23 Truckers Describe The Most WTF Thing They’ve Seen On The Open Road

Truckers can be on the roads for days at a time, so it's no wonder they see some pretty crazy stuff. Other drivers, accidents, and things that can't be explained so easily...These stories may seem hard to believe, but the truckers who tell them swear by them!

Florida Man Strikes Again

“Just the other week, I was driving down a rural-ish highway in north Florida and saw a mostly nude man sprinting in and out of traffic. He was waving a jacket in one hand, and smashing a big suitcase against the ground with the other. He would sprint up the shoulder for 20 or 30 feet, dart out into the lanes as if he was trying to cross the road, then he’d just start running down the middle of the lane, shaking the briefcase at cars like a weapon.

Still have no idea what that was all about, I got the f— out of there before he could dive under my tires. On the trip back, the guy was gone, but the jacket, the suitcase, and his shoes were all in a pile alongside the median.”

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When You’re Desperate, Anything Will Do…

“My friend stopped at a truck stop in South Carolina where they had only one working shower stall and it was occupied. While waiting, he heard this guy grunting furiously and he was taking a very long time to finish, so my friend, being a brash person, opens the shower curtain to tell the dude to hurry up. Inside, the guy is standing with his back to the water vigorously f—ing a sub sandwich from the shop in the truck stop. My friend just said, ‘What the f—!’ and closed the shower curtain and went and waited in his truck. When he went back later, the guy had left the whole sub in pieces scattered in the shower. My friend didn’t end up showering that day.”

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Darwin Award Champions

“Came down a hill with a full load of grain (gross weight around 86,000 lbs.) and rounded a curve doing somewhere close to 60 mph. Dead ahead, about 100 yards, was a narrow bridge. Sitting in my lane, in the middle of the bridge, were several people in lawn chairs with coolers scattered around and fishing lines tossed over the side. I laid on the air horn and hit the tractor and trailer brakes and stopped about 15 feet from the lawn chairs. The people had already s— their pants and were standing next to the bridge railing. I asked if they had noticed the ‘No Fishing Off Bridge’ signs posted on both ends of the bridge and one of them answered, ‘We seen ’em, but we didn’t know you was gonna be comin’ this way.’ I just rolled up the window and pulled away.”

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There’s A Story There…And It’s Probably Gross

“I once saw an old man driving a Chrysler Lebaron with a naked elderly lady and a young man in a tuxedo in the back seat. Of all the things I’ve seen out on the road, this one sticks with me the most.”

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“My Mommy Says You’ll Be Ok!”

“In Missouri, I stopped at an off ramp to stretch out and take a breather. As I’m smoking a cigarette, a little girl from some direction I couldn’t figure out giggled and said, ‘Hi, mister!’

My initial reaction was, ‘The f— is a little kid doing out here at this time?’ So I talked back and said, ‘Hi.’

She then responded with, ‘My mommy says you’ll be ok, don’t worry!’ Now utterly confused, I asked her what she meant. No response. Then, suddenly, I felt like somebody was standing next to me, but it doesn’t feel negative or bad. Just felt like somebody was right there next to me. Since it didn’t have a negative vibe to it, I just finished my cigarette and left. Later on down the road, I realized that I forgot to fuel up at my last stop when the warning light came on. So I scrambled to look at my GPS and find the nearest truck stop, I found one and set the course. As I rolled up to the truck stop, my truck starts sputtering and I barely make it to the fuel line before the truck started dying. I ran out of fuel right as I got on the fuel line. It wasn’t until I was fueling up that it occurred to me what the h— happened at my last stop.”

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That Monkey’s Ready To Rumble

“I was waiting out front of a truck stop back in the mid-’80s. Sitting on a park bench with a guy that had a big Rottweiler kinda dog on a leash with him. I tried to make small talk, but he was quite a sourpuss. So we sat in silence for a few minutes until the most unexpected thing I have ever seen happened right before my very eyes. While we were sitting there, a big 18 wheeler pulls in without a trailer (Bobtail), so he parks right up front like a normal car would. Inside the cab of the truck, with the driver, is a little monkey. The dance for the organ grinder kind.

The dog spots this lil monkey and proceeds to go apes— over it. Lunging at the end of his leash and barking at the top of his lungs. Generally making a real spectacle of himself, to say the least. The driver is obviously upset, but not nearly as much as the monkey is. Actually, upset may be the wrong adjective to use for the monkey though. In retrospect, I think eagerly aggressive may be a more appropriate description for his disposition. He was pacing the dashboard back and forth. Never taking his eyes off of this very aggravating dog.

