Embarrassing things can happen any place, any day. Sometimes, the embarrassment is enough for people never to return to the scene of the crime. These are the best, most cringe inducing stories that have made people say "Yup, can't go back there."

Well, They Sort Of Got Lucky
Well, They Sort Of Got Lucky

"Me and my friend thought it was a good idea to steal a tube of lubricant from a Walgreens.

The first time we went inside we stole one bottle, a drink, and some gum. We made it out without getting caught. About 15 minutes later, we thought it was a good idea to go back inside and try to steal another bottle. We went inside and this lady immediately started following us. I know it was stupid of us, and we should’ve just left, but my friend was determined to get another bottle. So, she thought the lady had left the aisle, so she walked in and grabbed the lubricant. I couldn’t see where the lady was but literally right after she grabbed the bottle, the lady popped up from right behind. My friend saw her then just walked into the bathroom. I followed behind her because I already knew we were beyond in trouble at this point. We were freaking out at this point, and she just decided to put it in her backpack and hope for the best.

Before we left, I flushed the toilet to pretend we were using it and went to wash my hands. Right after, one of the workers walked in and checked the stalls with a tablet or something in her hand. Then the other lady walked in and literally said, 'it’s Durex.' After she said that I knew we were caught. The other lady said, 'So are you gonna hand it over or are we gonna call the cops?' My friend obviously handed over the lubricant and the lady told us they took pictures of our faces so if we ever came back, they would know.

We left after that completely free. Now we both have a fear of having to go in there with our parents. Luckily, that hasn’t happened yet."

It Was A Coworker!
It Was A Coworker!

"I used to work at this retail store that I shopped at regularly, and it was my last day there before I had to head off to school. I was having a good day, everyone saying their goodbyes and just making it an enjoyable last day for me. All was going well until my last hour. I had to go to the bathroom, so of course I went. The bathrooms for employees are single bathrooms that have a push lock on the door. I did not lock the door. A male coworker (I am a girl) walked in on me while I was mid wipe. Bad right? Well in my state of shock, I decided the best thing to do was to yell 'OH MY GOOOOOOODDDDD' at full volume. He was clearly traumatized and proceeded to say 'I’m so sorry' as he booked it out of there. Luckily for me I only had an hour left (thank god) and when my shift was over I left as fast as I could. I now refuse to go back to that store ever again to avoid seeing him again."

Hold It Together, Man
Hold It Together, Man

"One of the first jobs I had, I approached my boss in his office to discuss a report. As I was standing near him (he was sitting in his chair reading the file on his desk), I felt a sneeze come on. Knowing that I didn’t have time to grab a tissue, I just turned away from him. However, the sneeze held off but the gas in my stomach did not. I crop dusted the poor man. Embarrassed, I whipped my body back around to face him and the centripetal force of my motion must have knocked my sinuses loose. I sneezed upon completing the spin but was in too much shock to cover my face. I gave my boss both an aura of noxious odor and mucus spewed across his face.

I was apologizing profusely and already in motion to grab him something to clean his face with, but he simply stood up and excused himself to the bathroom to wash off. He never mentioned the incident again but every time I saw him in the bathroom after that, I’d scurry out. I ended up working there for maybe 8 or 9 more months before moving on."

Goodbye Goodwill
Goodbye Goodwill

"I was in a Goodwill looking for some clothes for a job interview, and hadn't been feeling well for the whole day. I was constipated from the night before, but had taken a few laxatives, and while in the fitting room, felt them kicking in. I dropped the clothes I had and ran for the restroom. I'll spare the details, and just say I felt much better afterwards. I flushed, but the toilet was stopped up, 'No problem,' I thought 'I'll just use the plunger here.'

I pushed the plunger down... nothing. Again. Nothing. I gave one hard push, and the side exploded, rushing dirty brown water all over the floor, and flooding the bathroom. I shut the water valve off, but really didn't want to deal with it...so I casually walked to the register, and told the cashier the men's bathroom flood was wet, and should probably be mopped. I haven't been back to that Goodwill yet."

