There's a reason they make a photocopy of your ID before test drives --- these car salesmen had no idea what they were getting into!
Who Needs A Taxi?
“Friend’s story: a customer took a Mazda sedan for a test drive and midway through pulled over and asked to swap with the salesman to experience the car from the passenger seat. Just as they were about to drive off again he says he feels sick and can’t go on, and thanks for his time. Turns out he just wanted a lift into town.”
“I’ll Buy It”
“Used car dealer in NJ here. I was selling a 2006 Honda odyssey EX-l and the only info I get before a test drive is a drivers license and a phone number. The guy said he knew the area so I let him go alone cause we were short staffed, I told him to keep it short.
This jackass is gone for 3 hours, and ignoring my phone calls. I was about to call the police but I decided to give him another half hour, he finally came back and the van was filled with groceries and some sh_t from home depot. I was pissed and he knew it. I’ll never forget what he said, “I know your pissed, but before you say anything, I’ll buy it.”
I laughed and held firm on the price, which he didn’t seem to have a problem with.”
“Oh By The Way, The Check Engine Light Came On For Some Reason”
“Thankfully this did not happen to me it was one of my salesman I hired in the past. He had a guy test drive a S500 Mercedes, only a few years old at the time. He let the gentleman and his wife have it alone which happens frequently at high line dealerships. They returned 45 minutes later a bit of a long test drive.
They said the check engine light popped on and the ABS light and they were scared of the car and left. Come to find out they removed some $2500 worth of parts to fix their S500 at a repair shop a few miles away. Thankfully they were found out and caught.”
Tis’ The Season!
“I work at a used dealership. We sell all types of vehicles, but our most popular vehicle in this area is a full size pickup. We always have at least 5 or 10. Early December 2 years ago, we had a dude come in and he was looking around at our cars. He said he was interested in a Focus wagon and wanted to take it for a test drive. No problem man, have a good time.
He came back about 45 minutes later, said it wasn’t what he was looking for, and rushed off. I went to put the car away, and noticed it smelled like pine. The assh_le loaded a Christmas tree in the back and took it home, then brought our car back. Why couldn’t he have just used a truck?”
“I Thought We Were Goners”
“I was showing a car to a guy one day. When I went to go get something, he had opened the hood to look at the engine bay, and he had closed it before I got back. Well, while we were driving on the interstate, sure enough — the hood flew open because he hadn’t latched it all the way.
It smashed into the windshield, shattering it. We were going really fast, and all of the sudden we couldn’t see anything at all. I thought we were goners… But somehow he made it off the road without any further incident.”
“Jim’s New Ride”
“I was working at a Dayton, Ohio BMW dealership selling new and used cars. A late 20 something fairly well dressed gentlemen wanted to look at a used jeep Cherokee. He had credit issues but I called a local credit union and got him approved. I grabbed the keys and we left for a test drive.
He asked to stop by his financial advisor’s office to get a second opinion. I was slightly reluctant because this office was located in the absolute worst part of Dayton. I agreed since it was only 3 miles from the dealership. He pulls into this parking lot and run inside this sleezy strip club and tells me to wait. Soon, all these crack wh_re strippers come out to check out “Jim’s” new ride. These girls were in g strings crawling around in the car pushing buttons and cranking the radio up. Lil wayne starts playing and they start grinding on the leather seats.
All in broad daylight mind you. Jim finally returns with this “financial advisor” and tells me the payment is too high. I agreed and knocked another 500 off. He gave me 100 free passes to the club. I still don’t know what happened to my necktie.”
The Escapee
“I’ve been a professional car salesman at the same dealer for almost 5 years. I’ve seen some sh_t. The strangest was this little old lady named Virginia. Sweet old lady who was basically senile. She drove up in a silver 2001 Lincoln Town Car. She said that demons had possessed that car and ‘the man in the radio’ told her to but a new one. I was a little perplexed, but I agreed to show her a (new at the time) 2011 Lincoln Town Car in silver. She immediately fell in love with it. She wanted to test drive it.
I felt a little awkward about getting the key, as I couldn’t really tell if she was serious. But, nevertheless, I asked her for her driver’s license. It was current and valid, so I got the keys. She starts the car, drives it across our parking lot, and then immediately stops when she spots her current 2001 TC sitting in the parking lot. She says “Hey! There’s a silver one! Can we drive that one?”
