100% of the time you're going to look like a complete idiot being rude to retail employees. Luckily for us, the internet exists to document all of it!
She Went from Zero to Instant Death
“Worked at a telecom in Canada (I am no longer an employee thank god). Lady comes in with a broken iPhone is demanding to get a new one for free. If you don’t know, in Canada the iPhone 6s is going for about $400 upfront on a two year contract at a minimum $80 plan. She had a good plan, but wanted it for free. She called up our loyalty team in store and spent the next two hours screaming at them. Finally, they agree to a deal, and she is getting it for zero. She looks at me and goes I do not want a case, and AppleCare is a scam. (We work on commission, so this essentially meant I was getting nothing and ruining my numbers). She keeps telling me to hurry up through the setup and I was trying to get them out of the store with everything transferred over and set up. She grabs the phone and starts marching off saying I was a terrible employee. She gets three steps out of the store and drops the phone. Shattered screen, and white screen of death. She ran back in asking what I can do. I shrug and went ‘Sorry, but AppleCare sure would have helped eh?'”
He Totally Trashed His Order
Working the window at McDonald’s late night. Guy orders whatever and pulls up to the window. I’m cooking and handling the window, so I wasn’t there when the customer pulled up. When I walked up to the window, I didn’t see the loser had trash in his lap. I open the window to take his card/cash and he throws a bag of trash at me. I take a step back, bothered that I just got trash thrown at me, and I watch his car speed off. I’m furious, but there’s nothing I can do. A couple seconds later I hear a small bang of metal on metal. I walk to the lobby and look out the windows. The loser slammed into a police cruiser who was about to loop around and use the drive thru himself. Of course I also went to tell the officer what just happened inside.
His Handicap Was His Big Mouth
Guy comes in and is being a complete monster. Not wanting to show ID to buy adult beverages, even though he looked 20 at the oldest, constantly yelling and swearing. He also had parked in the handicap spot despite not having handicap tags or plates on his car. One of my regular customers, who is a sheriff’s deputy, was also in the store. Saw how the guy was acting. Saw where he was parked. Went out, got his ticket book, and wrote the guy a ticket. Guy realized he wasn’t getting his drinks, went outside…to find he was getting ticketed. I could not stop laughing.
Busy Manager Tells Obnoxious Guy to…
I worked at a restaurant that was very popular for brunch and Mother’s Day was probably our busiest day of the year. I had a customer call the evening before and asked for a table for six and he was incredibly rude when I informed him that this would simply be an impossibility. He kept getting more and more worked up, asking me to speak to my manager. At first I didn’t want to pass the phone over (my manager wasn’t the nicest guy and we were in the middle of a busy dinner shift) but my manager came up behind me and demanded to know why I had been on the phone for so long. I was like “Forget it, this customer isn’t going to listen to me anyways” and gave the phone to Mac. Mac asked how he could help, listened for about 15 seconds before telling this dude something like, “So you’re tying up my hostess in the middle of dinner even though she’s already told you nicely that we can’t fit you and your horrible family in the night before our busiest day of the year? Forget you buddy!” And hung up the phone.
She Doesn’t Get the Whole Consignment Thing
Currently at a consignment shop. We have two stories of furniture, and it’s only things people bring in for us to sell for some of the profit. A lady came in with her son (he was 5 or 6) and she looked around. We had two bar-stools and she came up to the desk and said “I’d like to order two more of these bar-stools” I smiled and said “We can’t do that, those belong to someone and that’s all they had to consign with us.” She looks back and says “Well why the heck can’t you order ones like this?! I’m sure you can find them online!!” I clench my teeth and smile again, saying “Ma’am we really can’t do that. If you’d like to go online you are more than welcome to look for yourself, but I can’t help you and I’m sorry.” She huffed and started walking to the door, talking about getting me fired. Making a horrible review of this place, etc. She then got a nice big face-full of door. It’s a push door and it was locked. She looks at me and screams “WHY IS THIS LOCKED?!” I have no idea. Then her son looks at her and says “Mommy you were mean to that lady and I don’t wanna go till you say sorry”. Best. Kid. Ever. (Source)
Totally Serves Her Right for Parking Her BMW HERE
It wasn’t the customer, it was the manager. She was AWFUL. She was rude, intentionally picked out favorites and gave them presents in front of everyone (even when they didn’t like her and tried to avoid it), messed up schedules on purpose for people she didn’t like, etc etc. Worst manager ever. So there was a huge storm coming in, and people were really worried about it. Like the news telling people to stay home, other businesses closing, etc. So it was up to her to either keep our store open or close it. Of course, she kept it open. Because schools closed only half our scheduled employees showed up, the rest called in – and she called her favorites and told them they didn’t have to come in. Well as the like 5 of us who showed up were standing there, watching out the front windows (there were ZERO customers) she starts yelling at us, threatening to write us all up etc, and we are like – no one is here, all the work is done, we are watching the wind BEND TREES OVER and worried about if we are safe/will be able to get home. Right about this time we hear a SUPER LOUD crashing noise. CAHCHUNK – CAHCHUNK – CAHCHUNK – CAHCHUNK – WHAM! As the industrial air conditioner on top of the building got BLOWN OFF. Like it rolled along the roof, then went flying into the parking lot. – Right onto her car. It was so perfect it was surreal. Dead center, smashed her car flat. Like if she had been in it, she would have died. And it only happened because she parked right up by the building, where we had SPECIFICALLY been told not to park. All our cars were out in the farthest corner of the lot. We later found out her car wasn’t paid off, it was some stupidly expensive BMW or something, and her insurance didn’t cover the damage because it was an “act of god”.