The driver opens his little triangle window that they don’t make on cars anymore. The ones made for smokers back in the day. He yells out to this douchebag to call his dog off because it is upsetting his monkey. The guy laughs and says no way. I told you he was a jerk, didn’t I? He says that his dog ain’t bothering nobody. The dog hasn’t shut up since he laid eyes on the monkey. I promise you he is bothering everybody for several blocks around.

Now, here’s where things start to get interesting. The driver says that if he doesn’t call his dog off, he’s gonna let his monkey loose on that dog. Douchebag laughs and says that his dog would eat that monkey alive. Upon hearing this, the driver leans over and reaches into his glove box and pulls out one of those tiny baseball bats like you used to get at carnivals and places it in the monkey’s hand. The monkey obviously knows what’s about to go down because he is now trying to squeeze out of that little triangular window I mentioned earlier. This monkey has murder in his eyes if I have ever seen it. Driver hollers, ‘Last chance to save your dog’s a– man.’

In response, douchebag lets his dog off of the leash. Now we have a situation that has escalated to the point where we have a dog jumping up at the window and a monkey screaming profanities right back at him. Well, the driver finally rolls down the regular window and out leaps all kinds of miniature primate hell.

The dog never knew what hit him.

Quick as a flash, this monkey is riding on the back of this dog’s neck. His two back feet all wrapped up in his neck fur with one hand hanging onto an ear. The other hand, as you may have guessed by now, is steadily and mercilessly raining down blows about this dog’s head and face. I mean hard blows. You can hear them ‘WHAP. WHAP. WHAP.’ Well, it only took a moment for the dog to realize he was in way over his head. He bolts, yelping bloody murder as he runs away at full speed. I mean this dog is running so f—ing hard he’s throwing up tufts of grass and dirt as soon as he leaves the pavement. The monkey is still riding him and beating on him the whole time.

Douchebag acts like he wants to fight now, but several people, including myself, stepped in to stop that nonsense. In a couple of minutes or so the little monkey comes loping back with his little bat still in hand, and leaps up into the still open window of the truck to await his master who has gone into the store. That douchebag ran off to try to go find his dog, but I don’t know if he ever did. Never again in this lifetime will I see something so totally crazy and unexpected like that. I am both fortunate and humble to have been so privileged to be present for such an event.”

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The Driver Sees All

“You’d be amazed at how many women don’t think that anyone can see them masturbating at traffic lights, but when you’re in a truck you are quite high up and from the truck drivers perspective you can see straight into the cars stopped beside you. Due to the driver of the car being on the opposite side and the roof of their car being so close to their head, they can’t see the driver of the truck looking. The driver of the truck has a perfect view of everything from chest down, low cut shirts, braless days, no panties days, feeling frisky in the afternoon moments when hands disappear into pants, I’ve even seen passengers giving the driver head.”

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I’ll…Just…Leave Them To It

“I worked as a trucker for a year or so and had some weird experiences.

One of the strangest things I saw was just off the Trans-Canada in BC. It was surprisingly dead on the road I was on (nobody going either direction) which was weird, even for a Wednesday in the wee hours of the morning. I round a corner and see a pillar of smoke. My initial thought is, ‘That explains the no traffic!’

I start to slow down since it’s kind of a blind corner and see that there is only one car off in the ditch, fire blazing. I pull off the road to see if anyone is injured and can’t see anyone. On the other side of the clearing is, no joke, four or five black bears standing on their back legs. As I notice them, they all begin roaring just crazily, like I intruded on some sort of party or something. I back away back into my truck and watch as they calm down and continue to watch the fire.

What the f— happened that morning, I’ll never know. Bears are weird.”

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A Familiar Face

“A family friend was a trucker for many years. He was driving me somewhere and he told me a couple of messed up stories. But one I still remember really well. He was driving at 4 am on the freeway, and a car came at full speed from an on-ramp. He said the car hit a center divider and literally split the car in half. He pulled over and went to check on the driver. He said the half of the person’s torso was gone and the face was completely smashed in. He said the trunk of the car was open and there was papers flying everywhere. He picked up some of the papers and one was a letter with the person’s name on it. He had worked with the guy a year before he started trucking. He said it really freaked him out.”