Now I’m really confused. I remind her that the car she is now pointing at is actually her current car, and we are test driving a new silver one. She says “Oh, ok. We’ll drive that one when we get back.” Now I’m not comfortable. I ask her to stay stopped here for a moment. I call my sales manager and explain to him what’s going on. While he is just as confused as I am, he tells me to proceed with the drive but not leave the general area or go on any freeways.
We leave the lot and pull up to a busy intersection. While we are waiting for a green light she starts asking me if this car has any bad demons in it. I chuckled a little bit and say absolutely not, it’s a brand new car. Light goes green, and we proceed down a busy main road at about 20 mph (Speed Limit 45). She won’t go any faster. Cars are flying around us blaring their horns. I tell her to ignore them and focus on driving up to safe speed. She gets to about 30 mph.
We are cruising along at 30mph (while still annoying all of the traffic around us) when she suddenly for no reason just slams on the brakes. THANK GOODNESS no one was immediately behind us. That surely would be a collision. I politely ask her to please pull over on the side of the road. She asks me why and I tell her that there’s some feature I want to show her on the car. She pulls off the road. We both get out, and then I jump in the driver’s side seat and say “Ok Virginia, I’m going to show you cool stuff. Go ahead and hop in, I’ll drive.”
As I drive us back to the dealership, I point out the nice ride and stuff blah blah blah. She’s being very quiet. I pull up at the dealership. I walk her inside and then tell my sales manager what had being going on. He admits it all very strange and he comes out to talk to her. She tells him she wants to buy the car (music to a sales manager’s ears). He looks at me like “What’s the big deal? Sell her the car.”
At this point, I don’t feel right about it. I ask her if she is absolutely sure that she wants to buy a brand new car today. She says “Yes I’d love to. Do you have any silver Town Cars?” I explain that we just got back from a test drive in a silver Town Car. She doesn’t believe me and wants to see a new silver Town Car. I called the police and explained that I believed she was senile and should not be driving. They came down to the dealer to meet her, and that’s when we found out that she had gone missing from an institute not too far from here.
They have no idea how she got the 2001 Town Car. It was registered to a family in town with no relation to her and it was reported stolen. I don’t know what ever happened to her after that, but it was all really sad.”
A Weird Experience To Say The Least
“This guys showed up in a flashy Maserati and wanted to test drive a new Nissan. I don’t even remember what it was — maybe an SUV or something. He drove it to an ATM and withdrew like $200. Then he just gave it to me. That was kind of weird and I wasn’t really sure what to do with it. I tired to refuse it but he was insistent. He said it was a tip and just wanted to make sure I was taken care of.
We went back and he said he would have someone be in touch to complete the purchase. My manager was trying to get him to stay and just buy it now. The guy broke down and started yelling at my manager about how his son had just died and he had a bunch of other things he needed to do.
This was all a long time ago so I don’t really remember the details. I was in my early 20s at the time, maybe only 20 or 21, probably about the same age as any kids this guy would have had. I reported the money he gave me because I didn’t really know what else to do with it and didn’t want it to become an issue if he told other people later. I figured we’d just apply it to the purchase or something. My manager told me to just keep it.
He never ended up buying the car and I never heard from him again. Kind of a weird experience all things considered. I sold cars for years and that was the only time someone ever gave me extra money (especially for NOT buying a car) and the only time I saw someone yelling at a manager in the showroom.”
Crunch!
“A year or so ago an old man was test driving an F150 and when we got back to the lot he insisted on backing it into the parking space himself. There was a BMW behind us and it looked like he was going to hit it, so I offered to get out and move it. “I’m not gonna hit it.” he said. “Sir we’re getting awful close, put the vehicle in park for me.”
“I’m not gonna hit the damn car!” crunch. I basically said “Well there it was.” and hopped out. Showed him the damage and he insisted he didn’t do it. I think he was just embarrassed and panicked a bit. I would have worked something out with him since the damage wasn’t all that bad, but he called me a liar, hopped in his truck and left so I called the police.
He wound up paying a couple hundred bucks for the damage.”
Very Relieved!
“Not a salesman but once I went to a Mazda dealership to test drive an RX-8. The salesman was a talkative dude, and to make conversation I asked him what was the craziest thing he’s seen on the job.
