There are a lot of weird people out in the world, but even their outward appearance cannot even being to compare to how they act - and live - behind closed doors. Delivery drivers, movers, repairmen, and cable technicians know this better than anyone else.
Just as the people in the following stories who recently shared the most bizarre thing they have ever seen when working inside someone's home. The stories we are about to read will shock and disgust most of us, so prepare for the filth and bizarre nature of these tales. All posts have been edited for clarity.
It Was Like Something Out Of “A Clockwork Orange”
“The strangest encounter I had was when my firm was fitting a new kitchen and bathroom into an elderly gentleman’s flat. When we walked through his living room in order to access the kitchen there was an unbearable wall of sound. He had a dozen or so TV sets all switched to different channels with the volume turned up to maximum on every one. It felt like something out of ‘A Clockwork Orange.’ He took great pride in telling me about his photographic memory and how he was able to follow the plots of every show simultaneously.
I felt sorry for the guy, seemed lonely and potentially mentally unwell.”
Even Outside The House, It Still Reeked Of Ammonia
“A dude that had at least 150 chickens (lived in a farmhouse). Okay, cool, you’re on a farm. Rock on with your bad self. Except…. 60 of those chickens lived inside. It was a total disaster. He had those grandma style clear plastic covers over all the furniture. Everything was caked in chicken poop. It was on the floor, it was on the furniture. He had a favorite chicken that slept with him. Obviously, it pooped on him a lot while he was sleeping.
The entire house reeked. He said that he was an army veteran, and that the chickens were his therapy animals. Yep, all 150 of them.
The worst part is that he had an adopted daughter that he let live like that. The daughter was away visiting relatives. When protective services showed up and told him that the kid couldn’t live like that, and he had to get rid of the chickens, he stated that his daughter could stay overseas because he wasn’t getting rid of the chickens.
Then there was the cat hoarder house where there were at least 75 cats. Some were feral and lived in the rafters of the basement. The smell was overwhelming. Cat turds on all surfaces. The house reeked of ammonia even when you were outside on the porch.
I smelled so badly after being in there for just two hours that I had to wash all of my clothing and my hair… twice. Couldn’t get the smell out of my nylon watchband and had to toss it.
She is now down to only…. 40 cats.”
There Was Only So Much His Religious Coworker Could Take
“I used to do home restoration, which was mostly mold removal under houses. My company also did vent cleaning, which required us to be in every single room of a person’s home. I worked with some real religious types, myself being a pretty open atheist.
We went to a house in the middle of nowhere where a really lovely older gay couple lived. The house was very clean, had nice art and some questionable photos of the couple in different poses. They let us eat lunch in their kitchen and even talked to us all day. My religious coworker was pretty cool, very much a ‘not my thing, but it’s ok if it is yours.’
That is until we got to the computer room. There was gay adult videos and magazines everywhere. Stacks and stacks of gay fetish magazines, highly suggestive art, and a toy shelf. The final straw straw that left me (laughing) finishing the job alone were their mouse pads. Each one was just a hunky man with a massive rod. I uncovered the junk by moving the mouse, and my co worker just threw up his hands and said it was more than he could handle.”
We’re In The Army Now
“In college, I worked as a pizza delivery person. On my first day driving solo without my trainer, this order came in, and as soon as the ticket printed, everyone groaned and started saying, ‘Not it!’ So naturally, they sent the new girl… I get to the address and it’s one of those high rise retirement communities.
When I got into the lobby and signed in, the receptionist just tutted and muttered, ‘You poor dear,’ under her breath. By that point I was a little nervous. I found the door and knocked. I heard a recliner noise and a very old man’s voice say, ‘Oh pizza’s here.’ Then the door opened.
Before me was a man with a pristine military hat stating he served in WWII, boots polished to the nines, socks so white they reflected light… and well nothing else. He was completely buff and at least 90. I blinked in shock, and he smiled so wide and thanked me for delivering the pizza all the way up on the ninth floor. He then said, ‘Oh let me get my money!’ And then turned around, bent over, and began digging through a backpack on the floor for his money. I could not only see his whole butt but his butthole too, but I’ll never forget what the back of those saggy balls look like…. never…. Thankfully he was so old his junk had receded back into his body. So I didn’t have to see that.
