Anyone working in retail will tell you, people ask some really dumb questions. Here are 20 embarrassingly bad ones for your reading enjoyment!

Well, Does It Say "Cell Phone" On It?
1. Well, Does It Say "Cell Phone" On It?

Yesterday while I was helping out in Best Buy, a woman approached me with a pink plastic phone case asking how many text messages it could store in an inbox.... I said she needed to have a cell phone for that. She clearly did not understand. After about 10 minutes of trying to explain that the case was solely for style/protective purposes, I sent her over to the phone department and let them deal with her for the next HOUR Source

Thanks For Nothing!
2. Thanks For Nothing!

"Thank you for calling Starbucks, this is Jeff. How can I help you?"
"Yes, where are you located?"
"We're at the corner of Main and Magnolia."
"And where is that."
"Do you know where Main Street is?"
"Do you know where Magnolia Avenue is?"
"That's where we are."
"Well I'm standing at that intersection and I can't find your store. Is it underground or something?"
[looks out the window and sees a woman who looks lost] "Ma'am, turn to your left. Do you see a man in a green apron waving at you?" [begins waving at her]
"That man is inside a Starbucks. Go there."
"That's not Starbucks. That's Quizno's."
"Ma'am, I'm very confident I'm in a Starbucks right now."
"You're not very helpful" [click] Source

Sometimes It's Just Not Worth It
3. Sometimes It's Just Not Worth It

I work in the print center at Staples. Some older lady brought in her laptop and asked if I could print an e-mail off for her. She booted it up and proceeded to get angry because her Internet wasn't working. I explained that she would need to connect to our store wi-fi to work. No, that was unacceptable and 'made no sense'. She 'didn't have to do that at home'. And started yelling at me that I did something to her computer to delete her Internet (??). I hadn't even touched her computer at this point. She pushes her laptop toward me and says 'fine, you do it then'. I connected her to our wi-fi. (Oh god her computer was a mess. Her desktop was completely covered in icons). And gave it back to her so she could get to her e-mail. 'See, this is my Internet. I told you...' She half mumbles this in irritation. Now, she doesn't know where her e-mail is ('usually it's automatically on there!'). I ask her what e-mail she uses. Gmail? Yahoo? Hotmail? She looks at me like I'm stupid. 'why does that matter?' At this point I'm getting pissed off. I have several other customers waiting on me. I mess around on her bookmarks, hoping that it was on there somewhere. Thank god it was. I connected her to the Comcast e-mail site. She doesn't know her f'ing password. After a few botched password guesses, she decides to call her son to ask him. I help the other customers while she does this. I come back and she gives me the correct password. I get into her e-mail. She doesn't remember which e-mail it was. I'm going one by one in her inbox. Nope. She then tells me it was from a few months ago. Are you f'ing kidding me? I had to sift through 3 months of spam to find it. It was a f'ing EXPIRED spa coupon. I pointed out that it was expired and she waved it off and told me to print it out. I explained that I would need to transfer it to a flash drive to print off from our computer. She tells me that it should print off from her computer. 'Thats what it does at home!' I have a headache at this point. Then, the Windows update thing pops up. I ignore it while I'm trying to transfer the file over.'What are you doing? You can't ignore that'. She pulls the laptop toward her and presses update, which requires it to shutdown. No, she didn't postpone it for '4 hours'. She does it for right. now. I am f'ing pissed off at this point. The computer turns off and she turns it back on and lets the 100+ updates proceed. She's there for at least another hour letting it update before giving up and leaving. She didn't even get her f'ing coupon Source

It Doesn't Say WHERE You Have To Eat!
4. It Doesn't Say WHERE You Have To Eat!

I didn't have to deal with it, but it was amusing listening to a waiter at an IHOP try to explain to a customer why they couldn't order "Never ending pancakes" to go Source

She Does Have A Point...
5. She Does Have A Point...

Worked at Best Buy about 4 years ago for a summer. A lady came in insisting that her son wanted a Playstation 3. Then she saw the Wii stearing wheel and said "That will work with the Playstation right?" I told her that the Wii is a different console made by a different company - so no it wouldn't work. She snidely says "Oh. So I have to buy a whole different console from you guys JUST for it to work? Typical." then she adds "But you gotta make commission somehow right?" and walks away. I hate when older technologically illiterate people get frustrated with their lack of knowledge and then start blaming the system - or in this case, hungry salespeople Source

Only A First Edition
6. Only A First Edition

Working at a book store.
CUSTOMER : Do you sell the Bible here?
ME : Yes we do. Which version would you like?
CUSTOMER : The Bible.
ME : Yes, I understand, which version?
CUSTOMER : The one Jesus wrote


Just Can't Take It Anymore
7. Just Can't Take It Anymore

I used to work at RadioShack and I had a lady come in and ask for a radio capable of getting broadcasts from the middle east. I showed her a few, she purchased it and asked me to help her tune it. I found some stations from various middle eastern sources, tuned them as she stood there with this puzzled look on her face. I asked what was wrong and she looked at me with this seriously grim expression and said "How am I supposed to track terrorists if they don't speak American" Without speaking, I refunded her money and went on the only smoke break I've ever taken. I don't smoke so I just ate french fries Source

I'm Talking To YOU!
8. I'm Talking To YOU!

