Whether you've been put under or not, you know waking up from anesthesia can cause a person to do and say some pretty funny things. These people took that to a whole new level!
I’m Exploding!
“I was waking up from having my wisdom teeth out. I don’t remember any of this, but my nurse said that I spit out the bloody gauze that was in my mouth, then immediately started sobbing saying “was that my liver? Ohhhh noooo, my liver, oh no!” Apparently I thought I was throwing up organs” Source
I Command Thee Lord Molar
“When I came out from having my wisdom teeth pulled I apparently shot up, looked at the doctor and said “Charlatan! I demand you return my teeth! They are mine and I will choose where they are to be spent!” My dad said he couldn’t stop laughing because I wouldn’t leave without them. When I woke up at home I asked my dad why my teeth were in a plastic bag on the table, he told me everything and promptly started calling me Lord Molar for the rest of the night” Source
We’ve Got A Mathematician On Our Hands
“Doctor here. You may know that we ask the patient to count down from 10 while we put him under? Well he woke up murmuring “-53, -54, -55…” as if he’d been counting in his sleep” Source
Mumbling Gibberish
“Nurse here: Patient waking up post-surgery got pissed off at me when I asked him how he was feeling, I continued to ask him if he was hurting because he was just going around in circles about how its “Not fair” and that “this is ridiculous.” Then he looks at me square in the chest, and states “I haven’t even looked in the refrigerator yet.” Then proceeded to flop his head back down and drift off” Source
Well That Worked Out Well
“When I dislocated my knee, I spent my post-anesthesia time alternately yelling about wanting to shake crying babies to death (they put one right outside my room), and yelling about how hot the X-Ray guy was to anyone who would listen.
We’re married now, so it worked out pretty well” Source
They Still There Doc?
“I had an operation to remove a cyst from my ovary but there was a good chance I would loose one or both of my ovaries. I had no recollection of this but the nurses told my mom I asked “do I still have my lady balls” Source
But Mom!
“I don’t want to go to school mommy, I have a feeeeeeeeever.” -40 year old man” Source
Your Way With Me
“Sir, I have an immense amount of respect for you, however I cannot allow you to have your way with me and my mother. You’re just not gonna do it, did you really think you’d get away with it, you filthy bastard?”- 12 year old me coming out of surgery on my large intestine. I don’t even know man, I don’t even know” Source
That’s One Way To Wake Up
“When I had nasal surgery, I’d been dreaming about a shooting competition I went to. I woke up asking the nurse if she’d remembered to lock down the rifle box in the van. She looked a bit terrified” Source
A Colorful Extraction
“I came to pick my boyfriend up after he had all four wisdom teeth removed at once. The dentist had given him halcion as well as nitrous and local anesthetic, so he was downright loopy. When I walked into the room, he was sprawled across the chair like a ragdoll, except that he was clutching his beloved Rubik’s cube in his left hand. His head lolled to the side to face me, and he proudly exclaimed, with a mouthful of gauze, “I sfffolfed thifff whall Ah wafffffffffffff—ed up! (I solved this while I was f—- up!)” right in front of the middle-aged dental assistant. She informed me, with a smile, that it had been the most ‘colorful’ extraction of her life. I helped him out of the chair and he ran down the hallway to show the receptionist his cube. Other highlights of the day were “I can’t feel my beard! Well, I can feel it, but my beard can’t,” and “Man, it’s good to have something in my stomach besides drugs” once he was able to eat” Source
My Treat
“Looking after a young man in recovery, they tend to come round really quickly from anaesthetic. He suddenly sits up, looks at me and says “Grab your coat, we’re going to Nandos, my treat” then sat back and fell asleep again” Source
Get Them Out!
“When my sister got her wisdom teeth pulled, she woke up with gauze filled in her mouth. She started screaming to “get the tampons out!” of her mouth. haha gross, but awesome” Source
Look At Me Look At Me
“I had a LEEP procedure done. (I had some abnormal cells on my cervix that were removed). When I woke up I turned the blanket down and lifted my gown. They had put a bunch of, like, tissue paper or gauze or something down there and it was sticking up between my legs. I looked to my mom and said, “Look at me! I look like a box of Kleenex!”, then laughed hysterically for a few minutes” Source
There There
“When I came out of anesthesia, I slowly grabbed my dad by his shirt collar, stared him in the eyes, and told him I was going to eat our family parrots when I got home.