He Heard the Door Lock and Realized His Mistake
Working drive thru at a Tim Hortons and some nightmare a massive black truck parked too far away from the window and expected me to lean super far out to give him his change. He was real impatient and just really rude. I just shook my head and so he gets all angry and finally gets out of the truck and the door shut behind him. It was locked and he sat there for like 15 minutes and we had to call a tow truck. Sure it ticked everyone behind him but at least they were all angry off at him and not us! He acted like it was the biggest embarrassment of his life.
He Lost It, and So Did His Pooch
Warehouse worker here. Customers have to show a card to shop, and even though we’re not technically a grocery store, we don’t allow pets. One dude tried to power walk past the employee at the entrance door holding a big pit bull puppy on a leash. We stopped him and told him he couldn’t bring his dog inside and he LOST IT. He’s our best customer and he’s here 5 times a week and he owns stock, blah. Whatever. He demanded to know why we don’t allow dogs. We explained how it’s a food safety issue, especially with an untrained puppy. At this point our manager came over and just waved him through (bc no backbone/customers always right). Well not even 5 minutes later this dog squats in the middle of the main aisle and pees, followed by poop. The man turned so red and dragged the dog towards the exit, abandoning his groceries. We stopped him and asked him nicely to please clean up after his pup. “That’s the reason we don’t allow them, sir”
It’s a Small World for Buddies
I was a server during college at an upper scale restaurant. I rarely had problems with customers and am overall genuinely friendly. I had a table for 4 with only 3 patrons there, an older couple with their adult daughter. I served them beverages and was told we were to wait for patron #4 the son. About 40 minutes and 2 refills go by. I say “I bet you guys are starving by now, would you like me to bring you our lettuce wraps? They are small enough to not ruin your appetite, or are we still waiting for my buddy?” The father said “we are going to wait, and he isn’t your buddy. Frankly you don’t know him, he’s a hard working man and will be respected” “You’re right sir, forgive me.” “He actually has a real job.” “I understand sir, it won’t happen again.” When I come back for refill number 3 the son was arriving. The son happened to be an old high school friend, before taking a seat he gave me a hug right in front of his dad.
I looked at the father and said “Small world huh, I can’t believe you’re my old buddy [name]’s family I’m surprised we’ve never met before with [name] and I spending so much time together in high school ” It’s too bad our restaurant didn’t serve crow.
His Fake Power Walk Ended Unexpectedly
I work at a hotel’s front desk. One day we had an Armenian guest who was claiming his the room was not up to his standards and decided to make a big deal about it the next morning. He was so rude to the point of almost making a co-worker cry of desperation because she refused to compensate the night as his arguments seemed really fake and invalid. Once he saw he was going to get nothing back he threw his receipt on the floor and powered walked his way out into a very clean glass door that was recently cleaned. His sunglasses broke causing him a small cut on the upper part of his nose. My co-worker and I couldn’t stop laughing the second he walked out even more mad.