He finally found the money, counted out the price of the pizza in change, then counted out a $2 tip for me in change, handed it over and gently took the pizza from me. He was so happy to have that pizza… He asked me to wait a moment while he set it down and then before I could say anything or prevent it, he pulled me into a hug. ‘Thank you for my pizza. Thank you.’
Once the shock wore off, he became my favorite delivery. He would order every single Tuesday. Always at the same time. He never wore clothes. Always had the whitest socks and the most polished boots. Always wore that WWII hat. We became friends, as much as a delivery driver and a customer can. I never asked why he didn’t wear clothes. He seemed like it was the most normal thing ever and never seemed to notice or act like he should be embarrassed or that his behavior was odd, so I just went with it and acted like it was normal as well.
One Tuesday he didn’t order. We were all worried. Then the following Tuesday he ordered six pizzas. I was surprised, but relieved he was okay. I once again volunteered to take his order. Only when I got there he wasn’t the one who answered the door. Instead it was a different equally old man in a military hat and polished boots. You could tell he had been crying and he invited me in.
Sitting around the dining room table were eight other very old men. All with hats saying they were WWII vets. And in the middle was a framed picture of my unclothed man.
It was a wake. My favorite customer had died two days after my last delivery to him. The men in the apartment were the last of his war buddies still alive and they’d gathered to remember him the only way they knew how, unclothed with pizza.
It was the only time I joined a customer for lunch.
And yes, I kept my clothes on and acted like it was completely normal the entire time.”
He Was A Full-Fledged Nazi
“I used to install cable in LA in the 80s. One house we did had nothing around for half the block and a big chain-link fence around it. Just the house sitting by itself on a block in the valley. We went up to the door and my helpers noped out. I asked why and they said ‘look down.’
The welcome mat was a big swastika. I said ok but I need the money. The guy came to the door dressed in what looked like a ‘brown-shirt uniform.’ He was wearing a Luger sidearm as well. We said ‘hello.’ He proceeded to tell me he was the leader of the American NAZI Party for the West Coast. He said that my helpers could come in. I told him that they didn’t really want to. This didn’t faze him much and he proceeded to show me the TV which he referred to as the ‘Electric Jew.’ It was in his study, which was everything you might imagine it to be.
The whole house was like that. His wife was dressed in what I would describe as a German peasant dress with swastika pins on it and his son, who was about 12, had on a Hitler Youth uniform. I got his cable hooked up and he gave me a six-pack of St.Pauli Girl as a tip. He did try to give me some pamphlets but I turned them down. My helpers drank a couple of them later just to say that they drank some NAZI’s brews.
I swear that everything in that house that you could put a swastika on already had one. There were many NAZI flags and pictures everywhere. They seemed friendly enough but really devoted to being total NAZIs.”
Very, Uh, Interesting
She Was Always Asleep And Unclothed
“I used to do regular work inside this rich guy’s house. He was at least in his 50s. Big house, always three or four luxury cars in the driveway. He dressed well, spoke well if not a little to confident and forward.
He always had people in his house. Not friends, just people doing stuff, cleaners, odd job men, gas engineer, you name it, always as least two or three other people, and there was always music playing loudly. Not Jesse in ‘Breaking Bad’ loud just general music.
He had a ‘woman’ or girlfriend. No matter what time of day, she’d be in bed. Despite the noise and other people roaming around. She looked Eastern European to my untrained eye. Not that I seen her awake.
Anyway, I had to sort stuff in his bedroom/her room. Every time I was there, maybe eight times, I had to go into that room.
The first time I opened the door and saw someone sleeping, I panicked as he didn’t tell me there was anyone in bed. Went downstairs and said I had to leave that room as someone was sleeping.
Nope nope, just go in son, it’s fine.
So I went back up, it was dark but I could see her on the bed, but I needed the light to work. I apologized to the shape on the bed and opened the curtains. She was missing her clothes. Obviously I panicked again and left the room. And again he insisted it was alright.
