"I'm Surprised Any Of Us Are Still Alive"

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"I'm Surprised Any Of Us Are Still Alive"

"I once attended a wedding where the freaking photographer forgot to show up. She penciled in the wrong date or something, and they even held off the ceremony for an hour trying to reach her - and it turned out she was on location somewhere else or otherwise unavailable.

I'm not a nuclear physicist, but I saw a meltdown that day, and it was the bride's mother. I'm surprised any of us are still alive.

What ended up happening was someone ran to Walmart and bought them out of those little Kodak disposables, and everyone just took candid snaps."

This Cake Literally Ended The Wedding

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This Cake Literally Ended The Wedding

"One of my instructors in culinary school owned a super high-end bakery before he became a professor. He once had a bride who wanted a particular shade of pink sugar flowers on her cake, but she would not bring in a color swatch no matter how many times she was reminded. So, the wedding rolled around and Chef just did his best to guess what color she wanted. When the bride saw that the cake wasn't the perfect shade of pink she had a total meltdown in the midst of all of her guests. On the floor sobbing and screaming. THEN she took Chef to court and sued because the color of the cake caused the couple to be unable to consummate their marriage (I mean, amongst other things like emotional trauma)."

Runaway Groom

Tsezarina/Shutterstock

Runaway Groom

"The wedding planner ran off with the groom from my cousin's wedding. The wedding planner was a guy. The groom was my cousin's first love, first boyfriend and they were together for four years. What added some more trauma was that his and her family blamed her for that because there had to be something wrong with her which turned a perfectly normal boy into a gay. It was the weirdest, most melodramatic yet absurd event I ever been to. Ended up in me drinking a cold one with my poor, heart-broken and literally broke (the wedding was supposed to be huge) cousin in the loo. We left the party and she lived with me for 6 months before she got out of her depression and made her peace with the rest of the family (they hated me as well)."

This Mistake Would Cost The Bride And Groom Years Of Grief

Viacheslav Boiko/Shutterstock

This Mistake Would Cost The Bride And Groom Years Of Grief

"I used to work for a company that did wedding photography/video. So this bride buys our biggest package, 16 hours of coverage, from the moment she wakes up to the end of the reception.

Photographer goes and covers the event. On the way back home he stops to grab a bite at a burger joint. After eating his burger, he goes back to his car. The car has been broken into and the camera with all the cards and all the pictures of the day has been stolen.

Bride and mother did not take it very well. Of course, all money was refunded but still... it's not the money they wanted. Tears where shed, screaming was done and everyone felt crappy.

It didn't ruin THE day... but it did ruin the day(s) after.

New company rule: You can't stop anywhere until those cards are safe and sound in the office or at your home."

This Is Why Family And Business Should Be Separate

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This Is Why Family And Business Should Be Separate

"When my little sister went to get married, her fiancé's aunt-in-law was a wedding planner and they were getting married in his home state. Well since we didn't really know anyone up there, my dad decided to let his soon to be son-in-law's aunt plan the wedding with a budget of $35,000.

The DAY before the wedding she presents my dad with another bill of 35,000 dollars and says the wedding cannot go on unless he pays for it... Luckily my dad has just sold some farm equipment from our dairy, so he has the cash and he pays for it. The wedding does turn out to be a really nice wedding, but afterwards, my dad STILL received calls from the DJ, the photographer, and other people saying she hadn't paid them.

My dad doesn't want to press charges since she is now related, but she didn't realize that A LOT of her business came from the dairy industry and my dad is well known in it, so he quietly let it be known what she did, and she stopped getting any business from the dairy industry. She still claims she took a loss on the whole thing, even though she built a brand new addition to her house after the wedding..."

No Suits, No Problem
No Suits, No Problem

"The morning of my brother's wedding, all the men are out having a round of golf outside of town while the women go to the salons to get their hair & nails done for the big day. Beautiful. Sunny. Playing a great round, and one of my brother's best in his life. The sun and stars have aligned.

Then the Best Man's phone rings...

He answers said phone, and he is chipper & cordial. It's the rental place that has the party's Tuxedos and that they're ready for pick-up at the previously specified time. All appears well as the BM goes through the list: Pants are pressed? Good. Shoes were shined? Yup. Vests were the proper color? Great. Jackets had the right flowers to be pinned on? Uh oh.

At that last statement, the best man's face turns a dazzling array of colors that I had previously only seen at a dance club. White, to green, to red, to purple, to what I can only describe as 'Crimson Murder.' The jackets are not ready and had not been ordered. The wedding is in 4 hours. Mass amounts of swearing ensue. BM hangs up and without saying a word starts heading to his car to return to the city (a 45-minute drive that he achieved in about 20). The best man had the original contract in the car and showed it to the company proving that the jackets were, in fact, on the order.