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Trust Your Gut…

“I was driving for Costco a few years back. It was around that time of year. We usually took extra toy shipments to various locations for the holiday season. We got a call that one of our locations in rural Kentucky needed to restock their giant Spiderman dolls. They knew I was a fast driver, so I was given the last minute late night duty. I loaded my truck and headed out on the 265. It was around 3 am when I started to have this eerie feeling. I chalked it up to just being tired and popped a couple of NoDoz. About 15 minutes later, the road started to fog up. I mean, more so than any other time before or since. It got to the point where I had to pull off to the side and wait. There weren’t any other cars on the road and I was ahead of time, so I figured I could wait until it cleared up a bit.

After about five minutes of sitting still in silence, my truck went dead. No lights, no engine, nothing. I tried to crank it, but it was like the battery was dead. I tried my CB, but cannot get anyone on. I checked my cell phone and there was no signal. As I was sitting there, contemplating my next move, I heard what sounded like a child crying. It slowly morphed into a woman crying. Or at least that what it sounded like to me.

Now, I’m a big man, 6’3, 250 pounds, but I refused to exit my cab. I did roll down my window and asked if anybody needed help. At that point, the crying stopped. Then I heard what sounded like a sinister laugh. I felt like the laughter was directed at me. I rolled up my window and it seemed like the more scared I became, the louder the laugh went. Then, as suddenly as it started, it stopped. And just like that, my truck started back up and the fog dissipated. I drove out of there like a bat out of hell. I got to the next truck stop and pulled in. I ran to the bathroom and pour water on my face and asked myself, ‘Did that really just happen?'”

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Dodged A Bullet There

“I’ve had many lot lizards try the ‘good time’ routine with me. One in particular got up on my truck and started talking to me. Her breath was pretty bad, not something I wanted to smell as I’m doing my logbook getting ready to shut down. She tells me she’ll give me the best blowjob I’ve ever had, and for a second, I think about it. Nope. Then, for some reason, she reaches down her spandex shorts and scratches herself deep, her hand comes back up onto the door and I can smell the most rancid crotch rot my nostrils have ever been blessed with. As politely as I could, I declined her services and told her that I really needed to get some sleep. She smiles and wishes me a good night, then hops on another driver’s truck across the way. 10 minutes later, she’s in his truck and it’s not long before you see the cab rocking. I ate my granola bar and noped the f— out to the sleeper and went to bed.”

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Doing Time, But Not For This Crime

“I work with prison inmates, many of whom, oddly enough, had past careers as long-haul truck drivers. This one guy once spent over an hour telling me of all the s— he experienced during his six years driving a semi across the United States. The one I remember the most:

He was hauling some furniture from California to New York. While cruising through a rather rural part of Oklahoma around 1 am, he hears some CB chatter from another trucker warning other truckers to be careful as there was a ‘crazy f—er’ walking around on a freeway in Oklahoma. He quickly realized it was the same freeway he was on and that he was within a mile of reaching the spot the other trucker was talking about, which he confirmed over CB. As he approached the approximate location, he said he was very vigilant, as well as curious. He didn’t notice anything and then suddenly a disheveled man appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. The trucker only noticed him when he was about 20 feet away. Going about 55 mph, the driver slammed on his breaks, but it did no good. He said all he heard was a hollow thud, which scared the s— out of him, so he kept going. Looking in his rear-view mirror, he clearly saw the man lying lifeless on the road. The trucker who made the initial CB call soon asked if anyone else had seen anything, to which the driver (inmate) said he hadn’t, that nothing was out of the ordinary. It was about 20 minutes later that he heard over his CB another trucker talking about the dead guy a few miles back. At that point, he’d already pulled into a truck stop to inspect his truck, no damage whatsoever.

This happened about four years prior to his incarceration, which was for sex with multiple minors (he was about 40-years-old). I asked him how he felt about the fact he killed someone and he gave me a pretty emotionless response, ‘I didn’t mean to do it, someone else would probably have hit him anyways.’ No one ever questioned him about it.”

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That’s One Way To Get Someone’s Attention

“I never did figure this one out. About 2 am, I drove around a curve while topping a hill and there was a girl standing in the middle of the road. She was only wearing high heels and a thong and she was standing in a very provocative way – but still right in the middle of the lane. I missed hitting her at 70 mph by a few feet. Hooking or suicidal? No idea – but I called the police so they could get her out of the road.”

