all day is part of the job. It also happens to be an amazing workout."
The Wrong Place To Shave Calories.
"One of the funniest orders I've had in a while, "Can I get some diet ranch dressing? I'm trying to watch my figure." Not only is diet ranch STILL ranch, the customer was ordering it to go with an extra large order of hot wings and fries. So yeah, the diet ranch is not going to help with that."
The Best Part Of Working In A Kitchen?
"Cook yourself whatever you like, employees eat free!"