They may be bullies or the class problem child, but every school has those awful students that seem to aim to make everyone's life miserable. Luckily the universe sets to make things right, as teachers and fellow students alike share the gratifying times these kids were served instant karma.
The Douchenozzle.
“Had a kid who was a real douchenozzle when I taught 5th. This kid, let’s call him Ray, had one of those moms who refused to hold him accountable for anything. She was one of those kinds who would ask Ray if he were guilty, and take his ‘No’ as incontestable truth. She would say, ‘My son doesn’t lie to me.’ Oh really? Your kid doesn’t lie? Your kid and Jesus? All kids lie. Anyway, I had a full caseload as a special ed teacher, so I got a paraprofessional (call him Steve). Ray HATED Steve. Had some kind of issue with male authority figures. One day Ray gets in trouble coming back from recess; Steve reprimanded him (verbally). By the time Ray makes it to the classroom, he’s saying how Steve got in his face and shouted at him (nope). He asks to go talk to the principal (Yay, Ray’s gone for at least 5 minutes!) Tells the principal how Steve grabbed his arm. When Mom comes and gets him, now he’s saying Steve pushed him. Next day we get a phone call. Ray’s mom and grandma are coming in and want a meeting with Steve and the principal to discuss how Steve choked Ray. Steve’s freaking out. Other kids were there, but no adults, no cameras, how can he prove his innocence. I tell him, ‘Go to the meeting and before anybody says anything, have Ray share what happened.’ Steve came back smiling. As soon as 1 story came out, everybody else is disagreeing, ‘Well Ray told me-‘ ‘But Ray told ME-.’ I would have loved to see the mom’s face as her kid is proven a liar in front of everyone.” (Source)
Don’t Mess With Hagrid.
“There was this guy in middle school that would take s—s and piss in the hallways, really weird but he thought it was funny. Well I was locker buddies with this really early developed guy. He was like Hagrid big to me back then. I noticed the weird kid standing in front of Hagrid’s locker. I’m thinking oh s–t somethings about to go down. Hagrid gets to his locker and this kid was still standing there. Hagrid tells him to please move out of the way because he was blocking the way. Weird kid says no and starts chuckling. Hagrid asks again and still the same response. This is when Hagrid f–king kicks this mf in the face. Like I’ve never seen anything like this before. This kid is standing straight up and he lifted his leg higher than I am in height and kicked a this kid in the face. Hagrid gets suspended and tells me if that kid ever bothers me to let him know so he can kick him in the face again. (Source)
Gigantor.
“In high school I played football at a small school and the summer before my senior year we get told we are getting a transfer student that’s 6 foot 8 and weighs like 300 pounds, he’s coming from a military school. I thought holy s–t, we finally got our break! Turns out he is the nicest kid and wouldn’t hurt a fly. He had no tenacity in him and really didn’t want to play football. We referred to him as ‘Gigantor’. So one day at lunch I see one of the bully kids in line with Gigantor and he’s getting in his face. He then smacks a milk out of his Gigantors hands and shoves him. That’s when the peaceful giant PICKED UP THE KID AND HURLED HIM INTO A BRICK PILLAR. It was awesome. The kid deserved to be hurled into a brick pillar many times. Gigantor felt so terrible afterwards but we all assured him, it’s OK big fella. Years later after high school bully kid got arrested and charged for selling heroin.” (Source)
Teachers Aren’t Dumb.
“Freshman English. Busted a kid for plagiarism, he was furious and refused to drop the course, I gave him a second chance and he continued to plagiarize. He was a slimy, smarmy kid who thought I was just a dumb, clueless TA, but joke’s on him, he ended up failing the course THREE ways: plagiarizing, exceeding absences and failing to turn in a complete final. You can argue about one way to get an F. You can’t argue about 3.” (Source)
Resist the Urge.
“I teach kindergarten, and I had a terrible, terrible child in my class last year. He liked to pull his desk away from the girl sitting across from him so her pencils and crayons would go falling on the floor. Finally, one day she got fed up and slammed her desk back into his. Unfortunately for him, his fingers happened to be there. I had to resist the urge to be like ‘that’s what you get!’ but instead I just reminded him that that’s why I said not to move his desk away from the rest of the table and sent him to the nurse.” (Source)
That’s One Bad Haircut.
“There was a student who was always causing problems. He didn’t do his work, picked on other kids, damaged property, etc. One night at home he was fighting with his parents about getting a haircut and locked himself in the bathroom and gave himself the haircut. It was awful. Picture lots of bald spots. His dad was fed up with his behavior so he made him go to school with his ridiculous hair for a day before taking him to get it shaved.” (Source)
“A Total Dinosaur Hammer.”
