Sometimes It's Best To Lay Low In The Beginning

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Sometimes It's Best To Lay Low In The Beginning

"Hired a woman just out of college. Fired her on her first day of work. She'd just gone through orientation and was sitting through a brief introductory speech by the CEO. She decides to interrupt the CEO and starts lecturing him about how the company doesn't have a good enough web presence. He tells her that they can discuss it later. She gets louder, talking over him about how he 'doesn't know what he is doing.' He told her she didn't work here anymore, she could leave. She starts sobbing and yelling that she's just trying to help. She had moved across the country for the job.

Man, we dodged a bullet on that one."

Taking Advantage Of The Situation?

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Taking Advantage Of The Situation?

"Fired him in about an hour. The kid was a temp-hire and we set him up at his job, showed him what to do, and turned him loose. There was a can of degreaser sitting with the machine he was operating. I came into my office and sat down, looked up, and watched him pick up a shop rag, spray a lot of degreaser on it, then he pressed it into his face and started huffing it. Deeply. I got up, went over to him, and said, 'Come on, son,' and walked him to the door. I asked the temp agency to please attempt to weed out a little better."

Lying His Way Into A Job Was A Dumb Move For This Guy And It Ended At The Hospital
Lying His Way Into A Job Was A Dumb Move For This Guy And It Ended At The Hospital

"I hired this big Michael Clark Duncan looking dude who claimed he had experience in a kitchen, had some higher end stuff on there and talked the talk well. Nobody could get a hold of his references, but we were short-staffed and needed a body and he'd interviewed really well.

Day one: the man has no clue at all about any of the big kitchen basics, and we start questioning our decision. But we figure maybe he's nervous, or hungover (it is a kitchen after all) and we let it ride another day.

Day two: he comes in and starts prepping, and I'm keeping half an eye on him. I see him grab some potatoes for soup, and next thing you know, he mutters about the chef's knife being dull, and instead of sharpening it with the whetstone on hand, or even using a steel, he grabs a 10 inch flexible boning knife and starts wobbling and forcing his way through a large russet. It's not going well. I pipe up 'Hey! That's the wrong tool for the job. What are you doing?' He says 'Nah, man, I got this.'

As I try protesting again to tell him, 'No dude, seriously, you are going to bleed,' I see the potato roll out of his grip, the knife spring off of the side of it and sink itself into his left hand and out the back side.

I'd never seen a black dude go pale before that day, but he sure did. I then proceeded to tell him we were going to the hospital, leave it in and I'll grab a towel. This guy yanks the blade out of his hand and covers my prep table, slicer, and wall with blood in the process. I handed him the towel, he wraps up, and tells me he's good to drive to the hospital and would be back as soon as he could. I told him he didn't need to come back until the next day to pick up his paycheck. He freaks out, and I have to call him on his nonsense and list about a dozen unsafe or unhygienic practices that are enough to cause me to let him go, let alone the fact that he just stuck a knife through his frigging hand after being told not to use it.

You can lie your way into a lot of jobs, but you can't lie your way into a kitchen."

Shady Business On His First Days On The Job

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Shady Business On His First Days On The Job

"He came in the night after his first training shift. He wasn't scheduled. Didn't tell anyone he was there. He went into one of our female resident's rooms. It's unclear what he did while he was in there as this particular resident wasn't able to speak. It was during a night shift when there was 3 staff total in the entire building, so no one saw him until 4 am when it was time for the next round.

There was no physical evidence of abuse towards the resident (we called investigators and did a thorough exam) so he wasn't charged with anything but he was immediately fired and was blacklisted from our company.

The resident started to act out aggressively soon after this. I really hope it was just from the progression of the disease and not because he did anything to her. She showed textbook signs of being violated, but without the physical evidence to back it up our hands were tied."

The Temp Agency Replaced The Original Hire!

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The Temp Agency Replaced The Original Hire!

"A temp we hired for a project interviewed well. He was well dressed, a bit on the svelte side, spoke perfect English with the barest hint of a London accent. He looked you in the eye and had a ton of credentials. If anything, he seemed overqualified for what was essentially a grunt lab position.

