The sandwich selection at Subway is full of varying options for any customer to ponder over. However, sometimes customer's have "special" requests that make you wonder how and why they would ever eat that in the first place. For the unfortunate Subway sandwich artists who make these concoctions, though, they're enough to make one gag.
The Soup-Wich Combo
“I have a friend who gets what he calls a ‘soup-wich.’
Footling honey wheat, turkey, chicken, American cheese, lettuce, banana peppers, black olives, red onion, a few jalapeños, and EVERY SINGLE SAUCE.
He doesn’t just tell the person making the sandwich he wants every sauce though. He pauses after every sauce, contemplates, and then says the next one. He even does both versions of a sauce if it has a lite version.
By the time the sandwich is done it is just leaking fluid. They usually try and put it in one of the salad containers for him otherwise it would just be a huge mess.”
A Sandwich Only Someone High Can Enjoy
“Worked at Subway in Australia for a year and a half.
Worst by far was when a stoner wanted a footlong sub full of pickles and soaked in hot chili sauce.
The guy was in heaven eating it though so there’s that!”
Extra Extra Extra Extra Mayo
“I was at Subway with a good friend of mine and his dad. His dad gets to the sauce part and says, ‘Okay, I want a lot of mayo. Like, a lot.’ The chick goes to squirt some mayo on there and the cap pops off dumping what I would estimate to be about a cup and a half of mayo on this sandwich. She says sorry and turns around to get more bread and dispose of the sandwich and he somewhat frenetically stops her and says that he’ll take it as is, and that it is perfect.
I didn’t eat much of my sub after that.”
Stuck In A Pickle
“When I was about 8 years old, I ordered a sub and asked for pickles. So some 60-year-old man behind me said ‘you like pickles boy?’ So I didn’t really know what to respond with so I said ‘yeah’ and with no hesitation he said ‘Well, I’ll show you a pickle to remember. Give me pickles. More pickles. MORE.’ And the last one was basically shouted. The lady actually had to go to the back and put full pickles in the sub. Dude got like two inches of pickles in the end. After we sat down to eat, he went to the booth behind us and started eating, every bite sounded like someone was biting an apple. He ate the entire foot long, no drink, no chips.”
Old Lady Wants Everything But…
“A crazy old lady would come in to the Subway I worked at on occasion and just order a 6-inch sub on Monterey cheddar with half the container of cheddar cheese on there, no meat. Then she has me load it with oil, vinegar, ranch and mayo and stick it in the bag without wrapping it up.”
Shove Those Things Right In There
“I’ve worked at Subway for over two years.
An older couple walks in. The husband has health issue and the wife won’t let him get cookies. They fight about it the entire time they’re in line. The wife steps away to use the restroom. The husband leans in and frantically whispers “I want those mother f–king cookies, smash them in my sandwich before she comes back”.
So I did. I watched him eat the entire thing with the biggest smile on his face. It was awesome…and gross.”
The $86 Sub
“I worked at Subway 1994-96. A truck driver, probably 6 foot 6 inches, orders a $86 sub. How is that even possible?
He starts off, ‘Son are you ready to make the biggest baddest sub of your life?’ ‘I make big subs all the time.’ (Laughing deeply) ‘Oh boy you’ll never see this again.’ ‘Try me.’ ‘Give me a footlong B.M.T. (Bigger. Meatier. Tastier. If you ever wondered), I want eight double meats, eight double cheese, nine layers of bacon, more bread and every vegetable. Two forks.’ ‘So you want more bread added in-between levels of meat?’ ‘Yes. If it looks like it needs bread, add more.’
It took three papers to wrap that sub. It didn’t fit in the bag. It was glorious. I kept the receipt and glued it in my yearbook with other memories from that year.”
That’s The Only Thing He’ll Eat?
“Former Subway employee here. There was a mother who came in daily to get a 12-inch for her son. Tuna with feta cheese, toasted, and then LOADS of ketchup and sweet onion sauce on top. Revolting. She said it was one of the only things she could get her teen son to eat.”
Breakfast Flat Of Champions
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“A girl ordered a footlong flatbread with just olives and extra mayo. It was 10 in the morning.”
