17 Fliers Describe The One Experience On A Plane They Will Never Forget

We all know the pains of air travel from the cramped spaces to the long waits to the horrible food, but for the most part it's a pretty mundane experience. Yet that isn't always the case, as these fliers reveal the funny, scary and downright crazy plane moments they will never forget.

Can’t Keep His Hands To Himself.

“On January 4th, 2013, a passenger drank two bottles of duty-free alcohol he picked up at the airport in Iceland. He apparently then tried to grope two women sitting next to him, along with spitting on random passengers. Finally, when he became unruly, (i.e. trying to choke the woman next to him and screaming the plane was going to crash), fellow passengers subdued him and tie him up for the rest of the flight. He was escorted off the flight by police when it landed.” (Source)

Less Sick Plane Please.

“In Africa, waiting for an international flight. An announcement came: ‘Plane sick we order new plane.’ We went back to the bar. Two hours later next announcement: ‘second plane more sick than first plane, we take first plane.’ Needless to say we asked for far more information and a new plane before boarding.”

Where’s The Dog?!

“A State Dept. communicator transferring from the US to Saudi Arabia with his family in 1982. Among his family was a 95lb dog. Upon arrival all the luggage was unloaded, including one empty dog cage. The cargo area was searched; the airplane’s cargo compartments were searched, no dog. Of course, paperwork was filed and phone calls were made back to where the dog was to have been put on the plane. Ground personnel swore the dog was put on the plane. One week later, the dog was found in the wing of the aircraft. The dog was dehydrated, hungry and not well-pleased by his ordeal. The airline considered billing the owner for the damage the dog had caused to the plane but decided that the bad publicity would cost more in the end.” (Source)

“Naked Guy. Definitely The Naked Guy.”

“The pilot running down the stairs of a 747 with a pistol in Chicago was close, but the naked guy takes the cake. In my 2,000,000 BIS (butt in seat) miles on United, I’ve seen and been through a lot. But the strangest incident that happened to me was on a flight about 10 years ago. About two hours into the flight I had settled in to watch a movie. Out of nowhere, some guy bumped hard into my seat back, and then landed square in my lap. Stark naked. Not even his socks. A very embarrassed flight attendant helped the confused man onto his feet and back into the loo and got him dressed. Later, the flight attendant told me that the gentleman was afraid of flying. His friends had given him a pill to calm his nerves, telling him to take the pill when the plane takes off and not to drink any alcohol. Apparently he ignored the no-alcohol instructions. And then, for some unknown reason, had gone to the bathroom and taken off all his clothes. After returning to his seat fully clothed, he fell asleep. Upon arrival, the flight attendant asked him if he was OK, and he said he had a very pleasant flight. He didn’t remember a thing, and his friends promised not to tell him what happened. Although I know I could never keep such a secret!” (Source)

Some People Have No Boundaries.

“Seated side-by-side on a 14-hour overseas flight, two business-class passengers became romantically involved. At some point they began kissing and fondling each other while sitting in their seats. The passion became so intense that the couple began having sexual intercourse in their seats. Bewildered passengers immediately began ringing their flight attendant call buttons. Despite the flight attendants’ urgent pleas, the couple refused to terminate their airborne lovemaking. Ultimately, the captain had to intervene. It was necessary for him to physically separate the lovers to get them to stop.” (Source)

Definitely What The F***.

“Here is one incident. Not of a person who went bat-crap-crazy. But of a plane that had the weirdest, one of the most dangerous and the most what the f* malfunction I have ever seen. British airways flight 5390 lost its cockpit window in an explosive decompression while in mid flight and the captain was sucked halfway out of the aircraft. The stewards latched onto his body, fearing that he would get sucked into the engines causing them to malfunction. The co-pilot, fighting tears for his dead captain, fear of losing his own life and that of his passengers, keeping his cool while every bloody alarm was ringing off the hook in the cockpit, landed the plane. Think that’s weird? Here’s the bitchen part: the pilot survived.” (Source)

“This Was Very Sad And I Still Think About It Even Today.”

“I was on a flight when a lovely little five year-old girl sat down in the seat next to me. She was adorable, and the flight attendants asked if I could help keep an eye on her. Within about an hour or so, she had drawn a picture of me and told me she liked and trusted me. I asked who was going to meet her at the airport when she landed. ‘My mom and step-dad. They’re really mean. They hit me a lot. They also lock me up in my room and don’t let me out, sometimes for days.’ She got quiet. ‘They yell at me a lot, too. They drink too much, is what my dad says.’ My jaw dropped. She asked me not to say anything as she would get in trouble. I asked her, ‘Are you just playing, or is this real?’ She assured me it was real. Her father didn’t want her to go, but because of the divorce decree had no way to prevent it. I excused myself in order to to tell the flight attendants. They decided to call ahead and have an officer meet her at the gate. When I came back, I told her what I’d done and what was going to happen when she landed. She scolded me for it. ‘You promised you wouldn’t tell anyone!’ I told her that by letting the police know, this could prevent it from happening again, and that maybe once enough people knew about it, she could stay with her dad instead. She smiled at the thought of that. The plane landed, she thanked me and told me she loved me. Then the police met us on the jetway and pulled her aside to meet with her parents. I still wonder how it went, and what became of this wonderful, sweet little girl. I hope and pray that it turned out OK for her. I know I will never, ever forget that flight, or her.” (Source)

He Does Not Like Hearing “No.”

