He Took Wooly’s Name Quite Seriously
“When I worked at Wooly’s (Woolworths/Australian grocery store) before applying for my dream job, I was an early bloomer (I’m a guy) and at 17, I could already grow beards, problem was, whenever it first started it’s growth, at that age it looked like a pedo-stache. Now my boss hated this (and so did I) so he went out and got the rule-book and found out unclean facial hair like that was against the rules. I accepted it and shaved all the time, but I had testosterone going through my veins like a f—ing tank and I would shave it in the morning and by the end of the day I would have my pedo stache back. He would rage and yell all the time.
Eventually, I just said f— it, grabbed the rule book and looked up beards. As it turns out, my was classified as unclean but I found out, a proper clean and kempt beard was perfectly fine. So I took two weeks off and came back looking like HAGRID from Harry Potter. Now I can only say that the rage that had ensued here was the most pleasant thing I had ever experienced. After this, he tried to report me but no one would listen. It was fantastic!”
The Genius Pizza Scammer At School
“When I was in grade 4, pizza was sold at lunch for $1.50 a slice
I saw a business opportunity and went to the Little Caesars, which was literally a hop and skip away from the school. So I decided to buy 10 Hot’N’Ready 5$ pizzas and sold the slices for $1.00 (1.25 on Friday).
When the school told me I couldn’t sell pizza on school property, I moved my office to my Aunt’s house which was next door. Every day at lunch the kids would walk to the neighbors’ front yard, buy pizza and come back to school.
I was making a tidy sum every day!”
A Navy Man’s Convalescent Victory
“While I was in the Navy it was recommended that I get an extensive surgery on my ankle. My command felt that I ‘didn’t deserve a bunch of time off for a surgery’ so they said they would approve it but none of the convalescent leave. They refused to sign ANY paperwork.
The first thing I did was hit them with the regulation stating that they were required to respond to all requests within a certain amount of time (3 days I think). They responded with a ‘no.’ So then I had Navy legal draw up paperwork (with accordance to regulations) that my command would be responsible for 100% of my medical care if they did not abide by doctors orders. I then let them know that would mean that ALL of my medical care would then be handled by civilians and the command would be responsible for paying the bill out of their budget.
They approved my surgery, convalescent leave, and convalescent leave extension.”
Sunglasses Were Attributes To His Character
“My brother in law worked for UPS for 17 years. He was a bit of a joker and was constantly getting in trouble for coming to work with crazy hair colors, or cornrows (he was a big Italian guy and was told it wasn’t appropriate). It was always something. But they couldn’t say anything about him wearing sunglasses. So his little rebellion was he would wear the most outrageous sunglasses he could think of. Ones shaped like giant red lips, guitars with the stems sticking up, purple ones with rhinestone hearts on them. Anything for a laugh. After a while, people knew him by his glasses. If someone said they lived in a certain area I would say, ‘Oh my brother in law is your UPS man, the guy with the crazy glasses.’ People’s reply would almost always be something like, ‘Oooooh John. Yeah, I love that guy, he’s hilarious.’
He passed away 4 years ago, he was hit by a drunk driver while he was out walking one night. When we attended his funeral all of the guys from work came dress in their browns with crazy sunglasses on. His best friend gave his eulogy wearing a pair of neon green glasses three times the size of his face and the pastor even borrowed John’s guitar glasses when he went up to speak. After his funeral we counted, he had over 200 different pairs. What started as him being a pain in the a– to his boss ended as a tribute to his character in the life of always wanting to make someone else smile.”
Facebook Comment Revenge
“Used to work at a TV station. Absolutely awful management and horrible bosses. Complained about it to friends all the time. Some would even ask me on facebook about my job and I would reply- but I knew I could get fired for speaking ill of the company. So I read the HR Handbook and found out as long as I don’t specifically name the company, I can’t be fired for it. So, about a month later, I realize I can’t take this s— anymore and post on facebook how terrible my job is, never mentioning the company by name. They fire me a day later, I gladly walk out of that building and into a lawyer’s office- got $17,800- my yearly salary (seriously). Feels good man.”
Transaction Scamming And Hidden Photos
“I did a lot of things at my last job just to piss off management.
One thing that they really hated was this:
At our store they wanted a minimum of 70% of our transactions to be a membership transaction. So either someone with a membership, or we sign someone up for a membership. I would for a few days in a row get 100% (by only ringing one person through on my whole shift and making them use or sign up for a membership) and then randomly I’d ring someone through and make sure I don’t use their membership card, so that day I would be at 0%. When they’d come to me and b—- that my percentage was 0 I’d tell them that I’ve been 100% all week and that it was only one transaction that I did that day and the person didn’t want to sign up.
They couldn’t get mad at me for 0% on 1 person (you can’t win em all) and they couldn’t get mad at me for only ringing in 1 person every other day because my numbers were 100%. It annoyed the hell out of them, but on paper, it looked great.
