When someone gets fired, you know that there's always some juicy drama involved... But these insane stories mot definitely take the cake!
A Doggone Shame
“Hospital has a dog park kinda thing where people can go hang out with their dogs outside. This includes letting the dog poo so long as you pick it up. We ended up getting lots of really large poops out there that the owners weren’t picking up, we post bigger ‘pick up your shit’ posters and setup a camera. Come to find out it was a night shift nurse going out there and shitting in the dog park at night. They were fired, in relatively short order.”
(Source)
That Poor Desk
“An employee CONSTANTLY masturbated in his cubicle, under his desk. The reason I say constantly is because when he was actually caught by a female employee and reported, another boss went to look at his cubicle… What he found was absolutely appalling. Under his desk there was mess EVERYWHERE. He worked there for over 10 years. It was so bad that parts of the underside of his desk were black and growing mold. He covered the smell by always having some type of air freshener going. We should have taken the hint sooner. In the end he was fired.”
(Source)
Chair Wars
“Large corporation with lots of cubes. Fired one employee who had a really sweet office chair. After the employee was fired, he requested his office chair back. After proving it was bought by fired employee and not company, HR went back to get it a week later for the fired employee. Sweet office chair was missing. HR does an investigation and finds a manager in another dept with a sweet office chair. HR asks manager where he got a sweet office chair. Manager claimed the chair was his for years and lied to HR. HR has fired employee identify his chair as the manager’s ‘chair for years.’ Manager is fired from a higher than six figure job because he lied about a damn chair.”
(Source)
Violent PTSD
“My dad (now in his 70s) started work in the late ’50s/early ’60s. Like a lot of boys in post-war Britain he was taken on as an apprentice, in his case as an electrician at a local engineering factory. A lot of the ‘skilled men’ there had seen service during WII. One of the my father’s mentors had been captured during the siege of Singapore and had spent several years as a POW under the Japanese. Sometime during his apprenticeship my father remembers a group of Japanese engineers and managers visiting the factory, probably to discuss the purchase of one or another of their products. On their tour of the factory the chap I mentioned above calmly walked up to this group of Japanese picked one up by his lapels and tried to beat the shit out of him whilst screaming his old army rank and serial number at him. He was dragged off by a bunch of his mates and fired on the spot. Obviously a case of PTSD, the chap had spent several years being abused and tortured by the Japanese and had been demobbed in a terrible state.”
(Source)
Awkward Robbery
“I worked at a large bank as teller through school. The branch was in a not so great side of town and had large bullet proof glass separating the tellers from the customers. A man came up to my coworker’s window and slid a note through the tray saying he had a gun and demanded the money in his drawer. My friend looked at the note, laughed, threw it in the trash and continued counting processing a transaction for the drive through. The man was so confused. He stood there another 20-30 seconds and left. I didn’t know any of this was taking place. After he left I asked my coworker what that guy wanted. ‘Oh, he just tried to rob us.’ It turned into a shit show at the branch. This is not the policy of handling a robbery. A full investigation was done and my coworker was fired.”
(Source)
Addicted To Drama
“I worked at Dairy Queen as a teenager, we had this really cooky teenage girl work with us for a couple months. She would constantly lie about the state of her parents and siblings ‘My mom is dead/alive/in Florida/has cancer/is a marathon runner,’ when called out on it, she would run down to the storage room and cry. Our cake decorator, a sweet old retired lady would always run down to comfort her. A few weeks of this, and the cake decorator had enough as well and stopped chasing her down. So she took it up another notch and started making crazy made up stories about the retired lady, ‘She used to be a man and the husband she talks about is actually her’ etc.
She got written up for this, and things were normal again for a week or two. She then started to claim she was sexually assaulted between 3-50 times in her life, depending on who she was talking to, by every male in her life, including people in town we all knew. She kept on changing her stories on that as well, and went back to her running downstairs to cry act for a few days until she realized it was getting her no attention. She then claimed she had multiple personalities and acted them out like a bad TV movie. One was a man, and apparently waking up in a woman’s body was traumatizing enough that she always had to immediately go home after ‘he emerged,’ it was always when we were busy too. Her formerly dead mother would always call afterwards and tell the manager that her daughter truly wasn’t feeling well. Then she was pregnant, then she miscarried (in the span of a week), then she said the boy who got her pregnant slipped the morning after pill into her yogurt. A week after that, gossiping about ‘sluts’ with another girl who worked there, she claimed she was a virgin and waiting for marriage.
