Working in an office has its ups and downs. Rules are in place to prevent events that hinder work performance, but what happens when those rules are excessive and redundant? Here, employees shame their places of work and reveal absurd rules they were expected to follow.
All stories have been edited for clarity.
I Am The Exception
“I worked as a ‘meat troll’ for a very large grocery store. I was transferred from store to store as needed so I could fill in for holidays and other employees who requested time off. It was a dirty, wet, smelly job.
We were only allowed to wear dress pants because they looked more ‘professional’. These pants would tear easily, forcing me and others to buy new ones constantly. At twenty-five bucks a pair, I was so fed up with our dress code, but there was just one problem:
My supervisor forbade anyone other than himself to wear jeans. The policy only specified black jeans, but all jeans were banned. ‘Unless you’re me,’ my boss brought up constantly. ‘I am the only exception because I make the rules.’
On the second day of my second month of employment at the company, I went to my supervisor and said, ‘This is ridiculous, I have torn three pairs of dress pants so far. Tomorrow I will be wearing black jeans. I have no more dress pants or the money to buy new ones.’
Of course, my supervisor didn’t like what I had to say. He balled up his fists and said, ‘If you come outside of the dress code tomorrow, I will fire you!’
‘Not a problem, I said boldly, ‘I always have other work lined up.’
The next day I wore black jeans. Within moments of starting my tasks, I was summoned by the store manager to pay him a visit to his office. He looked them over with a nonchalant look on his face. ‘They actually look more professional than the dress pants. I’ll allow it.’
He then wrote me a slip authorizing me to also be allowed to wear jeans. ‘ A letter has been emailed to all store and meat managers about it. Have a great day!’
My supervisor was absolutely pissed, but I was covered. The ‘No black jeans’ rule eventually faded into the dust. Before I left, it changed to ‘Any Black Pants, except for Stampede, and jeans are allowed!'”
Don’t Be Late!
“I used to work in a customer service ‘cubicle farm.’ We were required to punch our time cards each morning upon arrival and each afternoon when we left. One day we got a memo declaring we would no longer be able to punch in early or late, regardless of how insignificant the time difference was.
If we arrived at 7:50, we would have to wait until 8:00 to punch in. Anyone punching in at 8:01 or later would be docked for being late. No exceptions.
This was absolutely ridiculous, considering we had over eighty people in our area and there was only a one-time clock.
If there was only one second between each person punching their card, only sixty people could punch in during that 8:00–8:01 window. Everyone else would be punished for either punching in early or having their pay docked for punching late.
When I mentioned the logistical problem to our manager, leadership passed the buck expressing they were just implementing a policy they had been given by higher-ups in the chain.
I’m not sure what prompted the new rule, but it didn’t last past the first payday when people noticed their checks were docked for being literally a few seconds late.”
You Don’t Need A Spoon For Soup
“A friend at work used to make herself a cup of instant oatmeal when she came in by using the boiling water tap. Then she would sit with the cup on her desk and have a spoonful here and there while she worked.
Everything changed when a supervisor randomly told her she was not allowed to eat at her desk.
But others in the office often had their own mugs they sipped. Pointing this out, she asked, ‘Why can’t I have a cup at my desk but everyone else can?’
The same supervisor scoffed and said, ‘Well, those workers are drinking coffee, tea, and hot chocolate. That is different because it’s not food. It’s a drink.’
‘But if you look, some of those workers have Cup-o-Soup or Ramen noodles in their cups,’ my co-worker argued. ‘Isn’t that food?’
The supervisor’s response only confirmed his superiority complex.
‘Well, yes, that was food, but it didn’t need a spoon,’ He said with a serious look on his face.
That’s right. He said people could drink ramen noodles or instant soup without a spoon, but because oatmeal required you to lift it to your mouth with a spoon, it wasn’t allowed. Mugs without spoons? Ok. Mugs with spoons? Verboten.
I would have just made my oatmeal with more water so that I didn’t need a spoon, but my co-worker went to HR and complained.
HR told her she could only have food at her desk, with food being defined as needing to be eaten with a utensil if she had a medical condition that required her to eat throughout the day.
So, my co-worker got her doctor to write a note confirming she had low blood sugar and required food at her desk.
Can we all just take a moment here and realize how ridiculous this is?”
What A Load Of…
“I work for a fortune 50 company.
One day I was called into a meeting with management and HR because someone filed a complaint against me for ‘creating an offensive work environment.’
My offense?
I had a rubber dog turd on my desk.
It was a birthday gag gift from my brother-in-law.
If anything it was just a fun little toy I kept on my desk. We sometimes used it as a joke in meetings. We would put it on the table, spin it and whoever the part of the blob pointed at was the person that got selected for whatever task we were discussing.
The person who filed the complaint knew good and well it was a fake turd, but they claimed they were offended every time they walked past my desk and saw it.
I didn’t even work with this person. They just saw it on my desk and were apparently offended by looking at fake poop.
I was informed that since someone found it offensive, I had to remove it from work or face disciplinary action.
For a rubber dog turd.
I said I would comply, but I also asked to file my own complaint. I told HR I felt offended by Diet Pepsi, so that had to be removed from the work environment.
The representative from HR shrugged and said, ‘Well, that’s different.’
‘How,’ I asked. ‘Two things that some person arbitrarily deem offensive should be treated the same way.’
Again, HR said my claim was different without any clarification.
I agreed to remove the turd, went back to my desk, called a friend of mine who worked in a different department, and asked if they were looking for any help. He said yes, so I left that office.
And brought my dog turd with me.”
We Are All In This Together
“I was working for a bank that provided free coffee and tea in the break room. Everyone also admired the plants in the offices that were cared for by an outside vender.
During my second year, a memo circulated stating there would no longer be free coffee and tea. It also said the plants in the offices would be removed. This news was not well-received. In fact, the president of our division flew out from New York to the LA office to inform us that the changes were real. Although he was trying to fight it, nothing could have been done. So, we were all in this together.
Shortly after his visit, we had to attend a mandatory half-hour video presentation in which employees nationwide looked at the camera and declare, ‘We are (company name),’ as one big happy family.
Now it’s important to note that the coffee was not very good. I don’t know about the tea. For me personally, having a plant in the office was not important. But these were benefits that we had when I started there which were now being taken from us. We had to adjust. After all, we were all in this together.
Except we weren’t. That year the CEO received a fifteen million dollar bonus paid for.
And what funded this bonus?
I guess the savings came from the ‘much needed’ cut of free coffee and greenery maintenance.
So much for us being part of a company that treats us like family.”