You Have To Have Blood Work Done
Let your boss know that you annually get your blood checked, and the doctor called you in for an “irregularity.” They will have no choice but to let you go — be aware, you might get asked for the dreaded “doctor’s note” though.
Keys Are Locked In The Car
You “accidentally” locked your key inside of your car. You have called a locksmith, but it could be “a few hours” before he can get to you.
A Relative Is Pregnant
Say that your cousin is going in to labor, and you are the only person she trusts enough to take her to the hospital.
Your Car Broke Down On The Way In
Your car broke down on the way in, and a tow truck won’t be available for “several hours.”
You’ve Been Call In For Jury Duty
You finally get called on to fulfill your civic duties. There’s no arguing with the strong-arm of the law.
You Have Lice
Lice is something that no employer wants to deal with. Tell them you have to rid your entire house of the bug too, which might buy you an extra day off!
Your Stomach Isn’t Cooperating
In layman’s terms — you have diarrhea. This won’t be questioned and you should be on your way shortly.
You Threw Your Back Out
Maybe one of the most popular excuses, just saying you threw your back out is almost a slam dunk when it comes to avoiding work. No one ever seems to question or follow up in it either.
You Have A Terrible Migraine
People who have had a migraine know just how painful they really are. Just mention the word migraine, and you should be set.
You Were Stung By A Bee
You were stung by a bee yesterday and were unaware that you were allergic to bee stings. Say your face is swollen and you are unable to safely drive in to work.
Emergency Dental Appointment
You accidentally broke your tooth, and you have to schedule an “emergency” dentist appointment.
Your Septic Tank Spilled Over
Your yard is covered in a few inches of sewage from a backed up septic tank. Not many people will question this one, and you will be on your way home.
Your Pipes Burst
You just got a call from your neighbor, telling you that your building is flooded and you have to get back immediately.
A Close Relative Was In An Accident
You just received a call that a very close relative was involved in a car accident. You aren’t sure if the accident was very serious or not, so you have to be there just in case. Unethical..yes, but if you are trying to lie to get out of work, you might not have the best intentions to start with.
You Have Food Poisoning
Just fake a few stomach cramps and blame it on your breakfast — throw in a few dry heaves for good measure.
Your Puppy Needs To Go To The Vet
Unless your boss is a cold heartless _, you should be golden with this one.