Until then, her quirkiness was mostly harmless, then things changed for the worse. She said a fry cook raped her when they went outside to smoke for 5 mins, she came back in a little later than he did crying, with part of her uniform collar ripped. What she didn’t know is that the other fry cook was sitting in his car about 30 feet away listening to music waiting for his shift to start. He saw them smoking, he saw the other guy go inside, then he saw her flipping out (but didn’t want to get involved because of past lying behavior), she leaned her for head against a wall for several mins, trying to tear at her collar, hitting herself in the face a couple times as well. When this was revealed, the manager immediately fired her, inviting two female employees into his office with him while he was firing her so she wouldn’t make up stories about him as well. Even after she was fired, some of the girls found these short stories she wrote online, using names from the people in the store, stories apparently full of weird human on animal sex and gory descriptions of murder and torture. We basically just ignored them.”
(Source)
Nobody’s Laughing
“One of my middle aged employees constantly repeated the same joke. As awkward as it was, I couldn’t fire him for it. I work for a gas company and we have to dig in people’s yards. Every single time a person would ask us what we’re doing this guy would respond with ‘We’re here to wreck your yard’ but he would say it with an old school Dracula voice. So It would sound like this ‘Vear here to veck ver vard!’ The customer would just look at him confused and I had to jump in and explain properly. He did this every single time. I told him to stop repeatedly, but he honestly thought it was hilarious.”
(Source)
Not Feeling The Holiday Spirit
“We hired some temp staff to help us over Christmas in the shop and asked one of them to stand at the front of the store to greet customers, see if they’d like a personal shopper or any other help. A few hours later I went to check on how they were doing and couldn’t find her. I looked around but gave up and went to walk back, as I turn to head back to my desk I see that our giant Christmas tree is looking a little disheveled so I go and tidy it up. Once I am close to the tree I can see the temp hidden inside it, looking terrified. She had suffered a panic attack pretty soon after she started and climbed into the tree to hide. I struggle with anxiety myself (it was working at the store that had helped to sort me out a bit) so I didn’t report it to anyone higher up than me, I just took her back to the office to calm down and drink tea, got someone else to do the greeting and popped her on the checkouts. That didn’t stop the story spreading amongst every member of staff in a matter of minutes.”
(Source)
Dress Code
“I was the manager of an art studio that was very busy and dealt with a LOT of children. I hired this girl that looked and acted completely normal during her interview, but showed up to training wearing the most skin-tight pair of leggings I have ever seen to date. I had to awkwardly explain to her that leggings that show that much anatomy have no place around children. She said she was sorry and that it wouldn’t happen again. So she comes in the next day with jeans that were even tighter. So I had to even more awkwardly explain to her that, while she technically followed my last request, skin-tight clothing was not permitted in ANY form. I fired her later because she was a moron. I found out later that she was notorious in the area for doing nude modeling for free.”
(Source)
More Than Just Business Going On
“I wasn’t a boss, but a coworker. I used to work at the US Patent Office as a patent examiner. One of my fellow patent examiners was from Africa and was running an illegal arranged-marriage-for-green-card business out of his office. He was eventually caught, fired, and arrested.”
(Source)
Mid-Day Bath
“This guy would always take his shirt off and go walking; it was odd. But what got him fired is our VP went into the bathroom and this guy was in there fully naked and bathing himself in the sink after one of his ritual lunchtime walks. This is at a software company of about 500 employees. He also seemed to take all of his clothes off in the stall when he’s take a shit and hang them over the door.”
(Source)
He Loves Them White Women
“I manage an IT department for Government office. Get a call that a user’s laptop hard drive wont let him save files anymore. My first thought is hardware failure or virus/malware. I sit down at the users desk and there’s a folder right on the desktop that says ‘AMBBC’. Shouldn’t be there so I open it. Gigs of amateur white women having sex with black men. I turn to look at the guy as he’s standing behind me and with a straight face and unprompted he says ‘I love them white women’. He was gone the next day.”
