Why do all the marketers think that in order to sell any kind of scented product to men it must be called something like "Bearglove" or "Pinewoodhawk?" I don't know what a bearglove is or what it smells like, but I reckon it's not good.
Manly hands require…
“I once bought hand lotion for men. It was just normal hand lotion in consistency, except my hands smelled like Axe Body Spray. Pretty nasty.”
Macho tastebuds require…
“The other day I went to the store and saw ‘marzipan for men’… marzipan by itself just isn’t manly enough, huh?”
Large hairy man-bodies require…
“Yoga pads for men. I saw an ad online a year or so ago about some bloke selling them. They were just foam camping mats, but they had prints of wood or brick or some sh*t FOR $150.”
Super studly doctors and nurses require…
“Used to worked behind the counter for Clinique in a department store. The ‘For Men’ scrubs is exactly the same as the women’s except it’s just in a manly gunmetal grey tube and not pastel green.”
Hunky men like Fabio require…
“As a man with long hair, why are men’s hair ties even a thing? The website www.menshairties.com says that “a portion of all profits got to an organization focused on ‘men’s health.’ That sounds so shady. What organization? For all we know it could be ‘Men’s Health’ magazine.”
Hard-working men who work up a manly thirst require…
“Remember when Dr. Pepper changed their marketing campaign inexplicably to present Dr. Pepper as a manly drink for men? What were they trying to accomplish there? Reverse psychology where women all buy the product as a f*ck you to the commercial? Or were they legitimately concerned that not enough men were drinking Dr. Pepper?”
Beefcake life guards require…
“I saw ‘sunscreen for men’ once. Because apparently regular sunscreen is too feminine?”
Manly bodily fluids require…
“One of the worst men’s products I’ve seen are Kleenex tissues for men…why do men need bigger ‘mansize’ tissues? I think we all know what Kleenex is implying here.”
Rock-hard man abs require…
“My boyfriend has this Adidas body wash for men and it says PROTEIN on the bottle. Does rubbing protein body wash on yourself make you more manly?”
Muscular man legs require…
“Meggings or men’s leggings. They just look like fancy long johns.”
Manly appetites require…
“We bought some Kumato tomatoes that had a sticker on them that said, “2014 award for best foods for men” from ‘Men’s Health’ magazine. I’m not sure what’s weirder: that there’s an award for a tomato “for men” or that it was from 2014 and it’s now been nearly two years since they won the award.”