The first day of work, he went to orientation. I got a call from someone who worked in that building that said my new temp was a real piece of work. He sat in the conference room, slipped his shoes off, and propped his feet on the chairs in front of him. Okay? He also brought in a huge, sloppy, highly spiced pastrami grinder. He left that mess behind.

He slapped the behind of someone over there. She reported it. But I didn't hear about that officially from HR until day 3.

Day 2 he showed up to the computer lab. He was a completely different person. I mean, like a different human: he was squat, overweight, different face and hair. Had a thick accent. I didn't know who he was, but he was not the guy we hired. The only similarity was his ethnicity. But he was completely not the same person. This guy was gross and completely inept.

We went over his resume and I got a copy of his ID. He wasn't even a US citizen. I had never come across this before: the temp company pulled a bait and switch. On Day 3, he was 2 hours late, but by that point, I had the permission to fire him based on his lack of being a US citizen.

We later found out this temp agency would send the nice guy for the interview, and then send someone of the similar race to the job with the same name, and then had gotten away with it for quite some time. But usually the guy they sent was not this poor of a worker, so they finally got caught."

Give Her Some Credit, She Was Bold

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Give Her Some Credit, She Was Bold

"I had a person who was all smiles in the interview to be a personal banker. She seemed to have a knack for sales, and just, really sharp. Within the first hour of her starting, post-training, she attempted to deposit $100,000 into a dummy account she had set up. There was no money, just a fake deposit.

It set off about a million red flags in the system that alerted me, my boss and my boss' boss. She said she was using it for 'training.' Her not knowing this was not correct at all apparently means the training didn't take...

Time from clocking in the first day, post-training, to being fired/arrested: 20 minutes, with10 of those were waiting for the police to arrest her."

A Daycare Worker That Didn't Do The Dirty Work

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A Daycare Worker That Didn't Do The Dirty Work

"I work at a daycare. I watched my supervisor fire someone on the first day.

Most of our new hires are actually middle-aged women. 90% of them are awesome but a lot of them feel super entitled because they're middle-aged. Doesn't help that I'm only 23 either.

Anyway, it was our new hire's first day of work. She seems ok, doesn't make too much of an effort with the kids. Not that abnormal, sometimes it takes time to get comfortable with other people's kids.

We change diapers on a schedule unless they poop or obviously need a change. I've changed a couple diapers already and noticed she doesn't lift a finger if the kid needs a change. 10 am rolls around which is when we change every kid.

I ask her to help me. She seems surprised and goes:

'Oh, I don't change diapers, honey.'

Yep, this lady refused to change diapers. She took a job caring for babies...

She was fired maybe an hour later."

Maybe He Should Have Read The Job Description A Little Closer

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Maybe He Should Have Read The Job Description A Little Closer

"I let some poor kid go after 30 minutes. He didn't want to quit because it was his first job, and he bought scrubs entirely for this occasion- but he was clearly in over his head the second he started his orientation (to my own credit, he interviewed like a CHAMP, and some people are just really good at saying all the right things).

I asked if he would feel better if he was fired (my intention being to remind him the 'fired' is a bad thing, so if he doesn't think he can hang- he should quit on his own terms). He said, 'yes,' so I fired him. He shook my hand and told me I had nice eyebrows and left. The next day he emailed me to let me know he was quitting. I told him there were no hard feelings since he was already fired. I have now learned to ask every PHLEBOTOMIST (people that draw blood) applicant if they are comfortable being exposed to blood. Thanks Connor."

She Seemed To Not Understand What "On Time" Meant

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She Seemed To Not Understand What "On Time" Meant

"They lasted about 63 minutes of on the clock time. It was the manager at a vegan spot in NYC. The girl was so nice and motivated during the interview, she gave me great vibes and I was excited to bring her on. The very first day she's 4 hours late to her 5 hour training shift. She said she overslept... her shift started at 5 PM ON A TUESDAY. Lots of red flags but I'm a nice guy and she said she needed the money and it'd never happen again.

LITERALLY THE NEXT DAY she comes in 2 hours late and wasted. The first words out of her mouth were not an excuse or an apology or anything. She asks me, 'Can I get $100 upfront from my first check after my shift so I can go out with my girl tonight, it's her birthday.'

I didn't even fire her. I just banned her from ever coming back."

