Kids tend to believe almost anything their parent or guardian says. Kids also don't really have a filter for this kind of stuff. And sometimes, the things Mommy and Daddy say will absolutely blow your mind.
My mom worked in the office of an elementary school, but would spend time with the kindergarten classes often when teachers took a break. She was talking to a group of kindergartners once about different forms of communication, and asked them about cell phones. One little girl raised her hand and said that her mom had 2 cell phones. When my mom asked why the little girl said that her mom used one of them to talk to a lot of nice men, but that one was a secret between her and Mommy, and Daddy wasn’t allowed to know.
My mom changed the subject reeeeal quick. Source
The Pregnant Sisters
Sixteen year old girl… “mom told me to get pregnant now, so my body will bounce back and she can help raise it.” Later that year, she was pregnant… and so was her little sister. Source
A kindergarten student came up to me today and said “thanks for being a teacher”
I told her “thanks for saying that, that’s really sweet.”
She then says; “my mom said teachers are important because
they teach us rules and without rules, the Muslims will take over.”
I had no clue what to say so I just muttered “huh…ok” and walked away. Source
The Story of Bill
I went to a Christian school for a few years and my dad convinced me Jesus had a brother named Bill who sold sandals and was the “black sheep” of the family. I brought him up in class a few times, feeling very informed because no one else knew of Bill. My teacher and the principal were NOT amused although the pastor thought it was hilarious.
I also told everyone my dad punched a hole through the door. Without context. Source
The Pit Snake…
A first grader once beckoned me over very seriously and made me bend down to hear what he needed to tell me.
“There’s a pit snake coming,” he said, confidentially.
“Excuse me?” I asked.
Very serious: “A pit snake. Jehovah will make it happen. It’s going to be HUUUUGE. It’s going to get EVERYONE. Ask my Dad.” Source
When I was in Pre-K, I brought a single lace dress up glove to school on picture day. Told the teacher my mom said I could wear it, and for some reason she went along with it. So now I’m Michael Jackson-ing it on my parents’ wall for all eternity. Source
Probably was the worst was a sixth grade boy who was groping girls in his class. He would sneak up behind them and squeeze their butts or boobs. When confronted, his response was “Dad says girls like it when you take.”
That was a call to the social worker. Source
“If I do this at home my dad will…”
I rotate between several schools, but at one school one kid is always in the staff room getting shouted at. One day an exasperated teacher asks him, “Do you act like this at home?” The kid responds, “If I do this at home my dad will hit me. You guys don’t hit me, so I can do whatever I want.” Fifteen year old… He really drove me nuts, but after hearing that I kind of just felt sorry for him. Source
The Awkward Naked Encounter
Seventh grade boy, out of nowhere and with no context:
“I’ve seen my dad naked. I fell asleep on the couch and he thought I was in bed so he came out of his bedroom to get a drink, and I woke up and saw him naked. I yelled at him to put clothes on, but he just froze with his willy hanging out. It was big, too. He told me to forget that it happened. But I can’t forget. I’ll never forget.” Source
A National News Story
Don’t want to give too many details away but…
Two students, one white and one black, break the same rule together at school. They are both suspended.
The parents of one of the students claims that he was treated unfairly because of his race. She complains to the principal, and later sues the school. The parent spread a false story which made local and national news. Soon, our school is getting all kinds of hateful messages from around the country.
Later, the court rules in the school’s favor and the suspension is upheld. The parent continued to spur trouble the rest of the school year. Source
Well, My Mom Said…
This was before my teaching days, when I was still a camp counselor. On the first day, a kid (around 2nd grade, so 8 years old) sat down next to me and goes “My mom said my dad’s a moron. But he’s not. He’s a handsome, cool man and that’s where I get my good looks from.” That set the tone for our summer.
He got picked up late a few weeks later, and we asked him who was coming to get him. “My mom’s boyfriend. He cheated on her three times!” Source
Today was my first day of college classes and about halfway through my intro to psych class my professor told a story after briefly introducing the unit on preconceived ideas.
He said he had a student who had graduated the past year who had also been in one of his classes. They ran into each other outside of a supermarket and she said “Professor you were a great teacher and I really enjoyed your class. Except you really messed up during one of your units.” He asked “which one and how so?” She said “during the racism and discrimination unit you said black people are equal to white people. My dad says black people are far inferior than us.” He said she was dead serious and it killed him that she held onto that preconceived idea through that class. Source
Not a teacher, but in HS we were debating LGBT rights (Conservative MN. Teachers should know better than let that discussion go) and a bunch of kids thought gay people were evil. When I asked why, in front of the whole class, they answered with “because my parents said so.”
I got in trouble for literally laughing at them. The teacher pulled me out of the class, gave me a little high five, and let me sit and read in the hallway.
Good times. Source
What Does He Do?!
My mom used to smoke weed. My dad never enjoyed it but would roll up joints for her at the kitchen table. One day in Kindergarten we were given the task of drawing and writing a “what my dad’s job” project. I drew a picture of my dad at the table rolling up and wrote “my dad makes cigars”
This prompted a conversation where my parents explained to the principal that my dad made “gears” (he was a gear and spline grinder) and that was probably him at his work bench. They all had a good laugh and my dad never rolled at the table again.
TL;DR: Kindergarten teacher asked “Who is your Daddy and what does he do?” I told her daddy rolls fat blunts for mommy. Source
Roman History And Aliens?
We were discussing Roman history and the gladiators back in middle school, and a kid somehow interpreted gladiators as alien fighters. Another kid spoke up about how his dad said that “aliens” stole his job. I didn’t understand this until recently, when I heard someone making a racist remark about Hispanics. Source
But Dad Said!
My friend said this after she saw someone do the splits.
“Ahh, my Dad says you break your vagina if you do that.” Source
“Do you make out with…?”
Obligatory I’m not a teacher but… I remember in school we had a health class when I was around 11 or 12 teaching us anti-smoking stuff. The teacher said something along the lines of “you don’t want to smoke because kissing a smoker is like licking an ash tray.” So I felt compelled to respond with “I kiss my dad all the time and he smokes!” The teacher just shot me a look and said in the loudest most sarcastic voice “Do you make out with your dad?” I didn’t live that one down for a while. Source