Pizza delivery drivers see some pretty weird things and these awkward situations just prove it...
"In my first month delivering pizzas as an awkward teenager in suburban San Diego, I pulled up to a house and got out, toting 5 pizzas to the door of a very unassuming house. As I approached the door, I could see someone turn off the lights to the front room and I got a bit scared. I had heard the stories of drivers getting jumped and robbed of their tip money so instantly my mind goes to that. I walk slowly to the door and ring the bell. After a few seconds I hear somebody behind the door ask, "How old are you?" I answered, "Pizza Hut..." Then I heard some muffled laughing. The woman again asks, "How OLD are you?" Reluctantly, I answer, "eighteen?" The door opens slowly and a woman is standing there completely naked with her hands outstretched. My jaw must have hit the ground. Then a flash of light from a camera behind her and a room full of guys bursts into laughter. Turns out it was a bachelor party. I got a good laugh but never did see the pic that was taken."
"Not so much awkward as scary but whatever. I'm a girl and when I was delivering pizzas I was around 18-19, pretty scrawny looking thing. Anyways, I had a big delivery to a guy's party in his apartment.
The apartment was on the top floor so after hauling about 10 pizzas up three flights of stairs I looked considerably frazzled.
The guy opens the door and there's about 15 men in the apartment and he says I should come in and put them down on the table. Now, I know better than to just enter people's houses but this table was right near the door and there was no way I was going to be able to take the cash with three pizza bags draped over my arms so I take one step towards the table and hear the door slam shut behind me.
He locks the door and says, "we got one," and all these guys start snickering and although it turned out to be a joke (albeit, not a funny one) it was one of the most terrifying moments in my life."
"I've delivered pizzas for 8 years. I've seen it all. People f------, people doing drugs, naked people, people arguing...you name it, I've seen it. But to this day by far the most awkward thing for me is when the little kid answers the door and just stares at you. Just stares with those beady little kid eyes like they're just looking deep into your soul. And then the parents finally realize that you have their dinner and then they have to look around for money for 5 minutes while this tiny little child is just giving you this stare down to end all stare downs, their eyes never wandering. The parents finally find the d--- money and come to the door and they're all like, "Oh Johnny did you say hi to the nice man?" And the stare continues."
"I delivered to one house just as a massive storm was ending. Rain was still pouring off of this woman's roof. Her small child was staring at me through a screen door and she was running around looking for money.
I met the child's stare with my own. Neither of us blinked. We were locked in a deadly struggle for dominance. She stared. I stared. Deadlock.
I reached out my hand and cupped it beside me, just under the roof. Water filled my palm. Her gaze only wavered slightly. I brought my hand back into view. I raised it, aiming right for her. She cracked a smile. I tossed the water at her, showering her with what little hadn't already run down my arm.
She burst out laughing. Just then her mom came into view and was none the wiser.
I miss stuff like that at work. Just the moment. Sharing that spontaneous moment with another human being, tiny and unfinished though they may be. I miss those little unexpected moments in my current office job."
"Girl answers the door, and yells to her sister, "your boyfriend's here." She comes running down in her bra and underwear. Gets to the door sees a confused looking pizza guy so she screams and runs away while yelling profanities at her sister.
The sister loses it laughing and gives me a $8 tip. Solid deliver 10/10 would deliver again."
"My first day, first delivery ever. It was to a motel 6. The guy answered wearing red pumps, a purple and black kitty cat thong, and a pink felt blouse. Told him I liked his purse and walked out with a $20 tip."
"I showed up to deliver a pizza on a hot summer night and the guy who ordered it was passed out flat on his back in the living room just inside the screen door. The TV was blasting so loud he would have had a hard time hearing me knocking and shouting even if he hasn't been unconscious. After about a minute he stirred, got himself up and paid. I think he intended to give me two tens and a one for the $18 pizza, but he was so out of it he gave me two twenties and a five, $27 tip."
"I work for Dominos in Glasgow, and we deliver to this especially shite block of high-rise flats known as Kennishead. The average inhabitant of this area is adorned with Adidas trackies, trainers and a cap with the label still on. We're not allowed to go up the lifts in the buildings anymore because so many drivers have been robbed; at least if we stay in the lobby we get the chance to make a run for it.
Anyway, I'd called the customer down from the intercom outside the flat, stepped into the lobby. The lifts usually take 5-10 minutes to make it down because some c--- has always gone and dragged their knuckles up and down the buttons for every floor.
This provided ample time for a questionable wee guy and his even younger-looking girlfriend to approach me. I doubt either of them were much past 16, and the girl seemed pretty boozed up. The awkwardness began upon the generous request, "Oi, gies some pizza, she might gie ye a blow."
It was difficult to maintain composure at this point, and it must have been evident on my face. The girl reassured me; "It's awrite, a'll eat the pizza after."
Doing my best not to offend (knife crime is pretty rife in such areas), I politely declined. The following 5 minutes of waiting seemed to last a lifetime. I mean it really was hideously awkward, they just stared at me. Finally I hear the ping of the elevator and a middle-aged woman steps out. To my surprise, the woman called the kids over and they started chatting. Pretty sure it was their mum. I hurriedly parted with the pizzas and got the f--- out of there."
"I delivered to this house, rang the doorbell, knocked, and was about to give up, despite hearing the television. I decided to bang the door louder, and finally heard the customer yelling. He finally answered and insisted that I come in. This is against policy, just so ya know. I step in, and I see what looked like a soap opera on the largest television I had ever seen. Had to be 70 or 80 inches. Then BAM! Sex scene, I was stunned. The guy, who was barely wearing tighty whiteys, I don't know how I didn't know. Started screaming and trying to explain about letting go while the wife was gone. I didn't hear much as I ran out the door. He paid and apologized, and insisted that I go back in. I appreciated the tip, but didn't go in. I just took the money and he already had the pizza, I left it when I ran. I had to go back the next week, and his wife was home alone. She let me know that she was alone, he was out of town, and propositioned me. I declined, another tip, and told the boss never again."