A Compromised Condition

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A Compromised Condition

"I managed a gas station for a while. I hired this guy who seemed completely normal, which was hard to come by so I had him start the next day. After about 30 mins of working, he says he needs a break. No big deal, something must have come up. Maybe 10 minutes later a customer came in saying a man was passed out in the men's restroom. I send another guy working into the restroom and the dude I just hired was naked and completely unresponsive. Paramedics come and turns out he overdosed. He survived but I still never got an answer on why he was naked."

No, No, Peanut Allergies Are Very Real

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No, No, Peanut Allergies Are Very Real

"She didn't even make it through the office tour.

We hire a lot of seasonal workers, and last year we had a girl with one of the LEGIT 'small particles of peanut dust will absolutely kill her dead' peanut allergies. So we put up a few reminder signs, had some peanut-free dishes and forks in the kitchen, that kind of stuff. The new girl started a few weeks after most of the rest of the group, and when I was showing her around she pointed to the signs and asked sarcastically if we were serious. She looked genuinely surprised when I said they were VERY serious, and then she smirked and said, 'you actually believe someone can die from peanuts?' and followed it up with 'stuff like that isn't real, you'll see.'

I asked a few questions to make sure she wasn't trying to make a terrible joke, and then went full manager speak and asked if she'd be able to follow the kitchen rules to keep her coworkers safe, and when it was obvious she was serious I told her she was done for the day and she could head home. I don't have hire/fire powers so I was a little worried when I took it to our boss - if she denied it, it would be her word against mine. Fortunately, when my boss took her aside to ask what happened, she replied 'He getting all weird about someone who's pretending to have one of those fake peanut allergies.' From what I hear, she was completely, genuinely shocked when she was fired."

Corporate Espionage?

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Corporate Espionage?

"I worked for a major 3 lettered computer company. A new service tech was hired. Once he logged in, he pulled out a portable hard drive from his backpack, connected it to his machine, and started to copy everything he had access to. Within 3 hours security was escorting him out the door."

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

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Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

"My job recently hired a woman to work at our restaurant & she got fired within 2 days due to harassment. We believe she had an addiction & have now changed our interviewing procedures.

She would go up to the desk & smack the receptionist's butt (the receptionist grabbed her hand & cussed her out the third time she tried doing it). She was being trained by our male manager and she placed his hand on top of her crotch and kept telling him, 'My mother lives down the street, we can just hang out there, babe (yes, she called him babe). We can go there really quick. We could all go.' She pushed her chest into him intentionally while bumping into him. She also hit on all the customers."

It Almost Turned Violent

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It Almost Turned Violent

"She showed up on her first day high. She was super angry when I sent her home and told me I was going to make her lose her children since the judge said she HAD to have this job - complete nonsense since was hired for the holidays (retail). It didn't stop me from being scared for the next few weeks, the woman looked like she wanted to hurt me."

A Sleeping Man Loses

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A Sleeping Man Loses

"I usually sit in with the manager during interviews.

They decided to bring in a contractor; I didn't think much of his technical skills during the interview, but the manager decided to give him a chance.

He fell asleep during his orientation, then twice at his desk. This was his first day, before lunch."

She Took A Little Too Much Initiative

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She Took A Little Too Much Initiative

"I worked at a boarding kennel for a few years and really loved it. It's hard, loud, dirty work but I like animals and dogs are the best. We also boarded exotics which was really cool.

The boss hires on this gal that seemed a little off. During training, she'd stare off into space and not really acknowledge me. But when I walked her through the process of feeding and cleaning kennels she did it just fine. So I set her on her way. Her first real day of work she went out to clean the kennels, scoop poop, and grab the wet bedding and replace it. This is a long process. Takes 2 hours if you really know the work. Well, 6 hours into her shift no one has seen her. So I go hunting and easily half the kennels aren't done, and a lot of doors are open. For dog safety, you just don't do that. Now I can't find the girl or four of the dogs. I run to the boss because I genuinely thought this girl had stolen someone's pets. The whole team goes looking for her. We knew the boss found her because she's a screamer.

