I’ll Have Your Cupcake And Eat It, Too
“When I was managing a nice restaurant, a couple of kids came in with a tray of cupcakes and proceeded to sit down and eat them. I politely informed them of our no outside food policy and asked if they would like to purchase something.
They said no and went back to their conversation. After repeated attempts to kick them out without physically touching them, I sat down at their table. I pulled their cupcakes over to me and began eating them.
They fell silent and stared at me. Then they started getting angry, demanding I pay for them. I said nothing and continued to eat. I ate 3 1/2 cupcakes. I couldn’t finish the one that was left, so it ‘fell’ on the floor. They left in a tizzy and never came back.”
You’ve Got Mail!
“During college, I worked in the Screwfix (hardware store) call center for a while. One customer rang up and proceeded to shout profanities at me for 10 minutes, all because he was still getting catalogs sent to him after telling the postman to stop delivering them.
He wouldn’t let me say anything, eventually called me a horrible word, and finally hung up. So I called through to my management team and said I’d had a school drama teacher on the phone who wanted to include the catalogs in a school play and put one under every seat in the audience.
I said this sounded like a great marketing opportunity for Screwfix, and asked if there was any chance we could send him 1,000 catalogs. My management agreed, so off they went. I wish I could have seen his face when he received a massive pallet full of catalogs in his driveway.”
All Bets Were Off Once The Guy Laid A Finger On Him
“I was working at a fast food establishment and had already handed in my two weeks notice when a customer started blowing up at one of the girls on the till.
I emerged from the kitchen to ask what was going on, and the guy turned to look at me, then asked the girl, ‘Oh, you need your idiot burger-flipper to get my order right?’
I stepped up next to the till girl, looked at this guy directly, and said, ‘Sir, if you can explain-‘
‘Explain? What is wrong with you people? I made an order, now are you going to make it for me or not? Well, are you?’
At this point, he decides to emphasize the point by poking me. Now, I have some experience with martial arts, so I instinctively grabbed him by the wrist. Ticked off at this guy, as well as being seven hours into an eight-hour shift, I gave him the following options: ‘Sir, you now have two choices: you can remove your hand and leave, or I’m going to keep it.’
I could feel him tugging harder on his hand, so I let him go. He quickly left. My manager had seen it from the office, but there was no point in writing me up since I was already leaving. I didn’t get any shifts in my final few days, but it was worth it.”
No One Could Stand Mean Dean
“I used to be a barista and my real joy came from messing with one customer, in particular, every single day. We’ll call him Dean. Dean used to come in twice a day and order three extra-hot, triple grande lattes. Same thing every day.
He was a huge butthead. Always mean to the new guys, freaking out if they didn’t get his order exactly right, always complaining about our store even though he was the most die-hard ‘regular.’
He walked in like he owned the place. And the worst part was, after a while, it was like he did. The staff tripped over themselves to make sure this guy was happy. The line could be out the door, then whispers of ‘Dean is here!’ would be echoed throughout the store, and making his drinks would become the top priority. He was rude, didn’t tip, and yet he was treated like royalty.
I could only resist in one small way as a 16-year-old, but I looked forward to it every day. If I was working the register, or if I was the barista asking the line for their drink orders, I would look at him with the blankest of expressions, and innocently ask for his order.
Every day, I saw the expectation in his eyes, that I would finally remember his three triple grande, extra-hot lattes. And then the very next day, I would ‘forget.’ He must have thought I was the biggest idiot in the world, or suffered from 50 First Dates level short-term amnesia.
For two years, he would sigh in exasperation, roll his eyes, and repeat through gritted teeth his order. And for two years, I would leave work knowing that I had ruined this prig’s day. It was awesome.”
Keep The Change, Ya Filthy Animals!
“I once worked at a Johnny Carinos. It was my second to last day and we had some really rude guests at the end of the night, soccer moms and such, at a patio table. We were busy and I had a trainee, and they ate that girl alive.
At the end, they asked for a pen when I gave them their credit card slip. I knew what was coming. They left two pennies and a nasty note, laughing as they walked out. They were just out the front door when I said, ‘Hey ladies, you forgot your change!’
