Every class has it's clown, but these kids truly took it over the top!
“Found a way to change the scrolling marquee screensaver’s text. Across the network.
I have no idea how he did it, but he managed to change the screen savers across the whole school to say “My Balls Are Huge”. Which is a great start to the story.
Apparently one of the librarians saw the entire library bank of computers scrolling this, and fainted. Investigations ensued, and he was caught because he hadn’t bothered to cover his tracks or anything.
He got pulled into the office. Him, his dad, the vice-principal, and the “traumatized” librarian (and a fortunately open door to the rest of the office, hence us knowing this story). There was a long tirade about the consequences of his actions, the “distress” he had caused the poor librarian, etc. Finally, at the end of it all, he was asked if he had anything to say for himself. And he did.
“I was referring to my basketballs.”
Straight face. The vice-principal and his father both actually laughed; the librarian was enraged. And promptly told to calm herself down, by a still snickering vice-principal. He copped a whopping single day of suspension, during which his father took him out for lunch.” (source)
“During a class presentation he had his “assistant” turn off the lights. He then put a flashlight under his head so only his face was illuminated. He started saying things like “Prepare to be amazed,” “Science rules,” and “Welcome to a world of wonder.” He then paused and said “Please observe what I do with this applesauce.” The lights turned back on and he poured an entire jar of applesauce down his pants. This was a high school biology class. The teacher was in shock and I don’t think I’ll ever laugh that hard again. Just pure craziness.” (source)
I Mustache You To Take That Off
“We had a teacher, Mr A, who was very strict, very serious, very high regard for himself, very Italian. This man rocked the thickest mustache I had ever seen. Nothing “fancy,” no handlebars or waxed works of art. Just a full, glorious ‘stache that Burt Reynolds would envy.
We had been working with fun fur (thick & bushy fur) for an art project. Another kid and I jokingly made faux mustaches out of it and used double-sided tape to wear them. The art teacher, who was young and new to the profession, kinda-sorta dared us to wear them to Mr A’s class. We went one step further. We made mustaches for everyone.
Mr A typically strode into the classroom with disregard for all of us until he had written whatever was important for that day on the board. Somehow a class full of dumbass 9th graders managed to keep our heads down and not laugh. We waited for that moment when he turned to face us….It could not have been more perfect. The absolute stunned look on his face, followed by the loudest, not laugh, but straight out guffaw. He loved it and insisted we keep them on for the whole class.” (source)
Threw The Book At Him… Literally
“Threw two dictionaries by the class’ window from the fourth floor. The dictionaries fell about 2 feet from the principal who was casually walking outside. Principal proceeds to get inside, climb to the fourth floor, enter the classroom with both books in hand and asks who did this. He says I know it’s someone from this class and no one is leaving until I know who is responsible (by that time it was lunch time).
After a long silence the guy finally says “Ok I admit, I threw one of them”
Principal goes “I appreciate your honnesty, thanks for giving yourself away, you can leave for dinner, but don’t start again”
So the kid got to leave while the rest of the class had to stay until we could find who threw the second book (guy had thrown both obviously). We tried to say he threw both but principal was like “Stop trying to put that on the back of your friend who was honest”
We were stuck there for like half an hour until they realized this was going nowhere” (source)
“Our math teacher was away one class and we got stuck with a substitute teacher from hell. He comes back the next day and tells us that he was at a riddle competition; yes, a riddle competition. The class was pretty pissed about having that substitute teacher and our teacher starts bragging about winning first place and how he can solve any riddle. So naturally, our class clown gets up and drops this riddle.
You are a bus driver. There are 10 passengers. On the first stop 3 people get on, 5 get off. On the second stop 2 people get on, 3 get off. On the final stop 8 people get on, 4 get off. What color are the bus driver’s eyes?
Our teacher tries to be smart and answers:
That information was not provided.
To which our clown replies:
Yes it was, dumbass. YOU are the bus driver.