She's got these 4 BIG dogs; a Malamute, a great Dane and two shepherds, all on leashes tied to the fence and she's giving them baths in the owner's horse trough. We don't groom, she brought the shampoo from home in her lunch box. She didn't understand why the boss was mad, 'it's so hot and they looked so unhappy. Look at how happy the OTHER TEN I ALREADY DID are!' The boss literally dragged her to her car kicking and screaming because we 'abuse dogs!'

So yeah. 6 hours."

Apparently Coffee Wasn't Strong Enough

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Apparently Coffee Wasn't Strong Enough

"I hired a kid to work opening shifts at a local pool. We were short staffed so he was learning the ropes with me on a 5 am shift. As we opened he asked if he could make a quick cup of coffee. I agreed, asking him to make me one. Around 5 minutes later a swimmer comes up to me and said she saw my lifeguard snorting something. I was obviously ticked and went to go see what was going down. I go up to the window and saw him doing another line. After a short argument, he finally decided to just leave and not make me test him. He lasted a whole 10 minutes of us being open."

She Lived Up To Her Appearance

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She Lived Up To Her Appearance

"We hired this server who had been waiting tables her whole life and was a GM of a restaurant for about 10 years at one point. She was the typical trashy woman with stringy hair and baggy sweaters that smelled like stale smoke. Anyways, she somehow makes it through training (barely) and shows up for her first shift late and HAMMERED. She walks to the back booth and proceeds to pass the eff out. A different manager tried stirring her awake, then poking and shaking her a little. Nothing worked. Finally, he just roared her name and she woke up and he told her to leave and they'd mail her a check. As she is tottering away yelling obscenities and flipping everyone off."

She Lost More Money Than She Made

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She Lost More Money Than She Made

"I had a bartender who lost money her first shift by herself. The drawer started with $200, came back with $140. She had worked 6 hours and did not have many credit card tips or anything, so she 'somehow' managed to spend all of her tips + $60 without leaving the building. Yeah, fired."

Its Starts With No Work, Then Drinking For Lunch And Finally Ends In Cuffs

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Its Starts With No Work, Then Drinking For Lunch And Finally Ends In Cuffs

"I had a guy who said everything I wanted to hear during the interview. I hired him into a lead position and put him on an easy job site the following day. I show up at 10 am to see how he was doing and he wasn't. He hadn't done anything of value. He has set up one ladder. I ask him if he was ok and if he needed a hand getting his feet wet. He assured everything would be done on schedule and tells me a decent plan of execution.

I leave to the next job site for an inspection feeling confident he would kick some butt. After the inspection, I swung back by and the guy hadn't done any more work. I find his crew shooting the bull and they tell me he went to a dental appointment! I call him... no answer. I set up the guys and get them going on the job after a half day was completely wasted. And I guess he was wasted too. I get a call from one of my guys on a delivery and he says one of my trucks is in front of the VFW.

I drive over to investigate and sure enough, Liar McGee is pounding $2 brews and smoking every square in town. I ask the bartender if I can send him a drink. She filled a pint then I wrote him a check for his time onsite and put it in the beverage and she brought it to him. He looked at the pint funny then the bartender pointed at me and he looked at me with a shocked expression. I waved and said, 'Your services are no longer needed.' And walked out.

He ran out and said he was just taking an early lunch. I told him he was free to do so and took the truck keys from him and drove back to the job site. He had broken the driver side headlight by the time I came back for the truck later that afternoon. But apparently he did it in front of a crowd and someone called the cops on him and he ended up getting arrested for resisting. Some people live the hard way."

Name, Rank and...Place Of Employment?

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Name, Rank and...Place Of Employment?

"I got a call from the county jail because this girl I had just hired had been arrested and she refused to give any info to the police except for the fact that she worked for this particular store. They called me trying to figure out her info and a person to contact about her arrest. I told them I couldn't give out that info but I would call her emergency contact to let them know that she was in jail.

I call this girl's emergency contact (who was her mom) and told the mom that her daughter was currently sitting in jail. All the mom said was, 'figures' and she hung up on me. I found out later she got arrested for assaulting a taxi driver. She didn't want to pay and he told her she had to and I guess she got out of the car and punched him through his window.

After she was released from jail, about two days later, she ended up in the hospital getting her stomach pumped for drinking too much. So yeah, she was only with us for a week and missed three days over all this so I had to fire her. The worst part is that I actually liked her."

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