Think Before You Speak
Think Before You Speak

"My wife informed me that she might be pregnant and I immediately went to the store to purchase a couple of tests. We did NOT want another kid.

Of course, I went to our local grocery store. After deciding on two tests I went to the checkout counter, waited in line for my turn, and as our regular checker scanned the tests she says a polite hello and asks, 'are you hoping for a boy or a girl?' Without hesitation, I answered with, 'I'm hoping for an abortion!'

Open mouth, insert foot. The gasps I heard around me and the look on the checkers face ensured it would be awhile before I shopped there again.

Sometimes my mouth moves faster than my brain."

Little Brothers Are Trouble
Little Brothers Are Trouble

"Not a store, but a public library.

We were at the counter, and the librarian was scanning the books we've selected. She was… generously sized.

My little brother, 4 or 5 at the time, tugged my mom down to whisper something in her ear. He was rather new to the concept of whispering.

He put his hand up to shield his lips from the librarian. Despite all this, he said — about the librarian — at standard speaking volume:

'Hey mom, y'ever notice how FAT that lady is?'

Mom tried to play it off by saying something akin to 'he thinks it's okay to say it to others because he says it to me.'

But my mom's not fat.

It did not work.

We used to go there every day when my mom didn't want to have to hire a babysitter to watch us during the summer. She'd bring us to her office, and let us walk across the street to the public library to play games on their computers or just read books. She'd always come to pick us up when she was done with work.

She started looking for babysitters soon after."

Truly A Tsunami Of Warm Amber
Truly A Tsunami Of Warm Amber

"When I was much younger, about 9-10, I went to a large PC store with my dad, who wanted to ask a technician about an upgrade. Before we left the house, my dad asked if I needed the toilet first, which I said no to. Predictably, on the way, I started feeling like I needed to pee, but knowing that I had only five minutes earlier told my dad I didn’t need to go, I said nothing.

We got stuck in traffic for about 30 minutes and the need was becoming urgent. But I thought to myself I’m a big boy now, I can handle this, I’ll just go behind the store when we get there.

Nope.

So when we pulled up, I told to my dad that I was going to look at the games at the front of the store, and he could find me there when he was done, so he walked off to the back of the store where the technicians' desk was located. I took my chance and snuck out to execute my master plan. Little did I know that the rear parking lot of the retail center was being used for some sort of event, I don’t recall what it was but I just remember a lot of people standing around talking and singing. So I abandoned my attempt and returned to the store. I was at the point of bouncing on the spot to keep it in. One lapse in concentration and it was game over.

I returned to the games section and was walking up and down frantically, pretending to browse when all I was really doing was trying not to pee myself. Clearly I was acting strangely, and this lead to the security guard coming over to see if I was ok. Except when he arrived he turned the corner just as I was coming to the end of the aisle, and we basically ran straight into each other. The brief moment of shock was all it took to break my pee holding-zen.

It started as a couple of hot drips that just soaked the front of my underwear, but the seal was now broken, and no matter what I did, there was nothing that could stop the tsunami of warm amber that was now streaming down both of my legs. I could do nothing but stand there, and started crying hysterically.

Safe to say that when my dad heard this and came running, he decided that he would not be making a purchase that day, and to this day I have never set foot in that store again."

He'll Never Get A Bagel From There Ever Again
He'll Never Get A Bagel From There Ever Again

"I used to go to a bagel store near my work pretty often, maybe once a week or so. Family owned shop, with the dad, uncle, and mom all working there, as well as the owner's daughter during the summer. I was always pretty friendly to everyone, and talked to the whole family as we were both from New York but lived in the south now.

Well one time after getting a sandwich to go and getting back to the office, I saw the daughter (who was maybe only a few years younger than me) had written her number on the to go container, which was great except I was happily engaged at the time. So later that week I went back, got lunch, and let her know I was flattered, but I was in a relationship, and she was very polite, and we just kind of moved on.

