Some people are just too stupid to handle even hours of a job. Here are 17 great examples of this. People fired on the first day they reported for a new job.
How You Doing?

I was a pizza delivery guy at a family owned Italian restaurant. They brought a guy in to help make pizzas. Two hours into his training he starts talking about wanting to bang the waitresses. The waitresses were the daughters of the owner. The guy teaching him how to make the pizzas was the older brother. He was physically ejected from the building Source
Free Clothes!

At orientation, they told the twelve of us that we were the bestest and the brightest of 900 or so interviews they’d conducted. We got our access badges and our corporate Amex cards. One of the “best and the brightest” went to a high-end men’s clothing store on his lunch hour and purchased four thousand dollars worth of suits, ties and shoes. He came back from lunch and bragged of his exploits. Fired on the spot. He actually thought his Amex card was a job perk. “Can I at least keep the clothes?” Source
Buncha Dopes!

My company hired temps for this big job. We didn’t have a lot of space, so temps had to double up in cubicles. I did feel very bad for them, but some of their actions were hilarious /terrible.
Our laptops require a password to login before doing anything. It’s a gray screen with prompts for the username and password. Pretty simple stuff. One guy had his username and password written on a post-it note. He then spent two hours trying to figure out how to login. He didn’t realize he had to press enter. TWO HOURS!
Another guys was chugging along at his task. His cube mate was sneezing or talking or something. His reaction? Slap her. He got escorted out of the building. The next day, he shows up to work again like nothing happened. He was escorted back out and told to please not return Source
Lucky

Friend was hired and then the next day the company announced layoffs. Of course he was first to go. He got lucky though because for one reason or another they had to continue paying him for the next 2 months even though he only worked a total of 2 days. Halfway into that two months he found a better job Source
Good Work, Manager Man

I applied for a job in the kitchen of restaurant. There was no application, just a walk-in interview. I show up to work a couple days later and the chef starts giving me a tour of the kitchen. “Alright, you ready to make some omelettes?” Uh, sure…. you gonna show me? He looked at me, paused, and started laughing. Nervous laughter from my side. As it turns out, the manager called the wrong the person. She got me mixed up with the guy who had 5 years experience and called me by mistake Source
Classy Move

I worked in a pizzeria and there was a new driver who was starting. He took his first delivery and when he can back there were no deliveries up so I told him that in between he would have to do dishes and clean. He replied ” That’s a woman’s work, I don’t do women’s work”. And…..you’re fired Source
What a Dum-Dum

yup, new kid around 19 or 20 comes in (warehouse job) goes out to buy weed during lunch break, gets busted, turns out he has a warrant out for him, goes to jail, then has the balls to call us to bail him out because he lives with his grandmother and she would get upset Source
So Lost

I fired a driver a month ago because she came in, I asked her for drivers information so that we could get her in the computer. I had already run a check on her driving record, and it came back okay. She comes back with a bunch of irrelevant information and no drivers license. I said, “oh, I need your drivers license as well. I could have sworn that was one of the first things I asked for?” And she said, “Oh, okay.” Comes back with yet more papers, but no license. I say again, “Joan, I need your Drivers license. All this paperwork you’ve given me has nothing to do with what I’m doing.” She then says “Oh!” And opens her phone case and pulls out her license. I finish putting her into the computer while thinking to myself, “maybe she’s hard of hearing.”
So, I sent her on 3 runs with another driver. Things seem to be going okay. Then I get a delivery that’s literally a block behind us. (Why they didn’t just pick their food up is beyond me, but this is OC, Maryland and the people there feel entitled, but whatever.)
So I send her on this delivery which should only take 10 minutes if you’re driving a Fred Flinstone mobile. And yet, she comes back an hour later with the food saying “I couldn’t find it.” I said that she should have called the number on the ticket, and that I could literally walk the delivery to the house in less time then she could get her car started and down the road. She said, “well, I never signed up to drive all over hell and creation looking for some house.” I told her, “yes you did. It’s almost literally exactly that in your employee contract. But, if you’re going to waste my product, drive away customers and be insubordinate, then I have no employment for you. Have a nice day, please return my Flag to me now” Source
Just Bad Luck

I got fired on my first day. Reason: His best mate just lost his job so he fired me and hired him instead Source
What A Giant Pain In The

I got fired after my first week because of charges on my “record” that never occurred. I had to go to the police and have another background check run, contact hr. I was then “‘re hired”. It was honestly a tough week getting all that straight and now I wonder how many jobs I didn’t get because of this mix up. I have a really generic name, and Share part of a social security number with a person that has the same name as well. apparently he likes to beat his wife up Source
Yeah, Don’t Pay The Man

I fired a guy who showed up four hours late his first day. I was in a moving company at the time. When he showed up he asked if he still gets paid for the job, since the bill includes 4 people and we did the job with 3, I told him to walk home and not to bother showing up the next day Source
Weird Specific Racism

While working on an apple orchard in Australia the foreman would fire any German or Asian worker within their first hour simply for speaking. Wasn’t the most pleasant person to work for Source
Worst Day Ever

His last job, he was driving cars from where they were dropped off to where they were sold at auction. He was driving this really nice BMW sitting at a stop sign at the base of a hill. Semi truck carrying logs loses its brakes and slams him at 50+ mph. He then proceeds to t-bone another car while still getting pushed by the semi. Him t-boning the other guy knocked him out from in front of the semi and into another car which had seen what was happening and slid to a stop. The semi went over the hill and landed in the creek at the base.
He got cut out of the car then airlifted out (along with the driver of the semi and the passenger of the car he t-boned) and when he called his boss (after emergency surgery) the boss fired him. He sued the hell out of the company for wrongful termination and he’s been living off the money for 3 years Source
The Party Shift!

We were training a class for a 3am-12pm shift, so of course the training was at 3am.
One guy came in drunk as a skunk (probably left the bar straight to work). Slurring and falling asleep. We had to keep him there for a couple hours after firing him because we didn’t want to be responsible for him driving home drunk Source
Not Smart. Not Smart At All

Worked for a logistics company that specialized in transport computers. The guy left the depot on his first day, made his first delivery, went to the petrol station to fill up, left the keys in the cab when he went to pay and returned to nothing more than an empty parking spot and bad work references Source
You Mean, People Have Jobs In The Winter?

I work in a college town and we hired a new part-timer to work reception. On her first day she casually mentions to us that her wealthy parents want her to experience what it’s lke to “struggle”. So she has to work a job and use the city busses for two months and then she can quit and her parents will give her allowance back and get her a new car.
Boss: “Wait, so you’re going to leave in two months?”
Her: “Yeah, that’s what my parents said.”
Boss: “Can I talk to you in my office?” Source
Crazy Is An Understatement

I had to fire a janitor on day one because someone spilled a cup of coffee and he stared them directly in the eyes and yelled “f— you” at the top of his lungs. He was f’ing crazy. He threatened to kill me after he was fired and stood outside of the workplace with a bouquet of flowers until we called the police on more than one occasion Source