(Source)
Ewww, Brian…
“When I was in high school, two lunatics made me the assistant manager of their super relaxed Christian book store outlet. It was a huge store that sold more than books. CDs, DVDs, paintings, huge framed pictures, jewelry, etc. My non-sales associate duties included submitting hours for pay roll, writing and mailing checks for the utility bills, interviewing potential associates, and keeping up with product placement. One of my much older co-workers ‘Brian’ always creeped me out. At 16 years old I didn’t realize he would talk to me inappropriately. I thought, ‘Hey, I’m the boss. I’m an adult.’ Well, he was always asking me if I’d ever done some sexual act or another and I just thought he was a creeper.
One day, I sat down to write our checks to send out and noticed that we had a $2××× phone bill. Wtf?? So I called my boss and he said it was probably a mistake and he’d fix it. I asked him to pick up some colored ink for our printer before he came because we were out and he said he just put new ink in. My young self was now feeling incompetent. I can’t do anything I’m supposed to do. Meanwhile Brian is being super weird. He’s asking me about bills and sex partners and when our boss is coming in. He checks out a customer who buys a big framed picture off the wall and I say I’ll go get the box in the back. He looks nervous. Freaking weirdo. So I go find the box and it’s heavy. Really heavy. I open it, and inside is a whole ream of paper’s worth of printed porn, a bunch of used condoms, lube, and a doll with a weird hole where her mouth was supposed to be. Gross.
I immediately called my boss who came in and had a talk with Brian. Apparently Brian was having some intimate paid conversations on the work phone when the store was slow. My boss let him keep his job and Brian paid the phone bill off week by week. The day he made his last payment my boss told me to fire him for whatever reason I could find. Sooo…I ended up firing him for being late getting back from break. Flash forward 13 years…my best friend was married to the sleaze back in the ’80s and I didn’t know until 5 years into our friendship. Wonder why they didn’t make it…”
(Source)
Pre-Used Products
“I was an assistant manager at an adult theater/store. I mean, right away that should tell you that some of your employees are going to be a little odd. It’s not a field that attracts the generation’s best and brightest. I would open the store in the mornings. I mean, we never closed, but we still called it the store opening. Around eight in the morning things are slow, so it’s when money issues, inventory, etc was taken care of. I started to be concerned over opened packages. The product hanging in back of the row would often be found to be open. At first you pass it off as a damaged package, but there seemed to be a pattern. Every model of dick sleeve, inflatable doll or rubber vagina had at least one opened package. Every single one. Checking the tape, I found the culprit. Dave (not his real name) worked nights and every night on his shift he would take one of those products into the bathroom, do his thing, and then reseal the box with glue or tape. I don’t know how many products we sold ‘pre-used,’ but if you bought a rubber product modeled off the genitals of an adult actress and thought it seemed oddly sticky inside, I can only offer you a heartfelt apology. After he was fired we found out he had also been shaking down the ‘working’ customers for sexual favors in exchange for not being bothered in the theater section with their ‘clients.'”
(Source)
It Was Just His First Offense
“I was hiring a new employee a few years ago. It had been a couple years since we hired anyone, so I went through and updated our employee manual. After I did that, I left a few copies for our other employees in case anyone was interested. One of the things that was put in the employee manual was a ‘3 strikes you’re out’ policy, do something wrong the first time and its a verbal warning, second time you’re written up and sent home for the day, third time you’re fired.
One of our guys in shipping and another guy in the office just don’t get along. There’s been bad blood between them for years. The guy from shipping walks into the office and up to the guy he doesn’t like and with a close fist punches him right in the side of the face, turns around, and walks back out to the shipping department, and keeps working like nothing happened. After I figure out what the hell happened, the cops come and cite him, and I tell him to grab his stuff and that he’s fired. He looks at me all confused. He goes on to explain he can’t be fired, its his first offense! He apparently read the new employee manual and thought no matter what he did, first offense was a verbal warning. In his mind, he had one more free punch to give and would still have his job.”
(Source)