“A flight attendant was returning to work after a double-mastectomy and a struggle with multiple sclerosis. A passenger became enraged when there was no room in the overhead bin above his seat. He snatched the bags from the compartment and threw them on the floor, then put in his own bag. The flight attendant appeared from the galley to see what the fuss was all about. When she heard what happened, she said, sir, you can’t do that.’ The passenger then broke her jaw with one punch.” (Source)

“Can I Bring These Drugs With Me?”

“I was flying from London to LAX. I was in my mid twenties and single. There was very pretty girl in the row with me. We got to chatting. She asked me if it was safe to bring drugs in to USA? What? WHAT!? She had two pills of ecstasy in her bag. Obviously couldn’t bring through customs. But it would be a waste to throw them away, so we popped them. A very entertaining way to spend a long flight: no music or lights, but it was good stuff so sitting there, talking deep stuff, cuddling and ‘forming inappropriate emotional attachments.’ Going through immigration we must have looked totally spaced, but I guess enough people look like that anyway after a long flight. Her boyfriend met her at arrivals & I never heard from her again.” (Source)

MAny Laughs.

“Every time I think about this, I chuckle because I have a very sick sense of humor. So one of the hottest chicks I’ve ever seen is sitting next to me on a flight. At first she tried to ignore me, but I’m well practiced with that kind of treatment, so her powers were worthless. We started talking and we really hit it off. She was returning from a month long sabbatical in Madagascar. I asked her why she was there. She told me it was strange, but the letters ‘MA’ had a very powerful meaning in her life. It was her mission to visit every country in the world that starts with MA. I laughed because coincidentally, these are also my initials. As expected this didn’t impress her much, so I went on to ask what other countries that start with MA she had already visited. She went on to say that she has to save for 10 months in order to afford these trips and that she had only been able to afford 3 so far. The other two were Mauritius, and Marocco. I paused for a second, smiled and said, ‘you saved for almost a year so that you could spend one month in Marocco?’ She stated yes and it was worth every penny. Our little ‘thing’ quickly ended with my next sentence assisted by my warped sense of humor and my inability to stop laughing at her. I said ‘so you spent a month in a country dedicated to fulfilling your calling and you not once realized that you were in Morocco?’ She tilted her head and looked confused. I pulled out the flight magazine and showed her the spelling. The look on her very pretty face was just priceless. See, I’m an ass, getting joy through the failures of others. Maybe she will get connected with MO in the next phase of her life.” (Source)

Drink The Fear Away.

“At about 7:00 am, my new wife and I were waiting to board an Olympic Airways flight. We strike up a conversation with an Englishman who was downing his second or third shot. I asked if he always drank in the morning, he said ‘never, except when flying Olympic.’ Shortly after takeoff everyone notices that one engine on the left side is on fire and very soon thereafter an engine on the right starts smoking badly. The plane makes a sharp 180 and returns safely and I consider joining the Englishman for a couple of scotches. Not more than hour later Olympic announces that flight is ready to board. Only after being on the plane do we realize that it’s the very same flame thrower we had been on originally! Being young and invincible, we stayed on the plane and made it along with a very well lubricated Englishman who did not seem to be particularly surprised or bothered by the whole ordeal.” (Source)

That Escalated Quickly…

“My mother gets onto a flight and sits down next to a visibly nervous, fidgety woman, who proceeds to ramble on about how much she hates flying, how she had back problems and continues on to spill every detail of her life. About 20 minutes into the flight, the woman FINALLY stops complaining. She says she doesn’t feel well, then closes her eyes to try and sleep. Another 10 minutes go by. All the sudden, the sleeping seat mate slumps over onto my mom’s shoulder. Now officially annoyed, my mother taps her on the arm. No response. She shakes the woman. Nothing. She pushes the lady back up into her seat, only to realize that this woman isn’t breathing. Seconds later, blood starts pouring out of the lady’s mouth! My mom jumps up and grabs a flight attendant. The captain takes the plane down for an emergency landing. An ambulance meets them just off the runway and they rush the woman away. My mom has no idea if this woman died right next to her or not. There wasn’t any update on her status from the airline after that.” (Source)

Like Hitting The Jackpot.

“When I arrived at the boarding gate, I was told with a chuckle that I’d been randomly selected for additional security screening. I didn’t get the joke until they also informed me that I was going to be the only passenger. I boarded the plane and the flight attendant said I could sit wherever I liked. For the first time in my life, I felt compelled to pay close attention to the safety instructions in order to avoid being rude. The pilot came on the air and said, ‘Welcome to the Doug Massey Private Airline. We hope you enjoy your flight. After we’ve reached the cruising altitude, I’ll turn off the seat belt sign and encourage you to try all the other seats in the cabin and let us know which one you like best.’ It was surreal.” (Source)

O.M.G.

