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19 Relatable Thoughts And Moments That Every Retail Worker Will Regrettably Understand

By John Hueste
Shutterstock / The Len

Synonyms for Black Friday: Hell, Apocalypse, End of Times, Underworld, Death's Cold Embrace, The Day The Sun Went Dark, Soul Sucking Incubus, Hopelessness, Shear And Utter Despair, Mental Breakdown, Soul For Sale. You get the idea. Working in retail probably isn't the worst thing in the world. Probably.

BLACK FRIDAY.

A.K.A. your version of Hell on earth.

Customers are basically children trapped inside adult bodies.

This is why you can’t leave them unattended. THEY WRECK EVERYTHING.

The sad truth that nothing good lasts forever.

After stacking pants perfectly on the shelves, you feel like an artist. Then after five minutes, your soul is immediately crushed by customer who can’t find her size.

That “it must be free!” joke that is the bane of your existence.

On the outside, you smile widely and give a faint chuckle, on the inside, a hatred for this jokester is burning with the intensity of 1,000 suns.

The surprises the customers leave in the dressing rooms.

*Opens door. Dies inside.*

At least this customer tried.

I mean, it’s better than just dumping the clothes on the floor, but you still have to fix this.

The customer who slides into the store minutes before closing.

You have perfected a face that tells these customers, “I have to smile and be nice to you, but I am thinking about beating you senseless with that mannequin you’re standing next to you.” And it always does the trick.

“CLEAN UP ON AISLE FIVE”

If you hear this, you don’t want to be anywhere near aisle five.

The ridiculous uniforms.

Sometimes you feel like you’re being paid to look like an idiot.

There are days when this is applicable.

Those days usually involve irate, irrational customers and managers who take their side and not yours.

The customers who must be preparing for the end of days/couponing.

“I was just about to leave for my break, but I would be glad to stand here for another two hours and scan your s*** while you watch the register like a hawk!”

The customers who decide to try something on in the middle of the store.

Would you like a changing room? We have plenty of them.

The customer is always right.

But the customer is also an A-hole.

Those buttons you have to wear that prompt the customers to ask you about a promo…

And what you really wish it would say…

Ironically, customers are the worst part of the job.

You love early morning shifts when there is no one there and all you have to do is make everything look nice and neat and organized.

You just have those days when nothing works.

You’re really good at handling stress and containing your anger while on the job, but you can only deal with so much B.S. before you lose it (which rarely happens).

You’re a master of calling the customer on their failed attempts of deception.

Did it really just “stop working” or did it fall from a really high place onto a really hard surface?

These customers:

You may think I’m on the phone with another store, but there’s no one on the other end. When I say we don’t have it, WE DON’T HAVE IT. Have a nice day! 🙂

You are strong-willed.

The fact that you can actually make yourself go to work everyday without hurting someone or even yourself is a feat in and of itself.

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