Sure, kids are adorable, but they can also be extremely weird when they want to be. These 21 kids are all the proof you need.
What Do You Even Say To That?
I heard loud music coming from my three-year-old son's room upstairs. When I yelled for him the music stopped and he appeared in the hall, wearing only underwear, sunglasses and a second pair of underwear on his head. "What, Dad?"
Like Father, Like Son
When I was a kid I was afraid that if I came inside to use the bathroom I wouldn't get to go back outside, so I would poop in the yard. Fast forward 20+ years: I caught my 3-year-old son pooping by our AC unit. When I asked why he said, "I don't want to go inside yet!"
He doesn't know my story. That means it's genetic, right?
“I found her hunched over like Gollum…”
My toddler went quiet for a moment while I was in the kitchen, and I went looking because I'm not stupid. Found her hunched over like Gollum under the dining table eating a banana, skin and all (and I have no idea how she got it).
Big Sis Is Just Looking Out For Her Potentially Murderous Little Bro
I've caught my three-year-old standing over her baby brother at one in the morning. She was making sure he "didn't climb out and kill everyone" even though A) he can't even walk yet and B) he has no reason to go on what would probably be the world's most adorable killing spree.
Who Says Cleaning Products Can’t Be Edible?
I walked into the kitchen one day to see my 4-year-old son cleaning the counter with a piece of ham. He then went over to the sink, washed off the piece of ham and then started to eat it.
“Maybe it was Grandma…”
My 3-year-old took a poop in a pillowcase and folded it up into a small square before tucking it under her pillow. She said she didn't do it. "Maybe it was my grandma or maybe the dog?"
Someone’s Got A Thing For Belly Buttons
My 2-year-old son will lift my shirt just enough to see my belly button when I'm sitting on the couch, stick his finger in my belly button and just sit there like it is completely normal. If I try to remove his finger he just puts it back. No idea why.
That’s Not Water
Walked into the backyard to find my two baby brothers with their
The Terrifyingly Happy Sleep-Walker
When my son was young, he would sleep walk a lot. There was one really weird instance in particular when we woke up to a noise and could not find him. We called out his name many times, but he never responded. I found him in the bathroom, behind the door. I asked what he was doing…he just smiled and went back to bed.
Flossing Isn’t Always Good For You
I caught him putting my flossers under his foreskin, then putting the flossers back in the bag. How many times did I floss my teeth with my 3-year-old's
Who Needs Shampoo When You Have Juice?
My daughter, who's five, took a sip of juice from a straw, spit it into her hand, and then proceeded to rub it into her hair like it was hair product or something. Right after I'd given her a shower. Why?
The Kid Who Thinks He’s A Dog
When my brother was 6 months old, my mom taught him how to bark (she was teaching him animal noises). That night, he put a blanket over his head and barked at the wall for fifteen minutes straight.
“My son had a mudflap obsession…”
My son had a mudflap obsession. Like seriously obsessed with them. He felt bad for those who didn't have them on their vehicles. And if his toy cars and trucks didn't have them he would make them out of Post-it notes.
Disgusting, But She Probably Has A Great Immune System Now
My daughter would thoughtfully, slowly, and repeatedly lick the floor.
“I’m shocked at his ability to stay completely composed while serving as his brother’s fire hydrant…”
My two boys were in the bathtub and the 6-month-old started
“Wherever this kid goes, it’s gonna be a party…”
Walked into my three year old's room to find him seated at his toy piano, buck
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R.I.P. Mr. FunALug
My 3-year-old brought me a slug and told me it was "Mr. FunALug" then she threw it into a bonfire and as she was staring at its burning corpse she said Mr FunALug is dying.
“I found liquid all over their train table…”
My sons were playing in the basement before lunch one day, and while they were eating I went to go check the laundry and found liquid all over their train table. Upon further investigation I discovered it was urine. When pressed, the 2-year-old admitted that he had peed on everything because his brother wasn't letting him play….
A Future Scientist
Caught my son trying to stick batteries up his
That’s One Way To Ruin A Party
My friend's son, who was 3 at the time, was at my 30th birthday party. During a relatively quiet moment, and in an ominous voice, he loudly announced "dark clouds are gathering…."
The Changing Tent
Not a parent, but this one's about me. I hear this story nearly every holiday. When I was 5 years old some family friends were over for Christmas and brought me a little tent as a gift. They set up the tent in the middle of the living room for me to play in. So, naturally, I promptly went inside and took off all of my clothes. I came out
My parents screamed at me to get back in the tent and put my clothes on. So I went back in, but I didn't put my clothes back on. No, I had a much better idea. Instead, I came back out, jumped into the same stance and loudly inquired, "How do you like it noooooooowwww?!"