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The Man In Gray

“Driving from Albuquerque to Socorro. I was on a stretch with no lights. Perfectly dark. I notice someone standing on the side of the road. As I pass him, my lights fully illuminate his face. Nothing about this guy seemed natural. His posture was weird, he was wearing a gray suit…and his face. It just looked ‘off,’ like a mask or something. For about half a second, we lock eyes, even with my headlights blinding him, it still felt like he was looking at me, not my truck. It really creeped me the f— out. Shortly after this, my CB started picking up some odd chirps, but I was pretty close to the VLA.

The high desert is a weird place.”

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Most Impressed By The Spelling

“Not long-haul, but my dad had been a delivery driver (think UPS, but local) for about 30 years, and I used to ride with him when I had days off from school. One Christmas vacation, I was riding with him, and we passed a hill on which someone had tracked in the fresh 8” snow, in 15-foot-high letters, ‘DIARRHEA.’

We both almost passed out from laughter. I was like 10, so it was about the funniest thing I ever saw.

F—er spelled it right, too.”

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Caution: Satanic Activity Ahead

“I was driving a shortcut from Twentynine Palms, CA to Albuquerque, NM. Twentynine Palms is located in the desolate high desert east of LA. The shortcut was all two lane road through total nothingness, except for passing through Amboy, CA. Amboy is a nearly abandoned town almost as far below sea level as Death Valley, with a dormant volcano and lava field on one side and a salt flat on the other. It was also, at the time, a hotspot for satanic group activity.

So I was driving by myself in the afternoon. I stopped in Amboy and snapped a picture of the city sign, just to prove I was there to friends who dared me to take that route to I-40. I got back in my car and proceeded to drive up into the mountain range between Amboy and I-40.

Once I reach the top I am driving north through a canyon with high grass on both sides of the road. Up ahead I see some stuff in the middle of the road. As I approach, I slow down to see a red Pontiac Fiero stopped sideways across both lanes, a suitcase open with clothes scattered everywhere and two bodies laying face down in the road, a man and a woman.

I stop a hundred feet or so away and the hair on the back of my neck is standing up. Being a Marine, I reach under the seat and pull out a 9mm pistol. Something seemed very wrong, it looked too perfect as if it were staged. An ambush? Was I being paranoid? Something was just wrong. Getting out of the car seemed unthinkable, it was the horror movie move.

As I scanned the road, I saw a line I could drive. Pass the guy in the road on his left, swerve to the right side of the woman, behind the Fiero and I’d be on the other side. I dropped it into first gear, punched it and drove the line I planned. I passed the back of the Fierro without hitting it or either of the bodies in the road. I continued forward a couple hundred feet and slowed down so I could breathe and let my heart slow down. As I looked up into the rearview mirror I saw that the two bodies had gotten up to their knees and twenty or so people emerged from the tall grass on either side of the road by the car and bodies.

At that moment, my right foot smashed the gas pedal to the floor and did not let up until I had to slowdown for the I-40 east on-ramp.

I will never know what would have happened to me had I gotten out of the car to check on the bodies or stopped my car closer to them. Somehow, I do not think it would have been good. Sometimes real life can be scarier than a movie.”

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A Prank…Or Something More Sinister?

“On Halloween this year, I saw a pale lady in a white dress walking around with what looked like a baby in her hands. I was driving down the interstate when this happened and even stopped, but she walked into the woods. I have no idea if this was a prank, if she needed help, or if this was a freaking ghost, but it scared the h— out of me.”

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Well, THAT Can’t Be Good

“My cousin’s a long haul driver and he reckons the scariest thing he’s ever seen was his own rig on fire.

He was driving at night somewhere in the northwest of Australia when he saw some sparks in his passenger wing mirror. He stopped to check it out and saw that the rim of one of his rear wheels was glowing red hot because, ‘the wheel bearing had s— itself.’

Before he could even think, the tires burst into flames. He was unable to reach the fire extinguisher because of the flames, so he had to call the fire brigade and stand back. The prime mover and semi trailer full of watermelon were engulfed by flames within a minute or two and by the time the firefighters showed up, everything was completely destroyed.”

