Summer Camp is a necessity during the summer. It's impossible to go to one and not have a memory that you'll never forget. Here are 19 peoples' most hilarious memories from their time at camp.
“Yeah, 3 days later I was taking a bath in…”
“Was a counselor at a day camp. Little sh*t came to camp with ‘all these spots and they’re itchy, Ms. Shortergirl.’ I look, and the kid was covered in chicken pox. The camp director called the Mom to come pick him up. When she got there, she screamed at him, ‘I told you not to tell anyone!’ Yeah, 3 days later I was taking a bath in Calamine lotion and trying not to die.”
“We assumed it got on his hands and he was flicking it and…”
“So this one kid, 4th or 5th grade, had to use the bathroom after we went on about a mile walk with about 20 campers. Luckily we were by some bathrooms at a local pond. The kid was in there for a while and me and the other counselor got tired of entertaining the other children so I walk over and banged on the door. The kid walks out and acts like everything is normal. I look at him and say ‘Is that…is that poo on your chin??’ He shat everywhere. the floor, the toilet, the handle, the sink, all four walls, the ceiling, arms, hands, chin, clothes, shoes. I guess he had intense diarrhea. We assumed it got on his hands and he was flicking it and trying to clean it up with balled up TP.”
“She turned around and showed…”
“When I was 12/13 I had a Nintendo DSi. The DSi had the capability to take photos and edit them. I decided it would be hilarious if I took a of picture of my junk and enlarge everything (it looked like I had elephantitis). I then erased the middle of my titanic sack, and turned it into a boarder for other pictures (I wanted to take a bunch of artsy pictures and have it be surrounded by my nuts). Think I forgot about the camp part? Nah. I decided to bring my DSi on a camp trip to a water park. The bus ride is long, and I needed entertainment. What could go wrong? Well, I was in a group of friends where I was the only guy, and I found most of the girls attractive. One of the girls that was all over me the entire week at camp was sitting next to me on the bus and wanted to play some games on my DSi. I’m a nice guy, so I let her play. After around 30 minutes I looked over to her and she had the blankest expression on her face. I looked at my DSi and there was an artsy picture of a forest with my ‘boarder’ surrounding it on the screen. She found where I buried my nuts. I tried to grab my gaming consul back with shock and embarrassment on my face. But it was too late. She turned around and showed the rest of the group. Needless to say I sat alone on the bus ride home crying while playing pokemon diamond.”
“She punched in me in the face…”
“I used to be a sports specialist, which just means instead of being a counselor with the same bunk all day, the kids would come to us for a sport of some kind and then leave and we’d get new campers. One day a little girl was crying because she wasn’t on the team of her friend and I explained that these things happen in life and we gotta deal. She refused to play and was just crying so I decided to mock cry back and show this 4 yr old how dumb she looked cause that’s how I get down. After about 30 seconds of really making her feel stupid she punched in me in the face. It was awesome. I was such a d*ckhead to a 4 year old she punched me in the face.”
“An ambulance had to come and we later learned that he…”
“We played this game called Mission Impossible one night of each session. Basically what happened was that certain counselors were designated as Wanted, and they would wear flag football belts. The boundaries extended into the forest and the counselors could be hiding anywhere within them. The cabin that captured the most flags won the mission. The game was a blast and everyone would dress in camo and wear headlamps. That particular year the guy counselors thought it was hilarious to hide in trees or behind trees and throw flour bombs at the other guy counselors. For those who don’t know, you fill a balloon with flour and when it hits someone they’re covered head to toe in white flour. That night it started raining during the game, and when flour gets wet, it hardens. So one of the guys didn’t realize this and slung the flour bomb, now rock hard, straight into another guy’s crotch. He immediately turned green and passed out. An ambulance had to come and we later learned that he lost a testicle. Because of a flour bomb.”
“He would then proceed to run around like…”
“Camp counsellor for two summers. This one kid would wear sweat pants every day. Without prompt by the other kids he would put his arms through his foot holes and then pull the waistband up over his head so he looked like some weird two legged torso. He would then proceed to run around like that chasing the other kids grabbing their ankles. They were terrified.”
“I gave them a huge speech about how safe the lake was…”
“I’ve been awoken by the sound of a bear trying to remove my bathing suit from the clothing line, then giving up and just licking the water drops off it. A porcupine stalked me all the way from the showers back to my cabin for 2 nights in a row. While I was trying to prove the lake was safe to swim in a fish bit me on the toe and wouldn’t let go. I gave them a huge speech about how safe the lake was while it nommed on my flesh.”
“I can only assume what that liquid was…”
“I was on night patrol at my camp. The counselors slept in different cabins and the kids slept alone, so we had one counselor patrolling the cabins. I was opening the doors to each to make sure they had all gone to sleep. Then in one cabin all the kids where sitting in a circle and a few where completely naked. One of the kids was a bit more physically mature than the others. They where all 8-10 years old. The more mature kid had some kind of liquid in his hand. He was also one of the naked ones. Each kid seemed to be taking turns poking the liquid that was in his hand. A few even poked it then licked their fingers. I can only assume what that liquid was. I just slowly left.”
“I remember seeing a huge flame…”
“A kid I was on camp with got a tick on his penis, he tried to drown it in methylated spirits, but it wasn’t working. He tried to then light it on fire, but didn’t do a thorough job in wiping up the spirits. I remember seeing a huge flame out the corner of my eye, followed by him screaming and manically slapping the fire on his d*ck.”
