Reading these stories will make you realize that the people of Walmart really are their own species.
Aggressive Women on Scooter
“I worked at a Walmart for about 2 months. The weirdest thing I saw was an obese lady on a scooter run over a fat child in the candy aisle and then threaten him because he almost tipped her. Security was called and she demanded to receive her items for free. Eventually we just let her take the stuff because it was only like 5 dollars worth of skittles” (source).
“… but damn she threw that pineapple hard”
“I worked at Walmart last year as a cashier, and a woman came up to my register with nothing but a pineapple. It was 10:00 pm on a Tuesday, so it was a slow night, and she demanded I give her this pineapple for 25 cents because it was damaged. I didn’t see any damage, so I asked he to show me the damage. She promptly ripped the top greens off the pineapple, and said ‘See it now?’ I called my manager over and he said he can’t sell it to her for a discount, and he’s sorry, but she can get another one. She cursed, threw the pineapple at me, and walked out mumbling something about needing a cigarette. She was a prime example of trailer trash, but dang she threw that pineapple hard” (source).
“Do you have beef… from a pig?”
“A Customer asked me, ‘Do you have beef…. from a pig?’
Me: ‘Do you mean pork?’
Them: ‘No not pork, beef from a pig’
After a lot of basically guessing what the they wanted and them repeating ‘No beef from a pig’ I was able to figure out that they meant ground pork” (source).
Nothing Like Sitting in Some Fresh Poop
“So last year I worked at a Walmart’s super center as a cart pusher. You tend to see a lot strange stuff in the parking. Part of the cart pusher’s job is to bring back the store scooters after people leave them in the parking lot. One day I see an old woman outside the store just sitting on a scooter. This lady must have sat there for a good 2 hours before finally getting up to reveal a gigantic s–t stain all over the lower back of her hoodie, running down her pants. This other obese lady who saw the whole thing comes sprinting up the scooter and sits down on it before I could even clean it. She looked at me and said “I don’t care, hun. It was the last one left and my legs is killin’ me'”(source).
A True Sampling of Fertilizer
“This was back in the late ’90s. I was working at Walmart as my first job as a teenager. I was floated to the garden department one day and there was a guy looking at lawn fertilizer. I walked over and asked if he needs help, he said ‘Not now, just looking at the different kinds you have.’ Pretty standard reply from the guy, so I said ‘Okay, let me know.’ I walk away, and then swing back about 5 minutes later. Same guy has proceeded to rip open about 10 different kinds of the fertilizer all over the ground and is rolling around in the stuff. He is also taste sampling the stuff. I called my manger because I did not want to deal with it. Security escorted the guy out the store and called an ambulance in case the ingestion of the fertilizer hurt him” (source).
Walmart Employee or Babysitter?
“I worked at Walmart in the toy department 10 years ago right out of high school for extra money. The amount of parents who would drop their children off in the toy department like I was a baby sitter was out of this world. By the time they had left it would be a disaster area, on more than one occasion I would see them running down an aisle with their arms outstretched just knocking shit on the floor. When the parents would come back there was no ‘Hey let’s pick all this up,’ they’d just leave. I only lasted a few months. I actually quit a week before Black Friday because we had an instance at our ‘morning meeting’ where some of the veteran employees were telling us what to expect on Black Friday from customers. Examples include being spat on, pulled by the arms, knocked over, shoved, tripped, screamed at, hair pulled, threatened, etc. I went on break and didn’t come back. Not worth minimum wage” (source).
Whole New Level of Bad Parenting
“So, a couple years ago I was in between jobs. I needed extra money to pay the bills, so I figured that I’d take a job at Wal-Mart until something better came along. I ended up working in the Lawn and Garden section, which is actually fun when you get to play with plants all day long. However, I wasn’t aware that Lawn and Garden also does all of the ‘holiday; set up and placing said product on the floor. Fast forward to a week before the public school systems were in session. I had a cart full of notebook paper, pencils, trapper keepers, etc that I was trying to put on the shelves when a sound ripped through my ear drums that was similar to ones that are typically only heard on the Discovery Channel. Several decibels too loud, the best I can describe it is cats being lit on fire by their tails and being chased by rabid wolves. I looked around to figure out just who in the hell was being murdered in the store when I saw him. There was a kid about 8 years old who looked as if he was desperately trying to become Jabba the Hut, and said kid was succeeding. Now, I have no problems with fat kids, I even typically even think that they’re pretty freaking cute. However, this kid was not, due mainly to the alligator tears that were rolling down his cheeks, the beet red color of his face, and the sounds coming from his throat hole. It took me a minute to figure out what the hell was going on in my aisle, until I realized that this kid was throwing a fit because his parents wouldn’t buy him three different trapper-keepers, one of which was Hello Kitty. Normally, I’d just shrug and say, ‘typical Saturday in Walmart’ but oh no! This kid realized that his dad wasn’t paying attention to him, and was instead focused on the others kids. This pisses the kid off even more, since he howls with rage, and KICKS HIS WHAT LOOKED LIKE 8 MONTHS PREGNANT MOTHER IN THE STOMACH!!! To her credit, this lady didn’t whomp this spoiled little monsters [email protected] right in the aisle. No, she instead collapsed on the floor, and had to be taken away by paramedics. And that little kid took that as a sign that he could have ALL the trapper keepers he originally wanted. I watched this whole thing go down, and as the dad watched his wife get loaded into an ambulance, not one ‘you’re gonna get it later’ came from him. Instead, the jerk that kicked his mom started crying about being hungry and wanting chicken nuggets, which the dad then took him to get. This is why I hate people” (source).