The best part of working there was on my last day. When I quit, I hid 105 pictures of myself all over the store. They still haven’t found them all.” (Photo mentioned is actual photo above).
Disney Employee Sock Saga
“I used to work at the Jaws ride at Universal Studios Florida. Our uniform consisted of a blue t-shirt, jeans or jean shorts, white socks, and white shoes. The ‘unofficial’ dress code had all of us girls wearing jean shorts and white knee socks.
One summer, I ended up working the Jaws ride and The Jungle Cruise at Walt Disney World simultaneously. I love Disney and had always wanted to work there, but I ended up finding it stifling, with all sorts of silly and over the top rules.
At the Jungle Cruise, you wear a khaki shirt, khaki shorts or pants, white socks, and brown shoes. One day, I didn’t have any normal sized socks to wear to the Jungle Cruise, so I ended up wearing my white knee-highs, which looked RIDICULOUS with the Jungle costume. When I got to work, one of my managers flipped his s—, told me my socks weren’t in compliance with ‘The Disney Look’ (the official policies on how to dress at Disney) and made me roll my socks down. It looked like I was wearing little white life preservers around my ankles, and looked more out of place than they looked originally.
I was annoyed, so when I went home, I scoured my Disney Look booklet for the policies pertaining to socks. All I could find was that socks had to be long enough to cover the ankle bone. There was no maximum height. Hell, I could have worn white tights under my khaki shorts if I really wanted to.
The next day, I wore my knee-highs again, as a small act of rebellion. The same manager was there, and he flipped out. He actually pulled me into the office to write me up, but before he could get me to sign the paperwork, I pulled out my copy of The Disney Look and showed him that, while incredibly silly looking, my socks were perfectly acceptable, and that I would continue wearing them like that.
And so I did. I looked stupid, but I didn’t care. Working for Disney wasn’t a pleasant experience in my opinion, and it was very liberating to know that I could at least wear my socks however the hell I wanted to.”
Waterpark Lifeguard That Didn’t Give A Crap
“I worked at a waterpark and my co-worker proved that karma is a real b—-. The supervisor was a b—- who wouldn’t let the lead guards at the top of the tallest slide in the park go to the bathroom. Guard at the top is radioing that he needs to take a s—, but she won’t let him. Mind you, the lead guards are allowed to ride down every once in a while to make sure no tubes are stuck. Lead guard is about to s— his pants in front of a ton of guests, so he goes into the utility closet and he s— in a bucket of cat litter we kept to clean up vomit. He then proceeds to ride the slide down to clean himself off and left the supervisor to clean up his bucket of s—.”
Banana Phone Sing-Along
“Worked in one corporate kitchen where our General Manager didn’t like our music so he would put on children’s music, so we all started singing along at the top of our lungs…We won that war of attrition.
Years later in another kitchen, we had surround sound in a closed kitchen where the uppity General Manager did not like our music and started passing draconian censorship rules about the music…so we switched it to children’s music for a week.
The moral of the story never underestimate the power of a kitchen crew of misfits singing ‘Banana Phone’ at the top of their lungs to fight fascism, motherf—er! Viva La Raffi! Viva La Raffi!”
Dog Leash Belts Are On Trend At Petsmart
“I worked at a Petsmart 5 or so years ago, in the ‘Pet Hotel’ where animals were boarded while their ‘Pet Parents’ (owners) went on vacation. Everything I did was in the back. No customers ever saw me… Just the dogs and kitties…
But my b—- boss would always get onto me for forgetting my belt. So one day she was particularly mad at me about not having a belt despite the fact that I was picking that shift up last minute for someone who was sick. I pick up a dog leash, put it through my belt loops, and say ‘Well, it appears I now have a belt.'”
People Defended The Front Desk Issue
“Worked at the front desk of a gym. Scanning key cards you know, being a watchdog as my boss liked to say. The only problem is when a dog gets hungry he doesn’t feel like doing much. Didn’t matter if it was a 12-hour shift or an 8-hour shift, no lunch break for the front desk, and of course no eating at the front.
Well, I just so happen to love sandwiches. So I would tell all the people who asked me how I was doing that I was great, minus the fact that I haven’t eaten in 8 hours. I would proceed to tell them about the policy and encourage them to tell my boss to let me eat.
Well after I had told enough people, I began eating my sandwiches at the front. The first time boss caught me mid-bite and asked me what I was doing, I said eating my sandwich. As luck would have it a daily member walks up and says you know boss you should let him eat up here, it’s not hurting anyone. Victory!”
How To Get Your IT Boss Demoted
“I used to work in IT at a major educational publishing company based in NYC. We supported upwards of 650 employees spread over three floors of a building. One of the functions we performed was to set up and break down laptops and projectors for meetings; this regularly encompassed eleven different conference rooms over those three floors.
