Whether you had the typical class clown sitting in the back row or your teacher was the ultimate jokester, class wasn't always boring.
A Hit To The Face
“I had a chemistry professor who would walk into the lecture hall every class and place a tennis ball on the podium. No one really thought about it that much and it was dismissed as a professorial quirk. One day a kid fell asleep in class. When the professor noticed it, he didn’t skip a beat in his lecture. Without pausing, he calmly walked to the podium, grabbed the tennis ball and hurled it at the kids head. It hit him almost square in the face. He was shocked, we laughed, fun times. The next class period the professor walked into the class like usual but this time he placed a baseball on the podium. Not one person fell asleep in that class for the rest of the semester.”
A Force Field
“When I was was in medic school for the army we would spend most of our day in this one class room. In the corner was a stack of balsa wood splints that were about 4 feet long and about a quarter of an inch thick. We all just assumed that they were part of the training materials, since splinting injuries was a pretty normal task. Our instructor was giving a lecture on a very boring topic and soldiers heads would start nodding. Suddenly one of the soldiers in the second row actually start snoring. He stops the lecture and then walks over to the corner of the room where those splints were sitting and grabs one. The class sees this and starts to giggle. He puts his finger to his mouth to shut us up, and then starts slowly walking towards this kids desk. Once he is standing in front of this poor bastard, he holds the splint with two hands, raises it above his head, then brings the splint crashing down on the desk. The splint explodes into a thousand pieces and makes a sound so loud that the kid literally back flips out of his chair and ends up on the floor wondering what just happened. During my time at medic school this kid fell asleep a few more times, and each time the instructor would go to that corner, but every time he was about to swing that splint down, the kid would wake up as if he had felt a disturbance in the force or something.”
Break A Wrist!
“This is my uncle’s story, not my own: He’s a doctor and teaches med-school. One day he was running late for a lecture in a big, ~250 person auditorium. He walks in the door and everyone is already sitting down waiting for him, so he starts trying to get down to the stage quickly, when he trips and falls all the way to the bottom of the stairs. There’s a collective gasp and kids are starting to get up to help him, but without losing a beat he gets up and starts walking up to the stage. As he’s walking up, he gives a double-take look at his audience, pretending to be surprised that they’re staring at him and says “What? That’s how I like taking the stairs!” The place erupted in laughter and applause, after which he gave his hour-and-a-half lecture.
Then he drove himself to the hospital, because he’d broken his wrist.”
Knot So Funny
“During psychology class a professor asked us why the suicide rate was higher in man than women. Without thinking I said to the entire class, “because men tie better knots” I got a slow clap by two people the rest were nods.of disapproval.”
Boys Will Be Boys
“I was teaching a class of 7-year-olds when one of them let out a fart. All the other students giggled. His friend one-upped him with a loud ripper. The class laughed openly. A third boy, determined to adminster the coup de grace, stood on his chair, hunched his back, screwed up his face…
…and shat himself.
The kids declared it their best lesson ever.”
An Unexpected Discovery
“High school years I had a calculus teacher who hated anyone with an mp3 player, whether or not it was in use. She was known to confiscate them even if earbuds were hanging out of a backpack. One day my friend comes into class sits down and puts on these huge obnoxious headphones. Teacher gets pissed, starts screaming at him, and asks him to open his bag so she could confiscate the contraband. Well, he unzips his bag to reveal that the headphones were plugged into a small pumpkin. She looks confused and walks back to her desk carrying the pumpkin with her.”
Off With A Warning
“Towards the end of my senior year of high school we were watching a movie in Forensics class so all the lights were off. My friend Joey and I were sitting in the back corner talking while he was bouncing this ping pong ball he had taken from the tables in the commons area. I said “You know, those are really flammable.” and he goes, “Really? Huh.” He then proceeds to casually reach into his pocket, pull out a lighter and light the ping pong ball while holding it. The ball bursts into bright orange flames lighting up the whole back of the classroom. He drops it, of course. Tries to step on it to put it out but his foot only hits the edge of it sending it towards me, I kick it back to him while we both scramble to put it out until he finally manages to stomp on it. The entire class has turned around to see this of course and the substitute teacher yells, “What the h— was that?!” and Joey, in full poker face, says “What fire?” while I’m laughing my balls off. I have no idea how we didn’t end up in any sort of trouble for that one.”
A Case Of Mistaken Identity
“In high school one of my friends, who was super preppy, always wore khakis. Let’s call him James.