Bathroom Meth Labs
“Not an employee at Walmart, but I stopped shopping there when I went to college. The local Walmart was notoriously bad. Three times in a row I went there, and walked down an aisle just in time to see a kid peeing themselves in the aisle, and no parent was in sight. The city made big news when the Walmart men’s restroom was found to have a makeshift meth lab in one of the stalls. Our area was predicted for a moderate snow storm, but the weather forecasters gave ridiculous numbers. Like they claimed we would have six inches of ice, and two feet of snow in that one night. Us rational people knew that we’d probably get four inches of snow. But many people swarmed the Walmart, and a few people made a Facebook page showing how devastated the Walmart was in preparation for ‘Snowpocalypse 2011.’ The Facebook page showed pictures as the store was swept clean within a couple of hours of Ramen, wine, milk, and cheese. My favorite picture that someone put up was the 40 year old man who had a shopping cart with 37 gallons of milk in it. Nothing else. Just a ton of milk”(source).
Warehouse or Bathroom?
“Just last week I was unloading a truck in the back of Walmart, and this morbidly obese woman hobbles through the big ‘Associates Only’ doors, bends over and takes a s–t on the floor, pulls her pants back up, and walks out. I got written up for yelling “What the actual f–k” but after the managers looked at the camera, they thought it was justified for me to yell that, and let me off with a warning. I don’t know what happened to her, but the maintenance guys were PISSED” (source).
“An older woman in her 50’s came in and said she was looking for a shampoo that would treat scabies. I told her I didn’t think we had anything specific for it but I would help her find something close in the ‘medicated shampoo’ section. I turn my back to her and start going through the merchandise, looking for something that would work. She says, ‘My, you have such pretty hair,’ and I feel her hand on my head. I jumped back from her so fast I almost knocked over an entire end cap. She was pretty offended by my ‘over-reaction.’ I thought I was justified in not wanting to be touched by someone that was currently suffering from an infestation” (source).
Never Be a Walmart Loss Prevention Officer
“My buddy was a loss prevention officer for Walmart. He walked around the store all day catching shop lifters. One day, after working there for about half a year, he saw a woman stuffing merchandise into her children’s clothes. When he approached her she started yelling and screaming that he was trying to molest her kids. Then she started spitting on him and saying that she had AIDS. He quit later that day” (source).
First Time is Only Time
“So my car doesn’t have an aux plug in, but it does have a cassette player, so I buy the cassette that has the plug attached to it. They are pretty cheaply made, so I have to replace them every 7 months or so. Target usually has what I need, but they happened to be out of stock that day. Walmart was in the same mall, so I just decided to suck it up and go. I walk to the electronics section, grab what I need, and head to the electronics check out. A lady sees me heading there, and runs, not fast walk, RUNS to get in front of me in line with my ONE thing. I just think whatever, she probably doesn’t have much either, that’s why she wanted to get in front of me. Then she calls for her husband to wheel the cart over, which has a TV and whole entertainment center loaded onto. I’m pretty pissed, but I’m a chill guy and keep my composure. Now buying a TV is a fairly long process, but it’s even longer WHEN NONE OF YOU EIGHT CARDS WORK. She then starts getting in an argument with her husband that he’s a piece of sh–, that’s why they don’t have money. They start fighting. Finally the guy at the register sees I have one thing and asks if they would step to the side so he could ring up my one item. The lady gets mad at him and says no. The husband yells at her and says to let me go while he figures out what went wrong. Finally I get wrung up, a transaction that took 45 seconds. I’m trying to high tail it out of the store at this point, when I’m stopped by a crowd of people in the middle of the walkway. I’m tall so I look over everyone to see what’s going on, and I see two checkout women literally fist fighting each other, while their coworkers cheer them on. I turned, went out the garden section, and have never gone back” (source).