Stubborn Grandma Learns Important Lesson About Kids and Gravity
It was the best day of my life. I work in a small café, it was about 10.30 am on a weekday morning, nice and quiet. In comes this woman (must be about 58-62 ish) and her husband and their grandchild. The wee boy was adorable, and the grandmother was all over him. He sat beside her and she constantly talked to him, ignoring her husband. Everything is fine, someone takes their order and then I go to take stuff over. The wee boy’s milk is ready first, just milk in a Styrofoam cup with a lid and straw. He must be 2 or 3 and that’s just what we do for kids that age. I take it over and she looks at me like I’ve put a turd on the table. She says she wanted it in a cup and I explain the only cups we have are coffee mugs, they’re heavy for a small child, and it’s easy to spill stuff out of them. She says she wants it anyway, so I go back to the bar area. When I go back up another girl is taking over a latte and another coffee. The woman goes mental “DO YOU NOT USE CUPS IN HERE?” because she got a latte glass, so we bring that back too. Just as I’m about to take the milk in a mug back her sandwich is ready, so I take it over with the milk. She looks at the sandwich like it’s the last straw. “That’s not chicken, that’s revolting!” I explain that, as it says on the menu, it’s chicken and parmesan mayonnaise. She shakes her head like I’m an idiot and just thrusts it back at me. I ignore her, don’t ask if she wants something else, I just walk away. Then I hear a yell and a crash. The wee boy picked up the mug of milk, it must have been too heavy because he dropped it, soaking both himself and the grandmother and smashing the cup on the floor. Sure, we had to clean it up but my smugness was as close as I dared get to “I told you so”.
Everyone Gave Him Dirty Looks for THIS
I was a cashier at a grocery store. This guy with a full cart complained and bullied employees until he was allowed to use my express checkout because he didn’t want to wait in the regular lines, and my line only had two people in it. As soon as my floor manager allowed him and he had his cart unloaded, a tiny old lady with a walker who could barely stand got in line behind him. Everyone gave him dirty looks. He realized he messed up and tried to make a joke about it. Dead silence. I hope his saved time was worth being a monster.
She Should Have Kept Her Mouth Shut
Lady lays into me for the amount of the bill, called me every bad word in the english language. Says we over billed her, she requested I go through her order. Come to find out we under billed her by a $1000 dollars due to a misplaced zero. The silence on the other line was so beautiful.
Store Clerk Busts Out Laughing at Her Ridiculous Mistake
I worked in this fancy clothing store in this posh town at the seaside. It was a busy Saturday when suddenly a very pretentious girl walked in with her boyfriend, ignoring us as we greeted her and even giving my colleague a demeaning look. She went on to browse around in the store and eventually took some clothes with her in the changing booth. After a while I notice a heated conversation arising from the booth between her and her boyfriend. I see the boyfriend running back and forth between the booth and some clothing racks, in the meantime me and my colleague where being chased away by her (she refused any help and didn’t leave the booth) as if we were a couple of ebola patients. So my colleague and I continue working and helping other costumers. I was working the register when suddenly the girl turns up next to me, completely ticked off, and she starts ranting about “How our store/brand really should work on the fitting of our clothes and how we were complete mess ups”. I was completely caught of guard and right when I wanted to ask her what the exact problem was, I see my colleague looking at the girl while bursting out this horribly loud laugh, tears and all. What had happened was that the girl had taken with her a clothing piece she thought was a strapless dress. Well, it wasn’t a dress. It was a skirt. The girl had tried on all sizes and got completely fed up, yelling at us and her boyfriend because the FREAKIN “DRESS” WON’T FIT. So she walked out in a crowded store, making a scene, with a skirt pulled up to her chest. I have to admit, after she left I laughed till crying.
Nerdy Guy Thinks He’s Tough – Cops Think Differently
Worked at Best Buy for longer than I’d like to admit. One week we had an advertised clearance sale on a discontinued item. Guy comes in already irritated because his GPS took him to the wrong place (totally my fault right?). He wants to buy the clearance item but we’re out of stock and since its discontinued I can’t order him a new one. As was company policy at the time I offered to sell him the display unit at an even greater discount. He immediately flips out and starts screaming and cursing at me about “bait and switch” threatening to call the cops because he thinks it’s illegal and getting in my face like he’s going to hit me. This guy is half my size and dressed like Woody Allen in Annie Hall, the text book definition of physically non-threatening. So I laughed at him and told him to go ahead and call the cops. The police hear his insane tone and agitated demeanor and immediately send an officer to remove him from the store.
Tires Screeching, His New Mercedes Hit the Curb and…
Worked at a gas station some odd years ago and the week before it had been snowing a lot so the gas tankers got delayed due to safety reasons. A customer came in a pretty new Mercedes-Benz, something like SLS 400 or something and wanted the premium gas. I explained to him that the tankers are delayed and we currently don’t have any premium gasoline and that he could try the next station down the block. He started swearing at me personally like I have control over the gas delivery. He sped off tires screeching only to have his rear tire hit the curb. His rim got messed up really bad and couldn’t drive it. I laughed at him.
