Just remember, you aren’t anti-social. You just really, REALLY don’t like your co-workers. Let them know how you feel without even saying a word!
Crime Scene Scarf
Whenever anyone tries to start up a conversation, just point to the scarf. They can’t go poking around an active crime scene. The only thing warming up to you is your scarf.
Middle Finger Wrapping Paper
Those mandatory office Christmas parties are the worst. Give them a gift, but let them know how you really feel about being there.
Hermit Crab Pin
Hermit crabs have a great life. All the do is stay at home all day. What could be better?
If someone says “hi,” give them a wave with the right glove. If they try to say anything else, wave with the left glove.
Leave Me Alone Hat
When you are working, it’s hard for someone to see your not interested in their conversation. Put on this hat and be bothered no more.
Professional Recluse Decal
When you do work away from the office, slap this sticker on your laptop. Everyone at the coffee shop will know to stay clear.
Larry David Shirt
Larry David is the king of the anti-social people. Anyone who knows what Larry looks like will know you mean business — anti-social business.
I Can’t Even Mug
Morning people are the bane of your existence. Sip your coffee out of this mug to let them know you have no time for their cheerfulness.
Go Away, I’m Reading Badge
Reading reports is hard enough as it is without people trying to bother you. Slap on this badge and get to reading.
Anytime a co-worker asks for a favor, just look at the pin. They should hopefully get the hint sooner rather than later.
Hell Is Other People Shirt
It wouldn’t be nice to wear a shirt that just said “Hell is other people.” Jazz it up with an elegant bird and it’s work-ready.
I Love You Like Mug
If they get close enough to read this, it’s too late. You better go ahead and grab the milk.
Do Not Disturb Sign
If you are lucky enough to have a door on your office, you already have a leg up on everyone else. The addition of this sign will just add to the silence. Plus, it’s a bottle opener too!
Happy Alone Shirt
Tired of being asked why you don’t bring anyone to those office events? This shirt should set the record straight.
Your break time is precious. That last thing you want to do is spend it with your co-workers. Slip on this baby and snooze away in privacy.
Full-Zip Hooded Sweatshirt
This sweatshirt is perfect for those who work in a perpetually cold office. Be fashionable until a co-worker comes by, then just zip the hood up and hide.