So I again returned, just got on with the work and left. I was aware of empty bottles of red the first time. But this happened every time, no matter what time of day, passed out girl on the bed surrounded by empty bottles. I’ve been there as early as 9 am and as late as nearly 5 pm, she was always buff and passed out on that bed, never once responded to me being there, though she did move from time to time.
It was crazy.”
They Have Seen A Little Bit Of Everything
“I was doing DirecTV installs, and on my first job on my own I was tasked to install in an apartment building. I walked into this older guy’s efficiency apartment and on the wall behind his bed were pictures of big buff dudes with their anacondas descending towards earth with incredible purpose.
I’ve also been in a dirty house with a big ole jelly dong just hanging out on the bathroom sink staring at us as we delivered a bed frame.
I’ve been in houses that are so absolutely disgusting that they can be smelled from the sidewalk. One was a couple with a mentally challenged child. The inside of the house had stuff just piled against the walls. Kind of like a skateboard pipe of garbage. The house absolutely wreaked. The kid’s room was so disgusting. It smelled of old pee. It was absolutely the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen. To boot, the neighbor must smoke in their upstairs room and throw the seeds out the window onto the porch roof. There was a pot plant growing in the gutter. I went back towards the end of the summer and it was still there, poorly flowered.
Also did an install and had to get into this lady’s basement. She was a first aid professor at the college in Akron. She had 2 dogs there. When I asked to get into her basement she questioned if I really had to. It was a brick house so that was the option. She went into the basement before I went down there and with a snow shovel, pushed all the dog poop into one pile. We are talking a mound of dog poop in her basement. She told me she had been in the hospital for two weeks and that was her excuse. It was absolutely disgusting.
I have many MANY other stories. Stuff like this is far more common than anybody would recognize. Some people live in places that are absolute disasters. It always baffles me because you’d figure they’d get sick or something.”
He Fell Through The Floor?
“Lets say I install things for a large…entertainment company. Brings moving pictures by wires to one’s house.
One time, it was a bad install from the start; the customer lived on a large overgrown lot in a manufactured home, think trailer but nicer. The covered porch had a literal pile of garbage bags and such five feet tall, including a rice cooker just molding full of rice sitting on the banister. Smelled terrible. Customers wife opened the door when I knocked and I was bashed in the face with the smell of decay.
Garbage bags were everywhere, dirty dishes covered the kitchen a solid three feet high on every surface. Cat turds were ground into linoleum and half the carpet…the small bits I could see…were ripped up. I was already looking to cancel based on the abhorrent health issues in the house, but the wife was an onslaught of complaints about the service and how no one would work on her house. I was curious.
She showed me she wanted a tv outlet installed in a corner of their living room. I had her show me the location. At this point the husband came shuffling out to move the dresser they wanted the outlet installed behind. The location was in a corner behind a dresser set up so there was a triangular space in the corner behind the dresser. As he moved the dresser out, there was..I fool you not…a solid foot of cat turds filling that triangular area behind it. It had layers.
The husband tried to step in the pile to get a better hold on the dresser, but as soon as he puts weight on that foot, he falls forward as that whole section of the floor collapses around the metal frame underneath.
It came unbidden, a primal laugh at the hilarity and absurdity of the situation followed by a ‘Yep, no.’ I turned and walked out without saying another word. Called my boss, explained the situation, and had him blacklist the site. I went home and immediately stripped down in the laundry room, threw the clothes in the wash and showered…on the clock. That kind of mental illness is saddening.”
The Smell, Dead Cats, And Roaches Were Too Much
“Went to a person’s ‘home’ to fix their phone. The guy came out with a black sheen of grease on the jacket he was wearing (which I realized was due to him never changing clothes), his white beard was dark brown down the middle where dip spit had been staining it. You could smells his trailer from 50 feet away.
I walked up to the door with him and was hit with an awful smell of death, urine, and smokes. I took one step inside and on my right we’re around 10 animal crates all loaded with cats that looked dead and weren’t moving covered with roaches and black feces. The ceiling was one big cobweb. Everything in the home was stained brown. Turning to my left, his counter covered and crawling with roaches with years old dishes it looked like stacked with mold and leftover food. The phone was on the wall next to me by the door. He told me it didn’t have a dial tone and thought the jack might be the problem. It was a square jack that you stick onto a wall or baseboard, it didn’t have to be nailed in or anything.