“When I was in 2nd grade there was this kid, Justin. A total dinosaur hammer. He had a rat tail haircut. It was atrocious yet perfectly complimented his obnoxious personality.
One day on the playground, Justin fabricates a story that I said ‘s–t,’ a mortal sin for a second grader. He tells the teacher. I get put in time out. For time out, we had to be constantly touching this wooden pole for five minutes. It was my first time in time out and my emotions were slowly coming to boil from within. The bubbling over of my rage came ever nearer. Justin walks up and starts taunting me. I told him to leave me alone. He kept poking me and running out of the ‘zone.’ I warned him one last time. He starts running back towards me. The teacher sees this and starts running towards us. It’s a race against time to protect Justin. He just didn’t know it. He steps within the zone, which was also my striking distance and I deliver the most divine punch of my life. I connect with him right on the nose. His head shot back like he was in an ejection seat. His legs went airborne. Justin lays motionless. There is some blood. Then from nowhere the most awful, yet terribly delicious, screams start emanating from this little s–t. I look towards my teacher. She’s aghast at what she has just witnessed. I didn’t get to play at recess the next day either. She called my mom. My mom said, ‘I don’t condone violence, but God damn has Justin needed an ass kicking for a long time.’ No grounding. The end.” (Source)
Mooooooo.
“Kid was horrible to my best friend in high school (8 years ago) and got all his other friends to join in (called her a cow, moo-ed at her as she walked by, changed her pc background to a cow). Low and behold he walks into the bar were at last weekend and he is fat, bald, and spent 20 minutes groveling to her about how horrible he was and how unhappy he is in his life now.” (Source)
Don’t Bang On the Glass!
“School trip to Poland, at the hotel you could climb over the balcony on the first floor onto a plexiglass curved roof. Well, this little asshole decided it would be a good idea to run along the plexiglass, then bang on the windows of other rooms. My room was adjacent, so we s–t ourselves receiving a knock from the balcony at like 10pm. A minute later, we hear what I can only describe as pure rage coming from next door. The teacher was next door to us, and he saw this little s–t try to sneak by and dragged him back inside. A few minutes go by and this teacher is still screaming at him in the corridor, you could hear the guy bawling his eyes out (we were like 16 btw), but even listening to it was horrifying. Imagine the drill sergeant scene from FMJ amplified, it was traumatizing. I’m sure the teacher loved every moment of it.” (Source)
The Rhianna Hand Twirl.
“I have a ton of stories, but this is the only one that made me laugh (cause I am a horrible person). I had a 5th grader who looked like a white version of Cleveland Brown Jr. Right down to the hanging cheeks and no neck. This kid was a know-it-all menace. He’d interrupt me, do that weird Rhianna hand twirl, and say, ‘We’ll actually Miiiiissssssssss…’ and then state some random fact that was often wrong or irrelevant. On lunch duty I see that his lunch everyday is a can of soda, a bag of chips, and tons of candy. Like the bag is busting at the seams. I alert the principal because I’m worried that his grandmother wasn’t feeding him properly. Principal calls the grandma and grandma gets angry. She was letting him pack his own lunch and wasn’t checking it. She tells us that she will only pack healthy food now. She then tells us that the kid’s doctor said he needs a serious diet. She tells us that he cannot have ANY candy. Cut to a week later. The kid is still being a little s–t and pisses off another student. Student runs to principal and says that the kid has been sneaking candy to school every day. The principal goes to talk to him. The kid shoves a chocolate bar into his mouth and the principal takes away the Blow Pop he has. This kid proceeds to roll around on his belly across the entire hallway, screeching and crying so hard that he’s choking on the half chewed chocolate bar. Chocolate spittle and tears everywhere. A kindergarten student walks by and says, ‘You look like a baby.’ The kid stops wallowing long enough to punch the little student. He got suspended for violence and I got a peaceful classroom.” (Source)
What A Wipeout!
“There was a ‘problem child’ in my class who thought it was cool to not listen to teacher advice, shrug off reprimands and make snarky comments. He was hard to manage, but by no means a bad kid. We have a rule at our school that there’s no running outside of our classroom. The official reason for this is ‘that it’s dangerous,’ but the rule is often ignored when no teacher is looking. One day the entire class and myself were lined up for lunch, when this particular student was coming back from getting something in the front building. He decided to blatantly ignore the no running rule that he had been reminded of probably a hundred times before, and he began to sprint towards the class. Right as I yelled his name, he tripped and went FLYING. It was an epic wipeout which the entire class saw. I checked if he was okay but I did feel like justice had been served in that once delicious moment.” (Source)
No More Pool For You.
