We all have secrets. Some big, some small. These people are holding on to monster secrets. Secrets that if they came out could ruin their entire career. Please note, there are several stories contained that some readers will find disturbing. Content has been edited for brevity.
"I run a cake business. I charge people hundreds for wedding cakes... Every last one is made using Pilsbury cake mix I buy for $1 a box at Walmart. I suck at baking. Every time I've ever tried to make a cake from scratch, it sucked. But baking is like, my whole deal. My friends all call me the cake girl. It's like my whole life is a lie. People compliment my cakes all the time. Telling me how delicious they are. Telling me it's so much better than box mix cake. Telling me they could never bake a cake so delicious. Well, guess what? For $1, they too can make a cake just as delicious. Just add oil, eggs and water.
In my defense, I love cake decorating. I make all of the frostings and fondant from scratch. I just hate baking effing cakes!! I base my prices mostly on the decoration of the cakes and not of the cake itself, if that makes sense. Still... No one knows about this except my husband. Even my best friends think I slave over the oven, mixing and baking these stupid cakes. I have been doing this for YEARS. If anyone knew, my business and reputation would be in the toilet for sure. I keep telling myself I have to learn how to make the stupid cakes without the box mixes, but I never do it. I feel like such a sham sometimes."
"First time telling anyone this. I am basically living a lie. I told my entire family I was able to transfer out of community college and into a university, but I never finished up the requirements. So since I live at home, every day instead of going to school I go to the local library and mess around. My lies are so extensive, I even go to the campus and meet my girlfriend for lunch sometimes. I've made fake transcripts to show my family, and to make it look like I'm actually studying, I go to MIT opencourseware to look up facts that I 'learned in class' that day. I have become a remarkable liar. I hope to be transferring in the fall and then I look forward to living a normal life. Coming clean is not an option at this point."
"I accidentally killed seven people.
I put a rag into a new water heater exhaust to keep debris out and installed it in a rental.
I get a call a week later, there's been an accident. I show up and there's a ton of EMS and police. They ask me where the gas shutoff is, and I go down to shut the gas off and see the end of the rag I forgot sticking out of the top of the heater.
Ripped the rag out, shut the gas off and head upstairs only to be told all the tenants were DEAD.
I drink all day now and sleep. It's killing me from the inside every single day, but if I say anything my family is ruined; we have a bunch of rental properties and we'd be shut down."
"I'm an atheist. I'm also a deacon in an evangelical church. I'm not exactly proud of it but I try do my part to convince people to live like Jesus because even if he wasn't god, he certainly had some good ideas about loving other people.
The problem for me is my family. I'm married with a one kid and another on the way. I believe that such a revelation would be devastating for my wife. I've tried to tell her in subtle ways but I can't bring myself to just come out and say the truth. I love my wife and I don't wish to harm her emotionally in that way."
"I faked the last two years of college education. My parents put so much pressure on me, I couldn't handle it (I was suffering from severe depression and anxiety), so I faked it all. Lied to everyone. Made up fake transcripts. I just got my foot in the door in my desired field thanks to a friend as they hired me as a subordinate. This place only hires college grads but no one double checked my credentials since I was recommended. My hopes is that if I need to find another job, I'll have been at this place long enough to get it by experience alone (I work for a very prestigious company). I'm not bad at my job. I'm actually quite good. But my fear is eventually I'll hit a wall and the lie will come to light. No one has known this for the better part of a decade.
It's a relief to finally say it 'out loud.' I can't even tell those I love. My silence is my prison."
"I faked having a chronic pain condition for 5.5 years in order to not have to attend middle school and high school (I was placed on a homebound program -- NOT homeschooling -- and allowed to study at my own pace from home). I was able to fool a team of medical professionals, my family, my teachers, and my friends into believing that my symptoms were real. Also, I racked up over $100,000 in medical bills for my family (that's just what the insurance didn't cover) during those 5.5 years (I did not realize the extent of the medical bills until late into my lie and it was one of the main reasons I decided enough was enough). Upon graduating from high school and getting accepted into a good university, I decided that it was time for my 'pain' to go away. No one has questioned the fact that my symptoms vanished over night, my medical team attributed it to the fact that I was nearing the end of puberty.