At the end of the day, after using quite possibly every threat known to mankind, jackets are procured from another rental place about an hour before the wedding and everything went off without a hitch afterward. Good times."

One Inch Makes A HUGE Difference...
One Inch Makes A HUGE Difference...

"This wasn't us ruining the wedding, but we still got blamed for it. You see, I worked for a florist - I look back on them fondly as the sarcastic florists because that's what my bosses were behind the counter. They were amazingly good at what they did, but they didn't take ridiculous crap from people and if you were going to be a jerk they were going to riff sarcastically on you for months to come.

The biggest jerks were without fail the ones who were spending the most money. We had one family spending a ridiculous amount (something like 40k on the flowers alone) and the mother of the bride had the biggest meltdown I've ever seen. There had been a discrepancy in the type of candles ordered for the floral garland that went on a ledge around the room. My boss had written down from their initial consultation that they wanted 3-inch pillar candles to be placed in mini arrangements every few feet along the garland. The arrangements and garland were beautiful, but when we were there setting up the bride's mother threw an absolute fit and insisted that they were supposed to be 4-inch pillar candles. It was the day of the wedding, we were in a remote resort town, and there was no way we would be able to get replacement candles in time. She insisted that they were too low and that the flames of the lit candles would sparkle too brightly in everyone's eyes. She wanted us to comp the entire cost of the garland. My boss was super diplomatic and polite but didn't back down and was like, 'Um, no, not a chance.'

For months afterward he'd make constant jokes with us about it. He'd say things like, 'Hey, do you know if the State laws have been updated yet? What's the policy for how tall pillar candles have to be for a couple to be considered legally married?'"

This DJ's Set List Was Not Bopping
This DJ's Set List Was Not Bopping

"For my wedding, we later found out was that the DJ who was supposed to do our wedding bailed at the last minute, so the owner of the DJ service had to scramble and send someone she didn't know. And it totally backfired.

After all the toasts and stuff, we go up and tell him we're ready to do the first dance. 'Uh, what song are you dancing to?' I tell him. 'Um, I don't have that one.' What the heck? Luckily, I had driven my car to the reception even though I hadn't planned to, and had the CD in my car.

Once the dance floor opens up, he starts playing the worst selection of music ever, including songs we had on our 'do not play' list. It doesn't take long for us to realize the guy is high as a kite and completely out of it. Needless to say, the dance floor empties out for a long time. Then, he plays Billie Jean, at which point people come back and start dancing. So, in his messed-up brain, he then proceeds to try and play the ENTIRE Thriller album. I had to go stop him after four songs.

Anyway, didn't ruin the wedding by any sense, but was definitely bizarre and annoying at the time, although funny now."

Nothing This Wedding Planner Did Would Save The Wedding

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Nothing This Wedding Planner Did Would Save The Wedding

"I've worked at tons of weddings, from little get-togethers on the beach, to half-million-dollar galas in Manhattan. Here's a story about how the wedding party contributed to making things lousy all around. I met the couple at a great location near the beach. I was told by the lady that they were having a family reunion. We later worked out the menu, budget, arrangements, etc, and they put down the 50% deposit. The remaining 50% was due 48 hours before the event - which was in about 4 months.

About a month before the 'family reunion,' she lets out it's actually a wedding. She said she had read online that the wedding industry rips people off, and it was better to not say it's a wedding, but some other type of party. Jeez... So, we made some adjustments now that I actually knew it was a wedding.

48-hour countdown comes, and no payment from them. I almost blew it off but decided to put up my own money and do the job anyway. Paying for all the rentals, all the food, and staff, etc.

The wedding and reception get underway, still no payment. And no mention of it from them. They then proceed to be rude and abusive to my staff. This is a party of about 150 people. They slam the bar we'd set up and everyone is pounding drinks. About two hours into it and everyone is hammered. And the complaints and abuse are pouring in nonstop.

My staff remained pretty chill about it. We'd worked many weddings and receptions before, and knew this type of behavior was typical.

So, as things die down, I had to go deal with getting paid. I finally got it, but not before getting a trashed ear full from the bride and her mother, who was trying to work out why they should get some discounts. There were at least 50 people who were plastered. I offered to let the police sort it out. That must have gotten their attention. They paid up - about $5K in cash, which was weird - and left.

These people obviously thrived on abusive relationships. They wanted to have a crappy time - and wanted someone to blame it on - and they got it. Out of all the weddings I've been to and worked at, these people took the cake. Literally."