The next week, I went back in again, the daughter wasn't working but when I went to order the whole family started grilling me on why I wouldn't date their daughter, accusing me of making up my fiancée, saying I led her on and broke her heart. Then they asked how I was going to make it up to her, at which point I kind of slowly started leaving and told them I wasn't sure but I will think of something...and have never returned since."

We've All Been There, Probably
We've All Been There, Probably

"I got a gym membership for the first time recently. A lot of the machines are pretty self-explanatory, but I’ve never used a lot of them, so I have no idea what I’m doing. So a few weeks ago I was trying out the endless stair machine and in front of me was a guy on a machine working his arms, like making circular pedaling motions. I thought, huh, I could do my arms too. So I took the machine next to his, set the timer for 10 minutes, just circling away. I finished my 10 minutes and looked down by the seat to see handles.

It was a leg machine. I sat there for 10 minutes in front of the entire gym, god and everybody circling my arms like a lunatic.

I mean, I’m still going back because I paid for it, but I’m not going to look anyone in the eye there ever again."

Word Diarrhea At Its Finest
Word Diarrhea At Its Finest

"I used to go to the same haircut place since I was in kindergarten until I was in my teens. One day I go for a haircut and get this new, fairly attractive woman. As she's starts cutting my hair, I start to sweat.

It was like someone was standing over me slowly pouring a bottle of water slowly over my head. It just kept going and going. Eventually the girl said, 'Wow, you must be really hot.' I'm already very nervous, and blurt out the first thing that pops into my head, 'Yea, it must be because you're pretty. I'm not sure why this is happening, you're pretty but it's not like you're that pretty.'

So pretty much as soon as the last words are leaving my mouth I start asking myself why in god's name would you say that. Now I'm even more embarrassed and I have to sit through a haircut feeling like an idiot, a drippy wet idiot.

I spent the rest of the haircut praying for it to be done quickly or for a meteor to come through the ceiling and put me out of my misery. The girl handled the rest of the haircut like a pro, no idea why she didn't just kick me out. She finished, I paid, gave her a huge tip, and now I drive farther to get my haircut somewhere else."

Getting Crazy at Kohls
Getting Crazy at Kohls

"I was once shopping for a new dress in a Kohl's. I want to say it was for a wedding or something. I am not a dress person, so I brought my mom with me to help me pick out a dress. I dress well, but I just don't like to wear dresses, and the dresses at the time were not meant for girls with a big chest.

Everything seemed to have a structured bust that my girls would not fit in, and if it fit my girls, it was massive in the waist. There was no good bust to waist ratio on anything that I tried on, and anything that didn't have a structured bust looked like I was wearing a potato sack. I must have tried on 20 dresses, and after about the 10th it just became comical. My mom and I were laughing so hard at how awful every dress looked on me, or how my girls were about to explode out of them. I finally tried on a ruffled floral one that wasn't structured and had a waist belt. My mom blank stared at me for a second and said 'You look like a waitress at the Applebee's.' and burst into laughter.

I could not catch my breath. When my mom starts laughing really hard her head turtles into her shoulders and her eyes disappear, and she looks ridiculous. When she gets like that I have to get away from her or there is a 100% chance that I will pee on myself from also laughing too hard. Even if I look away I can still hear her and I know what she looks like while laughing. Well, there was nowhere to go. I wound up peeing through my underwear in the corner of the fitting room while begging her to stop laughing.

We promptly left and I've never been back."

No More Quiznos
No More Quiznos

"My brother is notorious at a local Quiznos. I guess for a while, Quiznos had this online coupon code for BOGO sandwiches. It was supposed to be used one time only, one coupon per customer. My brother found out that regardless of that fact that the coupon code was only supposed to be used once, he, in fact, could use the code over and over and over and over again.

And he did. Couldn’t even tell you how many times. It got to the point where he had multiple people picking up his orders for him to conceal his identity.

Finally, a Quiznos employee found out that he was the serial coupon code user and verbally banned him from ever coming back to the store.

