We can't believe what these teachers put up with in their classrooms! Educators get no respect these days.
This Teacher Had The Most Hilarious Comeback
"In 9th grade we were reading the 'Odyssey,' and my British teacher read aloud the line from the scene where Odysseus stabs the cyclops and blood 'spurted forth like a geyser.' Except he pronounced it like 'geezer.' Being the smart-ass I was, I said, 'No, Mr. Cullen, it's pronounced geye-zer. You're a geezer.'
Without batting an eye, he spat back, 'Your mother's a geezer.' The entire class LOST it."
No One Should Ever Talk Like This
"I went through a period where I would use a lot of shortened words. For example, I'd say things like, 'pass me that soc ball,' instead of soccer. Or, 'I can't find it in the encyclo.' I thought I was pretty f*cking cool until I asked my English teacher, 'Can I borrow your dic…shunarry.' Yeah…I stopped doing that."
Teachers Can Dish It Out Too
"Kid in my old middle school once asked a teacher if she had kids. She responds no, and he says, 'I could fix that' with the douchiest smirk I've ever seen. Teacher then tells him she doesn't want to adopt him with the second douchiest smirk I've ever seen."
Where Was This Teacher When We Were Struggling Through Math Class?
Teacher: Did you just tell me to be quiet and then say f*ck?
Me: No, I was trying to solve the proof and messed up. I started to say sh*t but f*ck just seemed more appropriate.
Teacher: Yeah, I've been there…."
Someone Is A Big Momma’s Boy
"I've called a teacher 'mom' on more than one occasion."
We’re A Little Worried That The Teacher Understood A Reference To A Pornographic Film
"In math class my teacher said, 'Today, we're going to watch a movie.'
I responded with, 'What is it, Debbie does decimals?' I guess the teacher knew what I was referring to and I was sent to office. My parents thought it was hilarious when they were called."
This Teacher Really Should Have Stopped Her Student’s Presentation On Cock Fighting
"At my school we did this thing called the Culture Fair. Picture a science fair but held by the Language Department. One kid decided to do his report on cock fighting. His goal was to never say the words 'rooster' or 'chicken.' He created a long powerpoint and a large poster board about cock fighting, each with the titles "The Duel of Cocks." When the young female teacher tried to correct him during his portion on proper fighting etiquette, he asked her, 'Ms. Teachersname, what do you know about handling cocks?' He ended the presentation with the line, 'Now that's one big cock.'"
Mom Jokes Do Not Belong In The Classroom
"My algebra teacher said, 'Take it from me, you want to pay attention right now.'
Without thinking I blurted out, 'Your mom took it from me.' The teacher stared at me for what felt like a solid 10 minutes before continuing on with the lesson."
Well That’s A Disgusting Request
"'Hey, Mr. Finn. Could I take a dump in my locker?' (I meant to ask if I could drop off my books at my locker.) He looked at me oddly and waved me off."
The English Language Fascinates Us All
"In the 6th grade I heard the word 'dildo' in the hallway on my way to English class where we received an assignment to write a short narrative. I had never heard the word before and thought it sounded pretty cool. Fast forward 1 week, and I turned in my story featuring a heroic main character named Dildo. My English teacher was less than enthused."
High Five? More Like A Facepalm.
"In my high school video production class I was trying to be cool and as I was leaving the classroom, I asked the teacher for a high five. He responded by saying, 'I don't know where your hands have been.'
To which I said, 'Yeah, but your girlfriend does.'"
Didn’t See That One Coming!
"In my 7th grade English class we were playing one of those study games where the teacher asks you a question and two students race to write the correct answer on the board before the other person. The teacher asked something like, 'What is the literary term used to indicate what will happen in the future?'
I knew the answer was foreshadowing yet somehow I ended up writing the word 'foreplay' on the board."
Someone Really Didn’t Want To Do Their Homework
"Straight up told my female professor I had a boner to avoid answering a question on the board. Didn't even have a boner. F*ck doing triple integrals in front of 200 people."
That’s Definitely Not How You Want To End Your Last Class Of Your College Career
It was my last year of college and to celebrate our last capstone class (there were only nine students) my philosophy teacher let us bring some beer. She was really relaxed and we were on great terms. One of my classmates had some leftover candy from some other class, and she was nice enough to share with everyone else. The student asked the teacher if she wanted some and the teacher told her that she's never cared for things in wrappers.
Seconds later I said, 'I guess that's why you have two kids, am I right?' I felt very ashamed afterwards."
This Spanish Teacher Definitely Overshared
"My 6th grade Spanish teacher asked me, 'What else do I like to do?' (She said it in Spanish so I didn't quite understand the question.)
I said, 'Your husband!'
In English, my teacher responded, 'Well yes, I do like to do my husband but that wasn't the question.' The rest of class cracked up before falling into an awkward silence."
This Is The Question Everyone Needs Answered Before They Go To College
"One of my students came into class one day and said, 'Mr. Teacher, can I ask you a question about college?' Seeing an opportunity to help him prepare for his future, I said, 'Of course, student. What do you want to know?'
'Did you ever have a threesome?'"
Sometimes Even The Principal Likes To Enjoy A Good Laugh
"My teacher forgot that our class was given a different set of homework than she initially thought. I blurted out, "You got, like, Alzheimer's?'
She told me to write an essay about Alzheimer's and I asked how many pages it should be. 12. Defiant, young me accepted the challenge and got out six large sheets of paper. Then I wrote 'Alzheimer's disease' as large as possible, evenly distributed across the pages. On the last page I wrote at the bottom, 'Sorry, forgot the rest.'
My teacher was furious when I handed it in and dragged me to the principal's office. The principal heard the story from the teacher and looked through the pages. At the last page he started snickering, looked up to the teacher and then started laughing loudly. His eyes were watering up and he said, 'At least he comprehends the essence of it!' He sent me off and I never heard about it again."