One day in class another friend, Vince, saw James’ khaki-ed butt sticking out while he was bending over someone’s desk talking to them.
Vince does a huge wind up and spanks him so hard on the butt that he immediately jumps up. The problem is that the person was not James, but our teacher. Everyone is mortified, especially Vince, and the teacher’s face goes bright red. The teacher just says “Vince! Save that for AFTER class” with a big grin on his face.
Everyone just busts out laughing, except for Vince, of course.”
Luck Of The Irish
“Back in my high school years, one of my friends decided to celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day in school. He dressed up as a leprechaun (he was pretty short, less than 5′ tall) and hid in a cubby hole behind a sliding marker board in the classroom. When my teacher slid open the marker board to get an eraser, my friend leaped out and yelled “No one’s takin’ me Lucky Charms!” in an Irish accent while running around and out the classroom, holding a box of Lucky Charms in each hand. Twas a good day.”
It’s Physics
“Our physics teacher was standing on the desk pulling the blinds down because we were about to watch a video. He began to lose his balance and looked like he was going to fall backwards. Someone in the back of the class, in true Bender style, yelled “do a flip!”
So the teacher did a backflip off the desk and landed it perfectly. He wasn’t really the sporting type and must have been coming up on 45 at least…
It was the greatest moment of my school life…”
A Running Fued
“High school. My AP physics class had an ongoing feud with the AP bio class. We stole their mascot, they stole ours, that kind of thing.
One day, our teacher (Mr.E.) got wonderful idea. We had been discussing fresnel lenses and his eyes lit up. He grabbed it and said follow me, but be quiet.
We ninja’d our way downstairs and around behind the building, crawling past a few rooms so as not to be seen. A brave soul peeked up to be sure everyone was turned away — bio teacher was writing on the board, students scribbling furiously.
Mr E stood up with the lens, held it steady for couple minutes, and we all sprinted away giggling like fiends when the bio teacher turned to find a paper on her desk beginning to go up in flames.
By the time she made sure the building wasn’t about to burn down and got up to our class room, we were all pretending to take an exam.”
A Mysterious Work
“Our junior year high school religion teacher was a large, blubbery man who had no control over the classroom and no apparent peripheral vision. One day, a rather nimble student crawled across the floor in the back of the classroom, and while others distracted the teacher, climbed out of the back window.
This was on the second floor of the school, so he shimmied across the wall to the front of the classroom. There was a window right by the teacher’s desk, so he reached in and turned on his radio. Dumbfounded, the teacher turned it back off. This happened over and over for a few minutes, with everyone in the class able to see what was going on and trying to control their laughter.
Finally after getting bored of this, the student grabbed the teacher’s cane from next to the window and pulled it out of the window. Moments later, the student comes walking into the classroom with the cane. Needless to say, the teacher was absolutely awestruck and could not understand what had happened. We were all crying from laughter and none of us fessed up, attributing it to various sources, namely ‘god’ or other nonsense.”
Adios Class!
“I was in my 8:00am geology class the day after Al Gore won the Noble Peace Prize. My professor walks in and says, “Science no longer exists. You can all go home now.” We did…”
Mastering The Art
“I was in Art Appreciation with an attendance of about ~250 students my second semester of college. Halfway through one lecture a student stands up and interrupts the professor mid-sentence with, “Excuse me professor, but I have something important to say.” Fortunately the professor is cool and said, “Sure, do you disagree with something I’ve said?” To which this kid replies, “Absolutely not. I just wanted to say I have a massive erection.” He then sits down and acts like nothing happened. I have never heard people laugh so hard, and the people sitting adjacent to him had looks of terror. Easily the best lecture I’ve ever been to.”
An Awkward Discussion
“My high school Health class was taught by an awkward shell of a man, and he was shaken to the bone when the unit on sex came up. He was giving a PowerPoint, stuttering and fumbling over his words with each slide. Finally, the slide which he had been dreading came up. He took a deep breath, trying to muster the little bit of confidence he had, and bellowed out, ” AND NOW: THE PENIS!” The class broke out in laughter, and he couldn’t keep it together after that.”
Squeezing It In
“I was supervising a freshman study hall (high school) when one of the girls squeaks one out. It was otherwise silent in the room and the echo was pretty loud. I’m tasting blood at this point as I try to stifle a laugh but then the boy sitting next to her jumps up and in a eureka moment says, ” I DIDN’T KNOW GIRLS COULD DO THAT!”. Everyone is laughing at this point. I had to restore order but I thought I was going to break a rib trying not to laugh.”