This Grinch Got a Not So Nice Christmas Surprise
I worked at a Pier 1 Imports as a teenager, outside Birmingham, AL. This was about 20 years ago and transgender folks weren’t on my radar at all. Anyway, it’s near Christmas, I’m at the register with a line of customers waiting. There’s a woman huffing about something near the end of the line. By the time she gets up to pay, she’s being very loud about the customer behind her. “It’s a man! It’s a deviant in a dress!” The person behind her was very obviously born a man but was in fact wearing a dress. It didn’t really phase me as much as this woman who was doing her best to shame this person, who looked very hurt and embarrassed. And this lady was doing it while buying Christmas decorations, no less. Anyway, she’s trying to convince me how wrong and gross it is, how this person shouldn’t be in the store, etc. As she’s ranting I run her credit card. Declined. I try again. Declined. I have rarely in my life experienced the satisfaction as I did at that moment, looking up at her, smiling, and saying that her card had been declined. Her face got red and she really just went off. “THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE! TRY IT AGAIN! YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!” At this point, she has the whole store looking at her. I try again, and very loudly say it is, in fact, declined. She stormed out of there, knocking over a poor Santa statue by the door. I shared a smug grin with the customer behind her.
This Soldier is Slick, but Doesn’t Notice…
Worked on USMC base in the store that sold the uniforms. We had like 2 people walk in that morning. I was slacking off, trying to take a nap inside a clothes rack. A grunt walked into my section, to browse camo fatigue “covers” (hats). He didn’t know I was there, so I just kept quiet. Watched him swap out his nasty old cover with a new one and walk out. Brought it up to my boss, and that’s when I notice the guy’s name and number were written inside, which were relayed to the MP’s. (Source)
Two Snaps Up for This Drag Queen’s Sass
Let me preface my story by saying I work near Baltimore. Yeah. So, I manage a plus size women’s clothing store. We actually get a surprising amount of…lets call them ‘non-traditional’ customers. Guys who need a dress for a charity show, cross dressers, gender-fluid people, transgender women, and drag queens aren’t unheard of. So a drag queen comes into the store to pick up some shoes they ordered online. They must have been either coming from or going to a show because they were still in full makeup. I get their name and during our conversation another customer walks in. I call out a greeting and say something like, “I’ll be right with you.” I go to the back room, and it takes a minute to go through all the web orders. I find the one I need and am on my way back to the counter, when the new customer throws her arm out to stop me from passing. She then says, “I am a new customer and I’ve been here for 20 minutes and no one has spoken to me.” A.) I greeted her when she came in and B.) She had only been in the store for 5 minutes at that point
I resigned myself to groveling, but before I could say anything the queen stomps over, glares at the customer, and says, “Witch, she said hello to you.”
Complete with sassy finger snaps. The Queen then made a big show of thanking me for getting her package, and gave me a big sparkly kiss on the cheek before she left. The other customer sheepishly paid for her Spanx and didn’t make eye contact when I told her to have a good day. (Source)
His Wad of Cash? Gone in a Flash
I used to work at a bank branch…. A client was being very disrespectful to a female staff member. Literally 2 minutes later our bank was robbed at the teller he was using… His $5K was taken right off the counter before it could be negotiated. Eventually it was covered by the bank but at the time I can imagine him being worried.
She Got Their Car into a Close Scrape
In the auto repair business, we must deal with a lot of passive-aggressiveness from people displeased with having to shell out money for their cars. Once, a couple arrived to pick up a car which was parked in the first spot nearest the street. The husband was great, and had approved the needed repairs in stride; the wife was a raging witch, debating every line item of the estimate, asking pointless questions, demanding a cheaper price, threatening to take the car elsewhere or “just get a NEW one!” Anyway, the man made his way toward the office, but the woman made a beeline for the car, found the keys stashed inside, threw the plastic seat cover to the wind, then started it up and drove off (before the bill had been paid), cutting the turn too sharp and scraping the ENTIRE passenger side of the car badly on the low concrete planter. I saw this happen; the husband didn’t. Never saw them again.
Well, He Didn’t Need Another Drink Anyway
Customer came in extremely wasted, couldn’t really speak, stumbling everywhere. We refused to sell to him and he flipped out. Ended up kicking him out with threat of calling the police. He went down the street to another store, and as he walked back past our store he yelled some very mean things at us and immediately tripped, shattering the bottle he bought on the sidewalk. Was a glorious sight.
