Flying Solo Is A No-Go
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“I am a used car dealer from New Jersey. The only info I get before a test drive is a driver’s license and a phone number. I was selling a 2006 Honda Odyssey EX-l to this guy. He said that he knew the area, so I let him go alone because we were short staffed. I told him to keep it short.
This imbecile was gone for three hours. He ignored my phone calls. I was about to call the police but I decided to give him another half hour. He finally came back with the van filled with groceries and some garbage from Home Depot. I was peeved and he knew it. I’ll never forget what he said:
‘I know you’re angry,’ he said, ‘but before you say anything, I’ll buy it.’
I laughed and held firm on the price, which he did not seem to have a problem with.”
“Oh By The Way, The Check Engine Light Came On For Some Reason”
“Thankfully this did not happen to me. It was one of my salesman I had hired in the past.
He had a guy test drive an S500 Mercedes, which was only a few years old at the time. He let the gentleman and his wife have it alone, which happens frequently at high line dealerships. They returned 45 minutes later, which was a bit of a long test drive. They said that the check engine light popped on, the ABS light popped on, and that they were scared of the car. They left.
He came to find out that they removed some $2500 worth of parts to fix their S500 at a repair shop a few miles away. Thankfully they were found out and caught.”
“Jim’s New Ride”
“I was working at a Dayton, Ohio BMW dealership selling new and used cars. A late twentysomething, fairly well dressed gentleman wanted to look at a used Jeep Cherokee. He had credit issues but I called a local credit union and got him approved. I grabbed the keys and we left for a test drive.
He asked to stop by his financial advisor’s office to get a second opinion. I was slightly reluctant because this office was located in the absolute worst part of Dayton. I agreed since it was only three miles from the dealership. He pulled into this parking lot and ran inside this sleazy club and tells me to wait. Soon, all these exotic dancers came out to check out ‘Jim’s’ new ride. These girls were crawling around in the car in loose clothing, pushing buttons, and cranking the radio up. Lil Wayne started playing and they started grinding on the leather seats, all in broad daylight mind you.
Jim finally returned with this ‘financial advisor’ and told me the payment was too high. I agreed and knocked another $500 off. He gave me 100 free passes to the club. I still don’t know what happened to my necktie.”
“Eyesight” Is Always The First Thing You Should Check Before Driving
“I used to work at Subaru as a detailer. We had just gotten in the new Subaru Outback with ‘Eyesight.’ Eyesight was basically two cameras that were used to adjust speed control, as well as automatic braking, if you were too close to a vehicle in front of you or approaching something fast.
This salesman was an idiot, and wanted to show me how the system worked on the lot. I had a sneaking suspicion that something would go wrong.
‘Everything is ready,’ the salesman said after I hopped in. ‘Watch this.’
He floored it along the back row of the lot, driving right toward another new Outback. He was expecting it to brake for him when he was zooming toward it. Instead –
BAM!
He drove right into another vehicle head-on and smashed up two brand new vehicles pretty badly. His reason: ‘Oh no, I forgot to turn Eyesight on. Oops.’
Nothing happened to him. He was the manager’s son.”
“When We Go Around The Corner…”
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“About 20 years ago, my dad’s coworker was with two Mexicans who wanted to test drive a car. He was Cuban with blonde hair and blue eyes, so it didn’t look like he grew up speaking fluent Spanish.
Five minutes into the test drive, they start talking to each other in Spanish saying something along the lines of, ‘When we go around the corner, I’ll get his attention and you shoot him.’
The employee opened the door, while they were going about 35 mph in a residential area, rolled out of the car, and took off. The car sped off and headed for Mexico. They were eventually caught.”
“Sir, Put The Vehicle In Park, Please…”
“A year or so ago an old man was test driving a Ford F-150 with me in the passenger seat. When we got back to the lot, he insisted on backing it into the parking space himself. There was a BMW behind us and it looked like he was going to hit it, so I offered to get out and move it.
‘I’m not gonna hit it,’ he said.
‘Sir, we’re getting awful close,’ I said. ‘Put the vehicle in park for me.’
‘I’m not gonna hit the darn car!’
CRUNCH.
‘Well there it is,’ I basically said, and hopped out. I showed him the damage and he insisted he did not do it. I think he was just embarrassed and panicked a bit. I would have worked something out with him since the damage was not all that bad, but he called me a liar, hopped in his truck, and left. I called the police. He wound up paying a couple hundred bucks for the damage.”
