A resume is all about selling yourself, but these applicants missed the mark big time!
Fast-ish Learner
“I’m hiring a person this week. So far, the worst thing I’ve seen on a resume was a listing of job skills, along with their skill level. (‘Customer Service: Expert’) Pretty basic stuff, right? Here’s the one that caught my eye: ‘Fast Learner: Intermediate.'”
(Source)
That’s Classified
“Screening for a CFO for a major UK brewing company. One guy was clearly not the full quid. No financial experience whatsoever and the only job he ever had was 6 months cleaning test tubes in a lab. He tried to explain the gaping holes in his work history as being classified by MI5. He got my name and phone number from the rejection letter and would ring me daily for weeks asking when his interview was and when I would politely explain he had no financial experience for the role he would rant on about how he was a fast learner.”
(Source)
Mother Knows Best
“I hired for a retail store, plenty of teenage applicants looking for first jobs. While going through applications, I came across one written in flawless cursive. The applicant was male, so not gonna lie, this was sort of surprising. His answers to questions and availability were just what we needed, so I called to offer him an interview. He had no idea what I was talking about. His mom had picked up, filled out and submitted the application without his knowledge. He didn’t end up getting hired.”
(Source)
Knight of King Arthur’s Boardroom
“My boss has a story about receiving a resume written as a narrative, from the point of view of someone in a castle watching the storming of the Bastille. The applicant would describe a scene and say how that was somehow representative of some standard office job skills. ‘Fiery projectiles fly overhead. I take note of this using my keen observation skills and Microsoft Word proficiency.’ I don’t know. It was a data entry job. They didn’t get hired.”
(Source)
Buffering
“I have two favorite things I’ve seen on resumes. ‘Accept MOST cultures and beliefs’ I found it just a little weird he would even put it on there. For a Web Developer job, a link to a website the guy had made. A black background with a single picture and several buttons which didn’t work.”
(Source)
Too Much
“Scented paper and a bunch of pictures of her doing yoga. Her resume was 6 pages long. It um… I guess it stood out. Did not get the job.”
(Source)
Person of the Year
“Used to be in charge of hiring interns. Can’t tell you how many resumes I saw that said ‘Achievements: TIME Person of the Year 2006.’ So, so overdone. FYI: In 2006, Time said that ‘you’ were the person of the year. Because ‘In 2006, the World Wide Web became a tool for bringing together the small contributions of millions of people and making them matter.'”
(Source)
Prom King
“Not a hirer but was told of this by my manager. A guy who applied to be a security officer at the casino I work at put on his resume that he was prom king in high school. He ended up being super cool and a great worker, and we call him the prom king to this day.”
(Source)
Beam Me Up
“I once received a resume that had a YouTube link at the bottom with no note. I opened it. It was a video of her drunkenly reviewing a Star Trek: The Next Generation episode. No explanation. She was not qualified and thus didn’t get the job but I sooo wanted to interview her.”
(Source)
Overbearing Boyfriend
“I was working retail and was an assistant manager. Sometimes I did interviews, but not often. This guy came in with his girlfriend or wife and handed me her application. I started to ask her some questions and he answered every one of them. I flagged down my manager and he asked some questions. He answered every question and she would chime in, but didn’t really say much. We didn’t offer her a position, but I was always kind of curious what exactly was going on there. I didn’t get a good feeling from them.”
(Source)
Praying For A Job
“In the first paragraph of her cover letter she stated ‘Three words that describe me: caring, brilliant, and dedicated.’ Further down after stating why she wanted the job she wrote ‘I know that God will never forsake me and through his divine grace I can conquer any goal.’ Now I am a religious person, but it is such a strange thing to write in a job application. It was a position within government too, so it’s our job to be secular on the job.”
(Source)
Think Outside The Xbox
“Not HR, we just got hold of the CV before the manager did. ‘Achievements: 3640 gamerscore on Xbox.'”
(Source)
Glamorous Application
“I had a resume that was printed on pink paper, the lady’s glamor shot on the upper corner, and some kind of perfume on it. Recently received a resume with emojis and logos for the companies that he worked for as bullets. A long time ago I reviewed an application that had the following- Position – Ass. Man. Reason for leaving – Chicken all day (he worked at a fried chicken establishment). Job duties – Skin the bone.”
(Source)
Momager
“Somebody had listed their experience as ‘CEO of the Family,’ and tried to pass of their experience as a stay-at-home mother as legitimate qualifications for a senior director in the federal government when we asked ‘Do you have experience managing, supervising, and evaluating performance of human resources,’ and ‘Do you have financial management experience, including conducting expenditure estimates and budgetary reviews.’ Sorry, raising your child does not qualify you to supervise and manage a directorate of 50+ people, and planning and budgeting your family vacation to Disneyworld is absolutely not financial management ‘experience.'”
(Source)
Mother-Son Interview
“The cringiest thing I ever saw wasn’t actually on a resume. I remember this 21 year-old ‘kid’ (he was a grown adult male) and his mother showed up to submit an application at the restaurant I worked at. She did all of the talking, answered nearly all of the questions, asked her own questions about the job to see if it was a good fit for her son, etc. Apparently, he liked to cook at home so she was trying to get him a job in a kitchen. I felt really bad for the guy.”
(Source)
One Step At A Time
“Not in HR but the worst I’ve heard of is someone mailing a shoe with their resume to ‘get a foot in the door.'”
(Source)
Take A Look
“A girl attached a picture of herself. Wearing a showy bikini. Even for advertising that’s low.”
(Source)