“She was trying to be sexy…”
“Not a Walmart employee but I was a Coke merchandiser and had a Walmart as my first stop for a year. I’ll never forget one Friday morning I was there. I had been on the job for about two months and nothing prepared me for what I was about to see. It was 4:30 in the morning and I had just pulled a pallet out to the floor to start restocking our display. There was a very large woman that shopped every Friday morning around the time I started working and I had spoken to her on occasion. She usually asked about my job, how I was doing, and other innocent topics. However, the previous week she had taken things a little too far and made me feel uncomfortable when she said ” Ohhhh honey there is nothing sexier than a man in uniform. Especially one that works hard and is all sweaty.” Then she winked and waddled past me while rubbing my back. All I could say was what the f–k just happened… Anyways, this particular morning she came in on a power scooter and beelined it straight for me. I was still reeling from the previous week and could only muster a ‘What happened?’ She responded by saying ‘Oh sugar you just knocked me off my feet, I couldn’t walk today when I saw you.’ She then proceeded to grab a couple 2L of Coke off the pallet shook them up while I can only guess was her attempt at twerking in her scooter and then opened them, spraying it all over me and herself. It clicked… She was trying to be sexy… Then she rode off slowly leaving a trail of soda behind her and turned around winking at me, thinking I would follow. I never saw he again after that. I didn’t want to see her after that. And to make it all worse, I had to clean that stuff up completely covered in sticky Coke. F–k Walmart. Even if I were in to larger women, she had to have been 70 years old. She could have at least been a little classier about it. Pour that Coke into a champagne glass or something…” (source).
Crying Mini Whale
“I worked at Walmart for 3 months before quitting. One time, a whale of a woman and her crying mini whale stormed up to me while I was heading into the store to start my shift and began verbally berating me, saying ‘My daughter has a 104 fever, where is your baby tylenol?!’ I almost got fired because I replied, ‘If your kid has that high of a fever you need a doctor, not tylenol.’ Not to mention the item she wanted was recalled” (source).
“She pushed the cart with her child in it and just ran away…”
“A lady with a 2 year old kid in her cart tried to walk out with a cart full of stolen stuff, when we stopped her, she pushed the cart (with her child in it) at us and just ran away”(source).
Karma is a B%#*$
“A woman wanted to leave her cart at the customer service desk while she left to get something real quick. Thing is, she also wanted to leave her purse. When associates kept telling her to take her purse with her, she kept saying ‘Oh it’s okay I trust you, it just has lots of money in it!!’ She wasn’t saying it sarcastically, she kept loudly emphasizing the fact that she had lots of money in her purse. Eventually she was convinced to take it with her. Apparently she wasn’t convinced though because she left her cart in a different part of the store moments later with her purse in it. Her purse was stolen by another customer. She stayed in the store for hours in hysterics” (source)
“It was an eventful night”
“I worked nights in the bath and bedding department. One night we had a drunk guy and his sober girlfriend come in looking for a bathroom mirror so I tried to help him the best I could just so I could just get him out of the store. I showed him the counter top mirrors and he got extremely offended because he wanted one for IN the shower. He started yelling at me and I decided that I had enough of that shit and I started to walk away to go get a manager. This guy grabbed me by my shoulder, whipped me around to face him and started shaking me by my shoulders and screaming in my face. My manager called the police and about 30 seconds later the drunk guy pissed on the bike rack. It was an eventful night” (source).
Beans: A Line of Defense
“I was maintenance for two years cleaning restrooms and waxing floors overnight. There was a dude that was stealing a ton of food. He had a cart full of canned goods and he had stuffed steaks and pork chops and shit down his pants and walked right out the door. We had already called the cops but nobody wanted to stop the guy because he looked like a fucking crazy person. He got out to his car, popped his trunk and started loading his meat and canned goods in his trunk. Parked next to him was another associate who had been sleeping in his car on his lunch break. The associate got out of his car to go back in. I guess it spooked the thief because he started chucking cans of beans at the associate screaming “YOU WON’T GET ME!!’ Right about that time the cop pulled up behind him and got him” (source).
“People were walking their carts through…”
“I was a janitor at Walmart for about 6 months. One day I get a call over the walkie that there’s a clean up needed immediately on the main aisle in grocery. Before I can get there, an employee stops me, looks at my mop, and informs me that I’m going to need more than just the mop. So I put on a protective apron, thick rubber gloves, and lab goggles before responding to the call. Apparently a guy and his elderly father were shopping, and the dad had to go number 2 pretty badly. His son decided not address is fathers concerns, leaving the old man no other choice but to poop in his pants. The poop founds it’s way down his pant legs, and onto the floor. This poor guy dropped poop from the front of the grocery section to the back end. Worst part was that people were walking in it and driving their carts through, completely unaware. It took 2 to 3 hours to properly clean. The next day my manager brought me a plate of homemade cookies his wife had made me after she’d heard the story” (source)