Sleeping In
“I had a teacher that had a creative way of handling sleepers in class. If they were still asleep at the end of the period, he’d have us all leave the room as quietly as possible, and inform the next class coming in to be very quiet when they came in.
Eventually the sleeper would wake up, and act like nothing happened, usually withing a few minutes they would start glancing around the room, and not recognizing anyone in the class, look at the clock, jump up and run out of the room.”
High As A Kite
“First let me set up this story by saying that my senior year high school English class had a huge glass window that looked out on the hallway outside. It was usually distracting so the teacher would close the blinds but on this particular day she had forgotten.
Second semester senior year we had English class on Fridays at 10AM. The teacher was a real tighta– but usually pretty fair. On this Friday, about 4 weeks before graduation class had been going relatively normally until about 10:45. With 15 minutes left to go, my buddy shows up to class about as high as I’ve ever seen a person. His eyes were beet red and he was giddy and giggly. In his right arm he held a 2 liter bottle of orange crush and in his left arm he was cradling a gigantic bucket of KFC. He walks in and everyone pretty much gasps. He looks up and says, “Oh hey Mrs. Smith, sorry I’m late”. He sits down and starts to eat his chicken and crush his Crush. Mrs. Smith is obviously not too psyched about this and starts to yell, saying something along the lines of how little respect my buddy has for the class and her. The main point being that he can’t eat the chicken and drink his soda in class (nothing was said about him being stupidly high for some reason).
My buddy apologizes for bring the Crush and chicken into the class and gets up. At this point, everyone thinks he’s going to throw it out, but instead he walks out into the hallway, where everyone can see him because the teacher forgot to shut the blinds, and lackadasically eats his chicken and drinks his crush. No one can really keep a straight face at this point, and everyone just cracks up. The teacher dismisses everyone and calls my buddy into the classroom.
Afterward everyone went up to him thinking that he would get suspended or some s— like that, but he apparently handled the whole thing like a boss and didn’t get into any kind of trouble. To this day we still don’t know what he said to her.
They Just Keep Coming
“So I am sitting in history class and the stoner kid his name was Klaus something pulls out a guitar magazine and starts reading it while the teacher is giving a lecture. The prof walks over and takes the magazine away and throws it on his desk and continues.
Klaus waits about 30 seconds then pulls another magazine out of his backpack and begins reading it. Once again the prof takes away the magazine,50 seconds pass and Klaus pulls another magazine out of his bag and begins reading the prof takes it away and throws it in the garbage this time …Klaus pulls another magazine out of his bag finally the prof walks over and picks up the backpack and throws it on his desk ,he must have had about 20 magazines in there.
Was funny how non-chalantely he was pulling magazine after magazine out of his bag.”
A Passing Grade
“At my University we write most of our exams in one of the gyms about 400-500 kids at a time. When exams are being written it’s DEAD quiet like you can hear a pen drop all the way across the gym. About an hour in, everyone dialed in and you couldn’t hear a noise at all. All of a sudden some guy slams open the door runs in, painted purple and completely naked other than a borat suit and ski mask. He proceeded to run around the gym between all the rows for about 3-4 minutes dodging the TA’s and teachers and screaming at the top of his lungs. He eventually ran out the back door with EVERYONE laughing hysterically for about 5 minutes after he left with the supervisors desperately trying to calm everybody down. Best exam ever.”
Go NAO
“Freshman year in high school, I was friends with this skater kid, James. Pretty small guy, like…5’1, 5’2 at most. Our algebra teacher is this vietnamese lady, Mrs. Tran, and of course, english is not her first language. Anyways, James tells me he’s gonna scare her by jumping out of one of the cabinets, and for me to signal him by tapping my pencil on the table or something a couple of times really fast.
So Mrs. Tran is making her way around the room taking roll, as she steps right in front of the cabinet, I start tapping my pencil. James just launches himself out of the cabinet and starts doing that “OOGA BOOGA” face with his arms just flailing and shouting all sorts of jibberish.
She screams hysterically, her clipboard with roll-sheet and lesson plans goes flying into the air, along with her glasses.
Then in her broken english, she yells at him, “YOU GO! GO NAO!!”, “YOU GO PRINCIPAL OFFICE!”, “GO NAO!!!”