One time after ringing up a customer I told him his total, he said "ok" and just sat there... expecting me to do something else, I waited a few seconds and said the total again and asked if it was going to be cash or credit, he looked at me like i had two heads, I waited again and said "uhm, are you going to pay for all of this or were you just wondering how much it costs?" (happens a lot more than you think) he gets all huffed up and says in a loud voice "I WAS WAITING FOR YOU TO TELL ME THE TOTAL!" I was stunned and really was at a loss for words, another customer behind him apparently got fed up and told him, "she told you three damn times!" he paid and booked it Source

It's Just There In The Air
9. It's Just There In The Air

When working at Wal-Mart electronics around 8 years ago, I dealt with a sudden torrent of people returning wireless products. They were furious that these devices needed to be plugged in to charge. I had customers insisting that the other employees said their phone/keyboard/controller/etc. would "absorb electricity" from sockets as they walked around the house. We had to put up "wireless devices do not charge wirelessly" signs around the entire department Source

Maybe Try Layaway
10. Maybe Try Layaway

This happened just the other day... Two middle aged women come up to my counter and order their drinks. After ringing them up I tell them their total and they tell me that they're going to wait for their friend to pay. Perfectly fine, I tell them their drinks will be waiting for them when they're ready.
I finish making their order pretty quick and place their drinks by the register. Five minutes pass and they come up asking if their drinks are done yet. I said yes, just been waiting for them to pay and they proceed to FLIP OUT saying how they were just planning on coming back and paying with their friend. So essentially they wanted me to give them free drinks and trust that they'd come back to pay. I do not think so, crazy eye patch lady and co. I do not think so Source

11. Logic

"If I install 32bit Windows twice, will it become 64bit?" That conversation lasted 2 hours Source

Must Be The European Method
12. Must Be The European Method

I once had a customer bring back a laptop she bought the day before claiming it was broken. She said it wouldn't open, I asked her if it was windows not loading up or a program not opening, she said the laptop itself wouldn't physically open. I took it out of the box, opened it up and just looked at her. Her mouth fell open, she looked at me and said "Oh, it opens that side! Me and my sister tried for an hour to open it up last night and couldn't" She had been trying to open it from the hinge side Source

More Logic
13. More Logic

I work at a kitchen equipment store and we often have people ask about recipes and the equipment they need. One time a woman ask if it said to cook something for 1 hour at 350 degrees, could she do it in 30 minutes at 700? Source

My kid is the best at cyber.
14. My kid is the best at cyber.

I once had a customer service rep call me to the front of the store because a couple were screaming at her, saying that I sold them the wrong game for their console. I went up to the front, and they shifted their screaming back and forth between the two of us, but it was mainly directed at me, because I was apparently a greedy salesperson who purposely sold them a game that was incompatible with the Nintendo DS (that I had also sold them) just so I could roll around in my filthy lucre while cackling away at their misfortune. Anyway, in between the yelling, I managed to glean from them that their issue was that the game cartridge wouldn't actually fit into the console. So I picked up the game cartridge and slid it into the machine with no problems. They both shut up and stared at it for a second. The wife began to yell at me again (something about tricking them and making them look bad) while the husband shushed her and apologized. He explained that they had gone home and handed the whole lot to their 4-year-old to figure out, but their 4-year-old kept trying to put the cartridge in backwards. Apparently it never occurred to them to look into the matter themselves, as their toddler had things well in hand, and the obvious conclusion was that I had sold them the wrong thing. On purpose Source

Wait, What???
15. Wait, What???

In high school, I worked in a pizza place. An elderly woman called in one day and said that her grandkids were coming for the weekend and their mother had suggested pizza for dinner. She called us up and asked, "What exactly is pizza?" This led to a forty minute phone call in which I tried to explain all this to someone who lacked even a basic concept of pizza what was. This included how you order, explaining each individual topping, popular combinations and how to serve it to the kids. When she came in to pick up her order, she still looked completely confused by what a pizza was. She kept peeking into the box to try and figure it out Source

It's Gonna Blow!
16. It's Gonna Blow!

Back in my Best Buy days, a woman came in complaining that her iPod had a virus. I turn it on and it's working fine. She says it only appears when she connects it to her PC, so I hook it up to our machine. It connects, and the "Do not disconnect" message appears, complete with red "no" symbol.
"There! That's the virus! What does that mean?" Source

Stop Trying To Save Other People's Money
17. Stop Trying To Save Other People's Money

I worked fast food and a customer wanted a cheeseburger, medium fry, and medium drink. I said ok I will ring you up a #1 combo meal. This angered the lady who told me that she didn't want the combo meal just a medium drink, a medium fry, and a cheeseburger. I told her that it would be the same order but this would save her money, but she got even more furious so I politely punched them in separately Source

Instructions Are For Wimps
18. Instructions Are For Wimps

When I was working internet tech support, I had a customer call us up because his net wasn't working. He said he hooked everything up but "the damn thing just won't let me email". He then said "the cable you sent me was too damn big". I told him that shouldn't be the case, and he said he had to re-size it to make it fit into his computer. After a little more questioning, I found out he just took the box that had his network card, his modem and most importantly that cd with a huge red sticker on it that says "RUN THIS FIRST BEFORE SETTING UP EQUIPMENT", and chucked all that stuff aside. He then took out the ethernet cable, tried to plug it into his 56k modem, when it didn't fit he took a knife and carved it down to make it fit. I just kind of sat there as he was furious because his service didn't work and we sent him useless equipment. When he finally let me get a word in, I told him he was supposed to run the cd and use all of that other equipment. He said he didn't want the service anymore and told us to cancel it, but I told him he signed a contract and I could setup an appointment for him for a technician to come out. He wasn't interested Source

The Red Cross Appreciates Your Donations...
19. The Red Cross Appreciates Your Donations...

A client once asked how much it cost the Plasma truck to come out and refill his Plasma TV.... Source

Not The Only Nozzle Here.
20. Not The Only Nozzle Here.

My friend works customer service at Canadian Tire. The other day someone tried to return a flashlight, claiming it wouldn't light up. My friend looked down at the flashlight. It was a hose nozzle Source