18 Jaw-Dropping Kids Gifts That Should Be Illegal

There’s nothing that brings you more joy than seeing your kids play with their toys on Christmas morning. Although, if you bought your kids any of these toys, you might feel differently about them playing. Unless you want to set your kids up for failure, you might want to stay clear of these awful toys.

Shaving Baby Doll

Another Japanese classic— this hairy baby doll. Show your kids that body hair is nasty and they need to get rid of it, and ALL of it, early on.

Breast Feeding Baby Doll

What better gift for your young daughter than giving her a pretend baby? That is, unless it includes a strap-on kit for simulated breast feeding.

Russian Roulette Gun

Kabba Kick is a Japanese toy gun that gives kids all the fun of Russian Roulette without the consequences — you know, like death. Show kids that pretend suicide is fun!

Lightning Reaction Game

Players must hit the light before their opponents or receive an electrical shock. What better way to bond the family like shocking everyone?

TSA Playmobil

TSA security checks can be fun. Let’s hope the set comes with latex gloves for those random cavity searches.

STD Plush Toys

Give your kids an STD this Christmas! No, really. These cute plush toys will get your kids familiar with all the STDs.

E.T. Finger Light

Pretty sure there might’ve been a surplus of sex toys when they created this. Come on, there’s no reason this should’ve ever been distributed.

The Punisher Shape Shifter

The Shape Shifter Punisher comes equipped with a “crotch rocket.” Really? Who let this get past inspection?

My Cleaning Trolley

What better to teach your girl to reach for the stars and do what their heart tells them to. Show them the glamorous life of following gender roles with this kit!

Two Finger Squirter Water Gun

Kids need to learn that two fingers will always do the trick. You’re just giving them a head start in life.

God Action Figure

What better way to put the fear of God in your kid. Plus, God is ready for anything with his Kalashnikov AK-47.

Vibrating Harry Potter Broom

Another sexually charged toy meant for kids. Don’t be surprised if this toy sees use beyond its intended age group.

Jibba Jabber Doll

The Jibba Jabber doll makes noise when you shake its neck. Strangling someone is a great pastime — better let your kid know that right away.

Lil’ Monkey Baby Doll

Nothing says racial progress like this “lil’ monkey” baby doll. If you want to set America back a few generations, this is for you.

Pole Dancer Doll

Set your daughter up for an exciting life with this pole dancing doll. Might as well go ahead and give her some clear platform heels to go along with it.