Servers see the absolute worst in people and sometimes, there's no better way to respond than with sweet, sarcastic comments. These servers share the one-liners and acts of paybacks they did to the absolute rudest customers they ever met.
*Content has been edited for clarity.
Complaining Really Ages You
“I work at Arby’s, and one time, a woman in her mid thirty’s came in, and started being extremely rude, complained about everything, and called us all horrible names. I gave her the senior discount. She didn’t say a word afterward.”
This Bartender Would Ruin This Rude Customer’s Date
“I’m a bartender. This guy used to come into my bar late at night, always with a different woman. He was incredibly rude, (a money waver and yeller and just all around jerky guy), so I waited until he brought in a girl that was especially attractive and then casually asked him if he could thank the girl that he’d brought in the night before because she ‘tipped me really well.’ His date left without him about half an hour later.”
A Hot Cup Of Revenge
“My fiancée works at a diner and had a regular who was a total see-you-next-Tuesday. She’d be rude, tip horrendously, and once even made her cry. One day, my fiancée got fed up and decided to do something about it. This lady always ordered coffee, so she took off her sock at the end of her double shift and stewed it in water all night. The next day, she used that water to make this lady’s coffee. No other customers were harmed with sock coffee.”
He Got His Sausage Pizza Alright
“I used to make pizzas. Once, we had a customer order for delivery on a busy Friday night a small sausage pizza. Just sausage. Delivery guy takes the order, returns with the pizza – customer said not enough cheese. Ok, whatever, we remake the thing and add extra cheese. Off it goes again. Delivery guy again returns with it; this time there’s too much sausage AND too much cheese. My boss decides to personally remake the pizza. This time he slops a crapton of cheese on there (more than before) and arranges the sausages in…yep…a big ol’ man ‘sausage’ on the pie. He then uses sliced bits of pepperoni to spell out ‘Eat Balls, on the house’ above and below the glorious junk made of sausage. We all think it’s ingenious. He hands it to the delivery guy and says ‘No charge-this one’s on the house.’ That was a good day.”
Screw You Dean
“I’m an ex-barista and whenever someone was a jerk to me, I would just make their coffee a decaf. But my real joy came from screwing around with one customer in particular. Every. Single. Day.
We’ll call him ‘Dean.’ Dean used to come in twice a day, and order three extra-hot triple grande lattes. Same thing every day. He was a jerk. Always mean to the new guys, freaking out if they didn’t get his order exactly right, always complaining about our store even though he was the most die-hard ‘regular.’ He walked in like he owned the place. And the worst part was, after a while, it was like he did. The staff tripped over themselves to make sure this guy was happy. The line could be out the door, and then whispers of ‘Dean is here!’ would be echoed throughout the store, and making his drinks would become the store’s top priority. He was rude, didn’t tip, and yet, he was treated like royalty.
I could only resist in one small way as a 16-year-old, but I looked forward to it every day. If I was working the register, or if I was the barista asking the line for their drink orders, I would look at him with the blankest of expressions, and innocently ask for his drink order. Every day, I saw the expectation in his eyes, that I would finally remember his freaking three triple grande extra hot lattes. And then the very next day, I would ‘forget.’ He must have thought I was the biggest idiot in the world, or suffered from ’50 First Dates’-level short-term amnesia. For 2 years, he would sigh in exasperation, roll his eyes, and repeat through gritted teeth his order. And for 2 years, I would leave work knowing that I had ruined this jerk’s day. It was awesome.
Dean, because I couldn’t say it then – Screw you.”
Never Insult The Chef
“There was a guy who came into the restaurant where I worked on the waiting side, who was a complete knob. Complained about everything. He moved tables multiple times, clicked his fingers when he wanted someone’s attention until they came to the table. On top of that, he talked down to everyone and sent every course back multiple times.
It was a hotel restaurant so this went on for a week until the third night the chef got sick of him and started messing up his meals deliberately because, well, he was going to complain anyway. The chef would give him raw instead of steamed veggies, underdone steak (he ordered well done), lumpy mash, but the best of ‘mess-up’ of all was near the end of his visit with us.
