Nineteen people share the biggest things they wished they had known sooner in life and we're glad they're sharing!
Saying No
“To say no to things I dont want to do.”
What Other People Think
“That other people don’t care what you think. They’re more worried about themselves, and you aren’t the first thing on their priority list. Could’ve saved so many headaches if I knew this years ago.”
Waiting For Someday…
“That the ‘someday’ you are waiting for, (you know, the one when your real life will start to happen) is happening right now. Don’t wait to do the thing.I always think about the Hugh Laurie quote: ‘It’s a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you’re ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.'”
Wet Basements
“Never buy a house with a wet basement. It means it’s one that’s subject to flooding, despite the use of sump pumps.”
Taking Advantage
“If you let people take advantage of you, they will.”
Staying In Shape
“Should have stayed in shape. Much harder to get BACK into shape than to just stay there in the first place.”
Growing Pains
“Some people are shit in this world, some of your friends are actually just trash, and you sometimes have to cut people out of your life to grow.”
Dental heath
“Soft drinks are terrible for dental health.”
Unrealistic Expectations
“You don’t need to recreate your parent’s standard of living at 22.”
Professional help
“Talking to a professional about my mental health. I’m 27 years old now and am just starting talking with a psychologist/life coach. It’s a world a difference getting the perspective and advice of a 3rd party not involved in the situation. Wish I did it when I was younger. I would probably be in a different place in life now, but I’m working on where I want to be now.”
Socializing
“You need to force yourself to socialize. Don’t isolate yourself. Isolating yourself is terribly unhealthy. I have always preferred being by myself, but there comes a day when you realize that sometimes that very ‘preference’ is dreadfully detrimental. When you learn that you actively keep people away in order to prevent being hurt… That’s a tough day.”
Self control
“‘Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.’ Seriously, I used to use every opportunity that my parents weren’t home to smoke weed/fuck around and just generally be a worthless piece of sh–t. After I went to school I had that type of freedom all the time. Luckily I had this epiphany before my grades dipped too bad but just because it’s possible to do whatever you want at a given moment doesn’t mean you should. Learning willpower and motivation as well as self control apparently didn’t come until I was an adult but I’m glad I was able to grow the fuck up and get my sh–t together.”
Saving Up
“To save money. Now I’m always broke and I never have enough money for a back up plan.”
Changing people
“You can’t change people. No matter how hard you try, support, love, whatever… In the end people can only change themselves if they are willing to. Learned that one the hard way.”
How to take a message
“I didn’t know that'”leaving a message’ was YOU listening to someone tell you what the message was, and then relaying it… So when I was 14, my mom’s coworker called home. I told her she wasn’t home, she asked ‘Can I leave a message?” I said sure, and hung up. I figured she’d just call back and I’d let it ring and go to the answering machine. Made sense in my 9th-grade brain.”
Anger issues
“Letting go of anger. You’ll have fights with your family, friends, and coworkers. You’ll get angry at politicians or ideologies. You’ll get angry at something somebody said on Reddit. But in the end it’s all useless. Anger doesn’t accomplish anything. I’ve realized anger is just my own unresolved bullshit.”
“A” For Effort
“That effort is more important than intelligence. As a student with mostly A’s or B’s throughout school without needing to put much effort into my education I suffered greatly during studies and in my actual job. Most people think I am an under-achiever, which is not completely wrong.”
Believing In Yourself
“That I am capable of success. I spent so long doubting myself and not doing things because I didn’t think I could.”
A Lot of Good Advice
“I have learned a lot of things throughout the year so here goes. 1) How to set boundaries Took my best friend of 8 years to reveal himself to be a total as–hole (rather, he was always an as–hole but I kept making excuses for him). I realized that I let him do all of these things and trample all over me before I decided that it was enough. I genuinely think this is something that I always understood but never had the confidence to stand up to. It really came down to the realization that its okay to put myself first and that I don’t owe anything to anyone. I learned that I have the power to control my universe and I should never be ashamed of that. 2) How to talk to the opposite sex. This was more about becoming comfortable with the opposite sex rather than specifically learning how to do this. If you’ve ever had a fun conversation with anyone, you’re capable of doing it with someone you’re attracted to. It’s just about not getting in your head and being comfortable because the truth is, all of these superficial things won’t stop someone who’s attracted to you from talking to you. You have to focus on being the most attractive version of yourself and being comfortable expressing interest in someone. This isn’t easy and takes a lot of time. Don’t rush things and focus on making it fun and becoming more and more comfortable with these kinds of situations. The journey is more important than the destination when it comes to this, especially when you figure out how to make it fun and how to make it work for you. I’m 26 but I feel like I’m discovering girls for the first time and having so much fun (and heartbreak!) with it. 3) How to take care of my appearance and personal hygiene. This was about taking pride in my appearance and wanting to be the best possible version of myself. I learned how to buy clothes that fit in a flattering way mostly by just watching what other people were dressed in and taking mental notes of what I like and don’t like. I learned basic color matching based on combinations of colors and skin tone. This is pretty basic to understand and actually comes quite intuitively to most people once you know what to look for as certain colour combinations are aesthetically pleasing. I also learned the importance of appearance and impression at my job as it will significantly affect how people treat you. I want to be respected so I will portray myself how I think someone respectful should. That’s why even the little things matter to me now. Finally, personal hygiene should be a no-brainer to anyone that has spent time with someone that has really bad BO, smelly breath. 4)How to eat healthily. I became pretty deeply depressed 3 summers ago and gained 30 pounds. I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself because I had no control over my life anymore (that’s how it felt at the time) and take back control of whatever I could. At the time, all I was doing was eating and sleeping then so I decided to focus on controlling what I eat. This began with educating myself and the biggest thing that helped me was reframing the exercise from a ‘diet’ to a mindset adjustment. I researched nutrition and educated myself on what I was putting in my body which helped me re-adjust my relationship with food as I became more mindful. I then also decided to re-learn what foods I really like and what foods I eat because its just there. I discovered I don’t have a sweet tooth (thank god!) and prefer more savory stuff. Then I realized I didn’t really miss milk and cereal anymore. I wasn’t really bothered by not having fizzy drinks. Its all about slowly experimenting with your diet and figuring out what you can do without and what you really enjoy. I did all of this while logging all my calories and drinking lots of water and managed to lose quite a bit of weight (I’ve lost another 35 pounds since then). I also learned how to be okay with being hungry. Its really not complicated, the difficulty comes with sticking with it every day and also forgiving yourself for when you slip up. 5) How to socialize I have my hobby and my old shitty job to thank for that. Put yourself in the position to meet lots of people and try to speak to as many as you can, every time pushing out of your comfort zone a little further. Find people that share your passion so its easy to talk to them but then try to get to know them as people. Learn how to be comfortable around others and never be embarrassed for being who you are. Learn from observing others and try to understand what about them that you like and try to emulate it. Watch stand up comedians or funny presenters on how to tell a good story. I think what really helped me was the mentality of ‘I’ll probably never see this person again so what does it matter what they think.’ As a rough guideline, I think its always a good idea to try to match other peoples level of enthusiasm as a guideline and always try to be fun and positive. I think the overarching principles here are that you pride and confidence in yourself, really get to know yourself, have fun whatever you do and learn from your mistakes. Its not an easy path if this isn’t something that got taught to you already but the nice thing is that if you take it step by step, eventually it’ll start snowballing and the rest comes a lot easier. This was a lot longer than I thought it would be, I hope it helps.”