What I did was a terrible thing, and my family is continuing to drown in debt from medical bills (I plan to pay them back someday). I simply started the hoax because I was a 12 year old who absolutely loathed middle school. I attempted to end the lie at the beginning of every school year, but eventually fell back into saying my 'pain' prevented me from attending school. Today I feel horrible about what I did, and I desperately want to tell everyone that it was a lie, but I know that I cannot because I will never gain credibility back again. I am currently an associate at a large law firm, and I am in a position to pay my parents back. I have tried many times to pay my parents back the $50,000 they already have paid off. I have also tried to get them to let me assume the remaining $50,000 in medical bills. They refuse to let me. My hope is that they will allow me to help them with their retirement, I think some ground is being made in those negotiations."
"I have an important job. Every day, I evaluate various containers for hazardous waste (up to and including medical waste) to determine whether or not they are suitable for a given application. The vast majority of my work comes from pressurized containers that hold (usually) harmless compounds under extremely high pressures (hundreds of times greater than atmospheric pressure). When these vessels fail, people die. Period.
I have been in this business for nearly 40 years. I am approaching retirement, and I have commissioned more of these pressure vessels than I can count. THOUSANDS of containers are out there in all sorts of industries being worked on and around by people completely unaware of one fairly important fact: the person who commissioned those vessels has heard voices in their head since they were 14 years old. There are three of them. One of them is something of a snarker, another is mostly silent and very childish, and the third is frighteningly, violently insane.
The last one didn't show up until I was graduating college. Every time I have stamped a container, I heard a soft voice in my ear chiding me for missing an opportunity to kill somebody. I'm commanded to steer into oncoming traffic every time I drive home. I've caught myself idly listing the ingredients to build a bomb or a sketchy lab or a homemade weapons lab more times than I care to list. That voice has been my indicator for the integrity of every device I have commissioned over my entire career. If ever I am about to stamp something and the voice is silent, I recheck my numbers.
Truthfully, though, I have no idea how much separation there is between me and them. How much of what they say comes from me, and how much of what I do comes from them? Every day, thousands of people go to work in environments that are certified as being safe only because a complete madman put a stamp on a piece of paper. I've driven away my wife, my children, and my family to keep my secret safe. Once I retire, my only companion will be an illustrious professional reputation built on misplaced trust. With retirement looming, I ask myself every day whether or not I should come clean and check myself into a mental hospital. I believe I would rather die, and that single thought is the only thing that is answered by complete silence from the others sharing my head."
"I used to be a Police/Fire/911 Dispatcher, but had to quit because it nearly made me suicidal. I actually had thoughts, but had to drive 40 miles to go to a center/hospital where no one knew me for help. I have nightmares about a few calls I took where the caller killed themselves, shot someone else, or passed away on the phone with me. To this day, a few years after resigning, I still can't listen to a phone ring, or sirens go off without having a mild panic attack. I am fairly sure it's a form of PTSD, with flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks, and an inability to function sometimes, but I'm embarrassed and scared to tell my fiance, or go to a doctor for it. I know there are soldiers out there with real PTSD that deserve help far more than me... I am very good at hiding it though. I also sometimes wait until my fiance goes to sleep, and I will then go sit and pretty much cry for several hours. It's a nightmare."
"Everyone thinks I have a good job and roommates but I've been homeless and a lady of the night for over year. The last time anyone visited, I had my life together. I live far away. I have an additional job that houses me on occasion. I'm not crazy or a user that's gone off the grid. Basically I just tell people I'm doing the same thing I was before. I fell into this lifestyle accidentally, I responded to an ad because I needed quick cash. I've been fortunate to have been in safe and have good instincts. It's not something I aspired to obviously, but I don't think regret is the right word. I certainly won't/don't look back fondly. I'm better than this."