They giggled and said, ‘No, that’s yours for such wonderful service!’
So I said, ‘Well, you obviously need it more,’ and threw it at them in the parking lot. They were stunned for a moment, but came back in demanding the manager.
He came and asked me to go to the back. I said no. ‘These witches can be witches all night and I have to leave?’ I was loud. All the employees gathered around. One woman said she wanted her money back and me fired.
That sent me into overdrive. I replied, ‘You tell this lady my last day is tomorrow, but she can’t act like a fool and get free food. Eff that!’ I won’t ever forget them just storming off. My manager asked me to finish my last shift the next day. I did not.”
“There was a customer who’d been arguing with a cashier about the return of a product that we had never stocked and I was called out to deal with her. She refused to listen and eventually, as part of her ongoing diatribe, referred to the cashier as a ‘stupid Paki’ (she was actually Iranian).
I politely stated (whilst smiling for the CCTV) that if she didn’t get out of my store, I’d happily throw her headfirst out of the nearest fire exit and called her a terrible word.
She told me she’d have me fired and complained to head office. They investigated but felt that my manner and expression seemed to fit with my version of the story and that I’d been nothing but polite. She carried on shopping with us and every time she saw me, she’d go red with fury. It gave me a good laugh.”
You Are Now Free To Leave The Country
“I was in charge of all the arrivals and departures of thousands of students a year at an English as a second language school. 99.99% of the students were awesome. However, some of them were rotten eggs.
We had the son of some Eastern European millionaire who was just a garbage human. He sucked so much that he got expelled from an ESL school that didn’t really enforce any of the conduct standards or anything.
I had to drive him to the airport. He was verbally abusive to me almost immediately, so 15 minutes into my drive, I decided he was going to almost miss his flight back to the homeland (because almost missing a flight would give most people gray hairs).
I took him on a great detour tour of Boston’s finest Big Dig traffic (because that was still going on when I worked there). He was getting antsy because the flight he needed only came in once every few days and the clock was ticking.
I was timing it so that he would be able to catch his flight, but only just barely. When we pulled into Logan, he demanded that I carry his luggage for him. I told him that I can’t park at the curb and that I would have to park in the garage.
After parking in the garage, I slowly helped him with his Louis Vuitton luggage. By the time we made it to check in, the plane was 45 minutes from wheels up. He handed me a $1 bill for helping him lug his luggage.
I watched him trying to cut people in line to no avail. By the time he was clearing TSA, there were only minutes to spare. Apparently, he made it right to the gate as the plane was leaving the gangway.
He called the office and freaked out. His dad called the office and freaked out. The agent that hooked him up with the school called the office and freaked out. Apparently, he had to spend two days at the airport to catch the next flight back home. However, my boss gave me an ‘attaboy’ for messing up his travel plans.”
Call Center Savior
“I worked for a call center when Priceline first came out. At that time it was a bid only site and you got what you got. No transfers, no refunds, no changes except for IMMEDIATE family death or PROVEN medical disability discovered after the date of purchase.
I worked on the ‘Resolutions Team,’ which meant I got the people who were already ticked off. It was essentially the art of saying no a thousand different ways. At first, we were centralized in one area, but after time they had the bright idea to assign a Resolutions Agent to individual teams.
One day, I heard the girl in the cube next to me crying as she was talking on the phone, so I put myself on away and hot jacked into her set. The customer on the line was calling her all sorts of filthy names and demanding to be refunded.
I put her on mute, told her to take a break (probably not authorized to do that, but didn’t care) and made my mic live. ‘Hello sir, I’m with the Resolutions Team. How can I assist you today?’
Immediately, he said something to the effect of, ‘Finally, that dumb witch wouldn’t refund my tickets.’
So I asked a few questions, and it turns out he had spent something in the neighborhood of $6,000 on three tickets to Milan for a business meeting three days prior. The meeting had been rescheduled and he wanted his money back.
So, I asked him if he had access to the internet where he was now. He said yes. So, calmly and clearly I walked him through the Priceline website where you bid for tickets, all the way up to the point where you put in payment information. Along the way, the site forced you to confirm no less than three times that you realize and accept that the tickets are non-transferable, non-refundable, and non-alterable.
