There’s no better way to earn money without a degree than working in the restaurant industry. In fact, it’s how many students pay for college these days. However, by the time you leave the industry, you’re bound to have learned a few helpful life lessons you could only learn on the job, as well as a host of those you wish you hadn't.
You sweat more on the job than you do at the gym.
During the summer, you have to bring an extra uniform for that mid-shift sweat emergency.
You can carry at least three full glasses in one hand (and several more empty ones).
This is the mark of the server. Anyone who can't is just pretending.
You’ve heard every lame dad joke in the book, and they’re still not funny.
“I’d like my steak still mooing please!” “Oh I thought everything was on the house tonight.” STOP IT! JUST STOP!
People who snap or whistle to get your attention do not get good service.
They weren't going to tip anyway.
It doesn’t matter what your name tag says. No one reads it anyway.
Even though you say your name at the beginning of ALL service, “hey you” just sounds so much more appropriate for some reason.
The customer is ALWAYS right (even when they’re not).
This can depend on what type of restaurant you work for. National chain restaurants are more likely to blame their server for everything that goes wrong, but family-owned businesses can always tell an unruly customer to f*** off.
Phone numbers, coupons, Bible pamphlets, and pocket change DO NOT qualify as tips.
You don’t date cheapskates, that coupon is expired, even Jesus was sold out for 30 pieces of silver, and unless you can do laundry with that change, it’s totally useless. Thanks for nothing.
Your local 3:00 bar is the only establishment that understands you.
You don’t get off until at least 1:00 A.M. every night, and lord knows you need a drink. Where else are you supposed to go?
Your entire life is one big double-shift.
And no one wants to pick it up for you.
You’ve learned to give your customers sparkling reviews of menu items that you’ve never even tried before.
If you have to ask what part of the animal a "riblet" comes from, you probably don't want it.
That goes double for alcoholic beverages.
You don’t make enough money to try the $12 super-platinum-ultra-perfect-top-shelf-presidente margarita. Best guess: it tastes like regret. Order a whiskey instead.
The chefs can be your best friend, or your worst nightmare. Treat them with respect.
These people make your money, you just collect it. They control the quality of the product as well as how fast your table's food comes out. Do what you can to make their life easier and they’ll be sure to return the favor.
You have to hide like bigfoot whenever you get your hands on dead food
Because EVERYONE is going to want some. It's worse than bringing a pack of gum to class.
“Clopen” is a dirty dirty word, and you should wash your mouth out for saying it.
For those that don't know, "clopen" is a term that refers to working a closing shift one night and then opening the restaurant the next day. Accordingly, your face always looks like this.
The freezer is a great spot to hide from responsibility.
Too bad it's so damn cold in there, or you'd probably lock up and have a nap.