"IT guy here, it's amazing what people will do on their computers and say in their emails despite having to sign a waiver that all computer activity at work is monitored and recorded.
I have half the company's banking, social media and personal email account info and passwords. I know who is secretly banging who at the office behind their spouse's backs. I know who is cybering at work and jerking it in the bathroom almost daily. At least they tell their dirty chat partner they're running off to the bathroom to stroke it, haven't felt the need to check the validity of that one. I know when people are having martial problems, financial problems, I even know one person here had their children taken away because a social worker found coke in their house. I know who is embezzling money, I know when people get fired for completely made up reasons (like they just want to replace them with someone younger and nicer on the eyes), and I know who my boss is buying 'off the record medication' from.
Basically I have a treasure trove of my coworker's secrets. I won't actively do anything with this info, but it's nice knowing I have the ammunition there if something were to ever happen."
"21years ago, I was assigned to a DMAT (Disaster Medical Assistance Team). I was a young man and full of life inside. We handled some pretty bad emergencies. There was one event that killed me inside.
We flew in to one dispatch and knew it was bad going in. Fatalities and Level 1 trauma patients. Unknown how many and no full situation.
So we are flying in gearing up for the patients and securing any hazardous material leaks or fires.
We get on scene. We find two expired, one alive with really bad injuries. We were used to that and trained to deal with it.
I was carrying gear back and forth securing any leaks I could find. We did not know if there were any other occupants in the vehicle. Part of my task that day. Was to make sure since I was the rover.
When I got to one side of the auto. Checking what was left of the cabin for other patients or bodies. I seen a child of about 4. Trapped under the vehicle. I called for the other merts. Asking for a crush kit.
There was no child seat in the auto. No one was wearing safety belts.. Which was common and many people were ejected from wrecks.
Nothing in my training ever prepared my 25 year old mind for what I saw. A child's eyes looking up at me then around. I seen help me and fear in them. Even though that small person was dead essentially. I still as always in the worst cases. Had hope for life and fought for it.
The child was smeared under the car. all that was left was the head pretty much. The pressure of the auto kept what blood was there in the brain. How the head was alive for so long. Haunted me... I resigned the next day.
I will not let someone hurt, suffer. I took an oath and meant it. I resigned because I lost all empathy for other humans that day. I do not feel suffering what so ever... I am dead inside.
You might think I am an unhappy or depressed man. No, I am not unhappy. You might think me angry. I am not angry or a sociopath. I am not. I am just indifferent to feeling emotions. the head shrinks reported I am not dangerous to myself or others. They wanted me on pills. None worked, so for the last ten years. I have simply just lived and have done my best. Being a good person. Even though I just don't care about others or myself."
"Not mine but my whole family's.
My dad got rich by associating with a scumbag that has his own construction company. Scumbag bribes city officials to approve unstable skyscrapers that would collapse with a 4.0 earthquake and my dad makes all the paperwork discretely. In exchange, multimillionaire scumbag persuades his other loaded friends to hire my dad as their lawyer.
I'm now trying to get into office in the next 30 years to revert most of what my family has contributed to. The Scumbag's company are the developers and investors and they are the ones that talk with the government and bribe them directly so that the buildings, that don't comply with the minimum safety specs, get approved.
My dad is an accomplice as he is the one that makes sure the bribes aren't traceable."
"I've pretty much been a loser all my life. When I told someone I was suicidal, they talked me out of doing it, but I laid on them a made-up story about being abused as a child, and just generally made myself seem so pitiful and helpless, they took me in to their home and treated me as one of the family: fed me, clothed me, everything, and never once asked me for anything in return.
