Some of these ridiculous lies are so out there, the salesperson themselves probably doesn't believe them!
“While shopping for a used car, the salesman says the whole ‘someone test drove this today and said they were coming back for it. They really liked it…’ Get in the car, and it doesn’t turn over. Not even a little. Needed a whole new battery” (source).
“I used to sell cars”
“A time share salesman once told me and my wife ‘You can trust me, I used to sell used cars'” (source).
“I occasionally get semi-official looking mailings with a little plastic vial. It presents itself as a company hired by the city to do water quality testing. If you send it back, they’ll try and sell you a house water filter. I filled it with cooking coconut oil – the kind formulated to remain liquid at room temp – which is quite clear. When they came to ‘discuss the results with me’ I asked if there was anything unusual in the test, and they told me about how these specific mineral levels were elevated and I totally needed a water filter” (source)
“Had a Polish woman at an AT&T store try to sell my mom on a home security system when we were just in for new phones. I specifically say Polish because my mom and I are Polish and speak it fluently, and my mom isn’t the best at English. There’s a strong sense of solidarity between Polish people and my mom was eating the whole thing up. I convinced my mom that we should think about it over a night, and as soon as we walked out I told her it was a complete rip off. What’s funny is a year later I meet a girl through college who actually works at that same store and is the Polish woman’s coworker. She confirmed that the woman preys on Polish people who can’t speak English well and specifically ask for her since they feel they can trust another Polish person, and obviously there’s no language barrier. She gets people coming in for small issues and has them walking out with tablets and security systems and TV plans by blatantly lying. She’s even ‘stolen customers’ from my friend by straight up ringing my friend’s customers out under her own name(thereby getting the commission for the sale) and it turns into a he said she said deal and my friend drops it because it isn’t worth it. So yeah, the woman who takes advantage of people who can’t speak English by preying on their trust in others who speak the language, is probably one of the more awful sales people I’ve met” (source).
“Someone at Curry’s tried to sell me an expensive HDMI cable saying that I would need it to display high definition content on my TV and that the cheaper ones could only do standard definition. Sadly I hear that this happens a lot as Currys is more concerned about sales numbers and profit” (source).
A “Broken” Phone
“Not me, but my Mom. One morning when I was still sleeping, her iPhone updated and was on the ‘Hello’ screen. She doesn’t know much about technology, so she thought it was broken and brought it to the AT&T store. They told her it WAS broken and convinced her to get a new phone and start a new contract. When I found out, I was pissed. I turned her phone on and it worked! We went back up there and I spoke to the manager and told him what happened… He said we’d have to pay a restocking fee. He didn’t care at all and chalked it up to being just a misunderstanding. We ended up filing a complaint with corporate to get it refunded” (source).
Half the Couch
“‘This is as big as he’s going to get,’ said the lady at the animal shelter about a 20 pound puppy. He’s now 70 pounds and taking up half the couch” (source).
“A lady at the supermarket tried to sign me up for a pyramid scheme. She gave me a lot of pseudo compliments, but when she said she loved my shoes, I just walked away. I was wearing Crocs” (source).
“Brand new… Never used it at all…”
“Once, my dad and I were driving past a used trailer lot, and we were surprised to see what looked like the beat-up camper trailer we’d gotten rid of a while back. We pulled into the lot, and inspected the trailer. By George, it was our old trailer! It had a few very identifiable scuffs and bruises, including one wheel with mis-matched screws and bolts, after my dad and uncle Jerry-rigged it when the hub cap came loose, from driving cross country. My dad and I were laughing about how funny it was that the old trailer had wound up here, when the salesman approached us. The salesman reiterated several times that this was a ‘brand new trailer, never been used. Some guy bought it and just kept it in his garage, never used it at all'” (source).
“‘I guarantee you will not get into debt with this credit card!’ I tried to explain that debt is the integral function of the card, he didn’t get it” (source).
Orogold and Exfoliating Power
“Someone tried to sell me some expensive ‘Orogold’ facial cleanser which apparently contains gold particles which penetrate the skin and cause changes to the electrons in the skin, making it brighter. He looked visibly panicked when I told him I was working on a degree in biochemistry. Bear in mind these were visible flecks, not even nanoparticles or anything of the like which might have been slightly more plausible. It was pure snake oil. He also demonstrated the product’s ‘exfoliating power’ on the back of my hand, which appeared to slough off a load of skin and leave it very soft. Turns out it just had a PVA-glue sort of stuff in it, causing the cleanser to pill and accumulate resembling dead skin. Plain old glycerin made the skin feel ‘soft’. Such trickery, I’m sure other people would have fallen for it” (source).
Government Ban on Video Games
“Several years ago, I went to GameStop to buy a DS game (Mario vs Donkey Kong 2, if you’re wondering) and while he’s in the process of ringing me up, he starts the whole ‘Would you like to preorder so-and-so?’ pitch. I tell him no thanks, and I’d just like my game and I’ll be on my way. But then he says something absolutely ridiculous. ‘Well, I’m sure you’re going to want that game, since it’s the hottest new title coming out this year, and you’ll definitely want to preorder it! See, the US government is cracking down on video games and starting in a few weeks, if you don’t preorder your games, you won’t be able to buy them because we won’t be allowed to sell them off the shelves!’ I laughed at him and walked out” (source).
“Mom had a vacuum cleaner salesman at our house. He claimed that the bag could hold twice as much as any other vacuum cleaner its size without having to change it. So he dumped a container of debris all over the living room floor and proceeded to suck it up – except the hose got jammed because the bag overfilled and pushed the dirt backwards. So he connected the hose to the exhaust on the machine to clear the blockage, and it blew the entire load all over Mom’s very clean furniture and rug. It went everywhere – and so did he. Mom ushered him right out of the house before he could demonstrate yet another empty promise about the machine’s features” (source).
“His phone was unplugged”
“I once asked a car salesman if the car I just test drove came with a warranty. He picked up the phone on his desk, pushed some buttons and said ‘Hey, does that one come with a warranty? OK, cool, thanks.’ He then hung up, turned to me and said ‘Yeah, it comes with a warranty.’ His phone was unplugged” (source).
Netflix and Chill
“A cable company called me 6 years ago trying to convince me to purchase more services besides basic internet. I said I didn’t need cable because I had access to Netflix, Amazon TV, and Hulu through my internet service, and that there wasn’t anything on TV I wanted to watch that wasn’t on those services. The salesman said that no girls want to watch Netflix, and I would be alone and ruin all my future relationships unless I immediately upgraded my cable service. I think about that conversation every time someone says ‘Netflix and Chill'” (source).
Bankrupt Furniture Store
“The lied that that they actually owned the furniture they were selling to me. Payed for furniture at a furniture store. Was promised it would be delivered from the warehouse in a week. Come to find out they were in the process of bankrupting when I made my purchase. All the employees knew this but they wanted to get any commission on sales that they could. Another liquidation company already owned everything. To get our money back we had to fight the charge with the credit card company. Ended up getting every cent back” (source).
“My grandma was told she should get a faster Internet subscription because she lived on a hill and the electrons struggled to get up to her” (source).