A Generous Tip
“I was in my early 20s at the time. This guy showed up to my dealership in a flashy Maserati and wanted to test drive a new Nissan. During the drive, he drove the Nissan to an ATM and withdrew about $200. Then, he just gave it to me. It was kind of weird and I was not really sure what to do with it. I tried to refuse it, but he was insistent. He said it was a tip and he just wanted to make sure I was taken care of.
We went back and he said he would have someone be in touch to complete the purchase. My manager tried to get him to stay and just buy it at that moment. The guy broke down and started yelling at my manager about how his son had just died and he had a bunch of other things he needed to do.
I reported the money he gave me because I didn’t really know what else to do with it and did not want it to become an issue if he told other people later. I figured we would just apply it to the purchase or something. My manager told me to just keep it.
He never ended up buying the car and I never heard from him again. It was kind of a weird experience all things considered. I sold cars for years and that was the only time someone ever gave me extra money for NOT buying a car and the only time I saw someone yelling at a manager in the showroom.”
“Can I Go Show This To My Mom To See If She Approves?”
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“I am not a salesman, but I once went to a Mazda dealership to test drive an RX-8. The salesman was a talkative dude. To make conversation I asked him what was the craziest thing he had seen on the job.
He told me he let a guy test drive an RX-8 as well and that the dude absolutely loved it. Before buying it though, he asked, ‘Can I go show this to my mom to see if she approves?’
‘Of course,’ the salesman replied.
The dude did not come back after a few hours, so the salesman called him up. The dude let him know he was on his way to New Orleans to show his mom. The dealership was in South Texas.
The dude shows up a day or so later and bought the car. The salesman was relieved because he would have been fired, and then some.”
It’s Nothing Personal, Just Business
“When I told a salesman I was still looking and not going to buy the car that day, he broke down and cried. A 30-year-old man. He excused himself and went to see his manager, came back, and then cried some more. He said he thought we connected and was sure I was going to buy the car. I think he was trying to get me to feel bad for not buying. After all that I wanted was to get out of there as fast as I could.”
“He Wanted To Go His Own Way”
“I had a dirty looking guy with long, greasy hair who wanted to test drive a Cadillac. We had a pre-planned route for test drives, but he turned the opposite way out of the dealership and told me he wanted to go his own way.
At this point, he was acting somewhat strange. Nothing specific, just odd mannerisms. We drove a couple miles and I started getting a bit scared that I was going to be on the 6 o’clock news. Suddenly, he pulled into an ice cream place. He bought us both ice cream cones. We ate them as he checked out the engine. Then, we drove back, and he left.
It was nice.”
Need A Ride?
“This is a friend of mine’s story.
A customer took a Mazda sedan for a test drive. Midway through, he pulled over and asked to swap with the salesman to experience the car from the passenger seat. Just as they were about to drive off again, he said he felt sick and could not go on. He thanked for his time. It turned out that he just wanted a lift into town.”
Tis’ The Season?!
“I work at a used dealership. We sell all types of vehicles, but the most popular vehicle in our area is a full-size pickup. We always have at least five or ten.
It was early December, 2 years ago when we had a dude come in who was looking around at our cars. He said he was interested in a Focus wagon and wanted to take it for a test drive.
‘No problem man,’ I said. ‘Have a good time.’
He came back about 45 minutes later, said that it was not what he was looking for, and rushed off. I went to put the car away and noticed it smelled like pine. The imbecile loaded a Christmas tree in the back, took it home, and then brought our car back. Why couldn’t he have just used a truck?”
“She Started Asking If The Car Had Any Demons In It”
“I have been a professional car salesman at the same dealer for almost five years. I’ve seen some stuff.
The strangest was this little old lady named Virginia. She was a sweet old lady who was basically senile. She drove up in a silver 2001 Lincoln Town Car. She said that demons had possessed that car and ‘the man in the radio’ told her to buy a new one. I was a little perplexed, but I agreed to show her a (new at the time) 2011 Lincoln Town Car in silver. She immediately fell in love with it. She wanted to test drive it.
I felt a little awkward about getting the key, as I could not really tell if she was serious. Nevertheless, I asked her for her driver’s license. It was current and valid, so I got the keys. She started the car, drove it across our parking lot and then immediately stopped when she spotted her current 2001 TC sitting in the parking lot.
‘Hey,’ she said, ‘there’s a silver one! Can we drive that one?’
I was really confused. I reminded her that the car she was pointing at was actually her current car, and we were test driving a new silver one.
‘Oh, OK,’ she replied. ‘We’ll drive that one when we get back.’