As we got further through this, I heard the resentment creeping back into his voice. He started to swear at me and I cut him off with, ‘Sir, if we can’t keep this professional, I will disconnect the call and direct any further attempts to contact the company through me.’ So he sulked.
I ended the phone call by saying, ‘Now, I could have referred you to the President’s Team for special exception review, but I am not going to do that. You chose to spew vile filth at a human being who I personally know as one of the nicest and most caring people I have ever met (she really was, this girl was a sweetheart) for not being allowed by her employer to reverse a decision YOU made. I am noting all of this in your file, and any further attempts to contact us will go to me or management. Consider this a $6,000 lesson in manners Mr. Customer. Thank you, and have a wonderful trip to Milan, I hear it’s beautiful.'”
They Got Served Manners With Their Pancakes
“I used to work at a 24-hour pancake restaurant in Australia and I was on duty for the Saturday night shift (8pm-8am]. It was late at night, around 11, and a group of men came in and were seated in my area. I had a few other tables, too.
I was taking an order from a couple when one of the men called out to me, wanting me to come take their order. I turned and acknowledged them, and finalized the order I was already taking.
Then this guy whistled at me and actually snapped his fingers for me to go over there. The man from the couple I was helping went to stand up and go say something, but I stopped him and said I’d take care of it.
I went over to the table, stood next to this man (who was there with his mates), looked down and said, ‘Sir, what would you like me to do? Lift my leg and pee on your table, or run and catch a frisbee? I’m not a dog, so don’t ever snap your fingers like that or whistle for my attention. Got it, pumpkin?’
His mates totally lost it, laughing uncontrollably. I did take their order, and they were all on their best behavior after that. So much so that they left the table so bloody clean, and in the middle was about $60 as a tip for me.”
This Princess Better Develop A Better Attitude
“During my freshman year of university, I worked at a drugstore with a photo place. One day, I had the most entitled princess get a reality check courtesy of my lack of filter.
The managers didn’t do anything at this location, so if I took a break all they would do was accept orders and not process anything.
When princess walked over, she asked how long it would be. I knew my half hour break began in five minutes, so I quoted her 90 minutes. She scoffed and then threw a tantrum. ‘It says ONE HOUR!’
I explained that I was taking a break shortly and would be able to get to her photos as soon as I could, but that the person covering me wouldn’t process her order.
Her companion told her that they weren’t even planning to return to the area for at least two hours, but she doubled down. Eventually, I’d had enough. I was tired, overworked, and hungry.
‘LOOK. IT DOESN’T SAY “GUARANTEED” ANYWHERE. I NEED TO TAKE A BREAK SO I CAN PEE, HAVE MY DINNER, AND SIT DOWN FOR THIRTY MINUTES OUT OF THIS EIGHT HOUR SHIFT.’
She glared at me and snatched her film roll off the counter, declaring that I was rude and a witch. I smiled and said, ‘YOU WOULD BE THE EXPERT ON THAT, MA’AM!'”
Quite The Wake Up Call
“I was a cashier at a grocery store, and if a customer was using coupons we had to make sure they were actually buying the correct item. One day, a customer was throwing a fit while I was looking for the items and comparing them to the coupons.
This lady paid by check, and after she left I wrote down her phone number. I waited 2-3 months, then called her up at 3:30 in the morning and told her to shove her coupons up her butt.”
Buzz Off, Bigot
“I used to be a window clerk at the post office. At one point I was the only white clerk in an office of black females. I had a customer (older white male) come in and greet me with, ‘I’m so glad to be waited on by you instead of those…’ and then proceeded to call my coworkers the most deplorably prejudiced and misogynstic thing imaginable
Two them were just around the corner and heard him. They stepped out where he could see them, giving him the worst ‘crawl in a hole and die’ looks I have ever seen.
I picked up my ‘Window Closed’ sign and plopped it down on the counter in front of him. I told him, ‘Sorry, you’re not getting any service here today, or any other day.’
He looked shocked, but left. I’d waited on him before, and I know he lived less than three blocks from our office. I never saw him again.”
“This vegan lady frequently came into a restaurant I worked at in high school. She was a giant pain and everyone trash talked her when she came in.