He told me he let a guy test drive an RX-8 as well and that the dude absolutely loved it. Before buying it though, he had to go show his mom to see if she would approve. Dude asked the salesman “Can I go show this to my mom to see if she approves?” Salesman said “Of course.” The dude doesn’t come back after a few hours so the salesman calls him up and the dude lets him know he’s on his way to New Orleans to show his mom.. the dealership was in South Texas.
The dude shows up a day or so later and buys the car. Salesman is relieved because he would have been fired and then some.”
Woops!
“I used to work at Subaru as a detailer, and we had just gotten in the new Subaru Outback with eyesight. Eyesight was basically two cameras that were used to adjust speed control, as well as automatic braking, if you were too close to a vehicle in front of you or approaching something fast you will hit.
Anyways, this salesman was an idiot, and wanted to show me how the system works on the lot. I had a sneaking suspicion that something would go wrong. So I hop in he says everything is ready, watch this. So he floors it along the back row of the lot driving right towards another new outback. He was expecting it to brake for him when he was zooming towards if, but BAM.
Drove right into another vehicle head on and smashed up two brand new vehicles pretty badly. His reason? “f_ck I forgot to turn eyesight on, oops” Nothing happened to him because he’s the managers son.”
“When We Go Around The Corner…”
“About 20 years ago my dad’s coworker was with two Mexicans that wanted to test drive a car. My dad’s coworker was Cuban with blonde hair and blue eyes, so it didn’t look like he grew up speaking fluent Spanish.
About 5 minutes in, they start talking to each other in Spanish saying something like “when we go around the corner is when I get his attention and you shoot him…” So the employee opens the door while they’re going about 35 mph in a residential and rolls out of the car and takes off.
The car sped off and headed for Mexico. They were eventually caught. I guess they were cartel, those guys don’t f_ck around.”
Made A Grown Man Cry
“I had a car salesmen start crying on me when I told him I was still looking and not going to buy the car that day. He broke down and cried, a 30 year old man. He excused himself and went to see his manager, came back, and cried some some more. He said he thought we connected and was sure I was going to buy the car.”
That Must Have Been A Fun Ride
“Former sales person here. Probably the craziest would be this guy suddenly yelled “LETS TEST OUT THE 4 WHEEL DRIVE!!!” He veered off the road near the dealership and cut donuts in a muddy field. I didn’t really give a sh_t if he damaged the truck because that’s what insurance and lawyers are for. I just felt bad for the underpaid guys in the back who had to clean it back up.
The only time I ever got upset with someone and told them to pull the fuck over was this old man was test driving a brand new 2008 Corvette. This guy couldn’t drive a manual for sht. He could barely get it out of the parking space but he managed to get enough momentum to start rolling toward the road and I noped the fck out.”
The Millionaire Don’t Care
“Had a guy show up on a fairly nice Harley Davidson w/out a shirt on. Nobody helped him so I offered to. He wanted to drive one of our top end cars ($320K Rolls-Royce Ghost). I got a service bag (the ones that protect the seats from the mechanics grime) and let him drive it. We got up to about 140 mph on a public road before I told him he needed to buy it before hitting 150 mph.
We went back to the dealership, he went to his bike and wrote us a check. We delivered the car to his house that night and has been buying cars from the dealership ever since. (He’s also purchased a 2014 Porsche 911 Turbo S, Maserati GranTurismo MC Stradale Convertible or Grancabriolet depending on where you’re from, and an Aston Martin Vanquish)”
“It Was Nice”
“I had a dirty looking guy with long, greasy hair want to test drive a Cadillac. We had a pre-planned route for test drives, but he turned the opposite way out of the dealership and told me he wanted to go his own way.
At this point, he was acting somewhat strange, like nothing specific, just odd mannerisms. We drove a couple miles and I started getting a bit scared that I was going to be on the 6 o’clock news, when suddenly he pulled into an ice cream place. He bought us both ice cream cones and we ate them as he checked out the engine, then we drove back and he left.
It was nice.”
At Least She Bought The Car?
“I left the car business a long time ago but one customer will be forever seared into my brain. She came in to trade her 6 year old car in on a new Ford Explorer. I got the car ready and pulled it around front. She climbed in and carefully pulled out into traffic. She asked if we could run an errand. I said sure.
We drove to a house a few minutes away. She got out, took a small bag out of her purse and placed a used feminine product on the windshield of a car in the drive way, got back in the car and said “F_ck that ho.” We drove away. She bought the car and was gone a couple hours later. I will never be the same.”
Wow… Just Wow…
What were these people thinking? What they did was outrageous!
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