He wasn’t really sure how to respond. I patted him on the cheek and laid back down” Source
Letting The Cat Out Of The Bag
“After getting my tonsils removed, the sweet elderly nurse asked me where the stamps on my hand were from. I told her, “I got these at the titty bar, ma’am” I am a small blonde girl. My mom was horrified and the nurse was shocked” Source
Move Over, I’ll Do It
“After being told of minor complications when I was coming round after an appendectomy I apparently said ‘Aw for f—- sake, I’ll do it’ and was also very worried that my appendix would grow back” Source
Spinnin’ Records
“I remember after I woke from having my wisdom teeth removed, I was sliding my tongue around my teeth feeling the numbness and for some reason I said “It feels like there’s a DJ in my mouth” Source
A Bloody Secret
“When my brother woke up from getting his wisdom teeth removed, he looked in a mirror and saw the blood. He calmly just said “I look like I ate someone.” and he then proceeded to just sit down and start giggling” Source
That Poor Girl Scout
“When I got my wisdom teeth out, I was fully under. I don’t even remember getting home. This is where my memory kicked in:
My parents guide me into the house and sit me down on the closest sofa to the door. They tell me they’re going back to the pharmacy to get the drugs and that I should just stay in the sofa. “Don’t swallow any of the gauze in your mouth.” They leave.
A few minutes later (or perhaps hours, my sense of time was still off), I hear a knock on the door. My parents HATE getting their keys out to unlock it themselves, usually, so I thought it was just them being lazy. I get up and open the door.
But it isn’t my parents. It’s a little girl scout selling cookies.
She holds up the list with all the cookies on it and asks me if I want to buy anything.
I open my mouth to say, “No, thank you,” but instead a something like, “gaahhh taaak ooo” comes out of my mouth. And at the very last moment, a small stream of blood starts running out of the corner of my mouth. Her face went ghostly white. She was paralyzed and couldn’t even scream. A second later, she gets hold of herself and bolts to her mom who was waiting at the end of the sidewalk.
I close the door and sit back down on the couch.
I have NEVER had anyone knock on my door to sell me anything since” Source
Getting Naked
“I got a concussion and broke my arm when I was 18 while playing basketball. I was only wearing my gym shorts and my basketball shoes at the time. My friends took me to the emergency room right away and the people driving forgot to grab my stuff.
When I got there I was doped up with morphine so they could set my arm. I guess I got really tired and empathetically expressed this to the nurse and doctors. I apparently then proceeded to try to get naked repeatedly so that I could go to sleep. So the I’m waiting for the doctor to set my arm and I keep pulling my pants off with my bone sticking out of my left arm.
Concussions are crazy” Source
Sharing Secrets
“My friends dad (a large man himself) said to the anesthesiologist right before going under, “what diiiieeeet aaaaaarrrree yooooouuuu oooonnnnn” Source
Beauty And The Beast
“I was going in for ACL replacement surgery and I was terrified because its a big, painful surgery. They noticed I was freaked out so they gave me Ativan, which I guess was supposed to calm me down. I had no idea, but I guess I’m allergic to Ativan.
About 1/2 hour after they administered it to me, they all came in to do the pre-op interviews. When they took my blood pressure, it was through the roof, so they started talking to me, asking if I felt ok. I remember saying, “Well, yeah, but how come the door is melting and the furniture is dancing around the room?” There was a long pause and the anestheologist all the sudden busted out with a Beauty and The Beast song. He was seriously twirling around the room singing at the top of his lungs. I thought I was losing my mind and hallucinating that as well.
The short of it is that they figured out that I was allergic to Ativan, they cancelled my surgery and rescheduled it for like 2 months later. When I went back, they didn’t give me the Ativan the second time. The doctor came in and was like, “Oh hai! You’re the Beauty and the Beast girl!” I was like oh gosh, you REALLY did sing that song because I knew I was hallucinating, but I thought I had hallucinated him singing the song as well? He laughed and mentioned something about lightening the mood at the time. Pretty dang funny – I still laugh about him doing that” Source
Close Enough?
“After I got my wisdom teeth out and went home to pass out, I had a dream that I was eating chicken fingers at Waffle House, and it felt so life like.
Plot Twist: I actually ate all the guaze in my mouth while I was drugged up” Source