She complained constantly and would send food back for whatever reason she could think of. She’d often ask for the manager to complain about the quality of the food, then demand that the meal be given to her for free.
On top of all that nonsense, she NEVER tipped the wait staff. Not even once. Often times, she’d write ‘ZERO’ in the tip line with a note as to why we didn’t earn a tip that evening. ‘Food was too hot. Food was too cold. Your chicken fettuccine wasn’t vegan-friendly. I hate the color blue. I had to wait for food. Blah blah blah.’
So one day, we started putting bacon bits and cheese into her food. Whatever non-vegan-friendly food we could easily conceal. This went on for months. Eventually, someone told her, and she had the ugliest crying/screaming/throwing things/etc tantrum I’ve ever seen.”
(PL) Test Drive Dummy
“I used to work at a car dealership. There was this guy who called in insisting on an extended test drive of the new Highlander, which hadn’t even come out yet. He wanted one for the weekend, for free.
I told him we only do extended test drives for customers who are about to sign and want to make sure the car is what they want. I told him he could rent one, but he’d have to pay for it when it comes out. He’d been planning to use it to drive him and his family to Austin from Houston for the weekend.
I told him, three other people in my department told him, a manager told him, and two sales guys told him. He refused to listen. And he just got angrier and angrier, and the phone calls kept getting transferred back to our department.
So we wrote down his number and every time he called in, we’d transfer him to a random department. Parts, body shop, rental, sales. Everywhere we could think of. We warned the people in those departments, obviously.
It was a slow day and this guy just. Kept. Calling. We kept it up for about two hours before finally transferring him to the garden store across the street. After that, he stopped calling.”
His Behavior Was Always Annoying, But That Night It Was Dangerous
“I used to wait tables at a restaurant and we had a regular who was a real butthead. He would snap his fingers and yell across the restaurant to get my attention, snottily mumble orders instead of asking for things like a normal person, and completely ignore me if I came to the table and he didn’t need anything.
This particular occurrence was on a busy weekend. I was the only server (it was a small restaurant that only sat 40ish people) and was running around like a madwoman because most of the tables were filled and there was one big party there.
This party was seated next to the dude’s table. I admittedly hadn’t checked on his group since bringing them their food, but I hadn’t been gone long. I had a tray of plates for the big party in my hand, and as I was moving towards their table, the guy decided to get my attention by swinging his arm out into the aisle, catching me in the legs.
I could’ve fallen, plates would’ve broken, and very hot food could’ve gone all over people, namely the little kids who were seated at the end of the table.
I put the tray down and lost it at the guy. I was quiet at first, but the angrier I got, the louder I got until I was yelling at him about how his obscenely rude, childish behavior could have seriously burned little kids, injured me, caused damage to the restaurant, and potentially gotten us sued, just because he wanted a refill.
To my surprise, people started applauding at the end of my tirade. I didn’t get fired that night, and the guy…didn’t really quit being irritating, but he was certainly quieter. Given his attitude, I’m surprised he didn’t complain to the owner about my behavior, but I’m not gonna complain.”
Buh-Bye Basic Broad!
“I used to be a cashier at a grocery store, and it was absolutely awful. I was at the tail end of a 10-hour shift and I was exhausted. I’d been standing for the better part of eight hours, and I was ready to go home.
A lady walked to my register and started piling her items on the conveyor belt. As she did, I gave a friendly ‘Hi, how are you doing?’ She didn’t respond. That was fairly normal and, usually, people don’t mean anything by it, they just want to move on with their day.
Just so you have the full picture, this woman had a dyed blonde fringe, long fake nails, drove up in an SUV, and had Kim K sunglasses.
Just as I’m done scanning the last few items, she said to me, stone cold, completely serious, ‘I give your attitude a 4/10. Fix it.’ Keep in mind that SHE was the one who didn’t respond to my question.
Usually, I ignore that sort of stuff, but I was having a terrible day, so I responded with, ‘My attitude isn’t the only thing here that’s a 4/10.’
The guy in line behind her looked like he was about to pass out from holding in laughter. She called my manager, but all I got was a written warning. Worth it.”