Next time you fly, you may want to take these tips and tricks to heart. They'll not only ease your fear of flying, but they'll save you some much needed headache.
A Day In The Life
“Passengers have no idea how complicated a flight is from a pilots perspective. Let me walk you through it.
We show up around an hour before the flight and get the paperwork. Is the weather ok? Is the forecast for the destination going to be above our minimums? Is it above minimums, but requires an alternate airport to be listed in case the weather doesn’t go quite as planned? What equipment is broken at the airport that might affect these minimums? How about the departure airport? Do we need to plan for an airport to go to if we take off and have a problem, but can’t get back into our departure airport due to weather, slippery runways, etc.?
How about the airplane? Is everything working? Certain systems are allowed to be broken. Are there any of those on this flight? How will it affect us? Will it change the weather minimums we checked out earlier?
Where is my first officer? And the flight attendants? I guess they must be at the airplane. I’ll go there.
Nope, they’re not at the airplane. It’s getting close to boarding, I’d better find them. Called scheduling, they said that they are on an inbound flight that just arrived, but on the opposite side of the airport. It’ll be 10 minutes for them to swim their way through the terminal.
I’ll do the walk around while I wait. What’s that on the belly? Must be hydraulic fluid, that’s about all that is around there. Better call maintenance.
First officer and flight attendants are here now, that’s good. But we’re 10 minutes past boarding now.
Maintenance shows up and checks out the mystery fluid. It’s hydraulic fluid they say, but it’s old. They wipe it off. If you see any more when you get to your destination, let us know. Probably just spillage from when they serviced the hydraulics last.
Tell the gate agent we’re ready to board. It’s 10 minutes to departure time now.
5 minutes pass. No passengers get on.
A passenger is being wheeled down the jetway in an aisle chair (a narrow wheelchair designed to fit in the aisle of the airplane.) Takes 5 minutes or so to get him situated. The rest of the passengers file on.
Meanwhile, the first officer is getting our clearance. Bad news, there is a ground stop at our destination. We can’t leave, and we don’t expect any more information for 30 minutes. Not that we can leave in 30 minutes, just that we will get an update in 30 minutes.
The passengers have all filed on at this point. I make an announcement apologizing for the slight delay in boarding, we needed to have maintenance come out to check something, but we’re all good in that regard. Unfortunately, ATC is telling us that we can’t depart yet due to weather and traffic, and we will know more in 30 minutes.
You can hear the grumbles from the cockpit.
30 minutes pass, during which the first officer and I get the checklists done as far as we can, and get to know each other a bit. After all, I’ve never seen this guy before in my life. There are thousands of pilots at this airline, we don’t all know each other.
The first officer calls to find out about the update. Good news, you can leave, but you have to be airborne in 5 minutes. Shit. We’re still at the gate with no engines running. Can we get them both started, run the checklists, and taxi to the runway in 5 minutes? Better have a go at it, otherwise we might miss our slot.
We scramble and get it done. We take off 40 minutes late. Not too bad considering the situation.
Halfway through the flight, we see a group of thunderstorms on the radar right along our route, blocking it and any options to the left of it. We as ATC for a deviation to the right to get around that line.
“Unable due to traffic” is the reply.
Great. Now what?
“Center, we can take higher or lower if needed, but we need a deviation to the right.”
“Spudmunkey 17, uh, descend and maintain 14,000, passing 16,000, deviations to the right up to 20 degrees approved. Advise when direct to wherever.”
S—, we’re still 2 hours from our destination. If we descend to 14,000 feet, are we going to have enough fuel?
A quick punch in the flight management system, and we do, but barely. If anything else happens, we’re going to have to go to plan B.
Luckily, nothing else goes wrong, and we land, although the extra weather deviations and lower altitude result in another 10 minutes added to the flight. We land 50 minutes late.
We park at the gate and open the cockpit door. Various comments come in from the passengers ranging from the most common: an apathetic “thanks,” to the occasional “this is why I don’t fly your airline” or any other variation of it.
The plane is empty, and we have to start the process all over again for the next flight.
The problem now is that we didn’t start it all 1 hour before departure. It’s departure time now, and the gate agent is asking if you are ready to board. You haven’t even looked at the paperwork yet.
So, you want to be a pilot” Source
Safety Check
“My dad works for a large airline, he told me a few little things
2 Pilots are served different meals and cannot share, this is done in case of food poisoning.
Stealing food, even if they are going to throw it out can get you fired instantly. You can ask your supervisor, but you cannot take food. They don’t want people messing with it.
Most large commercial planes can fly with 1 engine if needed”Source
A Subtle Overlook
“Some airlines don’t pay pilots or flight attendants for flights that cancel. Which doesn’t sound so bad until you start thinking about the safety implications of it.
A little short on the rent this month? Then I don’t see that hydraulic leak, I can’t afford to have the flight cancel.