He had not ordered this yet and when the check came in, the chef lit up. There was a gravy on the meal the jerk ordered, so he sent it out and it was perfect (knowing it would get sent back) – it was stunning. I know because when it got sent back without being touched, I got to eat it and the chef made another while I watched and ate the first (it was a quiet night).
He opened the grease trap above the cooker and got a nice big slimy handful and chucked it into the gravy – mixed it all in and this stuff was freaking vile. The guest ate it… still complained about it being cold but ate it.”
This Diner’s Final Swing Caused This Waiter’s Patience To Go Right Out The Window
“This guy was a regular, and also a total jerk. He would snap his fingers/yell across the restaurant to get my attention, snottily mumble orders instead of asking for things like a normal person, completely ignore me if I came to the table and he didn’t need anything, etc. The event in question was on a busy weekend. I was the only server (it was a small restaurant that only sat 40-ish people) and was running around like a madwoman because most of the tables were filled and there was one ‘big’ party (8 people) there as well. This party was seated next to jerk’s table. I admittedly hadn’t checked on his group since bringing them their food, but I hadn’t been gone long. I had a tray of plates for the big party in my hand, and as I was moving towards their table, jerkbag decided to get my attention by swinging his arm out into the aisle, catching me in the legs. I could’ve fallen, plates would’ve broken, and very hot food could’ve gone all over people, namely the little kids who were seated at the end of the table.
I put the tray down and lost it at the guy. I was quiet at first, but the angrier I got, the louder I got until I was yelling at him about how his obscenely rude, childish behavior could have seriously burned little kids, injured me, caused damage to the restaurant and potentially gotten us sued, just because he wanted a freaking refill.
To my surprise, people started applauding at the end of my tirade, I didn’t get fired that night, and Mr. Jerk didn’t really quit being a jerk, but he was certainly quieter. Given his attitude I’m surprised he didn’t complain to the owner about my behavior, but I’m not gonna complain.”
“She Was A Hero To All Servers That Day”
“I worked at a chain sports bar. The servers did everything from serving the food to bussing the table. One of my coworkers had this lady who was one of the rudest people to ever come into the restaurant. We had a wing special going on and, of course, this is what the lady ordered. When you order wings it comes in 2 boats. One boat is for the wings and the other is for the bones. This lady tried every wing sauce then ordered. After the order was brought to her, she demanded it was too spicy though she ate more than half of the wings, and requested a different sauce. She was then mad because the server did exchange what wings were too spicy for another sauce, but only the same amount that she had left to eat. The lady caused a scene with the server, then proceeded to dump her bones around the table. The server had to pick up these with her hands. So the server picked up the bones and put them in a boat, then threw them on the lady and told her, ‘Do not freaking come back!’ The server then quit that day for she knew she would be fired. She was then rehired month later. She was a hero to all servers that day.”
Don’t Anger The Delivery Driver
“Delivery Driver. Dude would tip only the change. One time the pizzas were $18.95 and he gave me a nickel for a tip. He ordered from us almost daily. All the drivers were sick of him. So next time I delivered his pizza to him, I casually handed the pizza to him upside down. He never ordered from us again.”
“We Don’t Serve Your Kind Here”
“I work at a chain pizza place in a small town, so many of our customers are regulars that visit 2-3 times a week. One such customer has been dubbed Old Grouchy Jerk Willowy Beard by our store manager. He’s probably 55-60, has a huge white Duck Dynasty-style beard, and is racist. Not casually, passively racist like most people in the South. He is incredibly, unabashedly racist.
We have one black guy on our payroll, and OGJWB won’t have anything to do with him. If he’s working the front counter, this guy will stand there and stare at the menu like no one is there until a white employee comes to take his order. Every time he orders while the black dude is there, Willowy Beard will nod toward him and ask ‘Is he gon’ touch it?’ If we say yes, he’ll just walk out.
Our store manager says we have to ‘pick our battles’ and we’re not allowed to be rude to him or refuse him service, though we all agree he’s a massive jerknozzle. One day, while the manager wasn’t there, I was working the front counter. He came in, and I just said in my sweetest customer voice ‘I’m sorry, sir. We don’t serve your kind here.’