The standing rule for getting a laptop and projector was to include the IT department in your Outlook meeting request so that we would be made aware of any changes of venue. We would set up the equipment 15 minutes prior to the meeting (assuming the room was available), and at the conclusion, the person in charge of the meeting was to call us so we could break down the equipment. This last instruction required personal attention to the job so, needless to say, very few of the employees actually did it. This resulted in multiple laptops and projectors being abandoned in conference rooms for hours, sometimes days at a time.
My manager called me into her office one day to tell me that the “abandoned equipment” was a problem and that I needed to recover the equipment ‘within 10 minutes’ of the end of the meeting. I patiently explained to her that I didn’t always know when the meeting had ended because the employees weren’t calling in to tell us. She dismissed that as being irrelevant; since I had the Outlook meeting request, I should know when the meeting would end. I tried to explain that meetings often ran long so the end time in the meeting request couldn’t always be trusted. She completely ignored this and told me that she wanted the equipment recovered within 10 minutes of the end of the meeting, and didn’t want to hear another word about it.
So over the next week or two, I would regularly walk into a meeting room 5-7 minutes after the scheduled end of the meeting and proceed to break down the equipment. About 2-3 times a day this meant that I would shut down the system while they were still giving their presentations. I got yelled at a few times. I told them that I was under orders from my manager and if there’s a problem they should contact her.
Eventually, my manager called me in again to relate all the dissatisfaction she was getting. I was told that I had to wait until the meeting was over, but I had to recover the equipment within 10 minutes of the meeting being over. I again pointed out that I didn’t know when the meetings were over unless the meeting leader called in; she didn’t care. She just wanted it done. Fine.
So for the next week or two, I sat in on every meeting. I would set up the equipment, retreat to a corner, pull out my iPod and listen to music for the next 60-90 minutes. A few people asked me why I was there and I told them I needed to be sure the equipment was recovered on time.
Again, my manager called me in. We had a somewhat heated argument, culminating with me explaining it thusly: “You know the employees won’t reliably tell us when their meetings are over. You won’t let me recover the equipment 10 minutes after the scheduled meeting end. You don’t want me to sit in on the meeting to ensure that I’m able to recover the equipment 10 minutes after the meeting ends. And if I had to visit every conference room to make sure all of the equipment was recovered on time I’d never get ANY of my other work done. So, as an employee to his manager, I am seeking your advice. I am incapable of working out how to resolve this problem and I need you, my manager, to tell me how.”
Her response: ‘You need to figure it out.’
So I did. I went to Human Resources, explained the whole thing, and a few days later an email reminder was sent to all employees telling them that they MUST contact IT after their meetings end or the meeting leaders will be responsible for any lost or damaged equipment.
My manager, though reasonably competent at managing production, was absolutely horrible with personal relationships. After I left the company (downsized, not related to this event) I found out she was demoted one and a half grades and reported to one of the biggest prima donna b—-es in the company.”
Movie Theater Discrimination Drama
“I work at a movie theater and because I’m a girl I have to always work concession, one of our managers calls us the ‘candy girls’, ridiculous. Anyways…we all have to wear these stupid a– visors. They. Do. Nothing.
So I always tried to get away with not wearing one and the oldest manager working there got so pissed he threatened to write me up, and I noticed that when the boys come help with concession they do not have to wear the visors because they ‘don’t have as much as hair as us girls do.’ So, I get a pixie style haircut and laugh my a– off every time old fart manager tries to say something.”
The Company That Doesn’t Condone Education
Pavel_Bogdanov/Shutterstock
“While I was working as a receptionist, I had requested time off on the day of my final exam months in advance. All was approved in advance. The day before my final, I sent an email to my office mates so that they would not be surprised when I did not show up the next day. I wrote something like, ‘Wish me luck on my test!’ I get a call back from this supervisor stating that she was ‘unaware that my time off was for education’. She added: ‘This company does not condone leaving work for educational obligations. If you don’t show up for work tomorrow, I am writing you up as a no show and your office will not receive any coverage for you. This is clearly defined in the handbook and I will not hear anything against it.’
I guess she thought that I could not read. I printed out the handbook, brought it to HR and was given a written and verbal apology from the supervisor within an hour. The HR rep was pretty outspoken about how ridiculous this was, especially considering that they pay my tuition!
Anyhow, for the rest of the time, she was my supervisor, I sent out elaborate emails anytime I took time off for school. My coworkers would always say they were going to class on anytime they requested off from her. She was fired 6 months later as a result of enforcing another made up rule.”
Pay Me More To Ruin My Feet
“I used to work at a lingerie store as an assistant manager so I had to dress nice and look professional. All the other girls wore huge heels and always ended up complaining about how sore their feet were at the end of their shift and I always wore flats to avoid having sore feet. They were still nice, stylish shoes, but they didn’t have towering heels on them.