The Leaning Tower Of Cake
The Leaning Tower Of Cake

"My sister is a professional cake artist and made a coconut creme cake for a bride in June. She has two jobs and was scheduled to work during the ACTUAL wedding so I was charged with transportation and set-up. Everything was fine - except the wedding was in June and before the ceremony was even over, the coconut creme filling started to melt from INSIDE the cake, causing it to slide. This three-tier white cake looked like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. So I managed to flag down the venue coordinator and had them pull the cake from display just moments before it completely fell apart. Thank God it was in their kitchen. So I had to run to Tom Thumb (who makes BEAUTIFUL deli cake) and purchase two coconut cakes and basically make a cake for them to cut for pictures since the collapsed cake had fallen while on a sterile kitchen surface and was still edible - just not pretty at all anymore. The bride actually had no idea that anything had happened but I was in a sheer panic for almost two hours."

This Client Didn't Make Their Job Any Easier

Rommel Canlas/Shutterstock

This Client Didn't Make Their Job Any Easier

"I have catered over 100 weddings in my day and never really 'ruined' anything or had any big disasters but I have a story of a client ruining my night.

It was a destination wedding at a private residence 4 hours from my home base at a 25,000 sq ft vacation house near a ski resort. The clients were friends and one of my original regular customers at my restaurant. In fact, they had their first date at my place.

The Bride was very insistent about having a non-traditional reception. She wanted a running 'happy hour' party where different food and drink stations came out throughout the day/night with no traditional sit-down dinner. The main meal part of the night was 'small plates' served dim sum/tapas style. We had 10 items on the menu and my staff would walk carts up and down the tent passing out various plates. So if a cart went by with something you liked you took it, if not you waited for the next cart.

In our last meeting with the clients and the wedding planner, everyone decided that it was important for the bride and groom to have a speech welcoming everyone and to briefly explain how dinner was going to work. On the day of the wedding, despite being reminded, the bride neglected to do this. When my staff descended upon the tent people were confused; taking anything that came by their table, being upset that they didn't get other things. After 'dinner,' the bride and groom give thank you speeches. When the Bride gets up to speak the first thing she says is that she is sorry that dinner did not go as she planned and hopes that everyone wasn't disappointed. I was on the edge of the tent with the wedding planner and my heart just sunk and I wanted to hide in the corner. The wedding planner was upset and took her aside to tell her about the inappropriateness of her statement.

This is the point in the story where I tell you that 'dinner' was 1.5 hours late because after the initial pictures the bride didn't like her eyelashes and disappeared for over an hour to redo her make up. During which we had run out of appetizers (we had enough for a 1-hour happy hour reception, not 2.5-hours) not to mention how the timing affected the timing of the dinner food.

Because they were friends, especially the groom (who was paying for the wedding approx $125k) they asked me the defer $10k of my $25k bill for a week after the wedding and come final payment time, predictable the bride throws in a faux apology. I couldn't cash that check fast enough."

The Wedding Planner Thought She Was Doing Her Job But She Was Terrible At It

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The Wedding Planner Thought She Was Doing Her Job But She Was Terrible At It

"I'm a photographer --- at a wedding last year, the planner forgot to send the final payment to the venue. The night before the wedding, the venue hasn't been paid and tells the staff, you get tomorrow off. The planner shows up the morning of, the place is empty, not set up and the food isn't being prepared. Then, she has the audacity to claim she 'saved the day' by going there and realizing everything was all messed up, getting the payment to the manager who, in turn, scrambled to put on the reception.

I gave mad props to all the kids and adults who showed up to serve that night --- I probably wouldn't have answered that call when I was in high school. The planner was passing appetizers and claiming how much she was helping in doing so. The weeping bride and her screaming mother in the hallway thought otherwise."

They Were Hired For A Wedding, Not To Be A Babysitter

Antonio Guillem/Shutterstock

They Were Hired For A Wedding, Not To Be A Babysitter

"My mother and aunt run a wedding planning and venue hobby-business. The only ruining of a wedding I've witnessed working a vow renewal was when the bridal party was two hours late, they got 'secretly' trashed, and expected me to babysit four very little kids.

The wedding ceremony was supposed to start at noon sharp. I show up at 9:00 AM to go over last minute details, make sure all of my equipment will be set up correctly, and begin taking pictures of everyone getting ready. 20 minutes later, the bride and bridesmaids decide they're going to go get their nails done.

'Oh by the way, since you'll be the only one here, can you watch the two babies that are both under eight months old, the one-year-old, and the three-year-old? We don't want to take them with us.'

So, at 11:45 they finally get back, spend an hour and a half doing four people's hair, all the while whining and crying that everyone's late and this day is a mess. The bride kept getting so angry when her husband kept calling her asking her what was taking so long.