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The Kind Of Thing That Sticks With You

“I drove a line haul for a few years and saw some neat/crazy things. The one that sticks out the most, though, was a prison I passed by on my route in rural, southeast Arkansas. I was passing through when a shift change occurred, I assumed, because I often saw a line of vehicles attempting to turn onto the small two lane highway I traveled. One evening, a person leaving the prison on a motorcycle thought he could cross the highway and beat the next vehicle coming, but he failed. I saw him get hit and then drug about 20 feet or so before the pickup truck stopped. We tried to help the guy, but it was a lost cause. There was so much flesh/blood/whatever along with bits of metal all over the place, we knew what had happened. Waiting for the first responders and then providing my info and all delayed me quite a bit that day, but I couldn’t get that guy out of my mind for a long time.

There was also the time when something very large swooped down/across my field of vision and almost hit my windshield. I assume it was a large owl/bird, but man it was big enough to make me pull over and question what in the h— just happened. My first reaction was thinking some kids had rigged up a rope to swing across the road. It was a HUGE bird. In Mississippi if it matters, close to the river.”

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Her Services Aren’t Wanted

“My dad told me this one. He was a few miles away from D.C. and this ‘lady of the evening’ hops up on the passenger side of the truck at a stop light. My dad traveled with our Australian shepherd with him and she was asleep in the passenger seat. He cracked the window and the lady proceeds to try to proposition him for a good time. About that time, the dog wakes up and lunged at the window. The lady went flying back off the truck onto her a–, the glass was between her and the dog. My dad said it was the funniest thing he has ever witnessed, the lady was yelling and threatening to sue as the light turned green and he drove off.”

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Driving Along Route 666…

“A few years back, I was traveling through Ute native land in New Mexico on Highway 491. 491 used to be Route 666, but they changed it a few years back. I think people were stealing the signs. Anyways, I’m in the middle of the desert around midnight, no lights or civilization for miles, when up in the sky there’s a huge, orange flash. The orange flash quickly ‘inflated’ into a giant ball, bigger than the sun. It even had a fiery looking texture to it. Suddenly, the orange ball disappeared, and the entire desert sky, horizon to horizon, flashed a bright yellow, lighting up the everything around me like it was daytime. Then everything went back to normal. This all happened within a few seconds, but it was definitely the weirdest thing I’ve seen on the road.”

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What A Tease!

“People jacking off while driving is a little more common than you would think. It’s a 50/50 ratio from what I’ve seen, dudes to women. Most of the guys who do it are probably showing off, cause these dudes have a serious problem with their d—s. First one I saw, I thought the guy must’ve hung a brick on it or something.

The last one I saw though, was when I was a local driver. I was coming back into San Bernardino from Calexico, ending my shift. I’m about 15-20 minutes from the yard, and it’s starting to hit morning twilight. Then this jacka– in a Nissan Frontier keeps riding beside me. I look down as this idiot passes me and they have their cab light on, tan butter smooth legs, white mini skirt, and a hoodie. She starts scratching her thigh, as she goes faster. But wait, she gets ahead, and slows back down right next to me, scratching or more like playing with her inner thigh now. I know where this is going, seen it a million times. Once again, pull forward, then come back, now she’s fapping. OHHH S—! RED PANTIES! Nice…

She pulls up again and slows back down to where she’s next to me again. This time she’s all slumped in her seat going at it like a f—in puma. Alas, she pulls up again and starts taking off. Problem.

She pulls far enough ahead that I can see her through the back window of the cab. It’s a f—in old guy with a crew cut. I called my driver manager and said, ‘I ain’t coming into work tonight, dude.’

His reply was, ‘Oh yeah? You think so?’

My final response was, ‘Dude I just saw a tranny looking shemale guy whackin’ off in its truck! That’s a wrap on the day! I’m done! I’m going home and not coming out!’

He started laughing and told me to go ahead and stay home since there wasn’t much work the next night anyway.”

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A Fright Of Revolutionary Proportions

“My first couple years, I was a night driver, so it was hard to see things sometimes. I was in Pennsylvania trying to follow a flatbed who was hauling serious a– through the mountains. At one point, I started to fall back because I could feel the van starting to lean. It wasn’t long after that I reached down to take a swig off the handy Monster I had, and when I looked up, there’s a guy standing off to the shoulder, just outside the tree line, wearing what appeared to be some type of soldier’s uniform. Looked like Revolutionary War era, he had a musket as well. As I approached, I could see him staring right at me, and then he started walking back into the tree line still looking at me. Before he managed to make it through the trees, he disappeared. Like, literally vanished into thin air. I had my windows down, and the air in the area got real cold. After about a mile, the air warmed up again. I had a really sad feeling come over me for a while afterward. Needless to say, I didn’t stop for the rest of my shift.”

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