Two years later, just for kicks, he decides to see if the coupon code still works. It does. He figures the staff will be new, and he goes into the store to pick up his order.

When he walks in the door, the Quiznos guy screams 'YOU!!!!!!!!! I knew it was you!!!!'

They gave him the order, but he hasn’t been back since."

No More Wendy's? Good Luck
No More Wendy's? Good Luck

"I was... 8, 9? Maybe? My dad, being the type of dad that would take my first haul of Halloween candy and dump it into our bin to give to other kids, made me go into a McD's to trick or treat. I begged him not to because I found it embarrassing to beg for food but it worked, and we got a small fries and a drink.

Seeing it work my dad drove to the next fast food place which was a Wendy's and made us do it again. We rolled up and said "trick or treat" to the cashier who could not give less of a stuff. He sighed looked at the next person and said "next." The embarrassment I felt that night haunted me for longer than I'd like to admit and I could not step foot into another Wendy's for a really, really long time. I wouldn't trick or treat again either until I had kids of my own.

Some time when I was in my mid 20s I was with a group of people who wanted to go, so I said, what the heck... Let go of that stupid kid stuff. I ordered and was rude to again when I asked if I could have my cup for my drink I got an eye roll and was told to wait a minute. I kind of lost it in a childhood ptsd moment. I yelled out, 'Step off, I don't need my drink or my food, throw that stuff away, I am done with all of you.'

I walked out and again immediately felt embarrassed that I lost my cool like that. So I can never go to a Wendy's ever again. Nothing good can come of it."

Pretend You Didn't See Anything
Pretend You Didn't See Anything

"When I was a kid, my family went to a Pizzeria Uno, and before the food came I went to inspect the plumbing. 'Inspecting the plumbing' was a joke my family made when I'd go to pee at a restaurant. I'd usually be a glutton about free drink refills, and would always have to get up and pee mid meal, so my family always joked I was obligated to inspect the plumbing at every establishment.

They had those sinks where you press down on the knob and the water would flow, with the knob slowly raising back up before it would turn off after 20 seconds.

I used my fist and hit the top of the knob and the thing just popped off and a huge geyser of water was erupting nonstop. Me and another kid were in there, we looked at each other and just bolted from the bathroom.

I got back to my seat and just sat there silent. Then my mom went to use the bathroom, and when she came back she told us this story of how there was a pool in the bathroom hallway and the manager and an employee were in the men's room slipping and sliding trying to shutoff the water.

My whole family was laughing at the story, but I just sat there silent. They asked me what's wrong and I told them it was me that did it.

They never fail to mention it every time we drive past a Pizzeria Uno, even now 20 years later. I've never stepped foot in one since then."

Puts A Damper On The Wedding
Puts A Damper On The Wedding

"Back when I was getting married I was sick as a dog and my soon-to-be bride insisted we go shopping for the wedding invites. Went into this pretty higher end shop and really felt ill (and not just at the prices). Asked one of the workers if they had a restroom I could use. Long story short: took a massive smelly diarrhea dump, clogged the toilet, and they had no plunger to fix it with. Even though I only flushed once the toilet kept running and it started to overflow. Rushed out, closed the door, grabbed my bride by the arm and just said: 'we gotta go.'"

Still Cringing Over this One
Still Cringing Over this One

"I was about 10 at the time and I went to a barbershop that was owned by a dad whose daughter was a girl that I liked. I just finished the haircut, and I saw a magazine holder that was covered up. I saw that one in front said Playboy and I could see the head of a girl on it. So me being a curious kid, I devised a master plan of very quickly picking up the magazine and putting it back down on the way out to see what it was. So I was just walking out the door, and I picked it up about half-way out and looked at it for a second, and then I tried to shove it back down and it was totally stuck. I stood there for about 6 or 7 seconds trying to shove it back in and In the middle of that I turned around to see if her dad was still up front. While making a huge amount of noise, I finally got it back down then looked back one last time and got the most HORRIFYING double take ever, I was mortified. Every time I think about it I cringe so hard..."

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