Trading Spaces (In Jail)
“I witnessed this at the sheriff’s department in Reno, NV. A guy came in to post a bail for his wife. Pulling in the parking lot, he cursed out another vehicle driven by an older white-hair lady. He called her all the names in the book just because she wasn’t moving fast enough or something. The old lady just happens to be the head-nurse, beloved and cherished by all the deputies that work there, she was just coming in for work on the night shift. Next, Mr. Knucklehead decides to start yelling at the cashier who is taking the bail money.
At this point, two deputies go to see what the problem is. They decided to give him a breathalyzer. The result was a 0.12 (way over the legal limit of 0.08). They run his record and find out this was his third time driving under the influence. That means automatic jail time and revocation of the driver’s license. He literally crossed path with his wife as she was being released and he was being put away for the mandatory third punishment.”
They Were Just Catching Up But This Guy Was Looking For Trouble
“I was at a bar having some wings and meeting up with my friend Dan, who I hadn’t seen in a while. We’re sitting at the bar, having a good time generally, and my friend reaches for his drink and accidentally bumps his elbow into this guy who suddenly stepped up next to him. Even though it’s barely a tap, Dan being the respectful and polite guy he is apologizes for it. The guy he bumped went full nutjob on him, ‘Oh, come on man! You did that on purpose you’re lucky I don’t bust your teeth in, idiot.’ Dan shrugs it off and dude kinda steps away steaming.
We finish our wings up, shoot a game of pool, and then decide we’re gonna wander town for a bit and catch up. So, we step out the back door of the place and as soon as we get into the parking lot, the jerk from earlier comes out too.
‘Oh, you thought you’d get away without payback? You were wrong!’
Dan responded, ‘Look, man, I apologized, it was an accident, I don’t know what else you want me to say.’ Dan kept his cool nicely. I should note Dan is a Marine, and the reason I hadn’t seen him in a while is he had just returned from deployment.
Anyway, the jerk gets this stupid grin and picks up a chunk of concrete from the curb and starts walking towards Dan saying ‘Oh, what? Not so tough now are you?’
Dan backs up, hands at chest level repeating he doesn’t want any trouble. I’ve already got my weapon out, but not aimed at the jerk yet. But, when he kept advancing on Dan I shouted ‘Hey!’ at him. The jerk turns to me and says, ‘What’re you gonna do man? You’re gonna shoot me? Good luck buddy! You’ll get charged, for using a lethal weapon on an unarmed man!’
I told him, ‘You’re not unarmed. You’re wielding a weapon with intent.’
‘Am not! You have a weapon, I won’t go down for it because concrete ain’t a weapon! I know the laws better than you think you do!’, He yelled.
At this point, I reached back with my left hand, grabbed my wallet, and held it open to him showing him my badge.
‘Wanna try this conversation again?’
He started apologizing and freaking out while Dan called the local cops. They came pretty quick after this prick and I had agreed if he sat his butt down and kept his hands in sight I would lower my weapon as I didn’t have my cuffs on me.
When the locals came they explained he’s been doing this kind of thing since middle school.”
That’s One Way To Find Out The Truth About Your Friend
“I went to college in Wilmington, NC from 1998-2002. Directly across the street from one of the classroom buildings on the edge of campus was a bank. During the summer of 2000, it was robbed five different times, roughly every three weeks.
The robber would time the robbery so that he would get the cash and run into the UNCW building as classes were getting out. He’d pick up a book bag he had stashed and disappear into the crowd of students. Genius, it worked like a charm.
Until the day he robbed the bank and the old man dressed in fishing gear behind him in line happened to be a retired Green Beret. The old guy walked up behind him and stabbed him with his fishing knife. Not enough to kill him, but enough to make it a certainty that the robber would have to go to the hospital to attend to his wound at some point. And that’s how he was caught.
Turns out, the robber was my friend Turtle, who would drive down from Greensboro to stay with some mutual friends every three weeks. Turns out Turtle was coming in town on Thursday, robbing the bank on Friday, partying with us for the weekend, then retreating back to UNCG with his $5,000. It never occurred to us before this that the timing of the robberies coincided with his visits.”
“Ready Mode Is No Joke”
“My dad was a fireman for about forty years. Around 1992, my little sister, my dad and I were on an airplane when there was an altercation. A probably mentally ill dude had thrown a pot of hot coffee on a flight attendant. Then he started swinging something around at the other passengers. So my dad gets up with two other ‘ready mode’ passengers. I kid you not my dad knocked the dude right off his feet and about three rows backward. Out cold. They tied him up with belts and held him down until we landed. I was like like seven and totally amazed. Then something really unexpected happened to us.