Believe it or not, bookstore staff encounter some of the dumbest customer meltdowns imaginable. Be glad you get to do literally anything else instead of dealing with these customers!
The Most Absurd Tantrum
“I work at a large bookstore chain, but on this day I was a fellow customer in a different store. I had on no uniform and no name tag. I was carrying a basket of books I was planning to purchase, and I was stopping frequently to read the excerpts on the inside covers. All of a sudden, this older woman taps me on the shoulder and asks me where to find some obscure book. I told her that I wasn’t an employee, and I recommended that she ask someone at the information desk. I walk away and select another book that catches my eye. Unfortunately, this woman didn’t seem to have heard me at all. The old woman shouts at me, trying to get my attention by banging her fists on the shelving. I turn to her and exclaim, ‘LADY, I DON’T WORK HERE! ASK AN EMPLOYEE!’
Well that caused this woman to go completely ballistic. A manager overheard me and runs over, probably assuming someone had just been murdered based on my tone. The old woman demands that the manager fire me, since I was refusing to help. The manager stares at me for a second and then replies how I was not one of the employees. The old woman merely replied, ‘This woman was rude to me and I won’t stand for it! You fire her right now, or I’m calling your corporate office!’
The manager stares at me and sarcastically states how I’m fired. The old woman strutted off like it was her birthday or something, and I got a pretty good coupon for the trouble. To this day, I have no idea whether this old woman was stupid or just that determined to get somebody fired that day.”
He Can’t Read
A very important fact about working at a bookstore is that we only sell books. One day, this lady came up to me looking for a gift for her son. Apparently he was fourteen and loved computers and video games. I tried to recommend this woman a few books, but the lady stopped me to say that he doesn’t read. I had no idea how to react. I stood there in stunned silence for a few seconds before asking the lady to repeat herself. Apparently, the woman’s son didn’t read books. He only liked video games. I apologized to the woman and told her that there probably wouldn’t be anything at this bookstore that would be appealing. The lady looked supremely angry, and she immediately turned around and left the store. Every so often since then, I find myself wondering if this woman’s son ever started to read anything.”
The Parent Trap
“I work in a bookstore, and my parents like to regularly come into the store to see me and browse. For some reason, they also act like they run the entire place! They will demand a book without knowing the title, author, or where they heard about it. They’ll just give me or another employee a vague description. If we tell them there is nothing we can do and move onto another customer, they get even more angry. My dad will regularly complain loudly, within earshot of the cafe baristas, that they always get things wrong when it comes to his drink order. He always gets whipped cream when he wants none, which isn’t worth shouting over! Now at this point, I think that the employees behind the counter are doing it intentionally, since he has been so negative. My mom will rarely speak to an employee, but she insists on shopping until the ‘We are closing, kindly leave’ announcement, and even then she’ll drag her feet to leave the store. I have tried to point out the closing time announcements to my mom and move her over towards the register, but she just continues to browse, insisting that the store is still technically open and that she doesn’t have to leave.”
Old Man Onslaught
“Some male customers will desperately try to find a dude to ring up the adult magazines they buy at the bookstore I work at. The best part? There are no male employees. These dudes will spent ten to twenty minutes canvassing the entire store before performing a defeated walk of shame towards the registers. They have been trying to avoid me the entire time. It was sort of adorable at first, but now it is straight up annoying. Every time they come to the registers, they turn into an awkward teen. They sidle up to me with the furtive, awkward, sideways glance, clutching their mags to their chest as if they could hide it. Then they mumble a request for a guy to ring them up. When I say that there are no guys here, their face falls, they squirm, and they then flop the magazines on the counter. There isn’t a single guy buying adult mags who would look me in the eyes. Even standing right in front of me, they would do their best to pretend that they weren’t there, buying that thing. Really? We have an entire section dedicated to intimacy and several versions of the Kama Sutra, complete with photos of two real people actually in those poses. And have you SEEN the romance section? We’ve got erotica involving men who turn into animals for pete’s sake! A note for the older dues: take a page from the 40-something ladies I ring up once a month. They are so casual about plunking down four to six erotica books at a time. They chat with me about the weather and then go about their business, not embarrassed in the least. It’s not like I care. Seriously, get over it. You aren’t buying anything that would raise my eyebrows anymore. Stop uselessly wishing for a dude to ring you up! You’re an adult, so act like it!”
The Blonde Witch Strikes
“I was working at Borders at the time. This self-righteous blonde walked in, and I immediately knew that she would be trouble. She had a fake tan, carrying a Louis Vuitton bag on one hand and her tiny daughter with the other. She came up to the information desk, where I was unfortunately marooned for five consecutive hours on a Saturday. It was only forty-five minutes until my lunch break, and this woman was going to make those the longest minutes of my life. The Blonde Witch came up and asked me if I could watch her daughter while she looked for books on her own. I tried to tell her how, ‘I’m a stranger. You have no idea who I am, what I’ve done, and what I’m capable of. Is that the message you want to send to your daughter? That it’s okay to talk to strangers? If you are unhappy with my response, I can call my manager. He’ll tell you the exact same thing.’
The Blonde Witch was clearly upset, so I called over my manager. Thankfully my favorite manager was on duty right then. He told the woman, ‘Ma’am, kindly leave my store before I call the police or CPS on your for child neglect. If you ever set foot in here again, the police will be called immediately. We have your photo on camera. I’m print it out and post it in the back, so every employee will know what you look like. You can exit quietly, or we can make a scene.’
The Blonde Witch chose the former option, thankfully not scarring her poor daughter in the process. He seriously was the best manager ever.”
What A Giant Grump!
“I work at a college bookstore. Usually, people are really nice, but sometimes you get someone who believes the world only exists to serve them! This guy came in talking on his phone, ignoring everyone around him. He grabbed a book and walked up to the register. I asked him how his day was, but he ignores me, not even facing the counter. Okay fine, he’s on the phone, so that’s not surprising or unusual. I scan everything and tell him the total. Hearing this, he sighs, then he slowly rummages through his pockets. This guys them starts lazily throwing crumpled dollar bills and some change mixed with just trash on the counter. Clearly he was expecting me to sift through it and count it for him. Okay, fine. It turns out to be only $3.48, and the book cost $7, so I told him so. He looks at me like I’m trash, and then he pulls out his card. I ask him if he still wants to use the change. Up until this point, I didn’t really care about his behavior, but he then does this dismissive hand wave as if saying, ‘Yeah, obviously.’ Okay no, not obviously, but whatever. I pick up the change, complete the transaction, and ask if he would like the receipt. He does that same stupid hand wave again! I tell him to have a nice day, and I gladly see him walk out the door. He hadn’t said a single word to me this whole time. This wasn’t some explosive display or a sneaky con-artist, but the fact that he didn’t treat the cashier as a human being with a life and emotions is just sad. Does he treat his own family that way? Who knows.”