He got suspended.” (source)
“In my senior year economics class our teacher was a 70 year old woman that had been teaching at the school for at least 40 years. We would mess with her constantly. One day the window was open and I was in the seat right next to it. Another guy in the class gives me a tennis ball and tells me to throw it at him when Dr. Apt was not looking. I had no clue what or what he was going to do but I agreed. When she turned her back to me but could still probably see him out of the corner of her eye I tossed the ball with some force but not much and it hit him in the face. He then proceeded to scream in agony and fall over bringing his whole desk down with him in a extremely slapstick manner. She ran over to him and asked him what happened and he said someone pelted the ball at him from out the window while still writhing in pain on the ground. She ran over to the window and spotted 3 kids in the courtyard outside the classroom and called them over so she could yell at them, but none of them knew what was going on at all and denied it. She told them if none of them would fess up she would call the principal and they would all be in trouble they all remained confused and stood their ground she ended up calling the principal and he took them to his office I don’t know if they ever got in trouble though.” (source)
A True Escape Artist
“I was in seventh grade Spanish class. The class clown in this scenario was a boy named AJ (real name). He and our teacher were never really on good terms, him being the class clown and hungry for attention. One day when she was turned around writing something on the board he tried to climb out the window. Our class was on the first floor. He was half way out the window when she turned around and lost her s**t. Man I loved public school.” (source)
The Class Stoner
“Pulled a pipe and some weed out and took a hit right in the middle of math class without the teacher finding out. The teacher didn’t know what the smell was or where the smoke came from or who even did it so she just pretty much got mad at everybody for not paying attention and got back to teaching. She was completely oblivious. She obviously had never smelled weed before in her entire life.” (source)
A Slimy Situation
“This was in the mid 90’s. There was some kind of slime, goo, whatever you call it available to buy, you could roll it, throw it, and in reality it was pretty useless.
Anyway, he threw it onto the ceiling, and it stuck… And then fell into our teacher’s neck 30 minutes into the class, and disappeared in her shirt. She was so shocked, she literally ripped the shirt off of her. As a 14 year old, I was amazed. (Teacher was a substitute fresh out of university).” (source)
Staying Away From That One
“We had a substitute teacher in Spanish one day, the new assistant PE coach. My friend gets my attention and asks me to hand him one of the erasers from the chalk board. I pass it over, he sticks it down the front of his jeans and positions it to stick out lengthwise. My friend is 6’9”, just massive, and he now looks like he has a raging (rectangular) erection. He walks up to the sub’s desk, slaps it down on the table right in front on him and says, “Can I go to the bathroom”? The look of shock and horror on the teachers face was priceless. His eyes were focused on his pants the whole time and he mumbled, “Y, y, yes”. I was in the floor, under my desk, having convulsion as my friend walked out looking as proud as a peacock. The whole class was in tears.” (source)
A Little Too Bold
“In physics class we were watching the teacher write some formulas on the board when she drops her pen. While she was bent over he exclaims “Ms. Blank I’m looking at your butt!” She stood straight up and rigid “I should send you to the office for that!” She never did.” (source)
Credit For Being Prepared
“We had ceiling fans in our math room. This kid Ryan placed about 200 marbles on the blades, and waited patiently with a bike helmet on. The teacher walks in, asks him to take the helmet off. Ryan refuses, Teacher gives up. Turns on the ceiling fan. Instant indoor hailstorm. When the chaos died down, the teacher just looked at Ryan and went “Nice one”, and handed him a detention slip.” (source)
That’s… Surprisingly Gross
“Our class clown threw homemade gummy bears on the wall whenever the teacher had his back to the class. One landed on the projector and slowly began to melt. The whole projection turned blue. Teacher freaked out.
Then there was this case where he kicked an empty water bottle down the staircase (we were in the top floor) and it hit the principal on the ground floor right in the face.” (source)