I still live here with them 10 years later, I work in the garden and help the 5th grader with homework, I do all the grocery shopping and cooking and I live here like this all based on a pack of lies. I guess I am mentally ill somehow, but I don't know if I can ever get better w/o telling someone the truth. It makes me feel sweaty and sick in my stomach to even think about telling anyone this story.
I used to have a good job in a successful business and a fiancé I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, until I found out drinking was more important to her than anything else. She broke up with me rather than break up with the bottle and I was completely devastated. I used to spend 30 minutes or more each day at work hiding in the walk-in refrigerator and crying. I talked to everyone about the situation, the consensus was that I should just forget her and go bang some hot girls to get over it, but I just couldn't. After a few weeks I walked out of work in the middle of the day and went home to take a shower. I started taking showers like 6 times a day and started planning how to kill myself. When I met someone who was sympathetic, it was just easier to play the part of a helpless victim who had been done wrong in so many ways that I needed to be rescued and taken care of rather than take responsibility for making my own situation better."
"I'm a senior engineer at a fortune 500 company that sells narcotics after hours.
I don't need to, I make well into the 6 figures, drive an $80K car (before I started selling), but I had the opportunity to sell them relatively safely for MASSIVE ($100 into $800) profits and I do, regularly.
I don't see a huge amount of risk in it considering the circumstances. I don't sell them to street people or people I don't know. If something ever did happen I'd surely be done and my 10+ years at my company would be gone!"
"I worked for a shipping company at a customer desk. A guy I had known came in to ship a package. He was a known dealer in my town. He didn't recognize me. The package was wrapped in duct tape. I took the package, brought it out back and made it disappear into my backpack. After my shift I opened the package & found $37,890 in cash. I never went back to the job & never heard anything about it. I left Texas a month later with cash in hand."
"My military career has been the bane of my existence and biggest regret of my life. A part of my life that in large part has been kept from my wife, and has made me feel extremely undeserving of my family and daughter making it very difficult for me to have a relationship with her.
I served four years active duty army in a combat career field. I enlisted fresh out of high school with the motivation of a family legacy behind me and a strong desire to follow in my father's footsteps and to do what I felt a noble thing.
In my four years I served two tours overseas, one to Afghanistan and my second to Iraq. I found myself stupid to the ways of the world, 19 years old in the middle of a place not quite like a nightmare but close.
In a moment were my unit had stopped briefly to survey and secure an area a child approached our vehicles, not uncommon as we were frequently greeted by children who wanted MRE's, candy, etc. but this time, the child approximately 6-8 years in age approached alone, and with an SFC screaming across me to shoot him. I at the time not more than a child myself could not fathom or understand why I needed to shoot this child. It just didn't calculate, in the time I hesitated he was able to throw a grenade into one of our vehicles, severely injuring three of my unit and breaking my hesitation and momentary daze, I shot him.
I was told by other superiors I did what was expected and required of me, but just moments too late. To this day, I see his face. I have nightmares frequently of that place and at times wake up with the same feeling stinging of the sun beating down on me, and the smell of that place all too real however most of my nightmares are of that child.
I've told my wife none of this, she knows I served in the army but that's mostly all she knows of it i never told her of my deployments and plan never to do so for fear of what she'll think of me when i already think myself a monster.
When my wife told me she was pregnant, it was the happiest I'd ever been in my life, and nine months later when I first held my daughter I did not feel overwhelmed with joy. I was wracked with grief and guilt and this undeserving feeling. When I hold her, I know I should have no place in her life, nor know the joy of being a father because I've taken that from another and cant justify to myself that i should be blessed with her after having taken someone else's son from them. To have and enjoy a feeling that I've robbed someone else of us breaks my heart and makes me frequently think id be better to her as a life insurance policy than a father."
"Not me, but my dental assistant teacher once had to cover for a new dentist. He pulled the wrong tooth on a patient, and she told the patient that they missed some decay on the tooth next to it, and since they missed it, it was free. So they pulled two teeth and the guy thinks he got a deal."