Salty Order
“Keep in mind I’m used to just about any random sandwich combination having worked in three different stores with interesting regulars. There’s the guy who basically got a full cambro of black olives on his sandwich every damn time he came in (he wasn’t supposed to be allowed, but I just marveled at how many he got and did it because…well not many people get them anyways) and the guy who sometimes got salads where the lettuce was replaced with jalapenos, but…
One time I’m working and a guy comes in and I ask him what he wants. He gets a foot-long worth of bread but says he wants nothing on it. So I ask ‘Veggie?’ and head over to the veggie area, and we just stare at each other and I realize he meant nothing. So just as I’m about to tell him that I’d have to charge him for a veggie if he just wants the bread (I assumed for something else, as people tend to ask from time to time) he asks for salt and pepper. I pause for a moment and put it on. Maybe he doesn’t have any at home and wants some on. But then he asks for more. And more. And more.
There’s now a very strong layer of salt and pepper, as visible as if it were meat laid end to end and keep in mind there are holes in the bread so there’s even more hiding. And then he pays for it, sits down and eats it. The whole thing.
I can’t even. That’s just the one thing that has stuck with me…there were many odd cases working at Subway for this long.”
That Veggie Sandwich Looks Unrecognizable
“I’ve seen it all. I don’t work at Subway anymore, but I remember a few things.
There was one guy who would order a vegetarian sub and got a little bit of vegetables on it and a sh-t ton of onions. He always asked for more. Like I mean I couldn’t see anything else on the sub because there were that many onions.
And of course the obvious sauce people who order four or five different sauces and the sub is just dripping and soggy.”
We Wonder How He Eats It, Too
“This one guy always came in and got a meatball sub with everything on it. Every vegetable and a line of ever sauce. It was so nasty looking and drippy I don’t know how the f–k he ate it.”
A Burnt Atrocity
“I worked at a Subway when I was 15, and I will never forget this one customer. He asked me for a toasted tuna sub on Italian bread. He wanted it toasted with the tuna on the bread, and told me to ‘burn it.’ I sh-t you not, I probably toasted his sub 4-5 times and it was charcoal black. There was no color whatsoever to his sandwich. He then instructed me to put cheese on it, and then microwave it. F–king disgusting.”
The Worst Smelling Sub
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“There a was a regular that would order a seafood sub, extra extra seafood, with American cheese, extra bacon, and southwest sauce. That’s it. It was disgusting and smelt so bad.”
Not Disgusting, But Incredibly Wasteful
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“Subway was my first job when I was 16. I loved it. The best part of it were the sandwiches you could make yourself after you got off shift. A double meat steak and cheese with bacon and slices of chicken breast topped with mayo and southwest sauce was my personal favorite. I was the anti-Jared. I loved being able to put copious amounts of vegetables–black olives in particular–on my sandwich. When you go there now I feel like the people skimp on it. The hidden gem of Subway is the frozen cookie dough. So good…
Enough of memory lane. My worst sandwich I ever made was probably for my sister. She didn’t get a sandwich! She would just ask for a piece of bread and eat that. I told her it was such a waste, but that’s the only thing she wanted. And I still had to ring her up like she was ordering a veggie delight. It always pissed me off when she came in for nothing but the bread. Maybe it’s not disgusting; just more of a waste…but her waste disgusted me.”
The Demon Sub
“I’ve been working at Subway for about a month now, but there is this one motherf–ker, oh my Lord, I hate him. Whenever I work in the evenings, I DREAD his arrival. First let’s go over what he looks like. He’s about 5 foot 5 inches short little jerk. His beard is untamed, and he works at an auto body shop, coming in right after work. His face is a mixture of depression, and anger. And his teeth. They’re either golden, or rotted to the gumline.
And now, for his sub. FIRST day of work, he comes in and starts laughing. Then my trainer comes out and starts laughing. I had no idea what was about to happen. She says: ‘If you need help with his sub, I’ll be in the back.’ So I’m thinking he just wants a double meat double cheese big philly. They’re a pain in the a– to make. I was wrong. I was so wrong.