I’m not sure what his expression was – he always wears sunglasses – but he just stood there looking at me. I just kept smiling until he called me a witch under his breath and walked out.
Now there are two people at my store he won’t talk to.”
After He Threatened Not To Tip Her, She’d Give Him The Most Passive-Aggressive Service Ever
“I worked as a server at a bar and this guy sitting in my section was a total jerk to me all night, even though I was sweet to him. After taking care of him for about an hour, I was incredibly frustrated, but still giving excellent service. Then he said something along the lines of ‘If you want a tip, you’re gonna have to do better than that sweetheart!’
Screw you, sir. If you think I’m gonna kiss your cheap behind just to get a $2 tip on your $80 tab, you’re insane. I took everyone else’s orders before his, and I brought his drinks out one at a time. Everyone else at his table got theirs first. This whole time, I’m still being super sweet to him – ‘Oh, so sorry that took awhile sir, we had to restart the computers,’ etc, so that he can’t complain to my manager about any sort of attitude. This was around 12:30 and the cutoff for ordering drinks is at 1:50 am, so I waited until 1:51 and informed him he had 9 minutes to finish his drink and leave.
Between the time he made the tip comment and 1:50, I managed to get away with serving him only 3 drinks. When 2:00 am rolled around, he wasn’t done with his drink, so I walked up to him and took it (policy). He gave me the meanest look I have ever seen and he called me a witch. I had our bouncer throw him out.”
Better Think Twice Before Taking A Bite
“I’ve worked in a restaurant for 5 years, I have no problem dealing with difficult customers that’s not a problem. But when I’m treated like a servant, ridiculed and used as a source of entertainment for the other people at your table to show how much power you have over the common man, I’ll spit in your food. And I’ve done it twice in my five years in a restaurant. It is the only thing that allows me to keep on serving your dumb butt with a smile so I don’t lose my cool with you.”
This Man’s Insults Definitely Weren’t Lost In Translation
“The KFC I work at doesn’t get a lot of business, unfortunately, so my manager understandably can’t have a lot of employees on the clock at once, especially on weekdays when it’s mostly not busy. Of course, this means that when we do get busy, we’re short on staff and can’t keep up with orders. What we usually do is simply stop taking orders until most of the orders taken have been passed out or until customers start to complain at the speaker.
Well, on one of the occasions this has happened, I had a customer go up to the speaker, in his minivan with his family and whatnot, but I had to put him on hold so I could handle my other orders. After about 3 minutes at the speaker (an eternity in fast food, I must admit) he just drives forward. I assume he’s just changed his mind or something. Whatever, right?
He drives up to my window and stops, and he asks if I can take his order at the window. I answered that that’s against the ‘store’s policy,’ since our goal is to keep customers at the window less than a minute.
He wanted to convince me to change my mind and make an exception on his behalf but like many customers, he forgets I’m just an employee and have no say in what happens in this store. I continually say, ‘I can’t I’m sorry’ in that puppy dog way that makes reasonable customers go away with a ‘Well alright then’ look on their faces. But in the end, both his attempts at convincing me and my attempts at keeping our discussion civil fail when he yells ‘FOOK YOO, hijo de tu puta madre!’ in his thick Mexican accent, in front of his kids, might I add. Just as he says this, he floors it and begins to drive away like the coward that he is. I wasn’t too bothered by it thinking I’ll never see him again anyways. I mention the situation to my manager and we exchange the ‘screw that guy’ look.
Not 5 minutes later, this is the God’s honest truth, he comes in with his daughter (I presume) to the front of the store, ready to order his meal. At this point, things have actually settled down with the lunch rush now gone, so I quickly clean up as he’s waiting behind another customer and tell my manager who he is and ask if I could please take his order.
Out of spite, hatred, and a thirst for revenge, I take his order with the most respectful, nice and enthusiastic manner possible, and I mean over the top enthusiastic. I offer him drinks, dessert, plates, forks, sauces, the whole store practically, all the while with a huge grin on my face. And to add to that I even took his order in fluent Spanish because [plot twist] I’m Mexican too, with a Caucasian complexion. So yeah, I did know what you yelled at me, you big jerk, and to reward you for that, I’m going to make you feel right at freaking home. He looked embarrassed, to say the least.