Finally, at 2:15, the ceremony starts and the rest of the day was about as awful as it started."

They Literally Dropped The Ball On This One

Keisuke_N/Shutterstock

They Literally Dropped The Ball On This One

"About a decade ago, a friend got me a job setting up wedding receptions. $100 per event, tax-free. It was a good gig for me back then, I was excited.

So we set the wedding up. It was at an old plantation house, and we were instructed to hang decorations off the porch. My buddies did that while I set up the chairs. The reception went into full swing, and we left for a couple hours to go watch a pay per view boxing match that was being screened at a friend's house. So far, so good.

We returned to the reception sometime later, ready to break everything down. Boss lady tells me to go grab those decorations off the porch. They were paper cones with ribbons that tied to the porch's railing. And also, what I did not realize, they also contained a glass globe with a candle inside, which was delicately perched on top of the cone.

The first few I grabbed had no globe on the cone. In retrospect, this was probably because the wind had already blown the globes off. And because I had not set them up myself, I had no expectation of encountering glassware. So I was just kind of grabbing them haphazardly. Everything was going well until I haphazardly grabbed one with the globe still in it, and sent a melon-sized hunk of glass hurtling towards the ground, where the bride's sister just happened to be sitting on some steps. Now, to say this woman had cat-like reflexes does her a disservice. I like to think cats have this lady-like reflexes. She jooked left at the last second and avoided being hit. Keep in mind, this all happened so fast that I didn't have time to yell so much as a 'look out below.'

It could have been much worse. As it stood, she popped a strap on her dress when she jumped out of the way and was pretty upset. Needless to say, I didn't get to set up any more events."

Sometimes It's The Wedding Party That Ruins It...

GlebSStock/Shutterstock

Sometimes It's The Wedding Party That Ruins It...

"Went to an incredibly fancy wedding at a country club. The groom and his cousin (best man) started a business together, and were both worth several million. Both of them were in their early 30's at the time. The groom probably spent $100k to $200k for the wedding.

Anyway, the best man gets trashed, and it's his turn to give the best man speech. If anyone has seen The Wedding Singer, Funniest Home Videos, or any movie with the most embarrassing, crazy, best man speech, this guy surpassed them all by a freaking mile.

He immediately starts off talking crap about the groom. Then proceeds to start telling stories about how many girls the groom has slept with, how big a player he is, and *HOW HE HAS CHEATED ON THE BRIDE MULTIPLE TIMES!!! *This is all just about 3 minutes into the speech, and by this time the other guys in the wedding party are trying to take the mic away, but this guy isn't giving up without a fight. He takes off running around the dance floor screaming: 'It's my time! It's my time now! Let me finish!' Finally they pry the mic away from the dude, and two of the guys take him outside.

It was insane. Most awkward situation I've ever seen."

Pass The Blame

Ollyy/Shutterstock

Pass The Blame

"As the best man in several recent weddings, sometimes it's better to blame the staffers than the family.

At the most recent one, the mother of the bride was utterly insane and we had a couple small things that we noticed right away were going to go 'wrong' (they were fine, but the mother of the bride was going to go insane because it wasn't the way she wanted it). So we grabbed the event manager and asked them if we could, with their assistance, put the blame on one random staffer.

So he called in a staffer on their day off, we paid her $300 in cash, and the mother of the bride chewed her out for a couple minutes while we look disappointed and then the mother of the bride 'fired' her from the event staffer company (which is just really funny to me that the mother of the bride actually thought she had the ability to unquestionably fire someone from a career at somewhere else and it would be totally accepted). The girl was in on it the whole time and said that if she could get paid for the entire day of work plus $300 for 45 minutes of work (including driving to the location), she would love it.

The rest of the time the mother of the bride would find things wrong and then say, 'Well, this must have been that girl's doing. I am glad I fired her because she was worthless,' and we all just said: 'definitely, great decision.' Made the day so much easier. I really wish this was my idea, but it was the father of the bride's idea. I can only assume he has done this in the past."

This Wedding Went Up In Flames
This Wedding Went Up In Flames

"When I was younger I worked as a caterer at a banquet hall that served weddings. I have so many stories but this one is my favorite. The bride supplied the hall with a large floral arrangement with bamboo candle centerpieces. The mother of the bride insisted the centerpieces should be lit, even though the candles just looked like a decoration. I went around lighting about 25 of the 50 tables and heard crackling behind me. I turned around and all of the centerpieces were on fire. This was 10 minutes before the hall opened so all the guests were in the lobby looking in at us frantically putting out the fires with a fire extinguisher."

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