As we all know kids definitely say the darnedest things. These teachers share stories about the funniest things their students have said and done to get sent to the principal's office.
The zip tied bandits.
Two boys somehow managed to zip tie themselves together at the waist in the cafeteria. An administrator grabbed them by the zip tie and dragged them all the way to his office.
The hairy prankster.
Kid dropped a folder full of xeroxed copies of his hairy butt. Turns out he had been taping them to people's lockers all over school.
It’s the thought that counts, right?
One student was working pretty close to me and obviously made a mistake he exclaims, "shit!" I asked him what he had just said and when trying to explain what he really meant to say he said,"I said shiiii…(thinking hard)…t." And then just stared at me horrified.
A smart ass at its finest.
This kid was sent to the principal about twice a week. One of our conversations went like this: Ms. Childs asks, "Are there any questions?" Cal says, "Yes Ms. Children, is…" I cut him off, "it's Ms. CHILDS." Cal replies, "but Childs is bad grammar." I had to send him to the office.
The naive teacher.
This kid in my class was sent to the principal for breaking the dress code because of drug references. The principal had to explain to my teacher 'Billabong' is a legit clothing company.
Well, that’s just a little awkward.
I had to write up a kid for using "Telekinesis" on another student.
There are no words.
My 8th grade student was approached by a girl who, without hesitation, vigorously bit him on the arm and just walked away. No one believed me when I phoned it in.
This kid wins student of the year.
I had a kid get up in the middle of class and open the window. When I asked why he did that he said it was hot in there. He then proceeded to put his backpack on and leave through the window because he needed fresh air. It's a second story window so we all ran over and saw him running away.
He just wanted to roam free!
A teacher brought a 1st grader to the office and tells me, "He is to sit here and not say anything and be sure he keeps his clothes on." When I looked away I heard a tiny voice say, "Pee pee! Pee pee!" The boy had his pants around his ankles and his shirt covering his face shaking his hips around.
It’s all fun and games ’til…
Two of my kindergartners were in the bathroom with the lights off, their pants around their ankles, chasing each other around in the dark peeing on each other.
Now that’s funny!
I was observing a kindergarten class where a student started learning new "big" words and used them to offend people. Not cuss words, but words like curfew and malaria. He would make people cry from his insults. But the principal didn't do anything since he wasn't swearing.
That’s one way to stand up to a bully.
I had an obnoxious, show-offy 5th grader. One day he was being a smart ass and a girl silently got up, opened the classroom pencil sharpener and dumped the shavings all over him. I had to send her to the office, but it was a truly satisfying moment.
Oh poor Jimmy!
I was a sub in an 8th grade class. When I walked in the kids told me "Jimmy" had fallen out the window. When I looked out the window, I saw "Jimmy" lying on the ground, contorted. In reality he had just lied down on the sidewalk under the window.
The twerking millennial.
I was subbing a 6th grade class and they were getting kind of loud so I told them to settle down and when I did this girl jumped up and said, "You're not our real teacher!" and started twerking. I had to send a 6th grader to the office for twerking.