Child needs to see the doctor? Maybe I don’t report the torn up carpet that you might trip on in an evacuation, because carpet takes too long to replace–so the flight would cancel.
…not saying this happens all the time, because most crews are true professionals and can put their job ahead of their paycheck, but it happens enough to give you the goosebumps. Throw in some seriously low pay (sub $20K a year for many first year pilots) and you’ve got a subtle incentive to overlook safety issues” Source
Peek-A-Boo
“You are able to unlock airplane lavatories from the outside. There is usually a lock mechanism concealed behind the no smoking badge on the door. Just lift the flap up and slide the bolt to unlock” Source
Bribery At Its Finest
“Bring an unopened bag of or box of chocolates for the flight crew, especially long flights…they’ll treat you like a king for the whole flight” Source
Lies, All Lies
“My sister is a flight attendant, she says after she tells everyone to turn off all electronics, she goes to the back and pulls our her phone and starts texting” Source
Don’t Worry About It
“Aerospace fastener production here. Nobody ever asks what is actually holding the plane together. Don’t worry about it” Source
Human Remains
“I was a ramp agent for Delta. A lot of freight gets shipped on commercial flights.
One of these items were always called HR on the radios. HR was an abbreviation for ‘Human Remains’. Some people die far away from where they want to get buried. They’re packed in wood-framed boxes, so you would never know what was inside except by the strange shape of them.
They were a b—- to handle. People weight a bit. Add a casket and shipping container and you’re looking at anywhere from 250-400 pounds. Also, the bin doors tend to be pretty narrow. Wrestling these things out of the plane was always a giant pain in the a–. HR in the middle bin of a mad-dog (MD-90)… f— that” Source
Adjusting To Landing
“When a plane is landing at night, they dim the interior lights incase you need to evacuate upon landing… your eyes are already adjusted to the darkness so you’ll be able to see better once outside the plane” Source
Struck Down
“My dad’s been an airline pilot for almost 20 years, and apparently planes get struck by lightning all the time. Also if a passenger is causing a scene in the jetway he can refuse to let them on and take off without them” Source
Coutning Down
“That if the oxygen masks drop down, you only have about 15 minutes of oxygen from the point of pulling them down. However, that is more than enough time for the pilot to take us to a lower altitude where you can breathe normally” Source
Awkward…
“Women: if you pack a toy in your bag, take the batteries out. Because if I’m loading your bag, and I hear it vibrating I have to tell my lead. Then my lead has to come pull you off the aircraft and you have to open your bag and turn off your toy in front of a bunch of giggling grown a– men” Source
Now That’s A Loss
“Airlines barely make any money. On 40 billion of revenue less than 1 billion in profit. You may complain about ticket prices but not a lot of profit is being made” Source
A Few Pointers
“When you experience a hard landing in bad weather it wasn’t because of a lack of pilot skills but it is in fact intentional. If the runway is covered in water the airplane has to touch down hard in order to puncture the water layer and prevent aqua planing.
Mobile electronic devices won’t really bring an airplane down but they can be really annoying to pilots. Just imagine sitting in the flightdeck descending to your destination and hearing the interference of a 100+ cellphones picking up a signal. I have missed a clearance or 2 that way.
The air you breathe on an airplane is actually compressed air taken from the engines. A large portion (25% to 50%) is blown in the flightdeck, the rest is for the passengers. The air leaves the airplane via a small hole in the back of the fuselage.
The captain has almost limitless authority when the doors are closed. He is allowed to arrest people, write fines and even take the will of a dying passenger
At most airlines the only difference between the captain and the co-pilot is their rank. They divide the workload fairly and switch the roles of pilot flying and pilot non-flying each flight” Source
Knowledge Worth Knowing
“Not so much a secret, but something worth knowing about.
TSA Pre-Check: you get to bypass pretty much everyone, leave your shoes on, your laptop in your bag, and don’t have to take out your small liquid containers.
To get TSA Pre-Check you need to be recommend to the TSA by an airline (meaning you need to be a very frequent flyer)
OR you can apply for GlobalEntry, which makes getting through customs a breeze. It cost $100 to apply and you have to fill out paperwork and go through an interview process. Some credit cards will pay the fee (like American Express Platinum).
Addition: Okay if you are a frequent flyer you might as well get a American Express Platinum card. It’s $450 a year, which sounds expensive but…
The previously mentioned $100 Global Entry fee is waived
You get $200 in airline fee credit. Baggage fees, upgrade points, or a number of any other random fee is automatically deducted
You get into US Airways Clubs, Admiral’s Lounges, Delta Lounges (your immediate family or two guests can come too)
You get a free Priority Pass, which lets you into tons of lounges around the world
You can get a free companion ticket if you buy an international first/business cl
And those are just some of the travel perks… This might not appeal to everyone, but I’m sure there are some other frequent flyers out there who wouldn’t mind paying $450 for Global Entry, $200 in airline charges, lounge access and companion tickets.