"I had to fight a guy off after delivering a pizza. He was very drunk and thought I was a taxi so he kept on trying to get in my car. I literally kicked him out of the passenger side and sped off into the night passenger door open until the next hard right."
"Forgot a bottle of soft drink once... told them to give me a minute, jumped into my car, drove aroudn the corner to the store, bought a bottle of soft drink, returned."
"Once had a delivery to a house that was in one of the rich neighborhoods. I pull up to the house, drive down a long-a-- driveway, and when I finally get to the door, I see an envelope taped to it. There is nothing written on it except "Domino's" on one side, and "leave on doorstep" on the other. Inside is enough money to cover the pizza and a $10 tip. I look around kind of awkwardly, before setting the pizzas on the doormat, and putting the money in my pocket. While I'm walking back to my car, I turn back around to look at the house, and lo and behold, the pizzas are no longer on the doormat. I didn't hear a door, and it hadn't been but 4 or 5 seconds since I had turned around. I also notice as I was getting back in my car, that there were cameras all around the perimeter of the house on the walls, painted the same color as the house to blend in. I drove away and not a single f--- was given."
"Not exactly awkward- but this happened about a month or so ago: It's about 3:30am on a friday night and I'm on my last delivery of the night. 2 larges, with a total of about 31 dollars. After knocking for about 2 minutes, this guy, shirtless, armed with some dry puke on his shoulder, stumbles to the door and opens it. Immediately, he starts tilting forward, like he's gonna blow chunks all over me. He turns it into a loogie, turns around, and spits it off the front porch, and starts reaching for the pizzas. "31 bucks, man" I say "Oh s---, right, I gotta pay you," he says. So, he disappears into the house for a good 5 minutes, I check reddit, he comes back with a 20. He hands it to me, reaches for the pizza boxes again, and I say "31 bucks, man.." he says "can I just get one for the twenty bucks?" and I explain that I'll have to call the store and ask them what they want me to do. He disappears into the house for yet another 5 minutes, only for him to stumble back to the door and yell "JUST TAKE IT" and slam the door. So, I made 20 bucks and got 2 free pizzas."
"I can remember two customers that it was always awkward to deliver to. One was a lady so fat that she couldn't breathe without making a rasping noise. Most of the time she was sleeping on the couch when I arrived, and sometimes I had to enter her house to wake her up because she was such a heavy sleeper. The worst part, though, was that she never wore anything more then her underwear. I avoided looking anywhere near her when I could.
The other was an old lady who was insane from drug use and was even more unattractive than the obese lady. She often had various younger men around and several times they were having sex when I got there. Whenever she didn't have a man around she would invite me in. I don't remember any specific conversations I had with her, but I remember she said some pretty crazy person stuff, and I felt really uncomfortable being anywhere near her. Luckily she stopped ordering pizza after a while because she owed my boss money."
"I was delivering 2 large pizzas to an apartment building one night. The recipient was waiting for me in the lobby. He was staggeringly drunk. Throughout the exchange he was vehemently trying to get me to come back up to his unit with him. I am not sure if he was gay or wanted to kill me and wear my skin, either way I refused. It took way longer than it should have to deliver 2 pizzas and when he finally got to paying, he just handed me $100 bill for the $30 order. He insisted I keep the change and may have winked at me as he said it. I am not positive on the wink though as he was so drunk his eyes were not totally coordinated.
My manager insisted I make an effort to return the absurd tip but attempts to contact him the next couple days were unsuccessful."
"I was delivering pizza in an apartment complex that was largely Hispanic population. I was trying to find a building number when some guys sitting outside in lawn chairs and drinking beer waved me down. They asked how much it was ($50+ IIRC) and paid for the pizza plus a nice tip.
30 minutes later an angry customer calls the store asking where their pizza is. It took me only a moment to realize what happened. Pretty smart idea, really."
"I once delivered to an apartment where two people in bath robes answered the door, I could see their bondage equipment and garments under their robes."
"When I was a pizza delivery driver in college, I took a delivery to these 2 girls that were living together in an apartment. One of them answered the door and we started the settle-up process when all of the sudden this puppy starts running down the hallway behind her, bolting for the door. The second girl pops out right behind the puppy running after it and the first girl catches it, and when she did the 2 girls start mercilessly beating the s--- out of the puppy. I yelled at them to stop and asked them what the heck was going on, and they told me that the puppy was completely unruly and that beating it was the only way to get it to stop acting up.
I knelt down and started petting the dog, and within 2 minutes I get the puppy to sit on command. The girls are shocked, and I look up at them and explained that the puppy wasn't without hope, that it just needed someone who had the patience to work with it. They explain to me that they're both in college and working and that they don't have any time, and that's when I asked them if they even wanted the dog. After a couple of moments the girl that answered the door finally answered, "uhh not really".
I ended up coming back to their apartment after my shift, and took the dog home with me. 6 weeks later I found the puppy a permanent home with a young couple that had recently bought a house. And even though I was also in college and working... the dog knew how to sit, lay down, shake paws and was potty-trained."
"I occasionally had to deliver to a motel 6. As I pulled in there were cop cars everywhere. F--- me, don't be the person who ordered pizza. Don't be the person who ordered pizza. F--- me it's definitely the guy. We locked eyes. He was in cuffs, turns around says something to the cop. The cop grabs money off the dresser, I give him the pizza. Decent tip."