My manager always used to get mad at me for not wearing heels and tried to claim it was part of the dress code. I looked it up and showed her that it didn’t say anywhere that I had to wear heels, just that I had to wear acceptable work attire or something like that. Then she tried to tell me it was an out of date dress code or something, so I would tell her that she should get an updated one then. Eventually, she brought the head of office into the argument, and the provincial manager was trying to tell me to wear heels to work. I told them they would have to pay me more than minimum wage to ruin my feet. I did not get a raise and no one ever told me to wear heels to work again.”
Never Take Away Shift Meals
Ollyy/Shutterstock
“Many years ago I worked at a dine in/carryout/delivery type place and they had changed the policy that employees couldn’t have the standard ‘shift meal’ that usually goes along with restaurant work anymore, and the employee discount was 15 or 25% off. But any pizzas or other food that were made in error or were bogus deliveries were fair game for eating.
As a bunch of disgruntled employees would have it, mistakes started happening with great regularity. Customers in the dining room would get pizzas that were made wrong or dinners that were not right at a high rate by hungry, broke a– employees. So the main accomplishment of the owner’s too smart daughter was having a bunch of unhappy customers. After a few weeks, the posting by the time clock disappeared, the other signs she put up a few days later. I think she caught on to what was happening, but couldn’t pin it on any one employee. She never formally said that the policy was rescinded, but never busted anyone out for eating.”
Hair As Bright As The Sun
“When I was in my last few weeks in the Army, I was so sick of the BS. I just wanted to relax and be left alone. It wasn’t like there was anything important to do, as I’d just come back from a deployment.
My squad leader wasn’t a bad guy, but he and our command decided to start busting balls for stupid shit. A lot of busy work, making people stay until 5 pm, demanding they request passes to just leave the base for the weekend, etc. So I started reading the regulations on uniform and appearance and found a little gem.
Hair color: The hair can be dyed, so long as it is a natural color. Blonde is a natural color. I normally have extremely dark hair. I busted out the peroxide and bleached that shit so blonde, it hurt your eyes to look at it in the sun. I mean, you could see me from a mile away.
I was expecting a reaction, but oh boy did people freak out. I think my hair brought the entire brigade to a standstill- the freaking colonel in charge of the brigade got involved. It divided the brigade into two camps- the pro-hair rebels and the anti-hair conservatives. I would walk into the chow hall and basically be spat upon by crusty old sergeants who thought my hair was ‘pissing on the uniform’.
I kept the hair for about 2 weeks until the hubbub ‘died down’. Tee hee. When I finally cut it all off, people left me the f— alone.”
How A Bottle Helped Put Out A Potentially Big Fire
Asier Romero/Shutterstock
“I work at a movie theater in NYC as a ticket taker. One day I had brought my water bottle with me to my desk at the ticket taking point, and my d—– manager tells me that I’m not allowed to carry a drink with me outside of the employee room with a uniform on. I told him that since I’m not allowed to leave the point without someone covering to take tickets, I should at least have a bottle of water so I won’t be dehydrated after 5 hours without a break. He said that he would ask the general manager and left.
Later on, a European customer had come up the escalator smoking a cigarette indoors. I told him to put it out because it’s illegal in NYC to smoke indoors. He carelessly tossed it in the trash and it eventually started smoking up. I walked over there with my bottled water and poured it over the minor fire that had started, and later on explained to my general manager what happened. We’re allowed to carry bottled water now!”
Cut-Off Shirts Show Too Much Skin
“I work a s—-y janitor job during the summers and so I have a supervisor and a head boss, whom I never see pretty much. Anyway, we don’t have air conditioning so I started to wear cut-off lifting shirts to work because they’re open and significantly cooler than regular tees. Well, my supervisor is super religious and sheltered and thought they were ‘inappropriate’ because they showed too much skin so she tried to ban them at my work (mind you there are only about 6 people at the school I clean during the summers). My head boss told her that he didn’t care if I wore them. So I obviously had to get back at her.
Every summer she has some bible camp thing in the gym, and she makes all the maintenance staff wear her camp’s shirts the whole week. I decided to turn it into a cut-off. She stared me down every day that week, but never mentioned anything about it.”
He Was Allegedly Trying To Spite Her
file404/Shutterstock
“I worked in a grocery store and one of the managers hated me. No matter what I did she found something to belittle me about. Finally, it got down to my shoes. They had to be all black, which they were but she said they had to be shiny looking. Well, I had spent $80 for the shoes I had, so I went to the store director and asked him if the shoes I was wearing were okay. He said they were perfect! The next time that manager harassed me about my shoes I told her the store director said they were fine. SHE FLIPPED OUT! Said I purposefully went to him just to spite her. No b—-, I saved myself money.”