Never made eye contact.
Never said more than needed saying.
Never freaking came back.”
If These Customers Were Rude, This Worker Wasn’t Afraid To Let Them Know
“I worked at a coffee shop that served sandwiches and wraps. Whenever someone would be particularly rude or unfriendly, I would write words with the dressing squirt bottles on their bread or wraps. ‘Eat dog poop,’ ‘Screw you,’ whatever I felt like they deserved. It was harmless, but so satisfying.”
It Was The Most Satisfying “Screw You” That Couldn’t Come Back To Bite Them
“I worked as a host and back waiter at an AAA 4 Diamond restaurant, and we had a just downright terrible customer come in. She complained about everything, from the way I offered to take her coat (‘Don’t point at me’ – I wasn’t pointing) to the bread (‘It’s too yeasty’) to the free amuse bouche (‘I wouldn’t feed it to my dog and you better not charge me for it’ – right, it’s an amuse, you won’t be charged for it, and it’s a prix fixe menu anyway). She harumphed and complained about every course, called the kitchen staff idiots, argued about the costs of everything, returned the second course twice and was about to return it a third time.
Finally, the chef walks out of the kitchen, leans down at her table very politely and says, ‘Ma’am, I’m afraid we won’t be able to satisfy you this evening, so I won’t be dropping a check, but we would like you leave. At your leisure. Please let us know if we can make you a drink, and if we can make you a reservation elsewhere, we’ll gladly assist you.’
It was so polite and helpful, but also kind of a screw you, that she ended up leaving.”
This Manager Decided It Was Time For This Lady To Learn Some Table Manners
“At the Italian restaurant where I work, we often give customers who spend above a certain amount a shot of limoncello after their meal, just as a kind gesture to them. Regulars have grown to expect this.
So, we have this lady who comes in on occasion who is a pain in the butt. And I mean a ROYAL pain in the butt. She’s the kind of person who will get a table for one, strike up painfully patronizing conversation with the servers, and will make the most ridiculous requests. Her strangest was when she was having a pasta dish, she asked for some cream because this ‘tomato sauce is too tomato-y.’
Most of the times she comes in, she spends close to that threshold for the limoncello, so we give it to her.
Then, one day, it was busy as all heck. We run a 32-seat restaurant with a patio, and it was just me and a waitress that day. All our tables are taken, and we have two reservations on the way, one of whom was six family members of mine, two of whom were visiting from the other side of the country.
Then, you-know-who shows up. With three friends in tow.
She asked for a table of four. No reservation. Anybody with a functioning pair of eyes should be able to tell that there is no room for four people in this restaurant. The only available tables had ‘reserved’ signs on them.
I told her I couldn’t seat her without a reservation. Unfazed, her rebuttal was ‘But I’m a very good customer of yours.’ Like that changes anything!
I offered to seat them on the patio, since some creative maneuvering could be done to seat them. As much as this lady ticked me off, regular customers are people you always want to keep happy to some extent. Their response is ‘No, no, it’s too sunny out.’
Then, being fair to them, I offered to bring them some water, and the next four-person table that becomes available, I’d give to them. They accepted.
For the next twenty minutes, I got continuous looks of inquiry from them, wondering what is happening with their table. I paid no attention. When the table’s ready, the table’s ready.
A table was then available, and I beckoned them inside. One of them sat down, and said, ‘Oh, no, we can’t sit here, it’s way too hot over here.’ It was pretty close to our wood-burning oven, in all fairness, but really, with no reservation, how can you expect to have a choice as to where you’re sitting?
Fortunately, a two-person table opened up, and I was able to shift it around with an extra table we were using for something else. This threw off our entire layout, but at least it got the job done. I was pretty tired of their crap at this point.
Partway through their meal, they asked for three shots of limoncello. Being nice, I figured we’d probably give it to them after dinner anyway, so why not now? Normally, it’s not nice to ask for anything for free, but this stuff’s so cheap that I didn’t really care about giving it to them.
