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17 REAL Parenting Products That Are Absolutely Senseless

By Johnny Barrow
Shutterstock / fizkes

There are tons of useful products out there that make raising children a breeze — well, it’s still hard but you get the point. For every one good product out there are about twenty terrible ones. Check out these odd parenting products that would never fly when you were younger.

Kaloo Blue Perfume

That new baby smell can get old fast. Better spray some fragrant chemicals on your child to cover it up.

iPad Apptivity Seat

You child is going to be addicted to technology anyway — might as well start them off young.

The Baby Lasso

The Baby Lasso is the perfect gift for the lazy parent in your life. Using your hands is too much of a hassle these days.

The Kickbee

The Kickbee automatically tweets "I Kicked Mommy" to your friends and family. Let your child know you are a terrible parent before its even born.

Buff Baby

Body image is important, and The Buff Baby dumbbell will get the message across loud and clear.

Placenta Bear

Nope! Get that thing away from us! If you take your placenta and make a teddy bear out of it, you are a disgusting parent.

The Baby Mop

Babies are basically little freeloaders. Start making them earn their keep with the Baby Mop.

The Bathroom Babykeeper

There's no better feeling then hanging up the baby after a long day. 

The Snotsucker

We don't know what this is and we don't want to. If you are sucking something out of your child's nose with a straw, you are weird.

The Zaky Hand Pillow

Make your baby creepily need pillow hands to fall asleep — or give them a new found fear of Thing from "The Addams Family."

WhyCry Cry Analyzer

Your baby is crying, you better know exactly why or you won't be able to help. Just kidding. If your mother didn't need one, you don't either.

The Windi

Yes, this product goes in exactly where you think it does. No, you can't raise a baby without this product. Yes, that last sentence was complete sarcasm.

Potty Trainer iPad Holder

You play on your phone while you're on the toilet. Why not let your baby enjoy the same fun? 

Grillz Pacifier

We're not even sure if rappers still wear these thing, but we do know one thing — your baby shouldn't be wearing them. 

Baby’s Poop Alarm

Because you are such a busy parent, you need to hear an alarm to know when to change your baby's diaper. If you can't tell when your baby needs a diaper change without an alarm, you must not spend anytime around the kid.

The Crumb Cap

Babies are messy; that's just the way it is. But there's no reason to dress your baby for a tropical storm every time they eat.

Baby Bangs

No baby deserves to be bald. Give your little kid the confidence to to do anything, by giving them the gift of hair.

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