With a bunch of 'he said, she said' going on in divorce mediations, things can get complicated. But sometimes the situation is much more shocking or wraps up in a very different way than expected. Divorce lawyers reveal such instances, sharing the insane plot twist moments they've had with clients.
But It’s An Important Holiday!
“I had a couple arguing for three hours over who got the kids on Christmas day, only to discover at the end that they were both Jewish. I had another woman who said that her husband drained $60K from their community bank account to pay for a sex change operation that he never told her he was planning to do.” (Source)
B***h Be Trippin’
“I had a case where the estranged wife was calling my client’s employer repeatedly, accusing him of theft and other white-collar crimes, to try getting my client fired. The thing is, the children were with her, and she was also demanding child support. Which is based on his income. For the job from which she was trying to get him fired. Fortunately, the employer was onto her BS and my client wasn’t let go.” (Source)
Well That’s Just Messed Up
“My dad says he won the custody hearing, because my mom got to keep me.” (Source)
Getting Out Of A Sticky Situation
“In the 80’s my uncle was working as a news photographer and met and married a news anchor of which he would go on to have 2 children with. After leaving the news business he decided to start a video editing business with his wife. That went extremely well for a while and they were making money hand over fist. He would be asked to shoot and then edit, she would work as the middle woman for his clients and as bookkeeper. Eventually she would turn out to be a secret substance abuser and adulterer and their marriage ended in divorce. At this point my uncle was making a couple 100k a year with their business. She decided to sue him for alimony because she helped him build his business. Her demands were ridiculous, something like 75% of the business for the next so many years. My uncle’s lawyer was afraid she was going to win because she had played such a big role in building the biz. Fast forward to court day, her lawyer stands in front of the judge and lists off what she wants in the divorce. Once he is finished it’s my uncle’s turn. He blindsides her and offers to give her 100% of the business. The judge and both lawyers are confused and ask him if he is sure. Without him shooting and editing there is no business. So basically she would be left with a hell of a lot less than she asking for by asking for X amount of profits. The judge reasoned that his offer was fair and that she could take it or leave it. She was pissed, her lawyer was pissed and she ended up getting nothing.” (Source)
Justice Served
“Had a guy who funneled money over to his girlfriend, thinking he was slick hiding it from his wife. Girlfriend broke up with him and kept it.” (Source)
Conflict Of Interest
“This is a true story and it happened in New Jersey. Guy getting a divorce becomes suspicious and insanely jealous that his separated wife is having an affair. He secretly follows her to a bar and waits outside in his car. She comes out many hours later in the dark and follows another car to a house. Husband follows her, staying back, and parks down the block. He gets out, sees the house her car is parked at, and goes around into the backyard. He’s sneaking around looking in windows and finally opens a sliding glass door and enters the house. His wife and the guy she is with hear him moving around, lock the bedroom door, and call 911. He starts pounding on the bedroom door and shouting at his wife, and then the cops kick in the front door. The cops get everyone downstairs to sort this out. That is when the guy realized for the first time his wife was sleeping with his own divorce lawyer.” (Source)
Um, Really?!
“I was in a mediation where it took the couple an hour and a half to split their personal property, retirement accounts, real property and custody of their 6 month old son. The rest of the day, about 4 hours, was spent arguing about how to split the time with the dog. For the kid they just put ‘as agreed upon by the parties,’ but the dog had a strict calendared schedule working out holidays and strict pickup/drop off times. I was ashamed to be a part of that unbelievable display.” (Source)
Awful Human Beings
“My professor told us about this women who came in for counseling, complaining that her husband would never have sex with her. She claims to love him and all, and that he’s a great guy. He tells her she has to bring him in so they can get counseled together. So the guy, who’s an MD, comes in sits down. My prof asks how often this guy masturbates. He says about once a day. The wife looks disgusted and demands an explanation, where upon the guy says he’s too busy for sex. And for him to have sex with her, he has to ‘wine and dine’ her. He gets home and is exhausted. So he just tends to skip the sex, opting for masturbation in the morning in the shower while his wife is asleep. But the guy starts to make considerable progress over the course of time, and the couple is spending more time together. Yet my prof notices however the wife doesn’t seem to be much happier. So he confronts her on a one-on-one session. She is a little hesitant, but makes my prof swear to confidentiality. The truth is that she thinks her husband is boring, and that she has been having an affair for 2 years. She didn’t think he would go for counseling, but was surprised when he did and made progress. She wanted to use it as an excuse for a divorce, and come out looking like a good guy. He said they had to stop counseling if he was going to keep things confidential.” (Source)
It’s A Small World
“There’s this rich couple that were suing a company. A guy on the jury is hanging out with a friend one afternoon, and his buddy starts telling him about this cougar he’s banging. Supposedly she is a giant, controlling b—h, but she spends a lot of her husband’s money on him, so he puts up with it. Part way through the convo, he drops her first name, and the jury dude goes, ‘wait! Is her name **?’ Friend replies, ‘yeah, do you know her?’ Turns out it’s the rich lady from the case he is on. The next day he had to recuse himself from the case, because he couldn’t look at her the same way. The couple’s lawyer demanded an explanation as to why he was dropping out in the middle of everything, so he had to tell the judge, the lawyer, the lady… and her husband. Awkward. Anyways, that case was put on hold for a long time, because they had a divorce to get to.” (Source)
A Little Late
“I’ve had a client come in to file divorce only to realize that the other party already obtained a divorce… (he lied and never properly served her and she defaulted.) Had to undo that one.” (Source)
How The Tables Have Turned
“My uncle and his wife were in a rocky relationship and the end seemed inevitable. We all knew they were fighting, and we all knew that the wife was pretty crazy, so the divorce wasn’t shocking. So one day my mom was at work and she sees this story on the front page of a newspaper about how someone with her same last name was plotted to be murdered by his ex-wife. She read it and realized that the person was indeed her brother. It turns out that the ex-wife had been talking to an undercover cop that she thought was a hitman for like 2 months, trying to figure out a way that she could kill her husband and not be traced. The cop obviously had a case going, but the problem was there wasn’t really any evidence at the time that was enough to put her away, or even charge her. Fast forward a couple weeks, and the cop told his buddies at the station what was happening. They show up and my uncle’s doorstep and they break the news to him. The only evidence that could actually do any damage to her was if she actually paid him money when the job was done. What they ended up doing was taking my uncle out into a field, putting makeup on him, making it look like he was murdered and photographed. The cop brings her the pics, and she pays him and he arrests her on the spot. It turns out all she wanted was his life insurance policy and custody of the two kids. But instead she got 4 years of jail time.” (Source)
Keep It In The Family
“We had a divorce case where the husband and wife were first cousins, they knew each other their whole lives and married late in life to each other. He had been cheating on her with his step-daughter from his first marriage.” (Source)
The Real Winners
“I worked in divorce law for a bit more than a year. And then got the f–k out. Some highlights of what I’ve seen: Guy cheats on wife with wife’s best friend. Wife steals 6 million dollars from his bank account and disappears. Guy gets multi-million dollar inheritance, during divorce he spends it all on strippers. Literally the whole thing. Couple has over 5 million dollars in assets. Spend over 3 years getting divorced. Couple has liquidated retirement and sold their house, still not divorced. Lawyers have millions of dollars (this is largely the reason I’m done with this s–t).” (Source)
Can’t Blame Her
“My ex-wife kicked me during our initial sit down with our divorce lawyers. Stood up and delivered a full-on front kick to the thigh. She’s a bad kicker, luckily. In retrospect, it may have been because I called her a soulless c–t just before that. Who knows.” (Source)