By this time, my family had gotten there, and I sat down with them for a few minutes, since I hadn’t seen the two out of town relatives for 11 years. We were past the rush by then, so taking a breather for a couple of minutes wasn’t an issue for me to do.
You-know-who decided to order a decaf coffee, which the waitress I was with that night prepared for you-know-who. Then, after it was brought to the table, she declares, loudly, ‘You know what? I’ve changed my mind. I’ll have a decaf latte instead.’ Of course, the waitress doesn’t know how to make a latte. So she calls me over, interrupting my time with my family.
Now, I was thoroughly ticked off at this lady. She not only decided to come in here expecting us to have a table for four people, on a busy day, with no reservation, but also to get selective about the table placement, not thank me even ONCE for throwing off our layout just to seat her and her friends, then ASK for limoncello (despite the table being nowhere near the per-seat threshold for it), and now this stunt about the decaf latte.
So, approaching the table and putting my happy face on, I said to her, ‘That’s no problem at all, would anyone else at the table want the decaf coffee on the house, since it’s here anyway?’ – and of course one of her friends snapped that offer up right away. I told you-know-who I’d be right back with her decaf latte.
So, I made it for her, only it wasn’t decaf – it was with a double shot of regular espresso. But that wasn’t enough revenge in my opinion. So I decided to CHARGE her, at $6.95 per shot, as it says in the menu, for each of those three limoncello shots.
The look on her face after she got the bill was priceless. But in my opinion, she fully got what was coming to her. We give limoncello as a kind gesture, so if you go abusing that, acting like you’re entitled to it, you get no kind gesture.
I haven’t seen her since. Above and beyond all else, I hope that that was a lesson to show her that she’s being a problem and that it made her a better person so that whatever restaurants she does go to now, doesn’t have to go through what she put us through.”
Kill ‘Em Kindness… And Sugar
“Killing people with kindness is what I go straight for. Either they give you dirty looks and are disappointed by the end of their stay, or they break.
Either way, I don’t have to deal with their crap.
I had a really rambunctious family come in, and the parents were extremely neglectful of their children. They ordered hot chocolates for like 5 kids, elementary school ages, after some time giving me crap about the coffee quality and how they wanted ‘better’ coffee/a new pot. In response, I gave all their children hot chocolates with a whipped cream about 3 inches high off the mug. Then got their coffee about 5 minutes later. When I finally came back to check in and give them their coffee, the kids were such a mess, so hyper, and bugging the crap out of the parents, that it was worth it.”
This Lady’s Definition Of “Rude” Didn’t Match Up With Anyone Else’s
“I was a hostess at the time and I worked in a Chinese restaurant. It was Martin Luther King Jr. day and I was the only hostess working. This family had the grandparents, the mom, and her son. We were of course on a wait and I finally got to them. I had them follow me through the crowd. I checked behind me once and I saw the mom behind me, and I thought I was good. I sat them in a big booth near the back because it was the only seat open. Well, the mom and the son followed me but the grandparents got lost in the crowd. The mom (who didn’t notice either!) complains that I left her parents behind. They catch up, everyone sits down I ask what they want to drink.
The grandpa didn’t hear me. Well, I work with people who don’t speak English well so out of habit I made a hand signal for drinking a drink and said louder ‘What would you like to drink?’ Everyone orders and he asks a question and I say oh well that questions is your waitress, she can help you with anything you need sir (I was in a big hurry but was very polite). Then the mom says ‘You are rude!’ I say ‘I’m sorry ma’am?’ She says ‘You forgot my parents, you have to signal to my father drink instead of speaking to him, you are just very rude!’
I had just had it with this lady at this point. I give her a crappy look and say ‘Oh yeah? Well so are you!’ Then I walked to my manager and told him I’m going to get complained about. She complained and he just kind of blew her off. Then not one but two separate people at different times go to my manager and tell him they heard the whole thing, the lady is just awful, and I did nothing wrong. I didn’t get in trouble and the lady got no discount.”