Another addition: Apparently the American Express lounges are now free to platinum and black card members. These lounges have free spas and food. I hear the drinks are free too but I don’t know for sure. There is one in terminal D of DFW that just opened and one in the Las Vegas airport. If you have a platinum or black card you should check them out instead of going to the regular airline lounges” Source
Easing The Fear
“Took my son on a flight recently, if your travelling with a child ask the crew if they can meet the pilot. Made his flight, and also eased his fear of flying. “Don’t worry dad captain millers got us.” Pilot hat hasn’t left his side since” Source
Don’t Do It
“Don’t drink the water or water-based products (coffee, tea): the water tanks on an airplane accumulate grime and fungus and are notoriously hard to properly clean. look for bottled water.
Some airlines require you to open the window shades when landing and taking off due to “safety” regulations. it’s actually to allow passengers to enjoy the view” Source
For Your Safety
“It’s illegal for the same person to repair all the engines on a plane. If he screws one up, you got one or more still working” Source
Sacrificing One For Another
“I used to be an Operations Control Center manager for a regional airline. (about 900 flights a day) Ultimately, I was the guy that decided if your flight was going to cancel. Most people don’t know I exist. When passengers hear “cancelled due to ATC or WX or MX”, its really just a small team of people deciding if your flight is going to make it and often its not even your plane or flight that has the problem.
In the case of ATC and weather, we will be allowed X number of arrivals and hour. We decide which ones are going and which ones will stay or re-position to another city. Passengers are usually one of the last items of consideration. Safety is always first, we won’t send it if there is reason to believe it is unsafe and if we can blame it on weather we will. It’s much cheaper for the airline if it is blamed on WX since they don’t have as many benefits for the customer, (food vouchers, hotels etc.) Next most important is which crews will time out, and how critical it is that they get to their next stop. The way crews are routed we often have to cancel something today to save 3 flights that would need to cancel tomorrow if the AC and crew don’t get to the right place by the right time.
Next is where the AC is routed since they are often carrying mx items that expire at a certain date and can only be fixed in specific bases.
After that is cargo and bags. Bags cost a LOT more to get re-routed than passengers. (the reason for this is that passengers can go on the next plane, but if their bags dont make it we deliver them to you. Not the airport that you were going to. Couriers can get expensive quick so its better business to have your bags waiting for you rather than the other way around, even if that means kicking you off the plane and taking your bags.)
Last is passengers, sometimes based on a “priority list” of VIPs and sometimes based on doing the most good for the largest number of people.
Ultimately, regional airlines only have one customer. The major airline they serve. They are paid based on a number of metrics to summarize their performance and there are tiers for “penalty” and “bonus”. The airline knows EXACTLY (to the minute) where they are in relation to these goals, and we will often sacrifice one for the other. Example: if we are near penalty for on-time departures within 0 min of scheduled departure time but have a good cushion on completion factor, we will cancel a flight just to make one go on time” Source
The One Thing You Need To Know
“The biggest thing is if you need to go on a flight, make a connection. The price difference can be hundreds if not thousands. Don’t believe me? Try going Cleveland (CLE) to NY LaGuardia (LGA). It is usually $500 for the round. Now do the flight out of Pittsburgh (PIT), only an hour and a half drive away, $150 round for the same exact flight +1 leg. The reason is the hub and spoke system. By taking the direct flight only you are taking up a seat that a connecting passenger could have, plus convenience. So if you have a small airport not too far away go through there. Its one of the biggest dirty little secrets of the airline industry.
Source – I’m a pilot, aviation enthusiast, and I have a friend that takes that route once a month and refuses to go directly out of Cleveland and will drive to PIT to save the money” Source
A Few Tips
“10 year airline customer service professional checking in…here are a few tips:
The “FAA regulation” on carry-on bags is actually an airline specific choice. They set their own requirements and commit it to policy, and they are then held accountable through audits (FAA, TSA, internal) for compliance.
Customer service agents will bend over backwards to help you when you take the time to be respectful and courteous. I cannot tell you how many times I have broken a rule or made an exception for someone just because they were nice about it.
If you want to bring booze onboard, just ask the flight attendant to pour for you. This is so they have control of your consumption, and can cut you off if you start to get lispy. The altitude affects your blood oxygen levels and you will get drunker faster thank you are used to at sea level…the rule is “one on the ground equals two in the air”.
We are required by law to offer up to $1300.00 in a check if we involuntarily deny you boarding due to an overbooked flight. The offer for volunteers will always continue to go up. It is based on the fare you paid, and the amount of time it takes us to get you to your destination as opposed to when you would have arrived had you been able to take the flight you had purchased” Source