We give lawyers a lot of
The STD Outbreak
"A nurse was contracted by a hospital to give flu vaccines to residents at a local assisted living home. Hepatitis C was very common back in the baby boomer days from lack of knowledge of STD's and effective protection. Apparently this nurse decided it would be a good idea to reuse the needle she had on EVERY SINGLE patient. One of the first few people she immunized had Hep C and she ended up giving it to a bunch of seniors. It was so bad that they had to contact the CDC and consider it an outbreak."
“Felt A Fall Coming On”
The Stripper And The Cat Lady
"I worked on a custody dispute between a mother and grandmother. The mother was very upset that she was alleged to have been a stripper. 'I was a prostitute, but I was NEVER a stripper!' The grandmother was furious that she was alleged to have 21 cats in her 2-bedroom apartment. 'We only have 17 cats! How DARE she flat-out lie and say that we have 21 cats.' The child ended up living with the father in a different state."
The Amish Altercation
"My friend's first case out of law school was representing a guy who worked for a community of Amish people. He had fallen off of a ladder while on the job, and was suing for his medical bills and 'pain and suffering.' However, the Amish don't believe in using lawyers or insurance, thinking they're a form of gambling, so they had to defend themselves in court. The best part? The Amish won. My friend lost his first case out of law school to some Amish people untrained in law."
The Package Problem
"A guy called me and wanted to take action against the Post Office. He had received a letter from them saying that they would no longer deliver packages to him since he was never appropriately dressed when he opened the door to accept them. I remember being nervous about asking him to elaborate."
The Entity Eviction
"I've been asked to evict a ghost. I actually did that one."
The Spectacle Struggle
"Family law attorney here. I just had a custody case go back to court over eyeglasses. My client didn't like the glasses her ex bought the kid. So stupid."
The Sugar Addict
"Guy gets fired for being late too much. He wanted to sue for discrimination because he has a sugar addiction and needs to stop and 7-Eleven for a big gulp before his shift begins, and he usually ends up missing the bus."
The Crappy Situation
The Hypothetical Murder Case
"A woman called for a product liability suit involving animal crackers she gave to her daughter. I was thinking it was going to be something to do with food poisoning, but then she explained that the monkey cracker looked like it was holding its penis. It was a banana."
The Ungrateful Neighbor
"My parents are both attorneys. Their crazy neighbor asked my dad to serve as his attorney in a slip and fall suit…against my parents. He had come over uninvited at 6am on a snowy morning and fell on our driveway. My dad helped him up and called the ambulance on his behalf. The next day, crazy neighbor dropped off legal documents in my parents' mailbox for my dad to look over to see if he had a case…against my dad."
Even Magic Couldn’t Save Him
"I defended a grown man accused of stealing magic cards from Walmart. There was an hour long security video meticulously showing him picking up cards, unwrapping them and discarding the wrappers around the store. He insisted that he was innocent and we actually went to a jury trial instead of securing a plea deal. The jury took no time to convict him and the judge told my client he was the worst thief he had ever seen."
Charlie And The Chocolate Factory
"Woman buys brand-new luxury condo one block from a chocolate factory that has been in operation since the '20s. The factory often emits a strong smell of roasting cocoa. It doesn't smell like chocolate, it's more of a bitter smell, but not unpleasant. The woman got fat and said the factory's smell increased her appetite, and therefore made her gain weight. So she wanted to sue them."
"My family member sued me for taking down their website. I created the website. I hosted the website and it ran on my server. Unfortunately, they got too much traffic and started being very hostile to my parents so I took down their site. I sent them a letter about how families should treat one another with a passworded zip of all their files. But they still sued me."
Shoes Aren’t A Girl’s Best Friend
"I had a potential client who needed to access something on a high shelf, when she was at work. Instead of using the step that was provided she took it upon herself to take her shoes off, then stand on her chair to reach the shelf. She forgot about her own shoes on the way down and tripped over them. She tried to blame her employers."