I reached up and tried to pull the cover off, but the wallpaper came with it and hundreds of roaches spewed forth going in every direction, crawling onto the ceiling and falling off. I looked at the man and he seemed completely unapologetic or phased in anyway, so I said, ‘Hey I’m sorry but no I’m not doing this.’ I started walking out and he was asking what about my phone! I said sorry buddy but you’ll just have to get a cellphone or something else. That was the worst living house I’d ever been to.
I had another weird guy who took me into his room to fix his internet and he had two computers side by side on a desk. NOTHING was out of the ordinary except a framed picture of a 70s bush right next to his monitor. He finally realized it was there, looked back at me, turned back around to the computer and just laid the picture flat and carried on like nothing.”
“The Bad People’s Corner”
“I was doing flood restoration work, and went to a call. Sometimes you get a weird vibe from there home owner, and this was no different.
The guy tells me that the water is in the basement and points to the door. I tell him ‘You go first and show me the way’ because I’m not getting that door slammed shut behind me and becoming someone’s personal love slave.
As I walk down the stairs, I look to the left and see a KKK outfit on a mannequin, a Charles Manson clock in the wall, and WAY too much Nazi memorabilia. He notices my pause and says, ‘Don’t worry, that’s just the bad people’s corner.’
Luckily, there was almost no water damage, and I noped out of there.”
I Don’t Think There Was A Dog
“So I worked in leasing apartments in a pretty upscale community. Our asset manager (my boss’s boss’s boss) was making his annual visit, and we had asked a resident to let us show him how the new finishes on our property-wide renovation were wearing in. The resident said, ‘Sure, no worries.’
So we walk into the apartment, and everything looks normal. We discuss the new countertops, the appliances, and so on. We then pass out from the kitchen, through the living room and into the bedroom, to access the bathroom and check how the new showers were working out… And in the bedroom was a giant cage, and leather straps on the wall. We all froze – if the asset manager wanted all of our jobs, he could have them, and we’d led him into a guy’s gimp lair.
He swallowed, ‘This guy must have a big dog.’
We left it at that.”
That’s Not People Would Expect From Beverly Hills
“I worked for a year as a carpet cleaner in Beverly Hills. I was occasionally propositioned by cougars and once by a middle-aged German couple. Uh – no thanks. I’m just here to clean your carpet, not to ‘clean’ your ‘carpet.’
My favorite story isn’t raunchy nor does it involve a dirty house, but I’ll tell it anyway.
After arriving at a nice lady’s house and starting work she told me that she had to run an errand and would be back shortly. A few minutes after she left I heard a loud knocking at the kitchen door and a man’s voice call ‘milk man!’ It wasn’t my house so I ignored it. He again knocked and called ‘milk man!’ This time I shut off my machine and went to let him in, but by the time I got to the kitchen and opened the door he had left. I went back to work.
Shortly after, the lady of the house returned and I told her that while she was out the milk man tried to make a delivery. She laughed out loud and said, ‘Come with me.’ I followed her down the hallway and into the kitchen. She led me to a kitchen alcove which I had not noticed and there in a cage was a large, black myna bird. The lady rapped on the wall next to the bird and the bird, in its’ throat, mimicked the rap and said (knock, knock, knock) ‘Milk Man!’
I was dumbfounded. She then said, ‘Now watch this.’ Picking up the bird she led me back down the hallway to a bathroom. She rapped on the bathroom door, and the bird again made the knocking sound in its’ throat (knock, knock,knock) and said. ‘Johnny? You come out of there . . . . riiiiiiight now!’
“Weird” Would Be An Understatement With This People
“I installed cable for a few years. One house I had to go into the sons room to put a box in. Lying on top of his bed without any clothes playing GameBoy. He saw me. His mom was behind me. Told me they were nudists. She was dressed. So…ya…can he get dressed?
I feel like I’m about to see Chris Hansen (this was before Chris Hansen but I like the reference). Nope. Mom didn’t say anything. Kid just walked around without any clothes the entire time i was there. He wasn’t a little kid either.