“I was worshipped by small children as a Lego Death God…”
“I worked a camp for a bit where we had a bunch of ‘buffer’ activities that we did when kids got dropped off, while we set things up, and while we waited for the kids to get picked up. The most popular was our vast amount of Legos that we had and the kids obviously took to making cars, spaceships, planes and the like. There was a choice few parts for the really cool stuff and as such the kids eventually started fighting. No matter what punishments we tried they would not stop fighting over the legos so I took to drastic measures. The kids seemed to argue about who had the strongest looking lego man. I then brought in a zombie lego man who had a jetpack and a space helmet and all that. He became ‘the invincible lego space zombie’. I told all the kids that he was the most powerful lego man possible and they needed to listen to me and quiet down or the lego zombie would get you. As always there is one kid who immediately does the exact opposite of whatever was said started yelling and running around with his lego plane. I told him the lego zombie had come for him and took his plane. Then I made the entire camp gather around in a circle and they got to watch as the lego zombie showed them exactly what happened to their precious legos if they misbehaved. I dropped the legos from way up and let them smash on the floor, then the kid who was misbehaving had to pick up his now shattered lego creation as the pieces went all over the room. This fixed the problem until the kids started ratting each other out and then eventually they started demanding the public lego executions. It got to the point where they would start chanting lego zombie, lego zombie, lego zombie as I held the lego creation up in the air before shattering it. Needless to say we took legos away. I was worshipped by small children as a Lego Death God.”
“Kids began getting sick and…”
“Sixty-seven kids at a summer camp in Washington came down with the Norovirus. Kids began getting sick and the camp had to be evacuated. This virus spreads within 24-48 hours and lasts for up to three days.”
“I put the little guy on my shoulders and started…”
“Was guiding a trail group along a trail to the lake, didn’t know that the group that had passed 10 minutes before had some chucklef**k kids that took turns kicking a ground hornet nest. My group got swarmed. 19 kids went one direction, and a single kid went the other direction covered in hornets. I yelled at him to stop and roll on the ground, and I caught up. Killed the hornets and probably got about 20 stings myself. The little kid looked at me from the ground and tearfully said ‘I’m allergic.’ I radioed my colleague and had her take over the rest of the group, and I put the little guy on my shoulders and started the long hike back…and I got him back to camp before he went into shock.”
“We checked his bunk and found his book of…”
“There was one kid who was big into photography. He also joined the polar bear swim club, which meant he was up and out at 4am to head over to the lake. At the end of the week, the polar bear instructor said he never showed up for the entire time. We checked his bunk and found his book of polaroids where he snuck into the girl’s cabins and took many, many upskirts.”
“He randomly started urinating and…”
“I was at a tennis camp when I was 12 and there was a kid standing in the middle of a circle of kids, we were playing a game or something. He randomly started urinating and asked ‘why is there water coming out of my pants?'”
“The smoke detector in their cabin failed to go off…”
“An overloaded electrical outlet caused a fire that almost led to the death of a group of teen girls and their counselor at Camp Pontiac. The smoke detector in their cabin failed to go off until flames had almost fully engulfed the cabin. One of the girls in the cabin noticed something was wrong when the bedside table fan turned off. She saw the flames at the ceiling of the cabin and alerted everyone.”
“That traumatized me for life…”
“I went to this girl scout sleep away camp for the first time one summer. I woke up covered in daddy long legs. Apparently, that part of the camp was having a bit of an infestation lately and they hadn’t mentioned it. That traumatized me for life.”
“Not my proudest moments…”
“I was a counselor for a weeklong trip with a class of 5th graders. We all split off into groups; some stayed at camp and others went hiking. We ended up finding this gorgeous rock pool with a waterfall. One of my kids asked me if he could jump from a rock into the water and I said sure. Big mistake. Well, now there’s about 25 5th graders jumping from 20 foot high rocks.. I didn’t think much of it until one of them slipped, smacked his head on a rock, and unconscious, fell into the water. I had to perform CPR while single handedly trying to call for help and calm down the other 24 little kids. Not my proudest moments.”
“The raccoon hops down and leisurely…”
“We had a HUGE raccoon population around the camp. Big families that would get into gang fights at night. It was well understood that you couldn’t leave a scrap of food out at the campsites, especially not in the tents, because they were just sewn canvas sheets on platforms that weren’t sealed at the bottom. One night, someone came back from town and brought us a big box of Tim Horton donuts, which the staff devoured before lights out. One girl got one with powdered sugar on it and, not having mirrors, didn’t realize she got a bunch on her face. Hours later, she waked us in bed with a feeling of weight on her chest and a tickle on her chin. Yes, there was a big, fat raccoon on top of her, LICKING THE POWDERED SUGAR OFF HER FACE. She screams, her tent mate jumps up, flicks on the flashlight and starts screaming too. The raccoon hops down and leisurely exits through the side of the tent. We didn’t see her until lunch the next day, presumably because she spent 12 hours or so scrubbing her face.”
“No one quite knew how to respond to that one…”
“There was one kid who had discovered a talent for putting things up his nose and pulling them out his mouth, mostly spaghetti. We had a talent show and for his act he got in front of the camp and dipped a piece of spaghetti in tabasco sauce. He snorted it up his nose and quickly pulled it out of his mouth, then immediately started screaming bloody murder. Finally he grabbed a carton of milk he had in front of him and started pouring/snorting it up his nose, it went all over his face and was trickling out his mouth. No one quite knew how to respond to that one.”