“This is from a co-worker. She was on a cross-country flight and was in the middle seat. The woman on the window starts talking across her to the man on the aisle. It becomes quickly apparent that they are a couple because they start arguing about their relationship. They are in fact openly taking about divorce. The arguing goes on for 20 or 30 minutes and becomes increasingly hostile. She finally interrupts their bickering by offering to trade seats with one of them. They’re so angry at each other though that they refuse. After a short silence they continue their arguing with her in the middle. After a few more minutes she tells a flight attendant but is told that every seat is sold and there’s nothing she can do. Yet after a few minutes the attendant comes back with a smile and says, ‘I’ve found a seat for you.’ She then explains that she is going to sit in first class. She says, ‘there’s a man who has bought every seat in first class so he could have his privacy. I told him about your situation and he’s agreed to give you one of his seats on one condition: you are not to speak to him under any circumstances.’ So they get to the first class cabin and as she’s putting her luggage away Tom Cruise gets up and says, ‘it sounds awful back there. I don’t mind you sitting here but this is the last time we’ll speak.’ She restrains herself from wanting to hug him and sits down and thoroughly enjoys the rest of the flight.” (Source)

“The Case Of The Lady With A Fake Concussion!”

“More than halfway through the flight, the pilot announced if there was a doctor on-board because a passenger was sick. I was stretching my legs at the galley and could hear the attendants talking. ‘Oh, yea, she’s totally faking it. I mean how heavy is that thing really.’ Apparently one of the panels of the false ceiling in the lavatory had come loose and hit a passenger on the head and she was complaining of a concussion. An hour or two pass. The pilot now announces that the passenger is ‘very sick’ and the plane is going to be diverted. WTF! We land there’s an emergency crew waiting on the tarmac for her. They examine her for about 30 minutes and say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with her. Passengers are livid! The medics are about to put her back on the plane and there is growing anger in the cabin for this woman. The pilot tells the medics that there’s no way she was going to come back on the plane and they should take her to the hospital (smart decision as I was sure that the woman seated next to me was ready to give this girl a real concussion!). All this takes about 4 hours. All this while, we’re sitting on the tarmac: no food, no air and definitely, no booze. When they finally take her to the hospital, the pilot announces that the crew has surpassed their ‘allotted flight time’ so now we had to wait for a replacement crew. There is no United crew on standby. Few more hours pass with no food, no air and definitely, no booze! The toilets are all backed up by now as well. 8 hours into this, the pilot announced that they had permission to take us home. There was applause, people cheered, they cried and we were off. It took us about 19 hours to get from London to LA.” (Source)

Four For The Price Of One!

“I’ll offer up 4 quick stories: 1. We’re taxiing down the runway when we suddenly do a 180 and head back to the gate. In explanation, the captain comes on and says: ‘Apparently the baggage crew has put the pets aboard in an unheated cargo compartment.’ Pupsicles avoided. 2. On a flight I hear one of the loudest bangs I’ve ever heard. My ears were ringing for hours after. A flight attendant, clearly not knowing that she’s hit ‘intercom’ instead of ‘phone’ to the cabin, yells, ‘What the f–k was that?! It went off right under my a–!’ The captain says, ‘That, Linda, was a lightning strike. And you’re on intercom.’ 3. A colleague and I are on a Friday flight. We’re literally running through the airport to make our flight and salvage a weekend. We choose different security lines and I happen to end up 2 mins ahead of my colleague. I’m on the jetbridge and my phone rings. It’s my colleague, saying the door is closed and there’s no gate attendant. Thinking of nothing but ‘no man left behind,’ I run up and open the door for him. We get in line and sit down like nothing happened. For the next 15 mins there’s lots of commotion at the front, but eventually we take off with no repercussions. 4. We’re taxiing for takeoff. But this time the announcement is that the plane is overweight. Unfortunately when they called the names of the passengers who had to leave happened to ALL be large individuals. Several insensitive people around me had a good laugh about this.” (Source)

Zero Patience.

“I was on board a flight waiting for takeoff. After some taxiing, the plane stopped behind a line of planes. A few minutes passed, then the pilot spoke, sounding a little agitated. He told us the plane ahead of us was having a technical problem and that the tower was not giving him a solution but to wait. He told us our plane was in perfect shape and ready for takeoff and that it wasn’t his fault. He apologized profusely and told us something weird: ‘if they don’t fix this I’ll fix it myself.’ A few minutes later our plane started to move off the tarmac and over the grass and then we were on the taxiway again but the plane stopped. The pilot spoke again. ‘It seems that now the same f–king people that couldn’t fix the broken plane want to check MY plane because I went off the tarmac, I’m trying to refuse but they have threatened to not let us take off, I’m going to fill a complaint with…’ and now he listed a large group of people and organizations including the tower, airline executives, presidents of different countries and the pope. Eventually the plane was checked and cleared and we took off. Brazilians can be great pilots but they can be scary when driving ground vehicles and now that includes planes!” (Source)