The Wedding Day Problems Started Immediately
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According to Becky, “As soon as the first people started to arrive, things went sideways. The groomsmen noticed that the only people arriving weren’t even direct family of the bride or groom, they were mostly friends of the bride’s mother. It wasn’t until closer to the ceremony start time that the bride and grooms’ friends actually showed up. Some of them showed up as the ceremony was midway through, most looking embarrassed and shocked to find that the ceremony had already started.”
What in the world was going on? Why was everyone late? The answer was pretty disturbing. You see, the mother of the bride, Becky learned, had never had her own wedding and in the most narcissistic of ways, had made a huge number of changes that she’d wanted, regardless of her daughter’s thoughts or feelings. She was determined to make this day all about her, it was finally HER big day, forget the actual bride.
For starters, to draw attention to herself immediately, Becky said that “the Mother of the Bride wore one of the skimpiest dresses I’ve ever seen a mature woman wear. Deep v-neck, slit up the side, and…no bra at all.” Becky was actually a little surprised she didn’t wear a white dress. The mother of the bride even chose her own “special song played for her as she was walked down the aisle to her seat.” This was obviously a surprise change, as the groom looked visibly angry as she strutted her way down the aisle. This mom was going to get all the attention, no matter what.
But what about the rest of the guests, why were they so late? Becky learned why the next day: “The mother of the bride decided to start making changes to her daughter’s wedding. She not only sent out the wrong times to friends of the bride and groom, she told most of them that they wouldn’t be invited to the reception because it was going to be a close family event.”
Uh oh, the reception was a “family event?” This was news to everyone else involved, including Becky and yes, the bride and groom themselves. That started a chain reaction that no one could have predicted.
The Changes Hit Becky’s Team Immediately After The Ceremony
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Before the reception was to begin, the bride stormed into the kitchen, furious at Becky. “How could this have happened?” she raged, “You all said this was easily done and now half of my friends can’t even come to the reception? You need to fix this, this is totally unprofessional.”
Becky was stunned. She had made all the proper arrangements, she had even made all the changes that the mother of the bride had requested!
That’s when it hit her and that’s when she realized all those changes the mother of the bride had made were without the true consent or even knowledge of the bride. It was shocking and Becky was devastated. The 20 meals Becky had changed were actually for the mother’s friends and it meant that 20 friends of the bride and groom weren’t getting served. The mother of the bride had actually lied when she said the original guests weren’t coming, she just wanted to invite more of her friends without increasing the price of the catering and if that meant some of the bride’s friends didn’t get a meal, so be it. It was an astoundingly selfish move.
Once all parties involved realized what was going on, the bride quite understandably broke down in tears. Becky and her team knew they needed to try and make this right. After a few hugs, calming reassurances and a glass of Pinot for the bride, Becky quickly sprung into action.
“We failed to protect this bride, but we won’t concede the day to this wretch of a woman, so we took a financial hit and I called in a favor and we were able to get just enough food to have entrees for all of the bride and grooms’ guests.” Becky was determined to make this about the bride, as it should have been, not about the bride’s psycho mother.
But first, she would learn why the bride and groom had refused to attend their own rehearsal dinner.
The Mother Of The Bride Causes A Scene
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It’s hard to believe, but the mother of the bride found another way to make the day all about herself, not her daughter. It started the night before. The argument that led to the couple not showing to the rehearsal? Becky wrote, “It was because the (mother of the bride) suggested changing the wedding party table seating, where she was slap dab in the middle of the table, BETWEEN the bride and groom.” Even though both the bride and the groom vetoed that idea, the mother hadn’t given it up at all.” Turns out that was more than just a suggestion, she straight up made the change at the wedding, and caused a scene when the bride and groom tried to sit together.”
That’s right, she wanted to be at the head of the first table, like a queen, and actually got angry when they tried to insist on sitting side by side like a bride and groom are supposed to!
The nerve of the bride and groom to want to sit together! At this point, the bride was beside herself.
The Wedding Was Over
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The scene, as Becky described it, was insane. “I came out of the kitchen to handle the situation but at that point, the screaming match between the mother of the bride, the wedding party, and the groom was out of control. I tried to step in, I tried to find a way to handle it, but I failed at stopping this nonsense and the bride just got up and left the room entirely. My friend and I found her crying in the hallway”
What could be done? Becky told her co-worker to get the groom, who came back to meet the bride in the kitchen. It began as a tense discussion, with the groom going on an “I told you so rant,” but he quickly changed his tune and comforted his bride. After everything that happened, the bride and groom decided they weren’t leaving the kitchen, no doubt they were just as shocked as Becky at the display the mother had put on.
Soon, since only the hors-d’oeuvres were served before everything came crashing down, guests began trickling out, and the wedding party (sans psycho mother of the bride) were in the kitchen with the couple.
“We gave them a private dinner and as many drinks as we could, while the vultures outside all dissipated slowly,” said Becky. The bride and groom, in turn, were appreciative of Becky and her team, “(They) apologized for their ‘planner’s’ behavior and about us spending extra money on food that wouldn’t be used at all now,” as dinner never officially got served. But it was Becky that was the sorriest.
“We stopped them and gave an apology of our own, and promise that we would work to do better than this, because as of right now, this is embarrassing, we failed the bride. We may have not meant it, we probably couldn’t have fully prevented the events that night, but we failed them with our unpreparedness and our naivety.”
Becky learned a lot that day and she revamped her entire process to ensure that something like this never happened again on her watch, such as setting passwords with the bride and groom that are needed to make changes.
Sadly, nothing happened to the bride’s mother that day, and Becky never heard from the couple again. Yet there is no doubt this awful woman deserved a lot of bad karma, so maybe later, her disgusting behavior will come back to haunt her.