At this point, I was not comfortable. I asked her to stay stopped for a moment. I called my sales manager and explained to him what was going on. While he was just as confused as I was, he told me to proceed with the drive, but not leave the general area or go on any freeways.
We left the lot and pulled up to a busy intersection. While we were waiting for a green light, she started asking me if the car had any bad demons in it. I chuckled a little bit.
‘Absolutely not,’ I assured her. ‘It’s a brand new car.’
The light went green and we proceeded down a busy main road at about 20 mph. The speed limit was 45. She would not go any faster. Cars were flying past us, blaring their horns. I told her to ignore them and focus on driving up to a safe speed. She got to about 30 mph. We were cruising along at 30 mph, while still annoying all of the traffic around us, when she suddenly, for no reason, just slammed on the brakes. THANK GOODNESS no one was immediately behind us. That surely would have ended with a collision.
I politely asked her to please pull over to the side of the road. She asked me why and I told her that there was some feature I wanted to show her on the car. She pulled off the road. We both got out and then I jumped in the driver’s side seat.
‘OK Virginia,’ I said, ‘I’m going to show you cool stuff. Go ahead and hop in. I’ll drive.’
As I drove us back to the dealership, I pointed out the nice ride and stuff. She was being very quiet. I pulled up to the dealership. I walked her inside and then told my sales manager what had been going on. He admitted that it was all very strange and he came out to talk to her. She told him that she wanted to buy the car, which was music to his ears. He looked at me as if to say, What’s the big deal? Sell her the car.
At this point, I did not feel right about it. I asked her if she was absolutely sure that she wants to buy a brand new car today.
‘Yes I’d love to,’ she said. ‘Do you have any silver Town Cars?’
I explained to her that we had just gotten back from a test drive in a silver Town Car. She did not believe me and wanted to see a new silver Town Car. I called the police and explained that I believed she was senile and should not be driving. They came down to the dealer to meet her. That was when we found out that she had gone missing from an institute not too far from here.
They had no idea how she got the 2001 Town Car. It was registered to a family in town with no relation to her and had been reported stolen. I do not know what happened to her after that, but it was all really sad.”
“I Thought We Were Goners”
“I was showing a car to a guy one day. When I went to go get something, he had opened the hood to look at the engine bay, and closed it before I got back. While we were driving on the interstate during the test drive, sure enough, the hood flew open. He hadn’t latched it all the way.
It smashed into the windshield, shattering it. We were going really fast, and could not see anything at all. I thought we were goners. Somehow he made it off the road without any further incident.
I was also offered ‘a good time’ in a car by an attractive older woman, but didn’t do it…”
The Millionaire Don’t Care
“I had a guy show up on a fairly nice Harley Davidson without a shirt on. Nobody helped him, so I offered to. He wanted to drive one of our top end cars – a $320,000 Rolls-Royce Ghost. I got a service bag (the ones that protect the seats from mechanics’ grime) and let him drive it. We got up to about 140 mph on a public road before I told him he needed to buy it before hitting 150 mph.
We went back to the dealership. He went to his bike and wrote us a check. We delivered the car to his house that night. He has been buying cars from the dealership ever since. He’s also purchased a 2014 Porsche 911 Turbo S, Maserati Gran Turismo MC Stradale Convertible or Grancabriolet, depending on where you’re from, and an Aston Martin Vanquish.”
At Least She Bought The Car
“I left the car business a long time ago, but one customer will be forever seared into my brain. She came in to trade her six year-old car in for a new Ford Explorer. I got the car ready and pulled it around front. She climbed in and carefully pulled out into traffic. She asked if we could run an errand. I
‘Sure,’ I said.
We drove to a house a few minutes away. She got out, took a small bag out of her purse, and placed a used feminine product on the windshield of a car in the driveway.
‘Forget that ho,’ she said, as she stepped back into the car. We drove away. She bought the car and was gone a couple hours later.
I will never be the same.”
That Must Have Been A Fun Ride
“I am a former salesperson. Probably the craziest story of mine would be this guy who, during the test drive, suddenly yelled ‘LETS TEST OUT THE 4 WHEEL DRIVE!!!’
He veered off the road near the dealership and cut donuts in a muddy field. I did not really care if he damaged the truck, because that is what insurance and lawyers are for. I just felt bad for the underpaid guys in the back who had to clean it back up.
The only time I ever got upset with someone and told them to pull the heck over was this old man who was test driving a brand new 2008 Corvette. This guy could not drive a manual to save his life. He could barely get it out of the parking space, but he managed to get enough momentum to start rolling toward the road. I noped the heck out.”