He chooses Italian, pronouncing it: ‘EYE-TAY-ELL-IT-AN bread’ Then he says he’d like a simple club. No biggie I thought, should be easy. I looked at my cheat sheet and four Turkey four Ham four Bacon. Super Simple. I put the bacon on, without asking if he wanted it toasted or not. And he calls me on it. ‘Remake it!’ Alright, that’s fine, it’s my first day and I’m going to make a few mistakes. Remade it, and asked what he wanted. ‘I want the meat from the other one, since you messed it up. And the cheese. No charge, since it’s in the trash. And then I want…double meat and cheese. Since there’s already two times there…double that would be four times, yeah?’ F–K THIS GUY. So I make his sub, 16 chicken 16 ham 16 bacon, it’s falling out of the bread. After I toast this demon sub, I go to veggies. ‘And what kind of veggies for you today, sir?’ And he just smiles this stupid f–king toothless grin. He goes through each vegetable, one by one. Why does he do this? Because, if this guy doesn’t tell me everything at once, I have to assume he doesn’t want anything else. If he would have just said ‘Everything’ I could put less of certain ones on, in order to save room. But no, one by one he lists them. After I get everything on, I look down and it’s bread with veggies stacked on top. That’s all there is. He laughs a bit more, and says, ‘Put that bread that you messed up on, on top for me. BUT, not before we get done with the sauces.’ However, the way that he says sauces is just like the guy from Epic Meal Time: ‘SAUWSHES.’ After about 20 f–king sauces, I put the other piece of bread on top, ring him out, and go to the back. My trainer and someone else (turned out to be my manager, I hadn’t seen her yet) were laughing their a–es off. The guy walks in the back, and puts an arm around my trainer. Apparently, it was her husband. And I hate him. ‘I can’t believe you actually made it for him!’ If this wasn’t my first job, I would have quit right there.”
The Other Man-wich
“I had a friend come in and ask for the Man-wich. He wanted at least one of every kind of meat. It was absolutely stacked. I’m talking chicken, meatballs, every kind of cut. Then on top of that he still put a sh-t ton of veggies. He said it was pretty good but his sister thought it was gross. Pretty sure she also got sick from it.”
The Sandwich Struggle
“I had a customer come in on several occasions (I haven’t seen him in a while) that ordered: Oven Roasted Chicken Breast, Chicken Teriyaki, Turkey Breast, Tuna, American Cheese, Shredded Monterrey Cheddar Cheese, Toasted, Lettuce, Pickles, and Spicy Mustard.
All on the same motherf–king sandwich. Imagine the struggle to close this monstrosity for a moment. And this was full portions of every kind of meat and cheese. So…eight pieces of turkey, four scoops of tuna, two trays of teriyaki, and two pieces of chicken breast.
After over four years, I’ve learned not to judge. I mean, I eat chicken bacon and cheese with lettuce, pickles, sweet onion sauce, ranch, honey mustard, oil and vinegar, and all of the shakes.”
Totally Not A Seafood Sensation
“Meatball sub. Add the ‘seafood sensation’ (and boy, it was a sensation of some sort all right), which is rubber pretending to be artificial crab smothered in mayonnaise. Then toasted that sh-t.
HOT, EXTRA-CHEWY, CRAB-FLAVORED RUBBER ON MEATBALLS, SLATHERED IN MAYONNAISE.
Also, if you’ve never had the singular misfortune to have tried the seafood sensation, it is astonishingly bad. A coworker once dared me to eat it, and I managed to get her to agree to eat some too. We both almost threw up.”
The Order That Was Just Hard To Watch
“Former sandwich artist here. I once thought the grossest sandwich order was a meatball with mustard until a customer requested a sandwich that took the cake. It started off as a regular meatball sub with provolone cheese on top and toasted to perfection. As was usual with meatball subs, the customer stuck to light veggies with a bit of lettuce and black olives, but then we got to condiments. This customer asked for one squirt of every type of dressing on his meatball sub, and I mean EVERYTHING. We’re talking mayo, yellow mustard, spicy mustard, ranch, chipotle, bbq sauce, buffalo sauce, olive oil, red vinegar, you name it, he wanted it on his sandwich. The sandwich artist in me wept as I complied with his request. I wrapped up his sandwich and rang him up trying to make as little eye contact as possible. All I could think of was how he had successfully ruined what could have been a delightful sandwich.”
Surprise Me With My Order
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“Maybe not gross, just weird…I was a ‘sandwich artist’ (one of my more illustrious titles) for two years. My favorite was a guy who came in, got some footlong sub, was going through the ingredients he wanted, when suddenly he covered his eyes and said ‘and ONE jalapeno slice, but don’t show me where it is! I like to be surprised.’
I also had a guy come in a lot who would order a meatball sub and asked me to cut his balls in half.”
Soccer Mom Here To Order Something Outrageous
“I worked at Subway for about a week but that was enough. Had a soccer mom come in, had a van and EVERYTHING. Asked for spicy tuna, teriyaki chicken, every cheese there was to offer, lettuce, toast, tomatoes, oil and I’m talking OIL she had me going till it was forming a puddle on the paper under the sandwich, black olives, honey mustard, and mayo. It smelled. BAD. Oh and on flatbread.”