Sure, Michael Scott has his faults, but deep down, we all wish he could be our boss. Welp, these 17 people have the next best thing. Check out all the bizarre things their bosses have done.
“After about 30 people, it got really depressing…”
“I had a boss that had everyone introduce themselves before a meeting by stating their name, their position and where they were on 9/11. After 30 people, it got really depressing.”
“My boss thought it would be a good idea to interrupt the presentation…”
“Someone from corporate came in to lecture us on prejudice and harassment. My boss thought it would be a good idea to interrupt the presentation and ask us for personal testimonies of times when we felt uncomfortable in the workplace. When no one answered she called out a coworker and asked how she felt about the fact that everyone thought she was fat and made fun of her when she came back with fast food for lunch every day. The coworker just sat there and started to cry. My boss was like well, I thought she knew and proceeded to point out all the office gossip and what everyone felt about each other.”
“She gave herself an award and proceeded to…”
“My boss gave herself an award and proceeded to show it off to everyone higher up than her.”
“In the middle of the day, he called all the staff up to the front door…”
“I worked at a PetSmart that had a very Michael Scott-esque GM. In the middle of our shift one day, he called all the staff up to the front door of the store where the floor mat worked its way out into the path of the automatic doors, keeping them from closing. Standing on the mat, he looks at us and very seriously says, ‘We have a problem, guys. I’ve been here since we opened this morning and this is the fourth time that this floor mat has moved out into the path of the door. Now does anybody know what this means?’ Nobody pipes up for this because it’s clearly bait for him to tell someone that they’re wrong. ‘This means that we have more people leaving the store than we have coming in.’ Wut. ‘The reason that we have more people leaving the store than we have coming in is because we’re not providing the best customer service. Once we start doing that, we’ll have more people coming in than leaving. Now I want you guys to put on your best customer service and by closing tonight, I want to see this floor mat against the back wall of the store.’ I…um…okay.”
“My boss gathered everyone in the office kitchen and…”
“My boss gathered everyone in the office kitchen to demonstrate exactly how he liked his coffee made, but pitched it as if he was letting everyone in on the secret to making the perfect coffee and that we’d all be thankful to him later. He proceeded to make a completely f*cking normal instant coffee in pretty much the only way it’s possible to make it.”
“My boss put out a smile box…”
“To boost morale, my boss put out a ‘smile box.’ It was a cardboard box filled with a hundred $1 bills. People were allowed to take a dollar, but they had to stand there and smile for 60 seconds. He believed this would make people happier. The box was empty in a matter of hours. Everyone was still miserable. The box disappeared the next day.”
“He bought himself a going away cake and…”
“My former boss just got a promotion and left our workplace. He bought HIMSELF a going away full sized sheet cake, 18″ x 24″, 80 servings. He cut off a small corner at his going away party and then proceeded to close the cake box and take home the other 79 servings instead of sharing any of it with anyone. He was a really good boss and I will miss him but that was pretty typical of him too.”
“I knew this was going to be hilarious…”
“He hired some random migrant farm workers to fix an authentic ‘Mexican’ dinner for our office Christmas party. I grew up working alongside migrant farm workers in the midwest, de-tasseling corn. They eat ‘poor’ people food just like the rest of the working poor in the rural midwest, so I knew this was going to be hilarious. I was not disappointed when he asked them what a certain delicious cheesy/pasta dish they served us was called, and they answered ‘Mac n’ cheese casserole.'”
“She would record a rap video…”
“My old boss said if we made a sales goal she would record a rap video specific to us as a prize.”
“He looks directly at the girl and says…”
“Our mid-level manager had eyes for the shy clerk girl. At a company wide conference, in front of the maybe 250 fellow employees, he starts his presentation with, ‘they say that when you make a presentation in front of a lot of people, you should imagine your audience with nothing on.’ He looks directly at the girl and says, ‘thank you, (shy-clerk-girl).’ You can imagine the crushed look on her face and the reaction of the audience, half chuckling, half gasping and a prolonged awkward silence.”
“When my boss pages someone over the intercom he instructs them to…”
“When my boss pages someone over the intercom he instructs them to report to ‘the Senior Vice President’s office’ instead just saying ‘please come to Gary’s office.’ We have like 20 people that work here. Everyone knows it’s him when he starts the page. He likes hearing his own voice and title.”
“He exclaimed that the only thing women should be sticking up there are…”
“My old boss once talked to me loudly about how he didn’t understand how tampons worked. Then, when I provided a perfunctory explanation, he exclaimed that the only thing women should be sticking up there are a man’s privates.”
“He was trying to pick the company health insurance policy so he…”
“The CEO was trying to pick the company health insurance policy so he polled the leadership team for input at an executive all-hands meeting. CEO states that we’re all young and healthy so no one needs things like dental, or optical. Half of our executive team is wearing glasses. He moves on.”
“This reminded me of when Michael wore his ladies’ power suit…”
“My boss put a large ‘CAUTION: SURFACE IS HOT!’ sticker on the bottom of his denim dad butt, came into my office, shook his fanny at me, and asked what I thought of his safety signage. This may sound like genuine harassment, but just like I can’t imagine Michael Scott actually being a predator, I couldn’t imagine my boss being one. This reminded me of when Michael wore his ladies’ power suit to the office and showed off the backside.”
“My boss told the most inappropriate joke to me at work…”
“My boss told the most inappropriate joke to me at work, in front of about 10 people. Boss: What do you call nuts on your chest? Me: Uh, chestnuts? Boss: What do you call nuts on a wall? Me: Uh, walnuts? Boss: What do you call nuts on your chin? Me: Uh, I don’t know? Boss: A schlong in your mouth! Awkwardness throughout the whole room ensues….”
“He was actually upset it didn’t scare me…”
“My boss put a fake severed head in my bottom desk drawer and watched me from the corner of the room to see if it scared me. I just looked up (in a very Jim way) and blinked a few times and then closed the drawer. The look on his face was pure defeat. He was actually upset it didn’t scare me, like that’s all he thought about the night before and I completely ruined his day.”
“In the middle of an important meeting, she leans over to me and whispers…”
“I work at a fortune 500 company. In the middle of an important meeting, which was based around my boss, she leans over to me and whispers ‘I’m organizing a flash mob for later this year. I want you to be a part of it.'”