“There was a clique of the ‘popular’ kids who were often jerks and acted out because hey that’s ‘funny’ in high school. Our city had a living center for the mentally ill, that also had a public swimming pool, and when we got to the swim module in gym that was where we headed. Well one day there’s an extremely autistic 14 year old at the pool, like barely functioning. And chucklef–k decides that it’ll be funny to sit there and growl at him aggressively, because why the f–k not. Autistic kid loses his s–t, he freaks right out. The kids ‘handler’ figures out what happens and goes and talks to the teacher about it. ‘Cool’ guy is banned from the center. He automatically fails the module, they choose to take it a step further however and decide that he instantly fails the gym course, losing the credits he needed to graduate. In addition to a lengthy suspension.” (Source)
Best Day Of The Year.
“Elementary teacher here. My first year teaching was f–king terrible. Really tough school combined with my rookie class management skills made for a free roaming terror class. By mid-year I was at my wits end, was trying right the ship and struggling. Field trips were the worst thing I’d ever experienced.
Enter my principal. He had observed my class a few weeks before and was shocked at easily ten of my students behavior. Told me he knew I had a field trip comin up, and he would happily stay back and watch any of my students that I didn’t want to go because of their behavior. So, a few days before the trip I told my class this.
However, I waited until read aloud because that’s when it was toughest. The good 12 kids in class loved read aloud, they just wanted to enjoy the book. The other 10-14 would constantly good around and not listen to a word. So, I casually mentioned, in the middle of read aloud that some students would be staying back from our fabulous field trip in a few days with the principal. I told them it was all behavior based. Of course, the good kids heard me, the little shits didn’t. The next two days the little shits continue being little shits. The morning of the field trip, about two hours before the trip I remind the class of the principals visit. The little shits become little angels.
Field trip comes and in walks my principal. I calmly read off the list of 13 names staying while the rest of the class comes with me. I had left the most boring worksheets possible for the kids staying behind, and as we walked out the door all the little shots were crying while my principal was reading them the riot act.
The remainder of my class and I had a lovely trip, enjoyed a great play, they glimpsed what school should be like and I got the glimpse of what teaching could be. When we got back, it looked like the little shits had never stopped crying. Best day of the year (Source)
Good Job Karma.
“There was a boy in my middle school who was really awful. One day he wrote this insulting and sexuality explicit graffiti in the boy’s bathroom. It actually named a girl in his class. At my conservative private school this was a huge deal. He was immediately suspended pending expulsion. Well, his father donated an all new computer lab to the school and he ended up with a two week suspension. He learned nothing from the experience except, possibly, that you can get away with a lot if you’re rich. So he continued being horrible . Five years later an old friend gave me an update. He dropped out of college because he was failing. He then got a girl pregnant. His dad didn’t like this girl and completely cut them off. Last I heard he was still with this girl, still not speaking to his family, working as a long haul trucker, and he seemed pretty happy being a dad. My last update was several years ago. You might feel I’m being unkind by calling this karmic retribution when two innocent people are involved, and maybe I am. But if taking away some of his privelegde and giving him real challenges helped him become a decent or hard working person, then I say good job karma.” (Source)
“Nope.”
“I once taught a grade 11 history class where I had one kid who caused me a lot of grief. He was frequently late, walking in 20-30 minutes late. Class was during C slot, he had a spare during B, and would actually take the bus home after his A class and simply stay home for an hour. Or just not show up at all. Additionally, he was super passive aggressive, rarely handed anything in and obsessed himself with spending time on his super expensive smart phone. I’d pretty much had it with him. A major project comes up half way through and he doesn’t bother to do any of the group work and then didn’t show up for the entire week of presentations. I’d had lots of conversations with mom at this point, who luckily had my back. Suffice to say, I gave him the only 0 in the class. So of course he hasn’t learned, and his grades are below failing mark. Test on the last unit before the exam is coming up, and I give the students the option to write a unit test and replace their lowest test grade with it. Obviously every kid takes the chance. He saunters in late, and when I asked if he’s going to do the op test, he just said ‘nope,’ sat down and played on his phone. I was a bit dumbfounded. Whatever.” (Source)
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