Your wedding day is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. Minor problems are bound to come up, but all in all, nothing is supposed to ruin your day. Unfortunately, some weddings have more than just minor issues. Some, like the ones in the following stories, have such colossal problems that it's a miracle if anyone makes it to the end of the night without a black eye or a police record.
(Content has been edited for clarity.)
The Speeches Were SO Boring
“The bride had 10 attendants, each of whom got their own song when walking down the aisle. The church was over-packed by 100 people. The air conditioning broke in July in the church (nope, nary a window to be had in 90 degrees Iowa summer). The ceremony was almost three hours long because, so many people wanted to recite poems or sing songs or whatever, and the groom’s brother gave the wedding talk and turned it into a remember when we did this blow by blow of their entire childhood.
We finally got to the (blessedly cool) reception hall. Dinner was supposed to start at 6 p.m. At 8:30 p.m., the bride fainted from lack of food; this was after another two hours of cousins and aunts and uncles giving speeches, poems, and songs – one after another. Why they didn’t do this after the food was served, I will never know.
Finally, around midnight a fight between the best man and one of the groomsmen broke out. Both of them were blackout wasted and wanted one of the 10 bridesmaids numbers; they decided to fight it out in the middle of the dance floor.”
And We Got It All On Tape!
“I’m a videographer. The bride was the product of an affair, so her father’s family and mother’s family were separated her entire life, until the wedding. It was tense from the minute I arrived and culminated in one family member attacking another with a steak knife.”
A Real Disappointment
“I had to help throw one of the groomsmen out of the rehearsal dinner a couple of weeks ago. It turns out he had gone into the bathroom and shot up. The groom’s dad found him naked in the stall beating on the wall. It took us an hour to get him out of the stall, through the restaurant kitchen (only way to avoid walking him through the dinner), and outside. I’m guessing he took his pants off to find a vein, but I’m not sure, for an hour he told us he was using the toilet as he shuffled around the stall acting like he was wiping himself it was bizarre. We did all this while hiding what was happening from the groom and bride when we finally got him out of the bathroom the bride was also coming out of the ladies room. She saw him drenched in sweat and immediately broke down in tears. Another hour goes by outside while we wait for his mom to come pick him up, she gets there, and we tell her to take him to rehab and make sure he doesn’t show up to the wedding. The groom was crying the whole wedding it was terrible.”
A Bachelor Party To End All Others
“I work at a restaurant that does wedding receptions. A couple was getting married, and the groom and his friends did a one more guys night out thing. So what they did was hire a pole dancer/lady of the night (forgot which) that would pop out of a giant cake and would be his final random wild night before he’s a family man for good.
The bride-to-be wanted to celebrate her last time as a single lady before having to be a married woman for hopefully the rest of her life. So, she decided to give it out for one more night.