The Pizza Order Was Wrong, But So Was She
Standing at the counter of the pizza place I work at. Lady storms in and slams a pizza down on the counter. “This isn’t the flipping pizza I ordered, what the heck are you going to do about it?” She asked. I look at the pizza then at my buddy Nick and turn back to her and say, “Nothing”. She then goes on a long rant telling how we are going to be fired, how stupid and incompetent we were, she actually told me I must be an idiot, then asked why the heck we weren’t going to do anything? I said “Because that pizza came from the pizza shop across the street.” I think she actually managed to shrink in size and slink out looking so pathetic and beaten I almost felt bad for laughing till tears dripped down my face as she slunk off.
Her Black Friday Head Trip Cost Her Big Time
Worked at Best Buy 10 or so years ago, this happened on Black Friday. Most of the customers were in bad moods since they’d been waiting hours to come in and stand in more lines. But this one lady was a raging witch. After yelling at everyone in my department about how she NEEDED the laptop that was on sale despite it being sold out, she proceeds to tell us she’ll have the store closed down because she “works with the city and knows the fire marshall and we have too many people in the store.” So she calls him, we tell her to leave, and nothing happens to the store. However we called them as well to report what she’d said, and she got fired from her job for abuse of power.
Their License Plate Gave Them Away
More than a few decades ago I worked at Denny’s. I had two male customers that decided to dine and dash. Got their license plate number and reported it to the cops and jokingly mentioned that they didn’t even tip! Later that night they got pulled over for driving under the influence, cops recognized license plate number from the report, brought them both back to the restaurant and forced them to pay the bill. After he was done paying, the cop just stood there and looked at them and said well? The guy sheepishly handed me my tip.
Rant Over, She Stormed Out and Forgot Her Bundle of…
I used to return customer credit cards by setting them on the Square podium used to swipe them so they ended up right by them when I swung the screen around from them to sign and such. One lunch rush (take out restaurant) one lady decided this was an offense of the highest order and yelled at me for not placing it directly in her hand. I stupidly engaged her and tried to explain that I did that for everybody which got me a continued lecture about how she is the customer and good service is doing what she wants and so on. There were about a dozen people eating at our tables and five people in the line behind her so she was straight hamming it up, making sure everyone saw her putting me in my place. Unfortunately for her, the dramatic performance proved to be a bit too distracting and she stormed out without her infant. This was of course noticed by pretty much everyone in the building since she had just made herself the center of attention. One of the customers even had to run after her and stop her from driving away. For the record there is no real subtle way to pick up a full size child carrier.
He Spent $50 on What?
Alright, bank worker. I had a customer throwing a fit once. Said he sees a charge for $50 on his account and blames us for not keeping his account secure. Throws a fit that rages on for a half hour. Turns out he forgot he used $50 for a male cam service. This was discovered when my customer service rep looked at his account and googled who the charge was from.
This Guy Launched Himself Into TV
Used to sell mattresses, which no one really wants to buy. No ones jacked about buying; they do it because they have to. I get it; everyone that works there gets it. One Saturday, this cranky old dude comes in, and before anyone can greet him, he’s complaining about literally everything. We’re trying to help him, but he shoos anyone who approaches him away. Of course, then he turns around to complain about no one helping him. Dude is old, like I said, and he can’t get around well. We recommend he not lay down on an all foam mattress if he won’t let anyone help him up. He says something rude and blows us off. He hobbles over to a foam mattress, one that is right next to a wall. This wall also has a TV display sticking about 8 inches out from the wall, and it constantly plays ads. Old man lays down on the bed and immediately hates it. He sits up, and he realizes it will be difficult for a man in his condition to get off the bed, but he won’t ask for help. Dude launches himself off the mattress and straight into the TV display. My manager loses it. The guy tries to bark at us, but everyone else is too busy trying not to laugh, so he gives up and cranky-walks out of the store.
Laziness Leads to His Most Embarrassing Moment
I work at Starbucks. One day as I was working the drive through, we were having longer than normal wait times, as we were short-staffed. This one guy gets up to the window in a huff, and starts yelling at me/complaining about his wait. I apologize and tell him his total. He literally throws his credit card at me, and it bounces off the bottom of the window directly underneath his truck. We look at each other for a second, and then he sends his daughter out of his truck to look for it. I inform them it’s right under their truck, so he moves his truck up a bit, gets out, picks it up and hands it to me softly without making eye contact (as he is squeezing himself between the tail end of his truck and the wall of the building), being pretty embarrassed as everyone behind him is watching. It was pretty satisfying.
His Sneaky Plan Was a Blow Out
I work at an auto parts store. This one guy stole some $60 headlights and literally sprinted out the door. We went to look outside to try and get his license plate, just in time to see him speed off, hit a curb, and blow out his tire. Called the cops and the moron got arrested and had to have his car towed.