Even if you never watched “Seinfeld,” you probably know the name George Constanza. George was a perpetual deadbeat, trying to coast by without having to put any work in. Simply put, if he can pull down these jobs, so can you!
Unemployed
Unemployment isn’t a job, but it sure seems like one when you are. George milks this benefit for as long as he can, essentially making “keeping unemployment” a full-time job.
Kruger Industrial Smoothing
While his official title is never revealed, George works for Kruger Industrial during Season 9. Kruger’s laid back atmosphere appealed to George, until he earned the unfortunate nickname “Koko.” George never seemed like a “T-Bone” to us either.
Sales Representative
George starts working at Sanalac, a rest stop supply company, during Season 5. While he is never officially offered the job, George somehow showed up and started working. George eventually quits when he thinks he’s been offered a job with another company, which ultimately never panned out.
Playground Equipment Sales Representative
During Season 9, George gets hired on at Play Now Sports. He pretends to be handicapped to receive his own private bathroom. They caught on to his act pretty quick. Play Now files for bankruptcy before George can be fired — after he lasts a total of 14 days there.
Sitcom Writer
NBC offers Jerry his own sitcom in Season 4, and George convinces Jerry that they can write it together. George almost blows the deal with NBC twice, mainly from asking for more money than they deserved. The pilot eventually airs and the new NBC president chooses to pass on the project.
Manuscript Reader
Elaine gets George a job with her at Pendant Publishing in Season 3. George ends up working late one night and sleeps with the cleaning lady on his desk. When his boss finds out, George is fired immediately.
Hand Model
George is discovered by a model agency in Season 5 — or, actually, Georges hands were discovered. When an agent notices his flawless hands, George does everything he can to preserve his hands, but to no avail. He ends up burning them on an iron when pushed by Kramer’s girlfriend.
Real Estate Agent
Season 1 opens up with George working at a real estate agency. George quits when he is told to use the shared public bathrooms. Thinking everyone will assume he was joking, he shows up to work on Monday as if nothing happened. George is humiliated in front of everyone and leaves.
Computer Salesman
George works as a salesman for his father’s computer company in Season 9. His rival Lloyd Braun is his co-worker and competition. George decides to sell all the computers to himself, with the intention of returning them, just to beat Lloyd. This backfires when Kramer destroys all the computers.
Parking Attendant
George tries his hand as a parking attendant in Season 2. He joins an old man who moves cars on the street to prevent them from getting tickets. George is distracted one day by Woody Allen, which causes him to crash in to an ambulance. Needless to say, he was fired after the incident.
Bra Salesman
George’s father gets him an interview at E.D. Grammont Bras. He is hired because of his fond passion of brassieres. Although, he is quickly fired after feeling up the material of the CEO’s business suit.
Assistant To The Traveling Secretary
George is somehow hired by the Yankees after he berates owner Mr. Steinbrenner’s for his recent trades. He successfully holds this job for a few seasons before he is “traded” to Tyler Chicken, all from a lie he created about being from the south.
Marine Biologist
While he never actually held this position, George constantly lied about being a marine biologist. As he said: “It’s not a lie, if you believe it.” He did get the chance to save a beached whale though, which he saved by pulling a golf ball out of its blowhole.
Latex Salesman
During his unemployment stretch, George claimed he was a latex salesman for Vandelay Industries — a fake company he made up. He told the unemployment office that he had an interview with Vandelay for a salesman position, which meant he would continue to receive his benefits. It all goes wrong when the office calls the number he gave them, which turned out to be Jerry’s number.